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software was not meant to scale.
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Jan 23, 2024 22:58
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unlike lizards
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Jan 23, 2024 23:00
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gonna start referring to refactoring as molting
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Jan 23, 2024 23:25
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why doesn’t poo poo rear end postgresql community nerd edition have encryption at rest? is it because it’ll break the perfect vision of their perfect codebase? assholes have this on the docket for years
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Jan 24, 2024 00:04
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Armitag3 posted:why doesn’t poo poo rear end postgresql community nerd edition have encryption at rest? is it because it’ll break the perfect vision of their perfect codebase? assholes have this on the docket for years word on the street is that you care about databases lol
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Jan 24, 2024 00:45
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obviously there's only one database anyone should use confluence databases
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Jan 24, 2024 00:54
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Armitag3 posted:why doesn’t poo poo rear end postgresql community nerd edition have encryption at rest? is it because it’ll break the perfect vision of their perfect codebase? assholes have this on the docket for years isnt their answer to this 'just encrypt your data partition'
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Jan 24, 2024 00:57
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we’ve been forced to use some vc backed garbage called snowflake
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Jan 24, 2024 01:01
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i have been having on ongoing conversation with a customer who wants to know how to build a transactional guarantee between two different databases. i’ve told them multiple times that if i knew how to do that then id have sold my company years ago and be kicking it in the caribbean. they just won’t drop it and seem to be convinced that i really do know how but im just withholding the information from them for some reason. also other databases can do that so why can’t you? they’re building a system where a different database and ours have to remain in sync but it has to be bidirectional because what’s a system of record? they could just tell the business that no they can’t have that but i’m guessing they already promised it before they knew wtf they were doing love to watch slow motion train wrecks
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Jan 24, 2024 01:06
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akadajet posted:we’ve been forced to use some vc backed garbage called snowflake seriously? lol might as well have called it big girls blouse
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Jan 24, 2024 01:11
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PIZZA.BAT posted:i have been having on ongoing conversation with a customer who wants to know how to build a transactional guarantee between two different databases. i’ve told them multiple times that if i knew how to do that then id have sold my company years ago and be kicking it in the caribbean. they just won’t drop it and seem to be convinced that i really do know how but im just withholding the information from them for some reason. also other databases can do that so why can’t you? sounds like a use for blockchain op
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Jan 24, 2024 01:12
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PIZZA.BAT posted:i have been having on ongoing conversation with a customer who wants to know how to build a transactional guarantee between two different databases. i’ve told them multiple times that if i knew how to do that then id have sold my company years ago and be kicking it in the caribbean. they just won’t drop it and seem to be convinced that i really do know how but im just withholding the information from them for some reason. also other databases can do that so why can’t you? create a third database that both of the others query. bing bong so simple
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Jan 24, 2024 01:17
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mssql everywhere, badly configured, i am nominally the most qualified person to deal with this but gently caress no i keep insisting we get a db person or at least consultant in here to fix this shitttttttttttttt
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Jan 24, 2024 02:32
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polyester concept posted:create a third database that both of the others query. bing bong so simple why not just one big database that contains all possible databases? echinopsis fucked around with this message at 02:39 on Jan 24, 2024 |
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Jan 24, 2024 02:36
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this database schema describes all databases except those that describe themselves
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Jan 24, 2024 04:26
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the first database only responds truthfully to your queries. the second database only lies. the third database keeps the two in sync
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Jan 24, 2024 05:14
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the fourth database? we don’t talk about that one
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Jan 24, 2024 05:14
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hi, op. I don’t know about databases but I don’t think that you “scale” webs. pretty sure you “surf”them instead. hth
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Jan 24, 2024 07:01
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Cat Face Joe posted:my favorite database is the 18 meg excel file every director keeps a copy of and is also on sharepoint hi joe, i think my copy of the database is out of date. can you email me the updated version? best regards, fart simpson
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Jan 24, 2024 07:50
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I remember a blog post by a guy who was on the mysql team at oracle and then left and he himself told you to use postgres instead ("and don't believe for a second that mariadb is any better, monty and his merry men left because of the new governance not because of the mess they created"). The post is now gone and has also been deleted from the waybackmachine, lol.
