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I remember being a little boy snuggled in my bed, listening to that jolly old elf clomp around on the precariously icy roof like it was no big deal. I believed in magic. But now that I’m an adult all I can think about is Santa slipping and falling twenty feet to the frozen ground below, shattering his legs and arms and receiving terrible organ lacerations. And then I think that someone would hear the commotion and, believing Santa was a burglar, call the cops. When they arrived, all the white parts of Santa’s suit would be soaked through with blood from his gruesome open fractures, and his beard would be blackened from the arterial blood he’s been vomiting up, and the cops would think Saint Nick was actually a common criminal and start savagely beating and tasing him until he was dead, and then those bastards would stuff his shattered corpse in a storm sewer and go home to beat their wives. I wish I believed in magic again. So…when did you realize your inner child was dead?
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Dec 3, 2023 01:09
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| # ? May 12, 2024 23:18 |
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I'd rather not say, OP, but rest assured it died.
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Dec 3, 2023 01:09
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I was reading the thread about silly penis names. I think that just about did it.
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Dec 3, 2023 01:10
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Grey Cat posted:I'd rather not say, OP, but rest assured it died. Speaking of cats, I remember being 6-7 and listening in rapt attention to my grandfather telling me how he would pile every kitten the barn cat had into a sack and toss it into the creek behind the house because shooting kittens was a waste of shells and cutting all their throats made too much mess. He was a pretty good guy too.
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Dec 3, 2023 01:19
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I'll just see myself out.
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Dec 3, 2023 02:07
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The time I accidentally said the S-E-X word and permanently stained my soul.
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Dec 3, 2023 02:07
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I remember that moment suddenly when playing with my GI Joes was not cool or fun...
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Dec 3, 2023 02:42
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkSMSbFV_q0
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Dec 3, 2023 02:48
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Middle school is a new chapter in my life. I can be myself like I was encouraged to in elementary school!
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Dec 3, 2023 02:52
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My Mom mended these pants, she swore by them! The pants dissolving way out on the kickball field, running through the entire school in my underpants...
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Dec 3, 2023 02:55
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I had lunch with my mother the other day. She ordered charro beans and asked my husband if we ever made pinto beans. No? "I used to have the maid make them for Three Olives." That was the start and finish to that topic. Fun times with my mother. edit: Oh, 5th grade, I went to school with the grandchild of a billionaire. Apparently there was a kidnapping plot so we had a nice 5th grade chat about why we had several people with guns around us in class all day because someone wanted to hurt our friend. Three Olives fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Dec 3, 2023 |
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Dec 3, 2023 03:08
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redshirt posted:I remember that moment suddenly when playing with my GI Joes was not cool or fun... I was eight years old when some horrible teenagers surrounded me under the monkey bars where I’d made my GI Joe battle arena and pulled all my GI Joes apart. I tried to fight them, but each of them beat me terribly, one by one. My vision wasn’t working so well after that, but it turned out I didn’t need to watch them ruin my life; the biggest one told me exactly how he had made a cuckold of my father. I had only the disembodied limbs of Rock n’ Roll to soothe me. It was no use at all.
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Dec 3, 2023 03:10
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Henry Lee Mucus posted:I remember being a little boy snuggled in my bed, listening to that jolly old elf clomp around on the precariously icy roof like it was no big deal. I believed in magic. But now that I’m an adult all I can think about is Santa slipping and falling twenty feet to the frozen ground below, shattering his legs and arms and receiving terrible organ lacerations. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueVPUsyrT0s
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Dec 3, 2023 04:54
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Dec 3, 2023 05:50
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gets in fight with younger sibling "You're older, you should know better." fast forward several years to when younger sibling is that age, get in another fight "You're older, you should know better."
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Dec 3, 2023 07:09
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When I was able to open a stuck jar of pickles without an adult's help.
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Dec 4, 2023 04:56
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Nyan Bread posted:When I was able to open a stuck jar of pickles without an adult's help. This reminded me. I had a roommate, she was the tiniest lady, maybe 4'. I come out to the common area and she's absolutely cranking on this jar in the kitchen. She looks at me and asks if I wanted to try. I grabbed it and it was probably one of the easiest pickle jars I'd ever opened but I didn't tell her that. I just told she did a good job loosening it.
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Dec 4, 2023 05:02
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Im posting from the inside of a trashcan after being bullied and losing my childhood innocence
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Dec 4, 2023 05:03
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Grey Cat posted:This reminded me. alpha grey cat, she is definitely not a cartoon
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Dec 4, 2023 05:06
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:alpha grey cat, she is definitely not a cartoon Definitely not a cartoon, I come equipped with realfeel 3d haptic feedback and Dolby 7.1 surround sound. Beep boop.
