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So it's come to my attention that Watership Down, a book based on a film for children, is chockablock with scenes of extreme violence, depression and terror!!! I think it needs some serious revisions to be made child appropriate (as a film and book about anthropomorphic bunnies should be), otherwise it may be BANNED from our libraries and video rental stores. Please help me make some positive plot changes so that we can keep these beloved but disturbing pieces of media on the shelves!! Ex: -hazel and fiver's home warren is flooded with laughing gas instead of poison gas, and the two protagonists later hear from a roaming survivor about the super fun party they missed! -Bigwig wears an actual, really funny, wig!
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Jan 30, 2024 01:30
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| # ? May 3, 2024 16:05 |
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the rabbits who refuse to leave are not getting picked off by the farmer and are just agoraphobic and trying their hardest their poetry club is now a slam poetry club
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Jan 30, 2024 01:32
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Kids need to learn that world world is full of callous violence and disappointment early op 
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Jan 30, 2024 01:37
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Wait wut are they seriously considering these These Owlsa are going too far, time too move. Where's Clowslips Warren at
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Jan 30, 2024 01:39
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The rabbits all leave the farm and wander the woods (safely) until they find a very nice Abbey with a buncha mice who're obsessed with feeding them 
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Jan 30, 2024 01:46
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 Don't worry guys I'll continue to ruin the youth of the nation
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Jan 30, 2024 01:48
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Treecko posted:
are those other books good? i had no idea there was any other watership down material
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Jan 30, 2024 01:50
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rear end-penny posted:Kids need to learn that world world is full of callous violence and disappointment early op Sad but true
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Jan 30, 2024 01:53
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Aww, why's the dog got stitches? That's a Mama dog. Are they gonna be OK? yeah kiddo, they're gonna be just fine
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Jan 30, 2024 01:54
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Treecko posted:
by reading it upside down, isn't he still reading Watership Up tho
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Jan 30, 2024 01:56
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Earwicker posted:are those other books good? i had no idea there was any other watership down material Plague dogs is heartbreaking, but not related to Watership Downs directly. It also was a wonderful cartoon! Tales is...you know I haven't read it in over a decade. Guess I found tonight's bedtime story!
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Jan 30, 2024 02:02
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No Watership Down, no Velveteen Rabbit, no Love You Forever, none of that poo poo. And you can shove that dvd copy of Up! right in the garbage.
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Jan 30, 2024 02:04
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free hubcaps
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Jan 30, 2024 02:20
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a whole lot of loving
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Jan 30, 2024 02:47
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They built a Maccas over the old warren land, and Kehaar lived happily forever
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Jan 30, 2024 03:21
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Fiver is a bit too clever. Make him about 10% more stupid. Otherwise, WD is my favorite book of all time.
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Jan 30, 2024 03:30
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Jan 30, 2024 03:53
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As long as the prologue with Frith and El-Ahrairah stays unaltered, it’s all good. Leave it be. But to alter it for less violence: “The field! The field is covered with *different voice actor* [FRUIT PUNCH]!”
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Jan 30, 2024 04:09
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they take a trip to hawaii and bigwig wins the dancing contest and they give him the most beautiful and best-fitting lei on the entire island!
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Jan 30, 2024 04:15
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Call Your Grandma posted:they take a trip to hawaii and bigwig wins the dancing contest and they give him the most beautiful and best-fitting lei on the entire island! This was a Garfield TV special. There was also a ‘50s greaser ghost and a ‘57 Chevy involved.
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Jan 30, 2024 04:26
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rabbits can now count to six
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Jan 30, 2024 04:43
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Call Your Grandma posted:they take a trip to hawaii and bigwig wins the dancing contest and they give him the most beautiful and best-fitting lei on the entire island! Look Bigwig, 
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Jan 30, 2024 04:51
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How about they die like in the original, but they can't talk or think and don't have names?
