I definitely have drank more than 25,550 cans of diet soda in my life

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I definitely have drank more than 25,550 cans of diet soda in my life

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redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

This is why we need the return of the Crystal sodas. For clear pee.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 18:29

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# ? May 12, 2024 08:15

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:

Oh and if your urine is orange uhh yeah you have a bile duct issue and should seek medical advice

# ? Nov 26, 2023 18:34

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020

credburn posted:

Of my soda intake probably 80% is Diet Mt. Dew.

I actually don't need to pee as often as you might think, but when I do it's kind of like the color of diet mt dew but slightly more... darkish orange?

\/\/ goddammit it's drunk, I didn't know, this is so loving embarrassing \/\/

i drinka shitload of soda daily crushing those dr peppas and even my piss is clear. you must drink additional waters

# ? Nov 26, 2023 18:44

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Toxic Mental posted:

I definitely have sucked more than 25,550 cocks in my life

Diet penis doesn�t count the cum doesn�t have any calories

# ? Nov 26, 2023 18:56

credburn: Jun 22, 2016; A tangled skein of bad opinions, the hottest takes, and the the world's most misinformed nonsense. Do not engage with me, it's useless, and better yet, put me on ignore.

I bought this "smart" water bottle to keep me drinking water. The truth is, I don't drink water, ever. Ever, ever, ever. I hate the taste of water, and I -- no joke -- I loving choke when I drink non-carbinated water. When I swallow non-carbinated water, it's like, right after the swallowing muscle contraction, there's like a vacuum that sucks a mysterious drop of water down my windpipe. Every time I drink water I cough because I swallow and inhale water. I know, that's fuckin weird. So I got this smart water bottle, anyway, and it's supposed to sync with my phone and bitch at me if I don't consume enough water over a certain amount of time. But it's finnicky and seems to not want to sync unless I go through the app manually every time which is a hassle. But I can make the water bottle beep at me every hour, so I'm definitely more hydrated now than I've ever been. Actually, since I got this water bottle (three months ago) I've probably drank more water than all of last year. I don't choke if I suck water through a straw.

No kidney stones, no cancer, I had some blood run recently and the doctor said everything but my sodium levels were good. Well, my testosterone levels have actually plummeted but I think that's a separate issue; it's so low they're putting me on hormone replacement therapy. I should maybe talk about that though, maybe there's a connection. We used to believe, back in middle school that Mountain Dew could lower your sperm count so it was like, you didn't need condoms if you just drank enough Dew.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 19:17

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

living my life one middle-school rumor at a time

# ? Nov 26, 2023 19:20

Panic! At The Tesco: Aug 19, 2005; FART

credburn posted:

I loving choke when I drink non-carbinated water. When I swallow non-carbinated water, it's like, right after the swallowing muscle contraction, there's like a vacuum that sucks a mysterious drop of water down my windpipe. Every time I drink water I cough because I swallow and inhale water.

skill issue

# ? Nov 26, 2023 20:23

deep dish peat moss: Jul 27, 2006

I couldn't imagine not constantly sipping water. I always have water next to me I drink from it probably every 3-5 minutes.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 20:25

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

I also drink several diet sodas per day

I also drink water though

Not much else. Apple juice when I'm sick

# ? Nov 26, 2023 20:27

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

credburn posted:

I bought this "smart" water bottle to keep me drinking water. The truth is, I don't drink water, ever. Ever, ever, ever. I hate the taste of water, and I -- no joke -- I loving choke when I drink non-carbinated water. When I swallow non-carbinated water, it's like, right after the swallowing muscle contraction, there's like a vacuum that sucks a mysterious drop of water down my windpipe. Every time I drink water I cough because I swallow and inhale water. I know, that's fuckin weird. So I got this smart water bottle, anyway, and it's supposed to sync with my phone and bitch at me if I don't consume enough water over a certain amount of time. But it's finnicky and seems to not want to sync unless I go through the app manually every time which is a hassle. But I can make the water bottle beep at me every hour, so I'm definitely more hydrated now than I've ever been. Actually, since I got this water bottle (three months ago) I've probably drank more water than all of last year. I don't choke if I suck water through a straw.

No kidney stones, no cancer, I had some blood run recently and the doctor said everything but my sodium levels were good. Well, my testosterone levels have actually plummeted but I think that's a separate issue; it's so low they're putting me on hormone replacement therapy. I should maybe talk about that though, maybe there's a connection. We used to believe, back in middle school that Mountain Dew could lower your sperm count so it was like, you didn't need condoms if you just drank enough Dew.

Lmao u need to be reminded to hydrate

# ? Nov 26, 2023 20:36

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

slunk

# ? Nov 26, 2023 20:42

neato burrito: Aug 25, 2002; bitch better have my chex mix

10 PRINT "DRINK WATER IDIOT"
20 GOTO 10

# ? Nov 26, 2023 20:47

Pac and Cheese: Oct 29, 2010; gotta walk fast

whole case a day

# ? Nov 26, 2023 20:48

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

they should make a water designed for people who only drink soda. thats a million dollar idea easy.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:01

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

flubber nuts posted:

they should make a water designed for people who only drink soda. thats a million dollar idea easy.

