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Phobeste
Apr 9, 2006

never, like, count out Touchdown Tom, man
Honestly I think it was just being old and I think if he went to a relatively shovel ready team with the firing as a wake up call he’d pull it together for like two years before reverting to it and retiring that’s what I think the swan song would be. Like if he gets an “I’ll show em” chip on his shoulder and goes to let’s say the chargers and keeps their oc and takes over their defense, that’s absolutely a Super Bowl opportunity. But it’s definitely just as likely, or even more likely, that wherever he goes they treat him with kid gloves and let him bring in his guys and they’re just as mediocre overall

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Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT
Arthur Smith is a whiny rear end in a top hat and Dennis Allen is a bigger rear end in a top hat for apologizing to him and the Falcons.

In summary, Fire Dennis Allen.

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!
Dennis Allen is such a placeholder HC........

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

mcmagic posted:

Dennis Allen is such a placeholder HC........

And people say interim coaches never last.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

mcmagic posted:

Dennis Allen is such a placeholder HC........

Is there any NFL observer that thinks the combo of Dennis Allen and Derek Carr is ever going to win anything? Talk about two uninspiring choices.

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
Honestly, I just want to see Carr get a single coach who will be like "sling it deep all goddamn day if you want" and just see what happens. He's still mediocre but he's a much better QB than Allen is a head coach.

How the gently caress isn't he fired yet?

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Black Sunshine posted:

Honestly, I just want to see Carr get a single coach who will be like "sling it deep all goddamn day if you want" and just see what happens. He's still mediocre but he's a much better QB than Allen is a head coach.

How the gently caress isn't he fired yet?

He stole Loomis' copy of "Cap Cutting for Dummies" and carefully maintains control of it.

solarjetman
Jan 27, 2001

Fun Shoe

Kalli posted:

Yeah, even the patriots had 2

Look at this dogshit:

955 - Zeke 642 rushing yards, 3.5 YPC. 313 receiving yards on *65* targets
857 - Rhamondre Stevenson 619 rushing, 4.0 YPC. 238 receiving on 51 targets
602 - Demario Douglas: 41 rushing, 561 receiving on 78 targets
419 - Hunter Henry: 419 receiving on 61 targets
410 - Kendrick Bourne: 406 on 55 targets (in 8 games)
394 - DeVante Parker: 394 on 55 targets
260 - JuJu Smith-Schuster: 260 on 47 targets
244 - Mike Gesicki: 244 on 45 targets
208 - Pharoah Brown: 208 on 15 targets
155 - Jalen Reagor: 138 on 24 targets
142 - Tyquan Thornton: 51 rushing, 91 receiving on 23 targets

Oh, I wasn't counting combined yards. Javonte Williams managed around 1,000 combined. 774 rushing yards (3.6 ypc) and 228 receiving yards (on 58 targets - that's 3.9 yards per target). Very similar to Zeke.

Here is Jerry "drafted before Justin Jefferson" Jeudy's output in his 4 years with Denver. They picked up his 5th year option so if anyone is interested in paying him 12 million dollars next year, give George Paton a call. Why did they pick up his 5th year option? Why is Paton likely staying? I cannot answer these questions.

2020: 113 targets, 52 receptions, 856 yards, 3 TDs, 10 drops in 16 games
2021: 56 targets, 38 receptions, 467 yards, 0 TDs, 1 drop in 10 games
2022: 100 targets, 67 receptions, 972 yards, 6 TDs, 5 drops in 15 games
2023: 87 targets, 54 receptions, 758 yards, 2 TDs, 2 drops in 16 games

Rogue0071
Dec 8, 2009

Grey Hunter's next target.

solarjetman posted:

Oh, I wasn't counting combined yards. Javonte Williams managed around 1,000 combined. 774 rushing yards (3.6 ypc) and 228 receiving yards (on 58 targets - that's 3.9 yards per target). Very similar to Zeke.