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Jan 24, 2024 08:10
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Against SQL
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Jan 24, 2024 08:11
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sick of all these MarvelDB SQLs
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Jan 24, 2024 10:19
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quote:Javascript is crazy too! Javascript has improved dramatically over the last decade or two, to the point that compatibility between different vendors is almost complete. But imagine a javascript without libraries, without polyfills, where functions couldn't take collections as arguments and where for loops had a different syntax in each engine. I would, for the record, totally endorse a SQL STRICT MODE which discarded all the silly edge cases and produced a simpler, more orthogonal language. But the database vendors have no incentive to do this - SQL is their moat. 
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Jan 24, 2024 14:53
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sql is not good but the alternatives are usually worse also, as many warts as sql has, the theoretical foundations are rock solid and the basics are not that hard to understand. a precious blessing, these days
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Jan 24, 2024 14:56
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nah, sql is poo poo. the theoretical foundations (i.e. relational algebra) being good is no point in its favor when most other query tools get *closer* to those foundations than sql itself. also as a generality query optimization is a misfeature.
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Jan 24, 2024 16:02
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idk i just ask for the rows where a column has a certain value, seems fine to me
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Jan 24, 2024 22:23
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Cybernetic Vermin posted:also as a generality query optimization is a misfeature. but the query planner makes so many fun little logic puzzles for me to solve though??? on a more serious note, tell me about some good sql alternatives? i'll admit not being very up to date here
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Jan 24, 2024 23:51
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rotor posted:gonna start referring to refactoring as molting software only scales when it is VERY distressed
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Jan 24, 2024 23:59
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TheFluff posted:but the query planner makes so many fun little logic puzzles for me to solve though??? there's none, because all the (potentially) viable sql alternatives are attached to a non-viable database
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Jan 25, 2024 00:37
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post hole digger posted:software only scales when it is VERY distressed frankly, true
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Jan 25, 2024 01:16
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customer opened a ticket asking why their 2 GB sidecar querying pods are getting OOM killed when they try to pull 80 million records in a single request motherfucker i set you guys up with a spark cluster! use it!!! also i’ve explained the concept of pagination multiple times! gently caress
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Mar 3, 2024 00:19
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i feel like people dont really need all this computing power. its all induced demand.
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Mar 3, 2024 00:22
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rotor posted:i feel like people dont really need all this computing power. its all induced demand.
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Mar 3, 2024 00:27
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i taught myself sql on the prod db tables, and was not provided any documentation on the tables and columns “select * from orders” ok kill it after 3 seconds so i can look at the column labels - oo nice “select * from orders where order_date > ‘1993-06-01’ and order_date < ‘1993-06-30’ and plant = ‘2’” i wonder what plant 2 is? is there a plants table? “select * from plants” kill it af… oo it completed. plant 2 is… shelbyville? etc i am surprised i did not get murdered by the dbas. there might not have been any dbas.
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Mar 3, 2024 01:20
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i would have murdered whoever gave you access while using it as a learning opportunity for you
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Mar 3, 2024 02:48
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PIZZA.BAT posted:i would have murdered whoever gave you access while using it as a learning opportunity for you learning sql or learning murder?
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Mar 3, 2024 03:04
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do people like Malloy?
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Mar 3, 2024 05:01
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i use postgres at home, and most of the stuff i've written that touches it uses entity framework 
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Mar 3, 2024 05:20
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a wise man by name of ahmeni once said a stateless app is the perfectly spherical cow of sre
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Mar 3, 2024 05:26
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rotor posted:i feel like people dont really need all this computing power. its all induced demand. shaggar says induced demand is fictional
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Mar 3, 2024 05:27
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