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alignment while we were aligning getting everyone aligned I just hate the word aligned at this point
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Jan 13, 2024 00:33
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Bonzo posted:check the SharePoint site. Anybody in management that promotes the use of sharepoint should be tried for war crimes
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Jan 13, 2024 00:39
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runway bandwidth align / alignment boots on the ground let's chat live about this most of these are pre-covid out of date office speak but still used today i find
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Jan 13, 2024 00:44
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One of the benefits of learning corpospeak is if you use it when talking to a junior corpo, they tend to fall in line with whatever you're asking. Speaking fluent corpo is a valuable skill.
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Jan 13, 2024 00:53
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I was in a meeting once and heard a manager say "We need to focus on activating our users across all verticals" and I had to fight not to crack up in front of everybody.
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Jan 13, 2024 00:54
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Let's right click on this topic and open it in a new tab. For now I want spend some time discussing our NPS score.
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Jan 13, 2024 00:55
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Smugworth posted:One of the benefits of learning corpospeak is if you use it when talking to a junior corpo, they tend to fall in line with whatever you're asking. Speaking fluent corpo is a valuable skill. i found myself landing some good corpospeak in an interview today and I feel gross
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Jan 13, 2024 00:56
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we dont have to boil the ocean here
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Jan 13, 2024 00:57
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we need someone who is nuts to soup on this
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Jan 13, 2024 00:57
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going forward this thread needs to increase lean-in focus on our core deliverables, which will mean getting a steer from seniors on the policy direction before we issue a condoc to key stakeholders I have worked in government and government-adjacent roles for twenty years and my mind has gone
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Jan 13, 2024 01:38
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MoonshineWilly posted:Anybody in management that promotes the use of sharepoint should be tried for war crimes I make a lot of money IRL to unfuck places that created 10,000,000.314 SharePoint sites at the start of the pandemic.
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Jan 13, 2024 01:49
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kalel posted:thanks folks, let's go to ground and schedule a follow-up KT* if needed for the rest of the stakeholders I work in a highly regulated industry and my favorite thing to explain to new employees is the nesting doll acronyms, some of which are pronounced in a way that barely resemble what they stand for and what they stand for tells you absolutely nothing more. "That was explained in the DROP" "DROP?" "Department Regulatory Operational Procedure" "What is that?" "Ugh, you know from the WASTA" "What is the WASTA?" "Um, The Washington Technical Authority" "What the gently caress is The Washington Technical Authority?" "OMG, do you know anything? They are the subcommittee of the BLOP" "OK seriously, are you loving with me, what is the BLOP?" "Jesus Christ, the Bureau of Land Operational Procedure!" "Stop it! Just tell me who these people are!"" "It's the US Forest Service, one of our plants abuts their land" "WHY DID YOU NOT JUST SAY THE US FOREST SERVICE!?" "Why did I have to tell you what a DROP is, idiot." Three Olives fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Jan 13, 2024 |
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Jan 13, 2024 02:32
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Hi, who just joined?
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Jan 13, 2024 04:53
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Vampire Panties posted:we dont have to boil the ocean here no man poo poo no
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Jan 13, 2024 04:54
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Alright, before we start the meeting, let's go around and introduce ourselves... say your name, department, your favorite insect, and what you hope to accomplish with this project.
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Jan 13, 2024 04:58
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Montague Tigg posted:Alright, before we start the meeting, let's go around and introduce ourselves... say your name, department, your favorite insect, and what you hope to accomplish with this project. I'm Maybe from the dicksucking division. I like rhinoceros beetles and I hope to get laid.
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Jan 13, 2024 05:00
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Okay, since we didn't come to a consensus let's set up another meeting with Terry's team.
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Jan 13, 2024 05:04
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lotta SMEs ITT
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Jan 13, 2024 20:39
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Bad Purchase posted:lotta SMEs ITT said phonetically out loud "smee". did you ask your smee?
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Jan 13, 2024 20:40
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My SME is a POC
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Jan 13, 2024 20:41
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I saw a good one yesterday in a job description. They were looking for a good “dot connector”.
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Jan 13, 2024 21:10
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HR manager with the title of “diversity and inclusion” or something Meaning they send out a newsletter every few weeks and pocket $150k
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Jan 13, 2024 21:12
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I used ‘going forward’ in a justification the other day and felt like I needed to go home and shower.
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Jan 13, 2024 21:19
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All the managers started saying "come to jesus moment" constantly so I'm biding my time until I can bust out "come to Butthead moment"
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Jan 13, 2024 21:36
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:said phonetically out loud "smee". did you ask your smee? this poo poo caught me off guard the other day. I almost told the person "bless you"
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Jan 13, 2024 21:52
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I'm not sure this thread is providing value and we're going to have to put it on a PIP.
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Jan 13, 2024 23:45
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im going to refer this over to bob in accounting and see if he can't massage my prostate
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Jan 13, 2024 23:53
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Let's put together everything we talked about in a Confluence page.
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Jan 14, 2024 00:06
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The Moon Monster posted:All the managers started saying "come to jesus moment" constantly so I'm biding my time until I can bust out "come to Butthead moment" Hail Satan
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Jan 14, 2024 00:30
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Hey guys I just got back from an away day with a TOP PERFORMING ATHLETE speaker. Anyway we really need to slam dunk the touch down in our run up to the wicket. He said being a senior manager is actually a lot like being a top sports guy!!
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Jan 14, 2024 00:36
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Before we end this meeting I just have a quick question
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Jan 14, 2024 00:39
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No Agenda, No Attenda
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Jan 14, 2024 00:40
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*drops $25 Starbucks gift card on Ted’s desk for being a ROCK STAR*
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Jan 14, 2024 12:28
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Are we duplicating our efforts?
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Jan 14, 2024 12:53
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OK we've got our daily standup, then we've got our weekly sprint checkin, and then I'm going to throw another meeting on everyone's calendar so we can start planning for the next sprint. Make sure to have your action items loaded into Jira!
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Jan 14, 2024 14:49
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I'll be trailblazing this
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Jan 14, 2024 15:56
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Bula Vinaka posted:I'll be trailblazing this thank you for taking point. this entire project has had too many cooks
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Jan 14, 2024 15:59
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I feel like a lot of office terminology (and American terminology in general) can be traced back to military terms. Stuff like FUBAR (which is funny because you'd usually never say gently caress in the office), boots on the ground, in the trenches, over the top (this one also dates back to WW1, referring to going "over the top" of the trench). "Squared away" is another one that I kind of associate with folks that served, purely because I hear it more from military/ex-military/military adjacent people in the workspace. My experience is very skewed, though, since I come from one of those military caste families, and have done a lot of work in/around base towns. It's kind of like when I see someone put tabasco or ketchup on eggs, it's a signifier they might be at least adjacent, but not a sure thing. At least in the US, there's a lot of culture quirks that can be traced back to military stuff seeping into civilian lives. It's weird.
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Jan 14, 2024 16:22
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DicktheCat posted:I feel like a lot of office terminology (and American terminology in general) can be traced back to military terms. well, two things - at the end of ww2, most of the US officers became managers and executives so they'd naturally use that lingo and it would filter down into corpo-speak but also 80s  business warriors appropriated all that poo poo in a cocaine zeitgeist.
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Jan 14, 2024 16:26
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There's a lot of terms and practices that were developed in factories during and after WW2 that became standard in project management. That made it's way into the tech industry which turned it into Agile as a "gently caress you" to the rest of the world.
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Jan 14, 2024 17:40
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