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It's a beautiful summer day and you're out at the park, you are feeling thirsty and decide to hit up the water fountain. Finding it easily thanks to several signs, quite helpfully, showing you the way. You press the button and nothing happens, startlingly, a monitor on the wall next to you speaks. "Hello, thank you for your interest in our water. It's clean, cool, and delicious!", and then an ad starts to play with a timer to skip. 5 4 3 2 1 "Would you like to pay with cash or credit?" A screen appears with icons of the cards they accept and options for paying with device. At the bottom of the screen there is a login option with an option to register an account. This has been an odd encounter, but thirst is as thirst thirsts. You enable NFC on phone and hold it to the screen, which prompts a screen change to a worried emoji and the text "Sorry, you'll need to register an account to use contactless payment". You could have already left the park and gotten to a store and would already be quenched, but if coulds and woulds were hopes and dreams, we'd all be clinically depressed. You decide to sign up, it can't be a long process. The screen shifts to input boxes and you enter the expected things. Name and address, check. Email and phone number, Check. Date of birth and prefered colour, weird, but Check. Place of employment and primary care physician, ... maybe to notify them in the event of emergency(?), super weird, and whatever at this point because your tongue is starting to stick to your upper palette, Check. t = 63360/sl sm = ss*60 d = t/sm if d = 17.039073693993725 what is sl and subsequently sm? What? What the gently caress is this bullshit. You hastely enter 7.44 and 8.33, then are surprised it is correct. The screen switches over to a Welcome message that says "Congrats on your new account! Enter your payment information now or continue with an approved contactless payment method." You wave your phone over the screen again and it asks you to confirm the pricing plan as the screen fills with size 2 font. Now dying of dehydration you just hit yes, they can't possibly overcharge you too heavily for water, right? The water fountain chirps at you and a blue light inside the dispensor is now lit. You lean in and press the button with your mouth open expecting the refreshing cool water you so need. You're hit in the mouth with delicious and crispy water that's better than you've ever expected from an essential part of life. After 4 seconds a ping sound plays and the monitor warns you that you will be switched to a subscription model if you pass 5 seconds of drinking in one use. Damnit, thirst drives you to ignore this and continue to gussle down the sweet sweet dihydrogen monixide. Moments later you are sated and feeling much better. This is when the screen pings you again and as you look it shows in large letters, "Thank you for being a valued customer. You're bill for this transaction is $0.04. Would you like to purchase a cup for taking some water with you? The (7)oz cup will be $0.25. Would you like more than one?" The drink of water was four cents? Why even make you go through the hassle? To shill a paper cup for a quarter? No, you will not be subjected to such. You've taken what you needed and, surprisingly, not been ripped off. No idea what the indepth questions were for, but you agree to the cost and hit the 'NO CUP' button on the screen. Why would they give you the water for almost nothing? "Why?", you wonder, on the way to your car, "when it means nothing", you continue thinking as you enter the parking building, "compared to the price of a bottle of water at any store", as you mindlessly swipe your parking membership card to head to the elevator and ask yourself, "Does everything really need to nickel and", you are interupted in thought when you notice the elevator is indicating heavy traffic, "dime people for every...", you think as you swipe your card over the express elevator pad, "...thing it can these days?" You step out of the elevator and start turning left towards your car, or did you park to the right? You remember that you have the upgraded membership that lets you access the search terminal and have bought the expansion to allow your car to be noted and tracked. You agree to a 30% tip as it spits out FU-69 as your parking slot, but before the confirmation window pops up it asks if you would like to know more features available at a discounted membership option or see what is on the weekly sale for upgrades. You, mindlessly, swipe away the offer and walk to your car. Getting in your car you thank yourself for paying to not have ads before ignition, ha, not that you will with the 'No Ads While Driving' package. https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Jan 15, 2024 07:57
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| # ? May 3, 2024 14:36 |
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dandelions cost money now
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Jan 15, 2024 19:29
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ToastGhost posted:dandelions cost money now Dying financially as the kid keeps pulling them up to make the things float while we walk down the street. Good job TinyDoom, that was rent! |
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Jan 15, 2024 20:55
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Slapping the crosswalk button with my credit card because gently caress everyone else, I don't mind paying 2.99 to cross the street right now. |
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Jan 15, 2024 20:57
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What if we sold memberships to allow people to shop at our store? |
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Jan 15, 2024 20:59
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nesamdoom posted:Slapping the crosswalk button with my credit card because gently caress everyone else, I don't mind paying 2.99 to cross the street right now. That's delightfully evil |
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Jan 15, 2024 21:00
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Let's face it, blood glucose monitors are expensive, especially if you don't have insurance. Here at Google Pharmalabs, we've developed a continuous blood sugar monitor that's completely free! It uses Bluetooth technology to continuously track your blood glucose, sending alerts* to your phone if you are trending high or low, as determined by our advanced AI based algorithm. *alerts are also sent to our selected third party advertisers who will provide custom tailored advertisements according to your current blood glucose levels. |
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Jan 15, 2024 21:17
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Finger Prince posted:*alerts are also sent to our selected third party advertisers who will provide custom tailored advertisements according to your current blood glucose levels. Can't wait to get alerts on when I might need a Hershey's bar |
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Jan 15, 2024 21:36
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I don't have time to monitor myself when I'm already burning stamina crystals(totally not meth) to speed up my work day. Gotta grind out these dollars to convert them to gems and see if I can unlock a family. |
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Jan 15, 2024 21:38
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nesamdoom posted:Can't wait to get alerts on when I might need a Hershey's bar Sorry, it's just hot single moms in your area. Maybe they can give you a soda. |
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Jan 15, 2024 21:43
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Finger Prince posted:Sorry, it's just hot single moms in your area. Maybe they can give you a soda. You have a message from a neighbour! Only $5.99 to subscribe and read all messages. |
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Jan 15, 2024 22:02
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only has enough money for 5 days of Life per month |
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Jan 16, 2024 01:49
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| # ? May 3, 2024 14:36 |
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011524_3 posted:only has enough money for 5 days of Life per month Are you on the Upload(gently caress yea amazon prime) model of low data? Do you need someone to pay to keep you alive for a couple more hours????????????? https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Jan 16, 2024 04:27
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