It's called seltzer

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:01

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

flubber nuts posted:

they should make a water designed for people who only drink soda. thats a million dollar idea easy.

They could carbonate the water and add some sort of flavoring syrup.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:02

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

Also somehow despite growing up in Northern California in the 80s, I grew up very water insecure. The well had failed at the farmhouse my parents rented when I was a kid, so the landlord had a water truck they'd drive up to a local water slide place and fill it up.. :shrug:

whenever

. My parents got fed up with that poo poo and bought a house in the burbs, so yay city water for 4 years, and then my parents bought my grandparents lovely house out in the country, which had a partially failed well and a totally failed filter system. The water was super high in sulfur, so showers/laundry smelled like rotten eggs, which meant during high school I vaguely smelled like rotten eggs. Sometimes it literally looked like the water from the restaurant in the Goonies.

Needless to say, I had a very negative association with drinking water. Soda was my :airquote:

treat

when I was a kid, because for most of my childhood if I wanted water I had to buy it, and if I was spending money I wasn't wasting it on water :barf:

In my 20s, I specifically drank Mountain Dew in lieu of coffee. ( :lol:

I also drank and smoked heavily, and would guzzle a 2 liter Sunday mornings like it wasnt no thing). Energy drinks became a thing and I quit drinking Mountain Dew and then I switched to diet soda, which (unbeknownst to me) has a fuckload more caffeine then regular soda. At one point I was cranking through a 12 pack of Diet Coke a day, wondering why I couldn't sleep and felt like absolute death. When I quit drinking alcohol my soda consumption went into overdrive. I was drinking multiple 64ozs of Diet Dr Pepper a day. As you can imagine thats incredibly unhealthy and I felt like absolute and total dogshit all the time. After an agonizing ER visit and an official diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, I started reeling in the soda. But its loving hard because soda is literally everywhere and everyone drinks it.

Eventually switching to kombucha helped calm my soda addiction, and these days I average a 2-3 sodas a quarter. I drink half-caf coffee in the morning, and then either water or unsweetened decaf iced tea. I can :airquote:

taste

the chemicals in Diet Coke now :barf:

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:03

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

flubber nuts posted:

they should make a water designed for people who only drink soda. thats a million dollar idea easy.

poo poo there's a subscription water bottle now that has smell pods that just inject scent into the airstream while you suck out of the bottle to trick you into thinking you're drinking flavored water without even putting anything in the water

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:03

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

No chemicals in kombucha and tea, luckily

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:04

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

maybeadracula posted:

No chemicals in kombucha and tea, luckily

yeah a lot of phenylalanine in both of them :rolleyes:

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:10

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

credburn posted:

I bought this "smart" water bottle to keep me drinking water. The truth is, I don't drink water, ever. Ever, ever, ever. I hate the taste of water, and I -- no joke -- I loving choke when I drink non-carbinated water. When I swallow non-carbinated water, it's like, right after the swallowing muscle contraction, there's like a vacuum that sucks a mysterious drop of water down my windpipe. Every time I drink water I cough because I swallow and inhale water. I know, that's fuckin weird. So I got this smart water bottle, anyway, and it's supposed to sync with my phone and bitch at me if I don't consume enough water over a certain amount of time. But it's finnicky and seems to not want to sync unless I go through the app manually every time which is a hassle. But I can make the water bottle beep at me every hour, so I'm definitely more hydrated now than I've ever been. Actually, since I got this water bottle (three months ago) I've probably drank more water than all of last year. I don't choke if I suck water through a straw.

No kidney stones, no cancer, I had some blood run recently and the doctor said everything but my sodium levels were good. Well, my testosterone levels have actually plummeted but I think that's a separate issue; it's so low they're putting me on hormone replacement therapy. I should maybe talk about that though, maybe there's a connection. We used to believe, back in middle school that Mountain Dew could lower your sperm count so it was like, you didn't need condoms if you just drank enough Dew.

do more viscous fluids make you choke as well? if not it might be worth trying a fluid thickener, my dad had to go on one for a couple months after throat surgery. either way, definitely tell your doctor about the dysphagia if you haven't

good luck with your hrt, hopefully that's not impacted by the culture war bullshit going on

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:11

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

dervival posted:

good luck with your hrt, hopefully that's not impacted by the culture war bullshit going on

nobody will ever give a poo poo about test replacement because every old white chud is pumped to the gills

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:12

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

never mind the color, how carbonated is your piss

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:21

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

Vampire Panties posted:

yeah a lot of phenylalanine in both of them

Diet Coke and kombucha? ....Yes?