Here is Jerry "drafted before Justin Jefferson" Jeudy's output in his 4 years with Denver. They picked up his 5th year option so if anyone is interested in paying him 12 million dollars next year, give George Paton a call. Why did they pick up his 5th year option? Why is Paton likely staying? I cannot answer these questions.

2020: 113 targets, 52 receptions, 856 yards, 3 TDs, 10 drops in 16 games
2021: 56 targets, 38 receptions, 467 yards, 0 TDs, 1 drop in 10 games
2022: 100 targets, 67 receptions, 972 yards, 6 TDs, 5 drops in 15 games
2023: 87 targets, 54 receptions, 758 yards, 2 TDs, 2 drops in 16 games

Pats media spent weeks last off-season lamenting that they weren't trading for Jeudy.

Nosre
Apr 16, 2002


In their defense, his 2022: 100 targets, 67 receptions, 972 yards, 6 TDs, 5 drops in 15 games

would have been a big upgrade to any of the Pats current output

MrMidnight
Aug 3, 2006

Black Sunshine posted:

Honestly, I just want to see Carr get a single coach who will be like "sling it deep all goddamn day if you want" and just see what happens. He's still mediocre but he's a much better QB than Allen is a head coach.

How the gently caress isn't he fired yet?

Allen should apologize to Smith for getting him fired. Seems like something he would do

Failson
Sep 2, 2018
Fun Shoe
Seattle going to stick with Carol and Geno until they both crumble to dust.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
Geno smith was not the issue this season, seattles defense was bad

Redeye Flight
Mar 26, 2010

God, I'm so tired. What the hell did I post last night?

Black Sunshine posted:

That's pretty dismal, goddamn. Even the 2023 poo poo-tastic Raiders offense had 3 guys with 800+

Justin Jefferson put together over 1000 despite missing literally half the season!

This Vikings year was chalked to hell by injuries and there's really no getting around that. The defense played WAY above its pay grade but I doubt that performance is repeatable, and I have concerns about KOC's playcalling through he also has pulled some truly miraculous feats this year. The Vikings defy any prediction I might ever attempt to make about next year.

Tulalip Tulips
Sep 1, 2013

The best apologies are crafted with love.
The Raiders got rid of McDaniels and came together after to beat the Chiefs in KC so at the end of the day I am satisfied. I would really like them to keep AP and look in to drafting a QB or at least look for someone other than Jimmy G if they want a vet and AoC but it's up Mark Davis and god now.

Oh and we need new WRs since I don't see Adams staying.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet

Bismack Billabongo posted:


What happens with vrabel and carthon? There were lots of rumors about vrabel wanting out. He has a year left on his deal and I strongly doubt he gets fired. I think the team absolutely needs to give it another year but if vrabel actually wants out (I doubt it but not as firm on that as I was a month ago), they should try and trade him. Hope it doesn’t come to that. If vrabel does stay I think the OC and DC are safe, both units were not good but they made chicken salad out of UDFAs on defense and the oline was so bad that you could have Kyle Shanahan and Sean mcvay coaching it together and it still wouldn’t matter. I think some of the position coaches are probably gone though.

Guess we answered that!

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


whatever the bears do will immediately blow up in their face

Nervous
Jan 25, 2005

Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.
Welcome Browns fans. You're back in familiar territory.

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT
What do I do with 200 boxes of Flaccomaniac T-shirts now

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Silly Burrito posted:

What do I do with 200 boxes of Flaccomaniac T-shirts now

Ukraine aid.

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Silly Burrito posted:

What do I do with 200 boxes of Flaccomaniac T-shirts now

I'll take one

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Nervous posted:

Welcome Browns fans. You're back in familiar territory.

Thanks for the ride Joe. It was fun while it lasted.




Get healthy Nick!

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
Touchback in this weather is pretty impressive. Had to feel like moving a brick.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
Have to wonder if the Browns best shot was this season. They’re basically obliged to go back to the nasty man next year. He certainly doesn’t elevate the team ceiling at all the way things stand. Lol. LMAO.

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
As I self medicate on Tequila and Bourbon I consider the Browns.

