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ToastGhost

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Welcome to JINGLE BONES DUNGEON!!!!

You are a FESTIVE SKELETON, and you are rattling in the new year!! Because most of you are dead and reanimated, you might've left your dementia ridden brain behind, but that's not important because THE HOLIDAYS DON'T STOP TILL YOU'RE DUST.

Don't worry, we'll go over the rules real quick! First, the 5 mysterious skeleton stats.

Backbones - BB - The measure of skeleton strength and bone density. Useful for shoving pianos off of verandas to crush humans below.
Skeleton Swiftness - SS - The ability for a skeleton to play instruments or themselves as instruments, as well as move swiftly when giving a human the willies,
Skeleton Charisma - SC - The most mysterious of skeleton stats!

You will have between a d4 to d20 in each stat. Your quest is to SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER to humans by either
1. KILLING THEM
2. TICKLE THEIR RIBS
3. SCARE EM SPOOKY

If you can gather 3 magic keys, you might find the secret passageway to skeleton love!!

We'll need 4 BONERS (players) to get this party started. Please post your interest in becoming a skeleton and preferred stats.

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ToastGhost

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1 is close enough to 4, so I'll just get typing and yet y'all bring your own adventure.

RavenousScoot posted:

CHARNEL RANCHER



When humans are done with their pets, they throw away the best parts... what gives???

The Charnel Rancher's here to show them what they're missing: he hereby vows to form an unfuckwitable herd of man's ex best friends to march through the streets at night and rattle the meatbound straight out of their dreams.

As things stand now, a proper herd is still in need of gathering, but the rancher, always a firm believer of avoiding waste, has recycled some partial remains from the back of the local ostrich farm to upgrade himself. With a neck like this, there can certainly be some proper bone jingling!

All beginning stats left up to chance to reflect this boner-of-theseus having swapped scavenged parts.
Your stats are as follows:
BB: d12
SS: d10
SC: d8

CHAPTER 1: ESCAPE FROM THE CANDY CANE CATACOMBS
You wake up from your skeletal slumber, a feeling stirring in your bones. You need wassail, or some kind of wine to splash on your ribs. It has been too long since you've been to a rocking New Year's Eve party, but tonight might have just enough Christmas and Hannukah Magic to allow you to achieve your goals to the maximum tonight.

A Gingerbread Golem addressed you from the candy cane bars blocking the way. "Ho ho ho, what do we have here. Such an ugly skeleton, good thing I have no bones for you to rattle. I'm going to drink some milk, you stay there and rot for all I care. Hohoha!!!"

Jeeze what an rear end in a top hat. You are alone in your cell. That's a lie, there's a handsome skeleton with an unlit cigarette hanging out in the corner. He says, "Don't let 'em get to you. He can't understand the simple pleasures of skeleton life, and never will. Likely he will be taken down by a hoard of hungry humans who fell through a portal into this forever dungeon."

There's also a big pile of snow in the center of the room. There's an opening above the ceiling that it's falling through. What do you do?

ToastGhost

20% cooler

RavenousScoot posted:

Charnel Rancher: Crane your cranelike neck, and the head attached to it, through the bars and survey ye jolly dungeon. Give the candy cane bars a small gnaw or two while you're at it. You'd rather give a lick, but you haven't reclaimed any working tongues of late.

Then... do a Bugs Bunny dive into the snow pile like it's a rabbit hole. There's surely wonder at the bottom!
Rolling Backbones... 1d12 = 6

The candy cane bars are pretty weak. You could probably gnaw through them if it weren't for the weird hatch you found at the bottom of the pile of snow! You don't hear anything from beneath...

Snuff Melange posted:

What a gingerbread jerk! I'm all in on these skeleton adventures, and as long as slots are open, I'd love to sign myself up!!

______________________________________________________

I'm thinking of a guy....A guy by the name of Ricky Marrow


As you can see from the artist's depiction, Mr. Marrow was not a particularly approachable man in life nor does he prove one in everlasting undeath. A car salesman by trade, Ricky always hated people, especially old folks and the gullible. Until that fateful night in 1972 when Ricky's T-Bird ran off the interstate, Ricky plied his trade taking advantage of the vulnerable. A terrible man, by any rational measure.

With a heart dripping full of hate, Ricky's mission is to kill the humans and whatever else about joy or cheer there was to do, if we have to.

As far as stats, Ricky most likely falls along the following lines:

BB: Not particularly gifted, but not terrible. Middling.
SS: Real drat good. This is one greased up skeleton, and he moves like a slicked lizard in heat. The tortoise might beat the hare, but Ricky sold the tortoise a lemon and is out by the finish line doing laps in a used sedan.
SC: Unfathomably bad, nobody wants to be near Ricky. You don't want to smell him, think about him, or see him - I didn't even want to spend time drawing him right

No preference or thoughts as to how I might show up in this scenario. This dirtbag could be lurking anywhere.

