Coffee thread

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Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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smarxist posted:

i don't like the taste of coffee, but sometimes i wonder if that's because i've never had a "good one"

i do like the smell though, and i also kinda like the social mythos and aura around coffee consumption, it has as many vagaries as something like wine for instance, but isn't as obnoxious, more blue collar

someone coffeepill me, what is a type of coffee and preparation that a novice may enjoy? i'm willing to take pains to make it well, and drink it relatively pure (never quite understood people who pour a 1/3rd cup off coffee and then dump a pint of heavy cream and sugar in, just get a milkshake man)

For methods: If you want an espresso type with minimal effort, AeroPress is a good choice: https://www.amazon.com/Aeropress-Original-bitterness-American-espresso/dp/B0047BIWSK I used to do this but i'm a quantity person and it's too much fiddling when i'm comatose in the morning and just need to get. Temperature is also important, you generally want to have hot water around 195-200f. Not 212f. this is very important.

French Press is also a good cheap option, no issues with that either. it's very easy and very lazy. can pick one up from ikea for like $15. It does tend to be a little more watery

These days I use a clever-dripper which is a combination drip coffee/pour over. It's perfect for my lazy needs where I just want to pour hot water (198f) into it for a few minutes then drink. https://www.amazon.com/Clever-Dripper-Filters-Baristas-Plastic/dp/B09BN5CM4P/. Proper pour-overs are too fiddly imo, don't like em

For coffee itself, imo there isn't that big of difference between bespoke bougie single origin poo poo and something you can buy at Trader Joe's like morning blend or bay coffee. This would be my cheap go-to. Whole then grind is the way to go and then it matters even less what you buy. Cafe Bustello is also good for pre-grind if you don't want a grinder and want something cheap

For grinding, depends on what method you are using in how precise it needs to be fine or coarse, but generally a decent burr grinder is the way to go and just an easy button press. You can get something fancy like the Baratza model which is top or something cheaper like a Chefman is ok too.

but yes cream+sugar is an abomination. i'm straight black but sometimes I add a splash of oatley oat milk to it, just a splash though. most oat milks suck poo poo but oatley is good for coffee.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2023 21:56

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 10:56

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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AnimeIsTrash posted:

havign a real espresso machine at home owns

i want one but i just dont have room in my tiny 1 br apartment. if i ever have a house (lol) then im definitely buying a fancy bougie italian espresso machine from the 1920s or something

# ¿ Nov 25, 2023 22:09

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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snack soul posted:

i took home the very nice espresso machine and grinder from the office back in 2020. not looking forward to giving it back next year but i had a good run

just dont give it back

# ¿ Nov 25, 2023 22:11

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Ohtori Akio posted:

but really dont overthink brew method, grinding your own beans is the part that matters

the brew method comes down to how much volume you want and then how much quality. i'm a guy who likes a 16oz thermos of coffee ready to go as fast as possible so i can hit the road and sip it during commute over the next 30 minutes. so tiny cups don't do it for me because i like drinking liquids constantly. french press also works for same reason because if im in a hurry I can just grab the french press to go and fill up my thermos in the car later

but some people are once-and-done types so maybe they need a different method

but yea home drip, buy espresso is my approach

# ¿ Nov 25, 2023 22:57

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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AntifaSupersoldier posted:

Cold brew > hot coffee

get the gently caress outta here bitch

# ¿ Nov 26, 2023 05:56

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Pentecoastal Elites posted:

I used to be fine with whatever I got out of the coffee urn at the gas station but we were given an espresso machine as a wedding present and it has turned me into a fancy pants little bitch. NEVER drink a good coffee

I'm closer to the coffee snob tier but i'm also poor and also extremely lazy, so i end up not caring that much but I do have standards. I absolutely cannot stand k-cups. even worse are those lovely GreenMountainHouse k-cup knockoffs they give you at a hotel, nor can i stand nestle instacoffee or whatever. that stuff is genuinely vile. i dislike that hotels have gotten rid of small Mr. Coffee drip machines in favor of k-cup-style non-sense

gas station coffee is ok if it's actually brewed on-site relatively fresh in at least those giant insulated drip-coffee containers. ideally they'd have the dinner-style drip machines. i'm usually making enough at home in a big zojirushi thermos that I don't need to go out of my way to buy some from a gas station

