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This is a space for discussing pointless robots, robots that look like they came from fever dreams, robots that make no sense, robots that are just regular things given intelligence in a casual act of pointless cruelty, robots that accidentally embody other horror genres, etc. Robots like the NR-1100 Slicer Droid (Star Wars).  It's a hacker robot with hands in a universe where nobody has a keyboard and all the other robots and computers talk through some combination of tumbler lock and USB port. It also has no vocabulator so it can't even say "I'm in" while cracking it's superfluous knuckles. Or the SCM-22 Stenographer Droid (also Star Wars)  A voice recorder that can walk around and think for some reason. I wonder if they do this with all office supplies, like you open a desk drawer and it's full of staplers skittering around. It's only 8 cm tall so I assume it kind of just lives on top of your desk, why does it need to move around at all?
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Dec 30, 2023 19:29
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| # ? May 8, 2024 16:33 |
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Binary load lifters (the things C-3PO used to work with) are like fork lifts that refuse to speak whatever language you do, which is pretty much the same as the summer I spent driving a forklift.  I don't know for sure that binary load lifters are bad at that job but I definitely was.
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Dec 31, 2023 00:09
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Norby the Robot. Making a child like robot that can secretly time travel was a mistake.
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Jan 2, 2024 00:10
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Gonk!
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Jan 3, 2024 03:52
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These things: You might be thinking "hey, that doesn't look like a robot at all", and you'd be right. But these Star Trek-rear end energy beings have been masquerading as robots for decades. See, these creatures hail from another dimension, and were originally brought into the physical realm eons ago when the "Lord of the Light Gods" crossed over in order to do battle with his Dark God counterpart, since existing in phyiscal form would weaken them both enough for the Dark God to be defeated. Once in the physical realm, the Light God used the last of his power to bind himself and his evil counterpart within asteroid prisons so that their battle wouldn't spread any further. As time passed, the Light God's asteroid began to accumulate mass, and eventually grew to become planet-sized. While this was happening, some of the Light God's interdimensional energy would leak through to the physical world, bubbling up to the surface of the new planet as discrete instances of energy-being consciousness, called "Sparks". Since these Sparks were quite helpless in the physical dimension, they eventually found a way to create exo-skeletal bodies that they could ride around in, and help them to manipulate the physical world around them. And thus, the Sparks were able to build up their asteroid/planet home into a new world named Cybertron. The Sparks then began calling themselves Cybertronians, but the rest of the galaxy would just know them as... Transformers. Yeah - these so-called "Robots in Disguise'' aren't actually robots at all. They're just interdimensional masses of charged positrons that ride around in mech suits. The amount of intergalactic war crimes that these things have avoided punishment for by pretending to be simple, non-sentient, unprosecutable robots must be enormous. Robot Style fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Jan 3, 2024 |
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Jan 3, 2024 18:56
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Razor Jacksuit posted:Gonk! 
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Jan 4, 2024 00:43
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pygmy tyrant posted:Or the SCM-22 Stenographer Droid (also Star Wars) Maybe it can drive itself to the secretarial pool, which is also probably all droids
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Jan 4, 2024 19:44
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Jan 6, 2024 23:09
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While Andromon is very cool, he does not seem like he is doing well
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Jan 7, 2024 00:32
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Sir DonkeyPunch posted:Maybe it can drive itself to the secretarial pool, which is also probably all droids As long as it gets on and off the desk with the help of a tiny elevator that is also inexplicably a droid, I'd accept this. Edgar Allen Ho posted:While Andromon is very cool, he does not seem like he is doing well having a bunch of loose cables for hair seems like they could have a lot of fun with one of those big modular synths pygmy tyrant fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Jan 7, 2024 |
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Jan 7, 2024 00:36
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Why would you not post optimus, the dancing robot with human level hands???
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Jan 7, 2024 00:45
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pygmy tyrant posted:Why would you not post optimus, the dancing robot with human level hands??? This one kills the passengers as well as pedestrians! Or at least the other models do. Not sure if you heard but Tesla is an AI and robotics company according to Musk.
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Jan 7, 2024 01:08
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did somebody say bad robots??
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Jan 7, 2024 01:16
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Did somebody?
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Jan 24, 2024 18:37
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Jan 24, 2024 19:27
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Is that yellow dude to Bad Robot's left somebody? I could swear its "eyes" look familiar.
