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 Picture if you will, the quiet, still peace of a chill, clear winter's night here near the North Pole. Picture if you can, the Workshop Complex, deserted of the vast majority of its elven workforce, whose holidays are now in full swing. Picture if you may, those few souls whose toil is not yet complete: Picture, if you must, Jingleterry the Christmas elf, with the responsibility of getting everything ready for the Big Man's journey delivering presents to all the children. This is your fifth year in this role, having dealt with petitioners, a ghost, Jeffery Bezos, and the aftermath of your own drunken antics. And, it's fair to say, you're getting the hang of it. The sleigh is all packed and polished and ready; in the kitchen simmers a big pot of ham, leek and potato soup. Until you're due to wake the Big Man in two hours, your time is your own. And so: picture yourself, Jingleterry, sitting at your computer on your desk in the administrative office bit of the North Pole Workshop Complex, staring at the post-it note you found there this morning. It's taken you fifteen minutes, but you've finally deciphered it: YOU OWE ME 1 ICHOR. The line below that is impenetrable, but is presumably the signature of Dr. Button, the Complex's doctor, currently in New Zealand on assignment. The office clock behind you strikes the hour. There's four hours left to get everything ready for Christmas. Looks like you'll have to Do It You ----- Welcome back to Do It You Elf! A Christmassy CYOA about being an elf, getting the Sleigh and the Big Man (there's a superstition against saying the S**** C**** name before He's ready.) prepared for the Big Day. You have four hours, i.e. 24 10-minute increments.  For every post, please post what you'd like our character to spend the next 10 minutes doing, as well as your guess as to what's behind tomorrow's Advent Calendar door. The correct guess will have their choice of action happen. If there are no correct guesses, I'll pick an action at random, and something bad might happen. The current high score is year three, with fourteen correct guesses. The current low score is year four, with two correct guesses. If more than one person guesses the same calendar item, I go with the first person's chosen action. Guesses have to be reasonably specific, no more just saying "plant" or "animal" or "quadruped". My decision is final. Have fun!
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Dec 1, 2023 01:03
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| # ? May 19, 2024 00:12 |
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A bird. Hum the traditional Jingleterry holiday song you just made up while tossing the post-it note in the trash.
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Dec 1, 2023 01:11
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A snowman! (or woman) Sigh and look up in the Deer Doctor's Dictionary what 1 I C H O R is actually defined as in this century - unit size, viscosity grade, consistency, all that jazz. Then slap your forehead and remember that Dr. Button is old enough that he probably goes by the OLD definition, and go fetch the Cervid Sage's Compendium. Way to go, you elf! Ah well, at least you didn't make that mistake... twice. ... wait, he didn't mean a choir, did he? No, no... why would the good Doc need a choir? Gotta be I C H O R.
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Dec 1, 2023 01:19
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A four-legged herbivorous mammal larger than a dog, if that's reasonably specific enough. Need to get a feel for this one, see if they favour deer or dromedaries. Send the doc an Ichor.
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Dec 1, 2023 02:20
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An ornament Did he mean 1 chair? That sounds more like what he wanted. Call the workshop to get them to build a new chair for the wannabe Hobbit doc
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Dec 1, 2023 04:01
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A Candy Cane Bake some bread to go with the soup.
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Dec 1, 2023 04:27
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A "small woodland mammal" such as squirrel, chipmunk, or hare ~~ Make soup service for another two suppers and dust off the new teleporter oven's instruction manual. Soup is Ichor, right?
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Dec 1, 2023 07:06
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A Bell Pull up a list of living Dragons and peruse, favouring those with a last known location nearest to the North Pole.
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Dec 1, 2023 15:58
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 Image is of a hedgehog. I'll give this one to Lux Anima, though "small woodland mammal" and then listing three different guesses is testing the limits of my tolerances. Current score: 1-0. Make two bowls of soup and investigate teleporter oven action chosen. You head to the kitchen, where the smell of ham, leek and potato soup pervades the room, and it is smelling pretty heckin' good. You decide that the mark of a good cook is being able to sample the wares he's creating, so you grab two bowls and ladle out two portions of the warming meal. You pop them on a nearby table, and soon add two small plates and bread rolls, and the butter dish. The meal for two is ready! You notice the phamplet someone's left on the table, some idle reading material to help pass the time. It's the instruction manual for a Teleporter Oven, one of the latest R&D boondoggles. You're not a fan of teleporter tech at the best of times; if 'they' ever got it working properly, presents could be delivered instantly, and there'd be no need for the Big Man, the reindeer, or assistant elves. The fact that someone thought to combine that with making whatever's travelling be twice as hot as boiling water, is a concept that really boggles your Three hours, fifty minutes remain.
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Dec 1, 2023 23:01
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A snowperson. Eat your nice meal and update your Jinglr page, got to keep your readers updated!