# ¿ Nov 26, 2023 06:03

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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lumpentroll posted:

do moka pots work ok

not my first choice of tool as its a bit too fiddly when i'm groggy and tired in the morning, but its ok. i prefer cowboy coffee at that point

it's more like something you'd make in the evening after a dinner imo when you're already alert/awake.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2023 07:06

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Nix Panicus posted:

Stimulants often do not have the intended effect on someone with ADHD. If you love drinking big pots of black coffee and taking a nap afterwards its probably extremely normal and unrelated to the first sentence.

well poo poo, i'm hosed. looks like i gotta go get some ritalin or something

# ¿ Nov 26, 2023 07:08

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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PhilippAchtel posted:

I need to look get a cold brewer. My main problem with coffee in the morning is that I'm too lazy / don't want to wake up earlier.

Our coffee maker is a stove top percolator, which is easy to clean and you never need to buy filters, but it takes a long time.

i recommend the clever dripper or french press if you're lazy but still capable of turning on a water kettle. i put in the filter+grinds the night before so it's just a comatose sleep walk to the kettle in the morning with groggy crusty eyes mashing the power button for the water and then pouring it a minute later

or just get a programmable Miele (ftw) drip machine and set it the night before. i had one but it was too big for my apt. it was pretty good though for drip

also death to cold brew no ty. coffee must be hot or else i will personally get you like krampus

# ¿ Nov 26, 2023 22:15

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Zodium posted:

cleverdripper is neat and good but breaks if you use it a lot

ehhh, I replaced mine but because i dropped it and the plastic standoff nub things that keep it from activating broke. i epoxied it back on but it didn't last so i did replace it. purely a user problem and not a design problem.

so i dunno I use mine daily and haven't had any non-skill issue faults

i've broken far more french presses in my life.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2023 23:22

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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what is the appeal of cold brew? I found it vile. coffee should be piping hot with steam visibly rising from a nice ceramic mug like twin peaks

not loving cold

I guess if you have an esophagus issue where you can�t have hot things� fine

# ¿ Nov 27, 2023 20:21

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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AnimeIsTrash posted:

wyat is the point of all those latin american death squads if i have to pay a dollar more for a bag of coffee

the jakarta method of brewing coffee is my favorite method

# ¿ Nov 27, 2023 20:38

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Lpzie posted:

can we please talk about how freshly grounded coffee smells like a just open can of dog food and fresh coffee smells like dog poo poo?

die

# ¿ Nov 27, 2023 22:31

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Real hurthling! posted:

if i drink the whole french press its essentially an enema within 45 mins

man you got some good rear end motility. doesn't for me, i wish it did

or skill issue

# ¿ Nov 28, 2023 04:32

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Les Os posted:

stupid question:

my friend told me that some coffee brands outsource their stuff to other coffee companies then slap their label on it. I know booze does this too (bottled in vs. distilled in). what�s the point of this? why not just invest in making coffee or booze better than whoever you�re paying to make coffee for you. I get it from the side of the manufacturer: you got the means of production might as well get paid from multiple brands but what do the brands get out of it. something like coffee roasting or distilling booze can be done for cheap in someone�s backyard

Ohtori gave a good example but i'd also give an example of a different angle: a lot of farmers market stalls are people just buying bulk produce from costco or wholesalers and putting them in bespoke wooden or wicker baskets and handmade signs with a cute stall name like The Frog x Estuary Farms and reselling them. are they doing anything wrong? depends on your point of view.