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Dec 4, 2023 05:12
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Grey Cat posted:Definitely not a cartoon, I come equipped with realfeel 3d haptic feedback and Dolby 7.1 surround sound. Beep boop. remember that time Grey Cat shot that that guy in the dick?
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Dec 4, 2023 05:19
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pff. my old man didn't ever entertain Santa Claus as a real person. Christmas was when we'd be sat down while he read the New Testament, and then we'd get to open presents after the whole thing had been read through. I'm kind of glad later on it became obvious he was a lovely Christian who bought into garbage libertarian/rich douche ideology; maintaining the brand of innocence he'd cultivated would've left me a worse person and without the means to accept myself for myself or think through reforming my belief system to recognize, live in, and accept the good parts of the world I actually inhabit instead of hear only bullshit designed to push an awful worldview. it might have been nice to have the harmless version of innocence you got, but I didn't get that choice.
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Dec 4, 2023 05:46
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my childhood was buried under gigs of fox Maid Marian porn and it's still there, fuckin lovin it
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Dec 4, 2023 06:02
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It's the mid 90s! You know the older neighbor kid I've never met? He has his own computer? That's wild! What does he do with it? The internet? I've heard of it! What is that lady doing with that traffic cone? I'm very confused! innocence.jpg, right-click, move to recycle bin
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Dec 4, 2023 06:05
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Songbearer posted:my childhood was buried under gigs of fox Maid Marian porn and it's still there, fuckin lovin it 
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Dec 4, 2023 06:12
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Songbearer posted:my childhood was buried under gigs of fox Maid Marian porn and it's still there, fuckin lovin it same op only robin hood like a good and correct child of the 90s
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Dec 4, 2023 06:16
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Robin Hood: Prince Of My Heart
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Dec 4, 2023 06:22
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My childhood nnocence is still in its prime!
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Dec 4, 2023 06:29
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Nyan Bread posted:When I was able to open a stuck jar of pickles without an adult's help. That’s a good one. Mine is when I was heavy enough to lower the computer chair with my own weight 
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Dec 4, 2023 06:30
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Canine Blues Arooo posted:same op only robin hood like a good and correct child of the 90s Kevin Costner or Cary Elwes?
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Dec 4, 2023 06:37
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Henry Lee Mucus posted:I wish I believed in magic again. Silly Mucus. Santa IS magic, whether you believe in it or not. He'd drift down to the ground on a cloud of snowflakes, and neither a fall nor evil police could harm a hair on his head. Because he's magic.
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Dec 4, 2023 06:45
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One time I saw a w33d and now I kill my parents every day ):
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Dec 4, 2023 07:05
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Edit: over sharing
Busters fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Dec 5, 2023 |
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Dec 4, 2023 07:35
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Private Cumshoe posted:Kevin Costner or Cary Elwes? costner, who is an absolute dream in PoT... but also the fox  .
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Dec 4, 2023 08:12
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Dec 4, 2023 08:15
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There's really not a single moment I can point to. Just a long progression of coming to understand the world in a more realistic and nuanced fashion. It's something I value and I can only hope the process continues, and I feel like the only real tragedy would be to never experience it. But that's just me I guess. Hope you can get yourself psyched up to watch Duck Tales or some poo poo, OP.
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Dec 4, 2023 08:41
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lol everyone here is 40+
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Dec 4, 2023 09:10
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I remember a time when Hulk Hogan was my hero. I said my prayers, ate my vitamins, all that poo poo. So what if my rancid alcoholic father mocked me mercilessly for watching huge muscly men rub themselves on each other, grunting and emoting under the hot stage lights. So what if he held me down and smeared my mother’s makeup on my face and make me wear a dress when I watched the Hulkster? Didn’t bother me a bit. It was only when he learned to emulate the moves I so loved when savagely beating my mother that Hulk could no longer save me. I screamed when he sent my mother careening into the dishwasher and give her the big boot when she bounced off. He rushed toward me, tearing his shirt apart and twirling his hand by his ear, listening for the roar of the crowd that he would never hear - just my pained whimpers - but that seemed more than enough for him. Just then one of his drinking buddies burst in carrying a 2x4 and an American flag. Hooooooooooooo, he bellowed. I still hear that sound. It has never left me.
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Dec 4, 2023 17:33
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When I was ten - 1994, the year of the fabled Republican Revolution (tm, all rights reserved) - a friend of mine wanted to pretend that we were "Republican superheroes". I had no idea who a 'Republican' was and had to ask if our family were Republicans (we were not). I miss that level of disconnection from political horseshit. NoiseAnnoys posted:lol everyone here is 40+ Not yet! I still have a few months of thirtysomething left 
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Dec 4, 2023 18:01
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| # ? May 12, 2024 23:18 |
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I don't remember ever having any childhood innocence. I must have seen a holocaust documentary or something.
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Dec 4, 2023 18:08
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