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Jan 30, 2024 04:55
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Kehaar Theories Ladies and Gentlemen. Kehaar is the greatest mystery of Watership Down. We know little of his motives, his history, or secret plan to dominate the world. His secret plan you may ask? To control everything in the world, and lead a revolution against avocados. He plans to team up with Bigwig and create a massive empire. But where does this all start? Well, for that, we need to go back, far back, to the creation of time itself. At first, there was nothing. Then, from the darkness, two beings appeared. Kehaar and the Avocado. One pure evil, the other life and good. A world was created, a battleground for the primordial beings. Kehaar and the Holy Avocado fought night after night, but the Avocado prevailed. Kehaar was banished, his soul being split into hundreds of parts. Pass forward 100,000,000 years, and rabbits have come to existence. The avocados ruled the world, and world avocado (or world peace in our terms) has been achieved. But some traitorous humans have decided to follow the way of darkness, the path of Kehaar. The pieces of Kehaar’s soul are spread throughout Earth, hidden in deep dark places, where no mortal should ever wonder. Kehaar’s loyal followers labored to return Kehaar back to his old glory, and they would stop at nothing to get it. They had collected every single piece of his soul except for one, guarded by the one and only Frith, along with the Black Rabbit on Inle and El – ahrairah. Only once all the pieces were reunited would he be able to conquer the world. However, his followers could not defeat Frith and the rest alone, for they were simply to strong. However, they had hope. With almost all the pieces of Kehaar’s soul together, they made a weaker version of him. He was a simple bird, but once he had his soul back, he would be a god. But for now, he could not fight Frith. He was simply to weak. Though it might seem like he was doomed, he had one last trick up his sleeve. Kehaar could trick the trickster. A trick even El – ahrairah could not pull off. He would join a band of adventurous rabbits, letting them go on an amazing adventure, persevering through perilous trials and deadly foes. They would attract the attention of El – ahrairah himself, and when he would retrieve the leader of the rabbit’s to join his Owsla, whoever that may be, he would follow them to the secret location of his soul piece, and from there he could rule the world, destroying avocado’s and peace forever. The world would be under his wing, and he could go on to dominate the universe. However, he did have a problem. How would he convince the rabbits to go on an adventure? He searched for the proper candidates to pull off his plan, and he stumbled upon two rabbits. Woundwort and Bigwig. They assembled in a secret location and began to discuss the plan. Woundwort and Bigwig both hungered for power and were easily swayed to his side for a position of power when he conquered the world. When they returned to their homes, Bigwig immediately set to work, spicing Fiver’s carrots, and causing him to hallucinate. Bigwig gently began to trick a band of rabbits into the adventure. He was the one who guided them to Watership Down, and it was he who intentionally made sure no does came. Now, it was up to Woundwort and Kehaar to do the rest. Kehaar arrived at the warren, using his feeble powers to create an illusion that he was weak. The rabbits brought him food, and soon he and Bigwig reconvened. They discussed how they would move forward, Kehaar soon took flight to Woundwort’s secret meeting location and informed him of the new developments. He soon returned and informed the rabbits of the location of the Efrafan warren. When the rabbits arrived at Efrafa and were held prisoner, Woundwort ordered the guards to pretend like they could not capture the escapees as Hazel’s embassy bolted. Soon Bigwig journeyed to Efrafa, and began to recruit the does into the plan. As they escaped, Kehaar flew over to Bigwig and helped guide the boat to the shore. Kehaar then secretly flew over to the barnyard and told the dog of his plan. When all was set in stone, Kehaar ordered Woundwort to begin the invasion. Bigwig once again spiked Fiver’s carrots to cause him to hallucinate and have vision, and Kehaar used what little powers he had to give Hazel the idea of the dog. Hazel, Dandelion, and Blackberry set off to the dog. The plan was almost complete. Soon, Kehaar would rein forever in glory. The dog chased the rabbits back into the camp, and soon met Woundwort. They began the fake duel, and Woundwort was carried away by the scruff of