sure growing food can be done in someone's backyard and could make more money without buying from costco first, but it's still work, time, and capital, and maybe you still couldn't produce the quantities required. it's just managing excess supply arbitrage where where someone else has the farms and resources to overproduce and you take the overproduction and resell it

coffee roasting is not that cheap, proper roasting machines can be costly, having to sign import deals to get beans on a regular basis which could mean pre-signing a large contract that maybe doesn't sell well and having to stockpile it somewhere, managing the production and buying packaging machines and package materials, etc. there's often going to be excess capacity that people can basically sell to you that might be more profitable or smart business venture than investing your own capital and time into something that is better suited elsewhere (or not at all). I think you're underestimating how much work goes into it if you're serious about selling packaged in-house coffee beans

e: Think about it this way, you could sign a contract with a producer to produce beans, package them, label them to your spec and deliver them to your coffee shop for say $6/pack en mass basically no skin off your back. You turn around and resell them for $10/pack at your shop. You're basically making $4/pack profit off no labor or capital investment of your own. It's about as Free Real Estate! as you can get.

Or you could invest $100k into coffee roasters, ventillation systems, city permitting for smell/operating hours/whatever, buying packaging machine, label makers, and then spend 80-hours/wk of FTE labor to produce them for maybe around $5/pack. Is it worth the extra +$1/pack you earn in profit? Is it worth the payroll to hire people, having to be a manager to manage people and assign them schedules/jobs/etc just to produce them? Is that something you're going to loathe doing and be miserable managing people so you have to hire someone else to manage them while you do your bespoke brewing instead? Is it worth your time to run that if you aren't hiring a peon to do it? Do you have $100k to invest upfront for something that might not sell well? maybe if you know its going to be successful and sell out massive massive volumes, maybe not.

final thing i'll add: in my experience a number of actual bespoke in-house roaster guys are doing it more as a hobby that just so happens to pay the bills. they do it because they loving love roasting coffee themselves: love of the game, and not so much the money. it's actually a pretty bad value proposition for the labor they put in but that's moot. like there's that one computer touching cspam goon who quit computers and moved to farm in rural Vermont to farm maple syrup all day. i don't think it pays well but they enjoy doing it and it beats the 9-5 office grind. i've met a number of coffee roasters who are basically that goon. if you are in it for the money and business, then no it's not worth it to do it yourself

Xaris has issued a correction as of 08:52 on Nov 28, 2023

# ¿ Nov 28, 2023 08:21

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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also just narrowly beaten by a much more to-the-point Nix

# ¿ Nov 28, 2023 08:26

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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lobster shirt posted:

thinking about drinking a coffee tomorrow

i'm drinking one right now and so should you

# ¿ Dec 1, 2023 01:40

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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lobster shirt posted:

can't drink coffee this late, it keeps me up

doesn't keep me up, i can fall asleep right after a cup. seems like a skill issue to me

# ¿ Dec 1, 2023 01:56

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Cuttlefush posted:

and if you drink decaf....

what about halfcaf

# ¿ Dec 7, 2023 03:17

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Smythe posted:

getting a cringe fail coffee at school. vanilla latte lol. so stupid. but I like it sometimes

i would like foofoo lattes if they weren't so sickeningly sweet all the time. like some of my favorite flavored are rose-cardamon-cinnamon without really any added sugar

i've had real vanilla bean lattes without all the sb sugar and those are very good

Xaris has issued a correction as of 23:26 on Dec 7, 2023

# ¿ Dec 7, 2023 23:24

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Zodium posted:

wife bought some oat creamer that's surprisingly good and doesn't taste like I poured old oatmeal milk on my coffee. win

yep. a dash of oat milk is good

Oatly is a reasonable additive

# ¿ Dec 8, 2023 17:54

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Dokapon Findom posted:

Love coffee but hate the amount of time spent grinding beans by hand (~5 min per serving)

skill issue

takes me 3 seconds for a grind

# ¿ Dec 17, 2023 00:27

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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Dokapon Findom posted:

I use one of these: https://global.hario.com/product/coffee/grinder/MSCS.html

So don't even FUCKIN try me with that poo poo

i have one of these and do this, simple
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5hXYloq9ek

# ¿ Dec 17, 2023 21:12

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 10:56

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
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but fr it's not worth it, just get an automatic burr. i could not tell the difference between hadn grnding for 50 minutes versus a button push

# ¿ Dec 17, 2023 21:12

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