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Welcome to JINGLE BONES DUNGEON!!!! You are a FESTIVE SKELETON, and you are rattling in the new year!! Because most of you are dead and reanimated, you might've left your dementia ridden brain behind, but that's not important because THE HOLIDAYS DON'T STOP TILL YOU'RE DUST. Don't worry, we'll go over the rules real quick! First, the 5 mysterious skeleton stats. Backbones - BB - The measure of skeleton strength and bone density. Useful for shoving pianos off of verandas to crush humans below. Skeleton Swiftness - SS - The ability for a skeleton to play instruments or themselves as instruments, as well as move swiftly when giving a human the willies, Skeleton Charisma - SC - The most mysterious of skeleton stats! You will have between a d4 to d20 in each stat. Your quest is to SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER to humans by either 1. KILLING THEM 2. TICKLE THEIR RIBS 3. SCARE EM SPOOKY If you can gather 3 magic keys, you might find the secret passageway to skeleton love!! We'll need 4 BONERS (players) to get this party started. Please post your interest in becoming a skeleton and preferred stats.
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Jan 7, 2024 22:19
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CHARNEL RANCHER When humans are done with their pets, they throw away the best parts... what gives??? The Charnel Rancher's here to show them what they're missing: he hereby vows to form an unfuckwitable herd of man's ex best friends to march through the streets at night and rattle the meatbound straight out of their dreams. As things stand now, a proper herd is still in need of gathering, but the rancher, always a firm believer of avoiding waste, has recycled some partial remains from the back of the local ostrich farm to upgrade himself. With a neck like this, there can certainly be some proper bone jingling! All beginning stats left up to chance to reflect this boner-of-theseus having swapped scavenged parts.
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Jan 8, 2024 02:42
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1 is close enough to 4, so I'll just get typing and yet y'all bring your own adventure.RavenousScoot posted:CHARNEL RANCHER BB: d12 SS: d10 SC: d8 CHAPTER 1: ESCAPE FROM THE CANDY CANE CATACOMBS You wake up from your skeletal slumber, a feeling stirring in your bones. You need wassail, or some kind of wine to splash on your ribs. It has been too long since you've been to a rocking New Year's Eve party, but tonight might have just enough Christmas and Hannukah Magic to allow you to achieve your goals to the maximum tonight. A Gingerbread Golem addressed you from the candy cane bars blocking the way. "Ho ho ho, what do we have here. Such an ugly skeleton, good thing I have no bones for you to rattle. I'm going to drink some milk, you stay there and rot for all I care. Hohoha!!!" Jeeze what an rear end in a top hat. You are alone in your cell. That's a lie, there's a handsome skeleton with an unlit cigarette hanging out in the corner. He says, "Don't let 'em get to you. He can't understand the simple pleasures of skeleton life, and never will. Likely he will be taken down by a hoard of hungry humans who fell through a portal into this forever dungeon." There's also a big pile of snow in the center of the room. There's an opening above the ceiling that it's falling through. What do you do?
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Jan 10, 2024 04:01
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looking forward to seeing how this bones thread plays out
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Jan 10, 2024 15:18
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Charnel Rancher: Crane your cranelike neck, and the head attached to it, through the bars and survey ye jolly dungeon. Give the candy cane bars a small gnaw or two while you're at it. You'd rather give a lick, but you haven't reclaimed any working tongues of late. Then... do a Bugs Bunny dive into the snow pile like it's a rabbit hole. There's surely wonder at the bottom!
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Jan 11, 2024 05:01
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What a gingerbread jerk! I'm all in on these skeleton adventures, and as long as slots are open, I'd love to sign myself up!! ______________________________________________________ I'm thinking of a guy....A guy by the name of Ricky Marrow  As you can see from the artist's depiction, Mr. Marrow was not a particularly approachable man in life nor does he prove one in everlasting undeath. A car salesman by trade, Ricky always hated people, especially old folks and the gullible. Until that fateful night in 1972 when Ricky's T-Bird ran off the interstate, Ricky plied his trade taking advantage of the vulnerable. A terrible man, by any rational measure. With a heart dripping full of hate, Ricky's mission is to kill the humans and whatever else about joy or cheer there was to do, if we have to. As far as stats, Ricky most likely falls along the following lines: BB: Not particularly gifted, but not terrible. Middling. SS: Real drat good. This is one greased up skeleton, and he moves like a slicked lizard in heat. The tortoise might beat the hare, but Ricky sold the tortoise a lemon and is out by the finish line doing laps in a used sedan. SC: Unfathomably bad, nobody wants to be near Ricky. You don't want to smell him, think about him, or see him - I didn't even want to spend time drawing him right No preference or thoughts as to how I might show up in this scenario. This dirtbag could be lurking anywhere. Until then, Rattlin' on, slatherin' broads! Ricky, out.