his fur by the vicious hound. Now, it was simply a waiting game. Bigwig and Woundwort had got their hands on immortality carrots that were gifted to them by Kehaar, and could wait as long as they wanted too. Soon, Kehaar came to them. “Hurry, now is the time. El -ahrairah has retrieved Hazel from the warren. We must act quickly and follow them. “ The rabbits jumped onto Kehaar’s back, and quickly raced off, pursuing El – ahrairah to the location of the final piece of Kehaar’s soul. They journeyed for miles, the rabbits racing across the surface of the Big Vater. They soon arrived at a massive temple, made from the holiest avocados. A lake of Guacamole cut through the countryside with avocado forests covering the landscape. Their was statues of avocados everywhere, leading up to the temple, where there was an army of rabbits guarding the final piece of Kehaar’s soul. Suddenly, an avocado riding rabbit riding a bird flew up next to them and spoke “This is Guac one, please stand down. You are in restricted air space.” Woundwort leaped onto the bird with the avocado on a rabbit. Woundwort sliced up the avocado and shoved the rabbit off of the bird. He sank his fangs deep into the bird’s back, and it went spiraling down. As the ground quickly approached, he jumped off the doomed bird and onto Kehaar. Two more avocados riding rabbit riding birds flew next to them. “This is Guac Squadron. Prepare to be boarded.” A crane flew between Kehaar and Guac Squadron, lowering its neck to form a bridge. Bigwig leaped onto the crane, cuffing it in the back of its head, then back flipped onto Kehaar as the crane went spiraling down. Suddenly, a carrot skimmed Kehaar’s wing. Carrot missiles! Rabbit fighters flew all over. Their carrot shaped design with bird engines on the back made them perfect for ambushing other bird-planes. Woundwort knew what he had to do. Grabbing lettuces from his saddlebag, he chucked them at the rabbit fighters. He landed a direct hit to one, and the pilot was blinded. A cloud of feathers rose from where the rabbit crashed. Two more fighters launched grappling hooks made from threaded lettuce onto Kehaar’s wing, and he soon went spiraling. The fighters pulled away, and the ropes went taught. “We have you captured. Don’t try to resist.” Of course, Bigwig and Woundwort did the exact thing they were told not to do and jumped onto the fighters, taking one each. Rabbit clawed and shoved at each other, but ultimately, they could not resist the might of Bigwig and Woundwort, and were sent crashing into the ground after Bigwig and Woundwort gnawed off the ropes. Kehaar landed into a forest of avocados, the trees providing cover from searching birds. Bigwig spoke up. “We must take the temple before they shore up the defenses. This is the only chance we’ve got. We break in through the roof, get Kehaar’s soul, and break out. “I agree,” said Woundwort. “This may be the best chance we’ve got. They know where here.” Kehaar gathered the rabbits upon his back, making sure they were equip for everything. They tied a rope around his waist and took off, Kehaar flying low to avoid detection. Yet soon fighters were upon them, circling around. Kehaar’s rabbits fended off the onslaught the best they could as they closed in on the temple. When they arrived at the temple, they dropped carrot bombs, blowing a hole in the roof. Bigwig grabbed the rope by Kehaar’s waist and quickly dropped down to get it. As he was about to get the soul piece, he was attached to the wall by some sort of green gooey glob. It was guacamole. He tried to resist it the best he could, but the guacamole stayed strong. But the only thing that can shoot guacamole was… he froze. The Holy Avocado stared at him. “Well, what a surprise. I mean it actually was a surprise. I was not expecting it. But how dare you attack my temple! Why do you try to steal this ancient artifact! We have peace! What are you accomplishing by stealing this!” Frith, the Black Rabbit of Inle, and El – ahrairah emerged from behind the Holy Avocado. He was doomed. Suddenly, Kehaar jumped down and seized the last piece of his soul. He absorbed it, and for a moment, nothing happened. Then, he shone black, darkness engulfing him. Everyone took a step back as he grew and grew. Power coursed through his veins, and his shroud of darkness fell. He had morphed into a sort of humanoid creature, yet he was made from pure darkness. Purple veins ran down the side of his neck, and he turned to Woundwort and Bigwig, who were stunned at what had just occurred. Kehaar sent out his powers to them, and he told them to attack the rabbits who were supporting the gods. Bigwig and Woundwort scuttled off to begin their fight. Kehaar