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Jan 25, 2024 01:18
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 The "Juggernaut" It's basically the mecha equivalent of the many, many attempts by Nazi Germany to build a cheap fighter aircraft that is remotely useful and not a total deathtrap, which generally failed horribly on the last front. In this case it's supposed to oppose the unending tide of enemy murderbots. It's not SUPPOSED to be piloted but their attempts to build an AI were a total flop so there's an untermenschen child slave soldier crammed in there. They have something like a 99% one-year loss rate. It has a worse gun, armor, and engine than its much more numerous enemy. If you're wondering why the untermenschen don't immediately try to shoot their bosses, it's mostly a combination of a big minefield and their bosses controlling their only supply of ammo and food. From the light novel/anime Eighty Six.
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Jan 25, 2024 03:32
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 Marvin the Paranoid Android from the BBC series.
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Jan 27, 2024 02:53
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Mister Kingdom posted:
We want bad robots not sad robots.
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Jan 27, 2024 04:56
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he's pretty weird, to be fair
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Jan 27, 2024 10:31
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Hector from Saturn 3 is a pretty weird robot He's got an absolutely enormous, hulking, 8ft body  But only a tiny wee head  He's also got an enormous brain, which you can see here being loaded into his body by another weird robot  ...but unfortunately Hector learns everything via a direct brain-to-brain link with his trainer, a homicidal and catastrophically horny dropout.  He also can't talk. Or won't.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:25
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Love the chrome six pack but uh where does that brain tube go
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Feb 24, 2024 14:11
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If it has organic parts, ESPECIALLY a brain, it's not a robot it's a cyborg.
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Feb 27, 2024 17:46
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DrBouvenstein posted:If it has organic parts, ESPECIALLY a brain, it's not a robot it's a cyborg. well, that's why it's a bad robot almost a robot, didn't quite pull it off, better luck next time my metallic man!
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Feb 27, 2024 20:31
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IN 40k Rogue Trader they had robuts They were weird and the models were not very good  And to use them in a game, you had to basically create a program using little counters that dictated what the robot would do in a situation. There's a reason Imperial Robots vanished until Admech came out as an army 20 years later.
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Feb 27, 2024 21:12
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The Ice Pirates has some real crap robots who take a beating:  And at one point the heroes run into this pimp bot: 
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Mar 10, 2024 05:57
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https://i.imgur.com/ncc19yd.mp4 Terry Nation does it again
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Mar 10, 2024 18:07
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We built it wrong on purpose,
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Mar 11, 2024 17:16
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Two Owls posted:https://i.imgur.com/ncc19yd.mp4 i mean tbf half the budget for that scene was probably just cracking open the can of film stock
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Mar 12, 2024 21:44
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weird, not bad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjX0TkL9RMM
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Mar 12, 2024 22:25
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twistedmentat posted:And to use them in a game, you had to basically create a program using little counters that dictated what the robot would do in a situation. There's a reason Imperial Robots vanished until Admech came out as an army 20 years later. You actually paid points for each counter, used them to make a flowchart for what the robot would do, and each turn you'd go through the flowchart to control the robot.. You had checks like 'pick nearest unit as target' 'pick next nearest target' 'is target an enemy' and 'is target in range', and actions like 'move towards objective' (which you'd designate beforehand), 'turn 45/90/135/180 degrees', and 'move forward' to move around, and things like 'fire weapon at target' and 'charge target' to fight. It cost points for every counter you used in the program, so you could save a lot of points by omitting the safety checks and just make a robot that constantly moves towards the nearest target while firing, but if you weren't careful and had one of your units become the nearest target, they'd happily give you a team kill. I remember seeing a game where someone did this, and the other guy used a psychic power to teleport the robot behind his lines so his guys would always be closest. Interesting setup, but not very practical, like a lot of Rogue Trader era rules.
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Mar 18, 2024 23:11
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HOW DID HE GET HEEERRRE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvh32fQ8nNI
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Mar 23, 2024 22:45
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The Cicada https://www.sarna.net/news/bad-mechs-cicada/   Can't torso twist properly, has a pathetic loadout that lighter mechs exceed, an enormous expensive engine that it wouldn't need if it was lighter. What a piece of poo poo. All it's good for is stripping out the engine to put in something better.
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Mar 24, 2024 01:06
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Pantaloon Pontiff posted:You actually paid points for each counter, used them to make a flowchart for what the robot would do, and each turn you'd go through the flowchart to control the robot.. You had checks like 'pick nearest unit as target' 'pick next nearest target' 'is target an enemy' and 'is target in range', and actions like 'move towards objective' (which you'd designate beforehand), 'turn 45/90/135/180 degrees', and 'move forward' to move around, and things like 'fire weapon at target' and 'charge target' to fight. It cost points for every counter you used in the program, so you could save a lot of points by omitting the safety checks and just make a robot that constantly moves towards the nearest target while firing, but if you weren't careful and had one of your units become the nearest target, they'd happily give you a team kill. I remember seeing a game where someone did this, and the other guy used a psychic power to teleport the robot behind his lines so his guys would always be closest. Thats even more cumbersome than I remember.