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Jan 11, 2024 05:49
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Dan C. McAbre The original party skeleton, Dan also has aspirations as an amateur dramatist and actor and is an excellent dancer. In life perhaps they were a famous celebrity or entertainer, or perhaps the scion of a rich family turned drunken wastrel? In any case they take great delight in attempting to Scare the Humans but are easily distracted by any opportunity for revelry! They also tend to get carried away with their own performance, after all they are truly destined for greatness (at least in their own mind) and deserve to enjoy the high unlife. Naturally the hard carousing and spooking lifestyle has taken its toll on bones already weak from a life of privilege and Dan is physically frail compared to most skeletons. BB: 1d4 SS: 1d10 SC: 1d20 They announce their presence in the cell by moaning loudly and pitifully, clearly feeling awful sorry for themself at whatever predicament circumstance led to them awakening here. |
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Jan 11, 2024 14:01
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RavenousScoot posted:Charnel Rancher: Crane your cranelike neck, and the head attached to it, through the bars and survey ye jolly dungeon. Give the candy cane bars a small gnaw or two while you're at it. You'd rather give a lick, but you haven't reclaimed any working tongues of late. The candy cane bars are pretty weak. You could probably gnaw through them if it weren't for the weird hatch you found at the bottom of the pile of snow! You don't hear anything from beneath... Snuff Melange posted:What a gingerbread jerk! I'm all in on these skeleton adventures, and as long as slots are open, I'd love to sign myself up!! BB: d6 SS: d20 SC: d4 You fall in through the roof after falling off a flying skeletal reindeer that had more important things to do. Welcome! Stoner Sloth posted:Dan C. McAbre These characters are great, thanks for your contributions. 
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Jan 11, 2024 20:56
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Leg Bones The result of a necromancer's post-party dabbling or perhaps something even crazier? Nobody knows, least of all Leg Bones. Leg Bones stands rather tall and doesn't say much at all, probably due to not even having a chestbone or whatever it is that renders speech unto skeletons. Among friends known as Legs or Leggy (dont call him Bones it gets confusing) He likes to hang out and tag along. When given the opportunity he would like to Scare The Humans. Does a mad jig on occasions.
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Jan 11, 2024 23:59
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Stoner Sloth posted:Dan C. McAbre Having just fallen deftly to the floor from one unbothered reindeer, Ricky Marrow dusts himself off and gives a good ol' stretch to get down to brass tax. Just as Ricky hears the pathetic groaning, a foul mood comes over the oily bonesman and he realizes he's going to chastise McAbre. "Get a grip, you good for nothin' wimp. We've got to get proactive about this situation, see?", while slicking his mustache in two ways with a pair of fingers. Ricky saunters up to the cell walls and gives them a good sniff, and a shove, but feels pretty hopeless about it all. Pacing back and forth while tutting out loud, he suddenly notices Charnel Rancher. "Who the hell is this creep? Hey Shakespeare, you notice this thing or what??", Ricky protests, while gesturing towards McAbre.
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Jan 12, 2024 01:53
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This is how I picture things looking from over Ricky's shoulder: OOC: Also didnt want to acknowledge Leg Bones until the Bone Master played him in, as it were.