turned to the gods, and a thin smile grew over his face as Frith, the Black Rabbit, El – ahrairah, and the Holy Avocado faced him. “Now. Where were we?” Bigwig and Woundwort charged at the Praetorian guards of Kehaar’s soul, and a bloody battle ensued. Even with the powers of El – ahrairah flowing through them, the rabbits couldn’t come close to the powers Bigwig and Woundwort had. Cuffing rabbits left and right, they pummeled through the guards line. Avocado bombers flew overhead, yet they did little to stop the steady progress of the two death inducing rabbits. No one could stand in their way, and even a rabbit fighter plane ramming directly into Bigwig couldn’t stop these beasts. A new guard pushed his way through wave of soldiers and called out. “BIGWIG!” It was Hazel. Kehaar doubled, than tripled his size. He towered down upon the other gods, but the Holy Avocado grew to match his size. Kehaar merged his legs together and formed a snake tail. An armor of darkness rose around him as fangs grew from his mouth and wings sprouting from his back. He turned to face the Holy Avocado to see that it too changed its form. It had dawned green armor, angelic wings attached to his back. He unsheathed a green avocado sword, and spoke in a thunderous voice. “It’s over Kehaar. You cannot defeat me. You’ve lost once and you’ll lose again.” “Well, maybe. But your world wont be alive long enough to see it!” And with that, Kehaar sent a wave of darkness crashing over the Holy Avocado. He sent his powers throughout the land, causing trees to wither, the leaves turning brittle and dry. Black flames erupted throughout the land as Kehaar continued his destruction. Frith blasted him with the sun, but he simply brushed it aside. He grabbed Frith by the throat and slammed him into the ground. He unsheathed his sword, raised it high over his head, and brought it down upon Frith, only to be met with the hiss of swords clashing. He turned and he saw the Holy Avocado. Bigwig stared in shock at Hazel. The whole world seemed to slow down as Hazel looked him with pain in his eyes. Bigwig remembered all the journeys they made, the tricks they had pulled off, all the, all the… he collapsed to his paws. Hazel looked at him with sadness in his eyes as he too remembered everything they had done. Then, his face hardened. Two rabbit fighter planes flew passed him and lassoed Bigwig by the two front legs. Another two circled around and lassoed up his hind legs. They stretched him out, holding him in the position. He tried to wiggle free from the ropes of lettuce, but it would not budge. He was stuck. He looked down at the battle and saw Hazel, tears welling in his eyes. Bigwig knew these were fake. Hazel didn’t care for him. Dandelion didn’t care for him. No one did. Bigwig went berserk. Kehaar battled the Holy Avocado, jabbing and stabbing, parrying and striking. He sent waves of his power at the Holy Avocado, but it had little effect. He changed form, turning into a towering bear, striking down upon the Holy Avocado. He then shrunk to a rabbit, ran behind him, and struck at him as a lion. Yet his powers were still fading. The Holy Avocado jabbed at him, and he retreated to the shore of the guacamole river. Taunting him, the Holy Avocado said, “Enjoy the bath,” and shoved him in. The guacamole burned through Kehaar as he was was pulled under the current. His powers could not stop this much guacamole, and he soon passed out. With all of Bigwig’s strength, he pulled one of the planes into him, and used that to crash into the rest. The ropes went taut and then snapped, and as the planes spiraled back down towards the battlefield, he jumped off. He bounded across an open field, descending upon a group of guards. They jabbed with their carrot spears, yet he simply snapped them in half and cuffed them. He turned around, only to be met with Hazel. “NOW! LETS FINISH THIS!” Hazel looked at Bigwig, memories flashing through his mind. He hoisted his carrot spear and unhooked his lettuce shield. He looked down, sadness flowing through his thoughts. He snapped his head back to Bigwig. “Yes,” he said softly, voice trembling. “We shall finish this.” Bigwig charged in, leaping with his sword ready. Hazel simply stepped to the side. Bigwig swung around a jabbed at Hazel, yet he simply ducked the attack. He jumped at Hazel to pin him down, yet Hazel was too quick. Bigwig screamed in frustration. He hacked and slashed to no avail, Hazel simply dodging each attack. He never attacked, just dodged. Bigwig threw his sword at Hazel, yet Hazel was already gone. Bigwig pulled a carrot spear off a downed rabbit and turned to face Hazel. “You are a fool for trying to resist Kehaar’s reign. He is a