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Mar 24, 2024 19:31
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rogue trader era is like if every single bad idea me and my friends had ever come up with for 'awesome rpg mechanics' in secondary school were made into an actual game. i am still not sure if they intended that first version to be played, or if the satire inherent to that early warhammer also extended to the mechanics. like was it a satirical game, or a satire of a game?
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Mar 24, 2024 21:39
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Mobile Fighter G Gundam is a show in the Gundam universe where different nations build gundams (themed around their nations) for a fighting competition which range from cool to borderline offensive to definitely offensive. Here's the best one and most fitting for this thread: Coming from Neo Holland, I give you the Nether Gundam: The show has all the nations/Gundams go around for a year before the finals fighting to eliminate the competition. Nether Gundam (Hurricane Gundam in the English dub) takes the interesting strategy of having a mode where it just looks like a regular rear end windmill and hiding for the whole year, making it to the finals.  "But wait", you say, "surely this fantastic machine has other features!" My friends I give you FLIGHT MODE  Unfortunately the Nether Gundam does not fare very well once it makes it, losing the only two matches it's in, it's one signature attack (the windmill blows a big wind gust at the opponent) failing utterly. However, when a giant threat makes itself known at the end of the series we get to see that Neo Holland mass-produced these things.   I love this Gundam so goddamn much
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Mar 24, 2024 21:43
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juggalo baby coffin posted:rogue trader era is like if every single bad idea me and my friends had ever come up with for 'awesome rpg mechanics' in secondary school were made into an actual game. i am still not sure if they intended that first version to be played, or if the satire inherent to that early warhammer also extended to the mechanics. like was it a satirical game, or a satire of a game? I think they intended it to be played, but more like an RPG. The original rules expect a GM, and a lot of the play examples use a ton of ad-hoc enemies and events that really need an abjudicator, and with people who didn't mind crazy stuff happening like a virus grenade clearing 90% of the board on round 1. It wasn't until later that they added the idea of playing two equal point armies in a basically balanced battle in a competitive-ish environment, even though that's the only setup people think of for WH40K now.
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Mar 25, 2024 00:46
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if we're doing mechs, then there is only one who can be crowned king of the lovely robots Boss Borot, a robot built out of literal garbage and held together by gum and spit, piloted by an absolute dingus meathead.     Blitzway hosed up with their expensive figure of him by making him actually look kinda cool he is a recurring robot from the Mazinger Z series, and routinely shows up in Super Robot Wars games with a wide variety of absurd attacks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VhGEgZFYCE if we're doing actual bad in a not-appealing way robots though, I have to give it up for the absolutely atrocious movie, Robot Wars, which is incorrectly often referred to as a sequel to Robot Jox, but is anything but. it manages to take the concept of a Battlemech-style scorpion robot and make it loving lame, nothing in this movie was fun. I was so excited to see a robot man fighting a robot scorpion and it was just a wet fart all around    this could've been cool! but it wasn't!!!!
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Mar 25, 2024 03:41
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Pantaloon Pontiff posted:I think they intended it to be played, but more like an RPG. The original rules expect a GM, and a lot of the play examples use a ton of ad-hoc enemies and events that really need an abjudicator, and with people who didn't mind crazy stuff happening like a virus grenade clearing 90% of the board on round 1. It wasn't until later that they added the idea of playing two equal point armies in a basically balanced battle in a competitive-ish environment, even though that's the only setup people think of for WH40K now. Yea, its weird, because GW had that game in WFB at that time, so I dunno know why they made 40k like that. Its pretty obvious they realized their mistake quickly because white dwarfs had new rules for armies and how the game was to be played that was way more playable. Sadly, the robots didn't make it into the later edition.
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Mar 25, 2024 04:48
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| # ? May 8, 2024 16:33 |
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Captain Invictus posted:if we're doing actual bad in a not-appealing way robots though, I have to give it up for the absolutely atrocious movie, Robot Wars, which is incorrectly often referred to as a sequel to Robot Jox, but is anything but. it manages to take the concept of a Battlemech-style scorpion robot and make it loving lame, nothing in this movie was fun. I was so excited to see a robot man fighting a robot scorpion and it was just a wet fart all around I tried to watch Robot Wars last week. Couldn’t make it through it, even though it’s only like 75 minutes long. The humans in it are dire.
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Mar 25, 2024 12:03
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