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Jan 12, 2024 02:17
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Dan attempts to pull themself together, clattering his way to his feet and managing to get his head on straight on the second try "I say, I say, I say... did you hear the one about the skeleton lawyer? He had a reputation for taking cases pro bone-o! Ha! That one slayed them in out in Boouisville!" They grin - mind you they could hardly do otherwise - at the other residents of the cell as they brush the snow from their fancy clothes and retrieve their walking stick "Dan C. McCabre at your service, bonejour, greetings and salutations!" says Dan to the others before finally taking a look at their surrounds and adding "Well I've played worse venues... but how about we find a way out of here, and in my case a better agent too." |
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Jan 12, 2024 19:45
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Charnel Rancher: Boggle vacantly at the skylight and picture all the havoc you could get up to together with your own reindeer buddy. Huh? What's that petulent noise slithering its way into your daydream? Oof, get a load at that scuzzy little curmudgeon. And he's still running his mouth, too, seemingly about you. Hmm, well, you suppose he's scary... could be an ally if it comes to such dire measures, but then again, his bite may be worse than his bark. Watch this one. Your other cellmate looks much more agreeable, though. Despite his bones not even looking worthwhile to repurpose should things get messy, the spirit driving them more than makes up for it. You're sure spirit is what animates skeletons. You used to think bones were piloted by a worm located in the skull, but probes into your little friends to verify this proved any annelids to be incidental. (Perhaps they provide some other benefit to the skeletal?) Anyway, toss your bat friend, Visconde de Guano, up to the roof to peek outside. Then snap off a candycane bar, and break it over your kneebone (genuine longhorn patella) to share with your new company. RavenousScoot fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Jan 13, 2024
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Jan 13, 2024 03:29
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(Sorry I had to work this weekend, I'll continue skeleDMing after some r&r)
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Jan 14, 2024 17:25
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Leg Bones BB: d8 SS: d20 SC: d8 RavenousScoot posted:Charnel Rancher: Boggle vacantly at the skylight and picture all the havoc you could get up to together with your own reindeer buddy. Huh? What's that petulent noise slithering its way into your daydream? Oof, get a load at that scuzzy little curmudgeon. And he's still running his mouth, too, seemingly about you. Hmm, well, you suppose he's scary... could be an ally if it comes to such dire measures, but then again, his bite may be worse than his bark. Watch this one. Breaking off a candy cane bar, you see the adjacent cells and the path out of this prison...  The human in the cell seems BIG AND DUMB, but EASILY SPOOKED. The door outside the prison is UNLOCKED. What do you all do???
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Jan 15, 2024 18:29
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... uh oh! Yes! Charnel Rancher It feels like you've been standing with your arm outstretched for two weeks, but it's only been moments. Guess nobody's a fan of peppermint. Toss the segmented candy over your shoulder at the remaining bars and then attempt to open the hatch.
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Jan 27, 2024 06:03
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(sorry OP i missed that there had been an update - hopefully you're still up for running this!) Dan looks up at the hole in the ceiling and feels this sort of a climb might be a lot of effort. They wander over to the cell door and they say "Looks like a job for the old Skeleton Key!". Dan cracks their knuckles dramatically and then, addressing the door barring their exit with the quip "I've got a bone to pick you with!", they attempt to use one of their slender finger bones to attempt to pick the lock. |
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Jan 28, 2024 23:32
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(Sorry y'all, gotta put this on the back burner for another week or so, busy with a trip I've been planning for a while. Maybe February will bring skeleton love once you learn what's below the hatch!)
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Feb 1, 2024 08:56
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ToastGhost posted:(Sorry y'all, gotta put this on the back burner for another week or so, busy with a trip I've been planning for a while. Maybe February will bring skeleton love once you learn what's below the hatch!) take your time, my bones will be jingling in anticipation
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Feb 1, 2024 15:12
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Stoner Sloth posted:(sorry OP i missed that there had been an update - hopefully you're still up for running this!) RavenousScoot posted:... uh oh! Yes! Charnel Rancher That's right, a maze of sparkling tinsel-covered tunnels adorned with giftboxes and goody bags for the season. What will you find in them? WHO KNOWS!!!! (i do) The storm outside is getting worse so your skeleton bat friend joins you once more. It's a bit chilly, but your bones are warm from the fires of friendship. WHERE DOES EVERYONE GO NOW?????
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Feb 8, 2024 12:39
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(sorry I forgot about this one) You gain sentience and look around. Or maybe you have been sentient for a long while and just now, in this very moment, became aware? Maybe you've been sleeping? You have the idea you should have memories of the time before now if you have been sleeping. Where did that idea come from? You don't know. You become aware you are aware. Wait that doesn't sound right. You spend a few moments in contemplation about all the why's you've got. Questions about how you got here, who you are and why you are press in on your lil' noggin', but you do your best to shrug. Shrugging is hard. In fact shrugging is drat near impossible. You look down yourself the best you can and find you can rotate your head, wait no, your skull quite independent from the rest of your body, which turns out to be three pairs of leg bones and one set of feet. Bone feet. You make the decision that if this is your current situation you may as well make the best of it and create an identity for yourself, how meagre its sources may be. You've got a lot of leg bones, therefore you are now Leg Bones. Yeah that's seems about right, and you're standing in a cell of some sorts. You spend a little longer contemplating how you understand the concepts of 'standing' and 'cell'. You spin your skull a few times, clock-wise solely along your longitudinal axis. Huh, more concepts you understand without knowing why you know. Better leave that thinking for later. You are standing in a cell. That is your situation as it is, focuse on that one. You look around and take in your surroundings. Yep, still standing in a cell, in front of you a door of some sorts, and that's about it. You'd like to get a closer look at the door but that requires moving. Locomotion feels like a big thing - you've got skull spinning down now, but you don't know what the leg bones feel about moving. Rotate skull 70 degrees along its horisontal axis, look at leg bones. Okay you can do this, let's try and make these leg bones move. Your leg bones work perfectly. They work so well you run straight into the cell door and fall to the ground. Woah! You are Bone Pile. Quite literally. The impact has disarticulated you completely and your skull is on the floor upside down. Well that was unexpected. You examine your situation and find you are not too worried about your predicament. Mostly because the impact with the door and subsequently with the floor has made you more aware of your self. You can feel your bones, and without thinking closer about it you fold your leg bones together and restore your structural integrity. And then you stand up. You are Leg Bones and you are standing at the door. It has a small barred window through which you can see a hallway of some sorts. Across from you is a door, much similar to the one you are standing at. From your left you can hear a commotion down the hallway of some sorts, and you would very much like to figure out its source. You look at the bars - they look spaced far enough apart you could probably squeeze through and get in to the hallway. Yeah, take that shoulderbones havers. Attempt to squeeze through the bars.