god! And I shall be one too! Defeating you shall be a mere footnote in my greatness. Bow to me or be destroyed!” Hazel just stood there, his face blank. Bigwig charged once again to no avail, Hazel moving to quick for him. In an instant, Hazel circled Bigwig thrice with a rope of braided lettuce and pulled, causing Bigwig’s hind legs and his frontal legs to be held in place. Hazel tied a knot with the remaining rope and then dragged him by his front paws. Bigwig laughed as he stared into the sunset. Hazel turned to look at what Bigwig was laughing at when he saw it. All of Kehaar’s followers were had arrived. And they were on birds. When they got the distress call, they immediately took to the sky. Rabbits screamed into the leatucecom (or intercom as we call it) that all units should enter their ships. “All units, prepare for take off. We have a distress signal from over the Big Vater coming from Hazel. Prepare for take off. Carrot squad, you have permission to take off. Lettuce Squad, you are a go.” Birds took to the sky in an attempt to reach the Holy Avocado in time to save them, knowing that the world would be doomed without it. While Hazel hadn’t said much, he had said that their was enemy birds in the sky and that Bigwig was evil along with Kehaar and Woundwort. The enemy birds that began to attack El -ahrairah’ s Owsla were met with heavy anti – Bird-Craft. Lettuce nets took down birds left and right, but there was just too many. Many of Kehaar’s followers had already landed and begun fighting the Owsla, getting covering fire from their birds. El – ahrairah’ s Owsla desperately tried to launch planes off the runway, and while their was some success in launching, the planes themselves didn’t make much of a difference. Hazel looked in the distance, looking for the backup he had called in. Destruction had encircled him, yet he stared at the sun, hoping with a faint glimmer of hope that backup would arrive. He hung his in defeat when suddenly, a bird appeared. One, two, three birds! Four! Soon, two squadrons of birds came flying over the Big Vater. The Watership Down army had arrived! “This is carrot leader. All units take your positions.” “Roger that. This is carrot 2 calling in” “Carrot three taking formation” The rabbit squadrons soon took formations as they approached the battlefield. All rabbits knew that this would be a hard fought battle, but they knew they could win. As they engaged the enemy, squad members went down all around them. Carrot missiles flew back and forth, lettuce nets taking ships down. The Watership Down landing boats had begun to arrive as a second wave of Bird-Craft (aircraft) was launched from Bird-craft carriers (aircraft carriers). It viciously horrid fighting, the deadliest the Avocadoian world had ever faced, and many rabbit went down on both sides. Kehaar crawled up from the shore of the avocado river. He wiped himself off and looked up, only to see Frith and the Holy Avocado staring at him. He transformed into bird and took to the sky’s, but Frith magic blasted him back down. The Holy Avocado trapped him to the floor with guacamole glue, which also had the effect of subduing his powers. They looked at him is disgust. “Look what you have done,” said Frith. Frith grabbed his head and forced him to look at the rabbits fighting, birds crashing to the ground, the ground being set ablaze. “Order your followers to stop and retreat. Stop this from escalating any further.” Kehaar looked upon the land. Death followed wherever he looked. Both sides lost, no matter who won. He was Kehaar though. The destined one, he show would rule forever. No one could stop him for he was a god. Even while he was captured, he wouldn’t go down without a fight.He simply stood there, laughing at the destruction he had caused. Despite the hard-fought battle, Kehaar’s followers were finally defeated. Woundwort was swarmed, and without the help of Bigwig, he was overwhelmed. Kehaar, Bigwig, and Woundwort were locked up never to be seen again. Rabbits and avocados prospered forever, with World Avocado being restored once again. And everyone lived happily ever after… except for the people who were thrown in jail… forever. So, why is this important to your life you maybe be wondering. This is incredibly important because while Kehaar might be evil, it includes both Kehaar and the Holy Avocado, so it is basically a must-read. You are required by law to read it. Besides that, I am pretty much just writing to make this ending paragraph look longer so you probably could have looked away a very long time ago if you really wanted too and I realize this is indeed a run-on sentence as I have written for way to long and made this really awkward.