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Dec 1, 2023 23:11
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Middling (larger than a hedgehog, smaller than a deer) sized woodland creature. Watch some Christmas with the Krampus. Still a bit salty over their betrayal back when, but they are a pretty good actor.
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Dec 1, 2023 23:25
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Fox Call the stables to make sure the reindeer are being prepped properly
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Dec 1, 2023 23:47
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A Candy Cane Exercise. I bet the sleigh would make a sweet free weight... That is a terrifying looking hedgehog.
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Dec 2, 2023 00:11
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A Bird~!  Radio the stables for a status update, maybe deliver some soup? Un-Krampusing some muscles, here...
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Dec 2, 2023 01:20
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A bunny. Call the stables and tell Rudelf he can snag himself a bit of soup if he's quick. Ask him if he knows what 1 Ichor is and why Dr. Button thinks you - or someone - owes it to him.
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Dec 2, 2023 01:30
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An animal acting in an anthropic manner such as standing upright on its hind legs Check our Ichor reserves and fix the good Doctor up with a unit.
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Dec 2, 2023 01:57
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A reindeer Inform Rudelf that there's a cool calendar image of one of his charges
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Dec 2, 2023 05:24
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Bear Set the oven dials to random points and activate it fifteen times
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Dec 2, 2023 05:50
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 Image is of a robin. Lux Anima is close enough again. Current score: 2-0. Call the stables and deliver soup action chosen. "You pick up the kitchen phone and dial the number for the stables. After a few seconds, Rudelf the Stablemaster picks up. "Aaaahoy-hoy?" "Hey, Rudelf. D'you fancy some of this soup I've made?" "Helllll yeah, Jay-Tee, I'm alllways down for some of yourrr grub. See ya soon!" He hangs up. You put the two meals onto a service tray and carry them all the way to the stables. Rudelf meets you at his desk, drying his hands on a towel. You set a bowl in front of him and he grabs a spoon and starts eating. You do the same with the other bowl. It tastes excellent, and you see a wide grin spread across Rudelf's face. He nods in satisfaction. "This tastes great, Jay-Tee. Thannnks for the grub. So, what are you up to tonight?" "Got a post-it note on my desk, I need a jar of ichor." "Ichor?" Rudelf says through a mouthful of bread. "Simple enough, swipe some from Medbayyyy." "Nah, Button's the one chasing me for it. Used his last jar last year on that kidney device for our petitioner. He's actually doing a follow-up check in NZ now." Rudelf stops eating, and points at you with his spoon. "Waaaaait. He's in New Zealand?" You frown at his question. "...Yeah? Like, three days ago?" "And your note, you only got todayyy?" That is odd, you think to yourself. "Hmm. I mean, he's the only elf I owe a jar of ichor to. Who else would have wrote it?" Rudelf just shrugs as he puts his empty dishes back on your tray. "Not meee. Thanks again, Jay-Tee. I gotta get back to massssaging Blitzen's thighs. And as for your ichor problem," he shrugs again, "you tried the internet?" Three hours, forty minutes remain.
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Dec 2, 2023 22:40
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Fox "Try the Internet"
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Dec 2, 2023 22:45
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A squirrel. Go chat up Caltime and ask if she has any ichor. You never know, the librarian might have some.
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Dec 2, 2023 22:48
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Something with four legs standing upright on two of them Fix the ichor request through the internet.
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Dec 2, 2023 23:48
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Light Source If there's any wifi/cell signal out here, check the internet on your smartphone for ICHOR connections, otherwise back towards the house we go, for further Internet Info~
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Dec 3, 2023 00:49
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A bunny. Try.
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Dec 3, 2023 02:13
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A dog Try the internet, but grumpily
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Dec 3, 2023 04:56
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 Image is of a mouse. No correct guesses. Current score: 2-1. Randomly determining action: 1d6 3 AJ_Impy's Fix the ichor request through the internet action chosen. Dropping off the empty plates at the kitchen, you make your way back to your desk and search the internet for ichor. "The fluid that flows like blood in the veins of the gods" is the first definition, from Greek mythology. You pause for a moment. Are the Greek gods real? Were they ever? I mean, the Big Man is, but even so... Where would you even find one, let alone bleed them, in the few hours you have left? Where does Dr. Button usually get this stuff from? you think. You search the internal mail server, but find no mentions of the stuff anywhere. Which is odd too, isn't it? This stuff fuels the organ printers that the Med team use, there should be a paper trail, a Purchase Order request, something... You search Amazon. Name of a book series, name of a couple albums, a lot of songs and self-published books, even some cards from some colourful card game. Right at the bottom of page 7, you see something; a glass jar of a softly glowing yellow liquid, thick as blood, on a white background. ICHOR. Lotion. Only 1 in stock! $99,999.99. You let out a low whistle. That's a lot of money. Your mouse pointer hovers over the "Buy Now" button. Click. Three hours, thirty minutes remain.
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Dec 4, 2023 00:53
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A cat. See what's happening on your Elfcord server while you're on the internet, procrastinate a bit.