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Feb 9, 2024 13:41
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Sounds like LEG BONES is using their Skeleton Swiftness to squeeze through the bars! d20=9, DC = 6. Pass! You angle yourself juuuuust right and slip through, popping out with your legs and head into the main prison floor. The human sees you get closer and shouts. "Go away you moldy bones, I don't want any of that today!" He draws a cross to protect himself, but god has no place in skeletonworld. He goes back to hiding as best he can, gasping and shouting intermittently once he realizes his current hiding spot isn't working. I could've sworn I hit "submit reply" on this but apparently not.
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Feb 11, 2024 13:57
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Dan has a plan. Perhaps. In any case the newly freed skeleton saunters over to talk to the man opening with "Greetings Human, say speaking of god have you heard The Good News? There is a spooky skeleton inside of everyone!" The wily skeleton then proceeds to launch into an ersatz sales pitch, focusing on the benefits of the skeleton life such as: - Effortlessly shedding those unwanted and unsightly pounds! - Being lighter on your feet than you have been in years. - Forget your cares and worries! No brain means no pain! - Don't need to worry where your next meal is coming from. - Sick of the 9-to-5 rat race?! Be a Skeleton!! - Earn the respect of your peers! Be the life of the party! Everyone loves spooky skeletons! - Don't have to worry about acne or bad haircut again! - Have you ever seen a skeleton frown? No!! - Love Life a Disappointment? You're Guaranteed to get to Bone. To attempt to work in concert with Leg Bones scaring the man by using their considerable charisma to charm the man's skeleton to burst forth from out of its retreating and cowering flesh prison and join the escape party. |
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Feb 11, 2024 14:52
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(Sorry I was in my crypt.) Rolling Skeleton Charisma for Dan! D20 = 12, DC = 10. Pass! The dumb human listens enthusiastically to you, clapping along and making amused noises amidst dribbling spit. At the end he cheers vigorously and says the following: "Alright, I'll free myself from this prison!" Before grabbing his torso and ripping off the entirety of his flesh, muscles, fat, and other assorted systems, leaving them in a grim pile amidst the stone floor. Before you stands a big skeleton (from a big man) and he smiles at you, as all skeletons tend to do. "Thanks for the encouragement, buddy. Let me let you in on a little secret. When I was thrown in here, I overheard the guards talking about 8 layers to this dungeon, and right now we're on the first. There's some stuff above ground too, but that's not where the real treasure lies. You want to get the good stuff, you have to make it all the way to Santa's Sarcophagus. Some say it's just a legend, but it must be true... only, who knows if he still rests there, of if his drive to deliver presents has consumed him again..." He gives a rattling laugh and busts through the candy cane door to make his way to the desk that was pictured a long time ago, looking around the place and flexing his bones. "Oh gross my brain's still in here." He takes a skeletal finger and shoves it up his nose, stirring it around until his brain slowly sloshes out. Everyone post a lot now.
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Mar 10, 2024 16:21
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 we're backCharnel Rancher, let your flock loose to graze on this glimmering boon of fresh tinsel. All their favorite flavors are here: cherry red plastic garland, crunchy gold tinsel ribbon off-the-roll, lead foil lamettas fluttering through the air... What a gift these sprawling tunnels are! Speaking of, maybe you should take one of these gift boxes in case you need to carry your little friends through any naps if the bone-jingling gets a bit too overwhelming for them. Unbox a present. And let's not be selfish, while the wee ones get their fill, bring some goodie bags to the crew upstairs. Never know when a good bag could come in handy while plundering the endless holiday cheer in the depths below.