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Jan 30, 2024 05:00
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Victor Vermis posted:Kehaar Theories Ladies and Gentlemen. Kehaar is the greatest mystery of Watership Down. We know little of his motives, his history, or secret plan to dominate the world. His secret plan you may ask? To control everything in the world, and lead a revolution against avocados. He plans to team up with Bigwig and create a massive empire. But where does this all start? Well, for that, we need to go back, far back, to the creation of time itself. At first, there was nothing. Then, from the darkness, two beings appeared. Kehaar and the Avocado. One pure evil, the other life and good. A world was created, a battleground for the primordial beings. Kehaar and the Holy Avocado fought night after night, but the Avocado prevailed. Kehaar was banished, his soul being split into hundreds of parts. Pass forward 100,000,000 years, and rabbits have come to existence. The avocados ruled the world, and world avocado (or world peace in our terms) has been achieved. But some traitorous humans have decided to follow the way of darkness, the path of Kehaar. The pieces of Kehaar’s soul are spread throughout Earth, hidden in deep dark places, where no mortal should ever wonder. Kehaar’s loyal followers labored to return Kehaar back to his old glory, and they would stop at nothing to get it. They had collected every single piece of his soul except for one, guarded by the one and only Frith, along with the Black Rabbit on Inle and El – ahrairah. Only once all the pieces were reunited would he be able to conquer the world. However, his followers could not defeat Frith and the rest alone, for they were simply to strong. However, they had hope. With almost all the pieces of Kehaar’s soul together, they made a weaker version of him. He was a simple bird, but once he had his soul back, he would be a god. But for now, he could not fight Frith. He was simply to weak. Though it might seem like he was doomed, he had one last trick up his sleeve. Kehaar could trick the trickster. A trick even El – ahrairah could not pull off. He would join a band of adventurous rabbits, letting them go on an amazing adventure, persevering through perilous trials and deadly foes. They would attract the attention of El – ahrairah himself, and when he would retrieve the leader of the rabbit’s to join his Owsla, whoever that may be, he would follow them to the secret location of his soul piece, and from there he could rule the world, destroying avocado’s and peace forever. The world would be under his wing, and he could go on to dominate the universe. However, he did have a problem. How would he convince the rabbits to go on an adventure? He searched for the proper candidates to pull off his plan, and he stumbled upon two rabbits. Woundwort and Bigwig. They assembled in a secret location and began to discuss the plan. Woundwort and Bigwig both hungered for power and were easily swayed to his side for a position of power when he conquered the world. When they returned to their homes, Bigwig immediately set to work, spicing Fiver’s carrots, and causing him to hallucinate. Bigwig gently began to trick a band of rabbits into the adventure. He was the one who guided them to Watership Down, and it was he who intentionally made sure no does came. Now, it was up to Woundwort and Kehaar to do the rest. Kehaar arrived at the warren, using his feeble powers to create an illusion that he was weak. The rabbits brought him food, and soon he and Bigwig reconvened. They discussed how they would move forward, Kehaar soon took flight to Woundwort’s secret meeting location and informed him of the new developments. He soon returned and informed the rabbits of the location of the Efrafan warren. When the rabbits arrived at Efrafa and were held prisoner, Woundwort ordered the guards to pretend like they could not capture the escapees as Hazel’s embassy bolted. Soon Bigwig journeyed to Efrafa, and began to recruit the does into the plan. As they escaped, Kehaar flew over to Bigwig and helped guide the boat to the shore. Kehaar then secretly flew over to the barnyard and told the dog of his plan. When all was set in stone, Kehaar ordered Woundwort to begin the invasion. Bigwig once again spiked Fiver’s carrots to cause him to hallucinate and have vision, and Kehaar used what little powers he had to give Hazel the idea of the dog. Hazel, Dandelion, and Blackberry set off to the dog. The plan was almost complete. Soon, Kehaar would rein forever in glory. The dog chased the rabbits back into the camp, and soon met Woundwort. They began the fake duel, and Woundwort was carried away by the scruff of his fur by the vicious hound. Now, it was simply a waiting game. Bigwig and Woundwort had got their hands on immortality carrots that were gifted to them by Kehaar, and could wait as long as they wanted too. Soon, Kehaar came to them. “Hurry, now is the time. El -ahrairah has retrieved