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Stoner Sloth

Dan C. McAbre



The original party skeleton, Dan also has aspirations as an amateur dramatist and actor and is an excellent dancer. In life perhaps they were a famous celebrity or entertainer, or perhaps the scion of a rich family turned drunken wastrel? In any case they take great delight in attempting to Scare the Humans but are easily distracted by any opportunity for revelry! They also tend to get carried away with their own performance, after all they are truly destined for greatness (at least in their own mind) and deserve to enjoy the high unlife.

Naturally the hard carousing and spooking lifestyle has taken its toll on bones already weak from a life of privilege and Dan is physically frail compared to most skeletons.

BB: 1d4
SS: 1d10
SC: 1d20

They announce their presence in the cell by moaning loudly and pitifully, clearly feeling awful sorry for themself at whatever predicament circumstance led to them awakening here.

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Stoner Sloth

Dan attempts to pull themself together, clattering his way to his feet and managing to get his head on straight on the second try "I say, I say, I say... did you hear the one about the skeleton lawyer? He had a reputation for taking cases pro bone-o! Ha! That one slayed them in out in Boouisville!"

They grin - mind you they could hardly do otherwise - at the other residents of the cell as they brush the snow from their fancy clothes and retrieve their walking stick "Dan C. McCabre at your service, bonejour, greetings and salutations!" says Dan to the others before finally taking a look at their surrounds and adding "Well I've played worse venues... but how about we find a way out of here, and in my case a better agent too."

Stoner Sloth

(sorry OP i missed that there had been an update - hopefully you're still up for running this!)

Dan looks up at the hole in the ceiling and feels this sort of a climb might be a lot of effort. They wander over to the cell door and they say "Looks like a job for the old Skeleton Key!". Dan cracks their knuckles dramatically and then, addressing the door barring their exit with the quip "I've got a bone to pick you with!", they attempt to use one of their slender finger bones to attempt to pick the lock.

Stoner Sloth

Dan has a plan. Perhaps. In any case the newly freed skeleton saunters over to talk to the man opening with "Greetings Human, say speaking of god have you heard The Good News? There is a spooky skeleton inside of everyone!"

The wily skeleton then proceeds to launch into an ersatz sales pitch, focusing on the benefits of the skeleton life such as:

- Effortlessly shedding those unwanted and unsightly pounds!
- Being lighter on your feet than you have been in years.
- Forget your cares and worries! No brain means no pain!
- Don't need to worry where your next meal is coming from.
- Sick of the 9-to-5 rat race?! Be a Skeleton!!
- Earn the respect of your peers! Be the life of the party! Everyone loves spooky skeletons!
- Don't have to worry about acne or bad haircut again!
- Have you ever seen a skeleton frown? No!!
- Love Life a Disappointment? You're Guaranteed to get to Bone.

To attempt to work in concert with Leg Bones scaring the man by using their considerable charisma to charm the man's skeleton to burst forth from out of its retreating and cowering flesh prison and join the escape party.

Stoner Sloth

Dan gives a rowdy high five to the newly freed and recruited skeleton pal! The more the merrier!

They listen to their newfound comrades story, nodding excitedly at the prospect of the adventure ahead "Sounds like we ought to say 'Bone voyage!' to this place and chart a course for adventure!"

Dan thanks Charnel Rancher for the gift bag, being musically inclined they'll take the one with the flute if no one objects (if so they'll happily let another skeleton take that bag being an agreeable sort of undead fellow) - playing a jaunty tune to improve morale before seeing what else is in the bag.

After that they're happy to clear out when everyone is ready, keen to delve further into the dungeon's deeper levels.

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Stoner Sloth

ToastGhost posted:

First off let me apologize for taking so long. I get absolutely floored by the quality of Scoot's art that I know nothing that follows it can compare. Anyway, onto the game.

You follow the left wall through the bullshit maze of tinsel and presents like wrist snap bracelets and tooth necklaces. It's mostly bone crafts and jewelry.

Past the Tinsel Tunnels lies a heavy ice door leading to FROSTY'S FROZEN FORTRESS, where a hatless dead snowman serves as an important message for anyone entering. What will you do now??

Heck same about Scoot's art (rendition of Dan is perfect)! and welcome back!


databasic posted:

i want to scare ‘em spooky pls

Welcome aboard!

Anyway back to the adventure!

Dan finishes up their jaunty tune on the old bone flute and then attempts to stir their comrades hearts (or at least empty ribcages) to the call of the adventure that lies ahead "Our quest truly begins! Let us head on wards towards glory and freedom, everyone keep their sockets peeled for signs of treasure or danger!" and the motion for the large skeleton and the others to open the heavy ice door (their own feeble attempts to do so more likely to produce comedy than the dramatic moment intended) feeling that the others are better prepared through either skill or strength to take point and content for now to hang back just a little ways.

They don't say so but the do glance somewhat nervously at the decapitated snowman - poor fellow, to lose their hat like that! Dan ensures their own fancy headgear is suitably secured as they part prepares to venture forth.

(if possible use Skeleton Charisma to inspire the others/bolster their courage/gird their loins or at least pelvic bones)

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