Thank Joe Flacco for a fun second half of the year and even getting us to the playoffs in the first place. Two pick 6s but beyond that we could not score enough to match the Texans who were the better team.

I do not think the Browns make the post season in 2024 as our Deshaun QB play is not sufficient and there will be some concerns around Nick Chubb's ability and dependent recovery. But gently caress Deshaun anyway.

I feel like the Browns window is closing, this was probably our best shot to go deep into the post season. If it were the Jags, we would have won, but couldn't beat the Texans.

I don't foresee free agents staying if they can find other homes. We have no high draft picks.

It will depend on our Defense sticking together, any incremental improvement, and Jim Schwartz staying who has been the main difference maker.

The Browns Brownsed and there is little to look forward to this offseason but hey, there's next year.

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Gatts posted:

As I self medicate on Tequila and Bourbon I consider the Browns.

Thank Joe Flacco for a fun second half of the year and even getting us to the playoffs in the first place. Two pick 6s but beyond that we could not score enough to match the Texans who were the better team.

I do not think the Browns make the post season in 2024 as our Deshaun QB play is not sufficient and there will be some concerns around Nick Chubb's ability and dependent recovery. But gently caress Deshaun anyway.

I feel like the Browns window is closing, this was probably our best shot to go deep into the post season. If it were the Jags, we would have won, but couldn't beat the Texans.

I don't foresee free agents staying if they can find other homes. We have no high draft picks.

It will depend on our Defense sticking together, any incremental improvement, and Jim Schwartz staying who has been the main difference maker.

The Browns Brownsed and there is little to look forward to this offseason but hey, there's next year.
We got ravaged by injury and still made into the dance for a championship.


We fell short but all is not lost, buck up.

epic bacon
Sep 19, 2022

so what even was this season for the Dolphins? you can blame the injuries i guess except the team never looked good against a formidable team regardless of injuries. Tua inexplicably escaped the season unscathed and lead the lead in passing yards but who cares? is anyone excited about giving this guy a big rear end contract? is McDaniel going to learn how to call a game? how do you have the #1 easiest strength of schedule in the AFC and lose a 3 game lead in the division in December/January?

all in all, pretty typical Dolphins season, script writers got lazy

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

Flikken posted:

We got ravaged by injury and still made into the dance for a championship.


We fell short but all is not lost, buck up.

Buck up is correct. We were pretty hard ravaged by injury this year. Let's hope we can stay healthy next year.

rjmccall
Sep 7, 2007

no worries friend
Fun Shoe
I have never come down so hard on a coach as I did after I started watching Mike McDaniels on Hard Knocks. Dude is completely out of his depth. Should’ve stayed an assistant to the OC.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

rjmccall posted:

I have never come down so hard on a coach as I did after I started watching Mike McDaniels on Hard Knocks. Dude is completely out of his depth. Should’ve stayed an assistant to the OC.

Dan Campbell would stuff his rear end in a locker

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
I hope Watson's knee explodes week 1 and the Browns bring in Fitzmagic for another fun run until they get beheaded in the playoffs again

Borsche69
May 8, 2014

Black Sunshine posted:

I hope Watson's knee explodes week 1 and the Browns bring in Fitzmagic for another fun run until they get beheaded in the playoffs again

two qb package with flacco and fitz where they both simultaneously throw interceptions on the same play somehow (multiball rule is in effect)

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

Black Sunshine posted:

I hope Watson's knee explodes week 1 and the Browns bring in Fitzmagic for another fun run until they get beheaded in the playoffs again

Which team do you support again?

Borsche69
May 8, 2014

Gatts posted:

Which team do you support again?

hes a raiders fan dude. its like you dont even read this forum!

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Gatts posted:

Which team do you support again?