"Chemicals" is just such a dumb scare word

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:23

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

Ah a classic "I'm an unhealthy dipshit but haven't experienced any negative effects lol, btw my piss is orange" thread

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:25

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

lol SCOBYs make a shitload of phenylalanine, it's an amine precursor for all the fun neurotransmitters

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:26

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Phenylalanine deez nuts.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:27

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

That�s $1277.50 in deposit return op, cash in bro

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:28

WILDTURKEY101: Mar 7, 2005; Look to your left. Look to your right. Only one of you is going to pass this course.

coffee in the morning, water during the day, wine at night. gotta be sure to brush your teeth.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:30

Buce: Dec 23, 2005

thank you for you are service

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:39

deep dish peat moss: Jul 27, 2006

MrQwerty posted:

lol SCOBYs make a shitload of phenylalanine, it's an amine precursor for all the fun neurotransmitters

There should be a kombucha brand called SCOBY Dew

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:40

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

That's why I just drink a porridge like low alcohol beverage all day, as I toil in pyramid middle management.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:41

credburn: Jun 22, 2016; A tangled skein of bad opinions, the hottest takes, and the the world's most misinformed nonsense. Do not engage with me, it's useless, and better yet, put me on ignore.

Vampire Panties posted:

Also somehow despite growing up in Northern California in the 80s, I grew up very water insecure. The well had failed at the farmhouse my parents rented when I was a kid, so the landlord had a water truck they'd drive up to a local water slide place and fill it up.. whenever . My parents got fed up with that poo poo and bought a house in the burbs, so yay city water for 4 years, and then my parents bought my grandparents lovely house out in the country, which had a partially failed well and a totally failed filter system. The water was super high in sulfur, so showers/laundry smelled like rotten eggs, which meant during high school I vaguely smelled like rotten eggs. Sometimes it literally looked like the water from the restaurant in the Goonies.

Needless to say, I had a very negative association with drinking water. Soda was my treat when I was a kid, because for most of my childhood if I wanted water I had to buy it, and if I was spending money I wasn't wasting it on water In my 20s, I specifically drank Mountain Dew in lieu of coffee. ( I also drank and smoked heavily, and would guzzle a 2 liter Sunday mornings like it wasnt no thing). Energy drinks became a thing and I quit drinking Mountain Dew and then I switched to diet soda, which (unbeknownst to me) has a fuckload more caffeine then regular soda. At one point I was cranking through a 12 pack of Diet Coke a day, wondering why I couldn't sleep and felt like absolute death. When I quit drinking alcohol my soda consumption went into overdrive. I was drinking multiple 64ozs of Diet Dr Pepper a day. As you can imagine thats incredibly unhealthy and I felt like absolute and total dogshit all the time. After an agonizing ER visit and an official diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, I started reeling in the soda. But its loving hard because soda is literally everywhere and everyone drinks it.

Eventually switching to kombucha helped calm my soda addiction, and these days I average a 2-3 sodas a quarter. I drink half-caf coffee in the morning, and then either water or unsweetened decaf iced tea. I can taste the chemicals in Diet Coke now

Oh wow, thanks for sharing this. I drink soda like a fuckin maniac but truthfully I don't want to. It costs money, I don't really enjoy it, it just sates my thirst kinda and quells the urge. I find what you had to say really inspiring.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 21:52

Zero VGS: Aug 16, 2002; ASK ME ABOUT HOW HUMAN LIVES THAT MADE VIDEO GAME CONTROLLERS ARE WORTH MORE; Lipstick Apathy

credburn posted:

carbinated

# ? Nov 26, 2023 22:40

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

short-barrel rifled bubbles

# ? Nov 26, 2023 22:42

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

credburn posted:

Oh wow, thanks for sharing this. I drink soda like a fuckin maniac but truthfully I don't want to. It costs money, I don't really enjoy it, it just sates my thirst kinda and quells the urge. I find what you had to say really inspiring.

Yeah thats where I was at with soda for years and years - i didnt enjoy it, but I felt compelled to drink it, even though a 20oz would gently caress up my stomach later that night.

maybeadracula posted:

"Chemicals" is just such a dumb scare word

sure, but how else would you describe the sickly sweet / bitter salt of Diet Coke? poo poo tastes like battery acid

# ? Nov 26, 2023 22:42

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

Vampire Panties posted:

sure, but how else would you describe the sickly sweet / bitter salt of Diet Coke? poo poo tastes like battery acid

"aspartame" because thats what aspartame tastes like

# ? Nov 26, 2023 22:42

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

I drink tea and squash at home, coffee/tea and water at the office. sodas rarely, alcohol once a week or so or socially.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 22:52

dreezy: Mar 4, 2015; yeah, rip.

thoughts on diet mtn dew baja blast? thoughts on coke zero? thoughts on loving getting control of your life and not pissing sunny d?

# ? Nov 26, 2023 22:53

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# ? May 12, 2024 08:15

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

I drink tons of water but my pee is still red. Don't listen to the haters op. My doctor said it's normal, even if my urethra burns every time I evacuate.

# ? Nov 26, 2023 22:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I definitely have drank more than 25,550 cans of diet soda in my life

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