Until then,

Rattlin' on, slatherin' broads! Ricky, out.
Your stats are as follows:

BB: d6
SS: d20
SC: d4

You fall in through the roof after falling off a flying skeletal reindeer that had more important things to do. Welcome!

Stoner Sloth posted:

Dan C. McAbre



The original party skeleton, Dan also has aspirations as an amateur dramatist and actor and is an excellent dancer. In life perhaps they were a famous celebrity or entertainer, or perhaps the scion of a rich family turned drunken wastrel? In any case they take great delight in attempting to Scare the Humans but are easily distracted by any opportunity for revelry! They also tend to get carried away with their own performance, after all they are truly destined for greatness (at least in their own mind) and deserve to enjoy the high unlife.

Naturally the hard carousing and spooking lifestyle has taken its toll on bones already weak from a life of privilege and Dan is physically frail compared to most skeletons.

BB: 1d4
SS: 1d10
SC: 1d20

They announce their presence in the cell by moaning loudly and pitifully, clearly feeling awful sorry for themself at whatever predicament circumstance led to them awakening here.
Oh good you already have your stats. You can all talk to each other and rub elbows and whatnot.

These characters are great, thanks for your contributions. :ghost:

ToastGhost

20% cooler
(Sorry I had to work this weekend, I'll continue skeleDMing after some r&r)

ToastGhost

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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

Leg Bones

The result of a necromancer's post-party dabbling or perhaps something even crazier? Nobody knows, least of all Leg Bones.

Leg Bones stands rather tall and doesn't say much at all, probably due to not even having a chestbone or whatever it is that renders speech unto skeletons. Among friends known as Legs or Leggy (dont call him Bones it gets confusing) He likes to hang out and tag along.

When given the opportunity he would like to Scare The Humans.

Does a mad jig on occasions.
LEG BONES STATS:
BB: d8
SS: d20
SC: d8


RavenousScoot posted:

Charnel Rancher: Boggle vacantly at the skylight and picture all the havoc you could get up to together with your own reindeer buddy. Huh? What's that petulent noise slithering its way into your daydream? Oof, get a load at that scuzzy little curmudgeon. And he's still running his mouth, too, seemingly about you. Hmm, well, you suppose he's scary... could be an ally if it comes to such dire measures, but then again, his bite may be worse than his bark. Watch this one.

Your other cellmate looks much more agreeable, though. Despite his bones not even looking worthwhile to repurpose should things get messy, the spirit driving them more than makes up for it. You're sure spirit is what animates skeletons. You used to think bones were piloted by a worm located in the skull, but probes into your little friends to verify this proved any annelids to be incidental. (Perhaps they provide some other benefit to the skeletal?)

Anyway, toss your bat friend, Visconde de Guano, up to the roof to peek outside. Then snap off a candycane bar, and break it over your kneebone (genuine longhorn patella) to share with your new company.
V. de Guano flies up through to the hole, but reports that it is very windy and foggy outside! Despite that, they can tell that you seem to be in the graveyard of a GRAND CATHEDRAL. You also hear sleighbells but can't find where they're coming from exactly.

Breaking off a candy cane bar, you see the adjacent cells and the path out of this prison...


The human in the cell seems BIG AND DUMB, but EASILY SPOOKED. The door outside the prison is UNLOCKED. What do you all do???

ToastGhost

20% cooler
(Sorry y'all, gotta put this on the back burner for another week or so, busy with a trip I've been planning for a while. Maybe February will bring skeleton love once you learn what's below the hatch!)

ToastGhost

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Stoner Sloth posted:

(sorry OP i missed that there had been an update - hopefully you're still up for running this!)

Dan looks up at the hole in the ceiling and feels this sort of a climb might be a lot of effort. They wander over to the cell door and they say "Looks like a job for the old Skeleton Key!". Dan cracks their knuckles dramatically and then, addressing the door barring their exit with the quip "I've got a bone to pick you with!", they attempt to use one of their slender finger bones to attempt to pick the lock.
ROLLING SKELETON SWIFTNESS SECRETLY: YOU PASS! The door to the candy cane cell swings open, and you can likely pull off the same trick with the remaining cells, freeing precious leg bones and potentially gaining a new skeleton if you "liberate" one from that human.