Raiders but I always had the Browns as my #2 (born in NE Ohio) until they gave a serial rapist $250,000,000

The Lions took your spot in my heart because they're awesome and no longer employ rapists


Borsche69 posted:

two qb package with flacco and fitz where they both simultaneously throw interceptions on the same play somehow (multiball rule is in effect)

Someone get the script writers on this poo poo ASAP because it's perfect

Black Sunshine fucked around with this message at 05:48 on Jan 14, 2024

Simplex
Jun 29, 2003

The Broncos are in year number hell of blaming the quarterback and not really addressing any of the other elephants in the room. Through the last two seasons Russ has shown that he certainly isn't the answer, but cutting Russ doesn't really fix anything either. Welcome to hell.

The defense started the vseason an utter abomination and managed to improve to ordinary bad, and I guess we're all just going to go ahead and call that a success story.

Courtland Sutton is maybe the best in the league at making circus catches downfield. But, he doesn't get open enough, and drops too many balls to to be a true #1. We've had 4 years of Jeudy disappointing all season long, only to flash late and the season, and convince some suckers that maybe he'll carry it over to next year and really break out. Greg Dulcich is the latest to carry on the fine tradition of Broncos tight ends who are never healthy enough to expose how overrated they are. The running game might be serviceable, but let's be real here, nobody's going to try to lean on the running game to win football games. I mean sure they'll talk about how they have to do a better job having a balanced attack, but we all know washed up veteran is going to have 42 attempts next week.

I think my big trepidations with bringing in Sean Payton as a coach were that I wasn't sure why he quit on the first place, and why he wanted to come back now. The Broncos really don't have a lot of assets in the first place and trading one to get a coach seemed pretty foolish to me. And, finally while I think Payton is a good coach, most Super Bowl winning coach's next stop doesn't turn out too well, and there was an awful lot of 7-9 bullshit during his tenure in New Orleans. I wouldn't exactly say my fears were allayed by this season. The thing that Payton seems most excited about is running GM George Paton's prize acquisitions from last off-season out of town.

The337th
Mar 30, 2011


Gatts posted:

Which team do you support again?

One that didn't sell its soul for the worst QB signing of all time

I spent the first half of the season with a weird feeling of no regret after each Raiders loss, just because McDaniels was so obviously an rear end in a top hat who needed to go

Can't even imagine being able to actually root for success when an incredibly shittier human being has been made the face of the franchise, and that was done with total knowledge of just how bad he is

good on all these Browns fans that are just more, uh, dedicated than I must be as a fan

Anyways, can't wait to see if Mark Davis has learned anything from the last two coaching hires or not, it'd be cool to enter a new rebuild era that at least has a chance to go somewhere

Name Change
Oct 9, 2005


Bismack Billabongo posted:

Have to wonder if the Browns best shot was this season. They’re basically obliged to go back to the nasty man next year. He certainly doesn’t elevate the team ceiling at all the way things stand. Lol. LMAO.

Set up a sting operation on nasty man in order to void his contract and prevent crimes.

All my teams: Vikings, Raiders, and Seahawks missed the playoffs this year.

The Raiders have pretty much everything solved except QB. It's a talented set of receivers with a strong pass rush.

I did not enjoy KOC throwing a different backup QB under the bus at a press conference every week after Kirk went out. Injuries doomed this team and made clear they need Cousins there to be competitive. Kirk probably wouldn't have gotten Jefferson injured with a hospital pass.

The Seahawks basically let every offense run all over them, and rarely seemed to get a shootout going.

As far as where Bill Belichick will end up, after so many of his disciples washing out of HC jobs because their qualifications were "on the same team as Tom Brady," it's only poetry for Bill to do the same.

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

The337th posted:

Can't even imagine being able to actually root for success when an incredibly shittier human being has been made the face of the franchise, and that was done with total knowledge of just how bad he is

Yeah there's just no way that I could root for someone like that on my team. If we would've signed Watson I would've actively rooted against them not only until he was gone, but until the ownership group who brought him in, knowing the sex pest poo poo, was gone as well. I'd pack up all my poo poo, throw it in the attic and become a full blown fan of another team which, in that timeline would be the Browns so lol I guess.

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Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



I turned off the game when it was 14-0, but I think it's safe for dallas fans to post here now.

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