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Mar 10, 2024 22:00
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Your skeletal familiars start pecking and biting at the tinsel, stealing it for their nests and general decoration. You then open a present. Rolling for random present... d20 = ??? The present EXPLODES open in a shower of smoke and... socks? Oh great, it's socks!! This one is useless unless you like socks, but the goodie bags might have something nice. You can see some bone crafts sticking out from some of them, including a Femur Flute. That one's hard to fit in the spiderweb silk bag. The tunnels continue with not much rhyme or reason, but if you delve deep enough you'll probably find an exit.
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Mar 10, 2024 22:54
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Dan gives a rowdy high five to the newly freed and recruited skeleton pal! The more the merrier! They listen to their newfound comrades story, nodding excitedly at the prospect of the adventure ahead "Sounds like we ought to say 'Bone voyage!' to this place and chart a course for adventure!" Dan thanks Charnel Rancher for the gift bag, being musically inclined they'll take the one with the flute if no one objects (if so they'll happily let another skeleton take that bag being an agreeable sort of undead fellow) - playing a jaunty tune to improve morale before seeing what else is in the bag. After that they're happy to clear out when everyone is ready, keen to delve further into the dungeon's deeper levels. |
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Mar 10, 2024 23:10
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Charnel Rancher, relish your new, showy prosthetic snood, and embrace the chimeric ratite in you. Oh my, what's this? Dan's melody is positively irresistable. You'd surely follow this charming music all the way down to untold depths and into a holly jolly abyss. Unquestioningly following it while it wraps and worms its way through your bones the way Dan's unmatched spirit flows over the ridges of theirs. Surely this is the work of one well-acquainted with their skeletal spirit... how else would they operate a femur flute so skillfully without any lips? 
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Mar 11, 2024 20:47
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First off let me apologize for taking so long. I get absolutely floored by the quality of Scoot's art that I know nothing that follows it can compare. Anyway, onto the game. You follow the left wall through the bullshit maze of tinsel and presents like wrist snap bracelets and tooth necklaces. It's mostly bone crafts and jewelry. Past the Tinsel Tunnels lies a heavy ice door leading to FROSTY'S FROZEN FORTRESS, where a hatless dead snowman serves as an important message for anyone entering. What will you do now??
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Mar 27, 2024 00:57
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i want to scare ‘em spooky pls |
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Mar 27, 2024 03:01
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databasic posted:i want to scare ‘em spooky pls DataBONER BB: d20 SS: d8 DC: d6 Dare you enter Frosty's Frozen Fortress?
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Mar 27, 2024 15:31
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ToastGhost posted:First off let me apologize for taking so long. I get absolutely floored by the quality of Scoot's art that I know nothing that follows it can compare. Anyway, onto the game. thank you my homefry  its lots of fun seeing what you and everyone brings together Charnel Rancher scavenge yonder snowman like a vulture. You're not one, but carrion anyway. er uh yeah. That. Wait a moment more and see what our fellow skellies are up to...
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Mar 29, 2024 02:40
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ToastGhost posted:First off let me apologize for taking so long. I get absolutely floored by the quality of Scoot's art that I know nothing that follows it can compare. Anyway, onto the game. Heck same about Scoot's art (rendition of Dan is perfect)! and welcome back! databasic posted:i want to scare ‘em spooky pls Welcome aboard! Anyway back to the adventure! Dan finishes up their jaunty tune on the old bone flute and then attempts to stir their comrades hearts (or at least empty ribcages) to the call of the adventure that lies ahead "Our quest truly begins! Let us head on wards towards glory and freedom, everyone keep their sockets peeled for signs of treasure or danger!" and the motion for the large skeleton and the others to open the heavy ice door (their own feeble attempts to do so more likely to produce comedy than the dramatic moment intended) feeling that the others are better prepared through either skill or strength to take point and content for now to hang back just a little ways. They don't say so but the do glance somewhat nervously at the decapitated snowman - poor fellow, to lose their hat like that! Dan ensures their own fancy headgear is suitably secured as they part prepares to venture forth. (if possible use Skeleton Charisma to inspire the others/bolster their courage/gird their loins or at least pelvic bones) |
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Mar 29, 2024 13:04
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Stoner Sloth posted:They don't say so but the do glance somewhat nervously at the decapitated snowman - poor fellow, to lose their hat like that! Dan ensures their own fancy headgear is suitably secured as they part prepares to venture forth. ROLLING SKELETON CHARISMA, THE MOST MYSTERIOUS OF ALL SKELETON STATS d20 = 9 It wasn't your best performance of all time or anything but you do manage to rally bonethusiasm among your group. Some of Charnel Rancher's skelethings caw affirmatively.
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Mar 29, 2024 14:56
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