RavenousScoot posted:

... uh oh! Yes! Charnel Rancher

It feels like you've been standing with your arm outstretched for two weeks, but it's only been moments. Guess nobody's a fan of peppermint. Toss the segmented candy over your shoulder at the remaining bars and then attempt to open the hatch.
The hatch is openable with some effort, and below you get the dark souls transition to a new area effect where it reveals the name of the area, and this is THE TINSEL TUNNELS

That's right, a maze of sparkling tinsel-covered tunnels adorned with giftboxes and goody bags for the season. What will you find in them? WHO KNOWS!!!! (i do)

The storm outside is getting worse so your skeleton bat friend joins you once more. It's a bit chilly, but your bones are warm from the fires of friendship.

WHERE DOES EVERYONE GO NOW?????

ToastGhost

20% cooler
Sounds like LEG BONES is using their Skeleton Swiftness to squeeze through the bars!

d20=9, DC = 6. Pass!

You angle yourself juuuuust right and slip through, popping out with your legs and head into the main prison floor. The human sees you get closer and shouts. "Go away you moldy bones, I don't want any of that today!" He draws a cross to protect himself, but god has no place in skeletonworld. He goes back to hiding as best he can, gasping and shouting intermittently once he realizes his current hiding spot isn't working.

I could've sworn I hit "submit reply" on this but apparently not.

ToastGhost

20% cooler
(Sorry I was in my crypt.)

Rolling Skeleton Charisma for Dan!
D20 = 12, DC = 10. Pass!

The dumb human listens enthusiastically to you, clapping along and making amused noises amidst dribbling spit. At the end he cheers vigorously and says the following: "Alright, I'll free myself from this prison!" Before grabbing his torso and ripping off the entirety of his flesh, muscles, fat, and other assorted systems, leaving them in a grim pile amidst the stone floor. Before you stands a big skeleton (from a big man) and he smiles at you, as all skeletons tend to do.

"Thanks for the encouragement, buddy. Let me let you in on a little secret. When I was thrown in here, I overheard the guards talking about 8 layers to this dungeon, and right now we're on the first. There's some stuff above ground too, but that's not where the real treasure lies. You want to get the good stuff, you have to make it all the way to Santa's Sarcophagus. Some say it's just a legend, but it must be true... only, who knows if he still rests there, of if his drive to deliver presents has consumed him again..." He gives a rattling laugh and busts through the candy cane door to make his way to the desk that was pictured a long time ago, looking around the place and flexing his bones.

"Oh gross my brain's still in here." He takes a skeletal finger and shoves it up his nose, stirring it around until his brain slowly sloshes out.

Everyone post a lot now.

ToastGhost

20% cooler
Your skeletal familiars start pecking and biting at the tinsel, stealing it for their nests and general decoration. You then open a present.

Rolling for random present... d20 = ???

The present EXPLODES open in a shower of smoke and... socks? Oh great, it's socks!! This one is useless unless you like socks, but the goodie bags might have something nice. You can see some bone crafts sticking out from some of them, including a Femur Flute. That one's hard to fit in the spiderweb silk bag.

The tunnels continue with not much rhyme or reason, but if you delve deep enough you'll probably find an exit.

ToastGhost

20% cooler
First off let me apologize for taking so long. I get absolutely floored by the quality of Scoot's art that I know nothing that follows it can compare. Anyway, onto the game.

You follow the left wall through the bullshit maze of tinsel and presents like wrist snap bracelets and tooth necklaces. It's mostly bone crafts and jewelry.

Past the Tinsel Tunnels lies a heavy ice door leading to FROSTY'S FROZEN FORTRESS, where a hatless dead snowman serves as an important message for anyone entering. What will you do now??

ToastGhost

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databasic posted:

i want to scare ‘em spooky pls
You get to be the big skeleton that the others just "rescued"!

DataBONER

BB: d20
SS: d8
DC: d6


Dare you enter Frosty's Frozen Fortress?

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ToastGhost

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Stoner Sloth posted:

They don't say so but the do glance somewhat nervously at the decapitated snowman - poor fellow, to lose their hat like that! Dan ensures their own fancy headgear is suitably secured as they part prepares to venture forth.

(if possible use Skeleton Charisma to inspire the others/bolster their courage/gird their loins or at least pelvic bones)
You better hold on tight to that hat, because as the door opens the wind blows fiercely, and reveals another goddamn maze filled with icy patches and animated snowpeople, grimacing at you. Or maybe that's just how they look. All of them are wearing special hats, like a turban and one of those drinking hats.

ROLLING SKELETON CHARISMA, THE MOST MYSTERIOUS OF ALL SKELETON STATS

d20 = 9

It wasn't your best performance of all time or anything but you do manage to rally bonethusiasm among your group. Some of Charnel Rancher's skelethings caw affirmatively.

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