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Dec 4, 2023 01:14
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A Candy Cane Paint all the reindeer noses red. If one red nose is good...
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Dec 4, 2023 01:45
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Rabbit Call our buddy Finelf over in accounting to request some... Creativity in the books to cover the ichor purchase. He knows why he owes a favor...
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Dec 4, 2023 02:08
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A Squirrel >> Review list of God-Tier items on deck for staff use in Santa's operations, for general dimensional threats, malevolent re-gfting incursion loops, etc. We're looking specifically for the Holy Pie-Slicer, used for divvying out power
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Dec 4, 2023 02:44
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A Bird Reminisce about the last five years with friends
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Dec 4, 2023 03:40
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 Image is of a fox. No correct guesses (today). Current score: 2-2. Randomly determining action: 1d5 5 AJ_Impy's Reminisce about the last five years with friends action chosen. Okay, you think to yourself, you've just made a $100k purchase. On your personal account, no less. You might have to fix that hole in your banking by the morning. For now, though, your expedited shipping should see you get your ichor in about an hour or so. You sit back and think. Is this the worst thing you've done? By some measure, certainly not. This hurts no-one, unlike spiking the Big Man's chilli, biting the Big Man, firing off forty-eight anti-air missiles at nothing, or even swiping a jar of ichor from Medical. Still, you have your friends Rudelf and Caltime. You're sure they'll help you with whatever you need (though $33,333 dollars each? Doubt that'll happen). And there's always the Big Man himself; he has a bottomless sack of presents, maybe his pockets will also be rather bottomless? Much to think about. Three hours, twenty minutes remain.
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Dec 5, 2023 01:11
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A rabbit. Hack into Amazon and divert some of that moolah they get into your account. It's time to activate your yet unmentioned super elite elf hacking skills.
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Dec 5, 2023 01:19
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Deer See if The Big Man has moved the key to his giant pool of gold safe/room he likes to invite the billionaire good* boys and girls to *Yet to find one, but maybe someday....
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Dec 5, 2023 01:31
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A Squirrel Check in on the tour groups; usually there's somebody dropping in around now on a varyingly-magical journey to see the big man for some christmas spirit before he goes. ...also maybe their handlers have some cocoa to mooch, they always get the good stuff
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Dec 5, 2023 01:47
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Bird Follow the money, see whose elaborate scheme this is.
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Dec 5, 2023 02:02
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A Candy Cane Paint all the reindeer noses red. If one red nose is good... Can I guess a red animal? 3 out of the last 4 pictures have been red...
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Dec 5, 2023 03:16
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A mouse. Contact the Viscount of Candyland. They might have some extra sugar in the bank during this season.
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Dec 5, 2023 06:51
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Raccoon. Panic over the all too belated realization you've gotten scammed so bad. Then resolve to use your heretofore unrevealed elf-l33t hacking skills* to track down the person behind the scam. They must've gotten that picture of Ichor from somewhere else on the web - but where? *(i.e. check the Big Man's List of Naughty Deeds & Home Addresses)
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Dec 5, 2023 22:24
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 Image is of a rabbit, atop a stump. BraveLittleToaster bags a bunny. Current score: 3-2. Hack into Amazon and divert some of that moolah they get into your account action chosen. You need money. And there's no better place to get it from than the place you last put it, i.e., Amazon's servers. You reach into your desk drawers and pull out your mirrorshades and hacking fingerless gloves. You crack your knuckles and get to work. You jack into your Rigger 'deck and you're properly on-line. Cyberspace shimmers in front of your eyes, all wire-frame renders and vector shapes glittering along what remains of the information super-highway. You take a centi-beat, let the sensations of this truly real world flow over your body. And you're off. You easily follow your own rube-level connection you used minutes ago to simply "buy" a "thing" from a "website". The trail's lit up like a beacon, the only saving grace being the billions of others out there. Security through obscurity. But, it's easy when you already hold one end of the thread, and through the labyrinth of the 'net you travel. And just like that, Amazon's server stands before you, a vision of amber lines and Brutalist shapes. You sigh and unsheathe your data-katana. Padlocks, security programs, daemons, firewalls, actual walls: all fall to a polished blade and one who knows how to truly wield it. Now. A big transfer of funds out of Amazon? That'll be noticed. But, even now, people (just like you!) are still spending money at an absurd rate, hoping that a print-out of a receipt will be enough for the giftee to unwrap and be satisfied with. And it's on these suckers that you'll prey. Deftly dodging the cyberspace countermeasures and ICE you deploy a worm that jacks up the price of every transaction by a cent, sending it to Barbados, then Switzerland, then to you. The ol' Office Space. It worked in the film (didn't it?), it'll work here. You even set an expiry time: once the total transferred reaches, oooh, let's say, $250k, the worm will delete and there'll be no trace of the crime committed here tonight. Actually, make it $300k. code:
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Dec 6, 2023 01:59
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