Hazel from the warren. We must act quickly and follow them. “ The rabbits jumped onto Kehaar’s back, and quickly raced off, pursuing El – ahrairah to the location of the final piece of Kehaar’s soul. They journeyed for miles, the rabbits racing across the surface of the Big Vater. They soon arrived at a massive temple, made from the holiest avocados. A lake of Guacamole cut through the countryside with avocado forests covering the landscape. Their was statues of avocados everywhere, leading up to the temple, where there was an army of rabbits guarding the final piece of Kehaar’s soul. Suddenly, an avocado riding rabbit riding a bird flew up next to them and spoke “This is Guac one, please stand down. You are in restricted air space.” Woundwort leaped onto the bird with the avocado on a rabbit. Woundwort sliced up the avocado and shoved the rabbit off of the bird. He sank his fangs deep into the bird’s back, and it went spiraling down. As the ground quickly approached, he jumped off the doomed bird and onto Kehaar. Two more avocados riding rabbit riding birds flew next to them. “This is Guac Squadron. Prepare to be boarded.” A crane flew between Kehaar and Guac Squadron, lowering its neck to form a bridge. Bigwig leaped onto the crane, cuffing it in the back of its head, then back flipped onto Kehaar as the crane went spiraling down. Suddenly, a carrot skimmed Kehaar’s wing. Carrot missiles! Rabbit fighters flew all over. Their carrot shaped design with bird engines on the back made them perfect for ambushing other bird-planes. Woundwort knew what he had to do. Grabbing lettuces from his saddlebag, he chucked them at the rabbit fighters. He landed a direct hit to one, and the pilot was blinded. A cloud of feathers rose from where the rabbit crashed. Two more fighters launched grappling hooks made from threaded lettuce onto Kehaar’s wing, and he soon went spiraling. The fighters pulled away, and the ropes went taught. “We have you captured. Don’t try to resist.” Of course, Bigwig and Woundwort did the exact thing they were told not to do and jumped onto the fighters, taking one each. Rabbit clawed and shoved at each other, but ultimately, they could not resist the might of Bigwig and Woundwort, and were sent crashing into the ground after Bigwig and Woundwort gnawed off the ropes. Kehaar landed into a forest of avocados, the trees providing cover from searching birds. Bigwig spoke up. “We must take the temple before they shore up the defenses. This is the only chance we’ve got. We break in through the roof, get Kehaar’s soul, and break out. “I agree,” said Woundwort. “This may be the best chance we’ve got. They know where here.” Kehaar gathered the rabbits upon his back, making sure they were equip for everything. They tied a rope around his waist and took off, Kehaar flying low to avoid detection. Yet soon fighters were upon them, circling around. Kehaar’s rabbits fended off the onslaught the best they could as they closed in on the temple. When they arrived at the temple, they dropped carrot bombs, blowing a hole in the roof. Bigwig grabbed the rope by Kehaar’s waist and quickly dropped down to get it. As he was about to get the soul piece, he was attached to the wall by some sort of green gooey glob. It was guacamole. He tried to resist it the best he could, but the guacamole stayed strong. But the only thing that can shoot guacamole was… he froze. The Holy Avocado stared at him. “Well, what a surprise. I mean it actually was a surprise. I was not expecting it. But how dare you attack my temple! Why do you try to steal this ancient artifact! We have peace! What are you accomplishing by stealing this!” Frith, the Black Rabbit of Inle, and El – ahrairah emerged from behind the Holy Avocado. He was doomed. Suddenly, Kehaar jumped down and seized the last piece of his soul. He absorbed it, and for a moment, nothing happened. Then, he shone black, darkness engulfing him. Everyone took a step back as he grew and grew. Power coursed through his veins, and his shroud of darkness fell. He had morphed into a sort of humanoid creature, yet he was made from pure darkness. Purple veins ran down the side of his neck, and he turned to Woundwort and Bigwig, who were stunned at what had just occurred. Kehaar sent out his powers to them, and he told them to attack the rabbits who were supporting the gods. Bigwig and Woundwort scuttled off to begin their fight. Kehaar turned to the gods, and a thin smile grew over his face as Frith, the Black Rabbit, El – ahrairah, and the Holy Avocado faced him. “Now. Where were we?” Bigwig and Woundwort charged at the Praetorian guards of Kehaar’s soul, and a bloody battle ensued. Even with the powers of El – ahrairah flowing through them, the rabbits couldn’t come close to the powers Bigwig and Woundwort had. Cuffing rabbits left and right, they pummeled through the guards line. Avocado bombers flew overhead, yet they did little to stop the steady progress of the two death inducing rabbits. No one could stand in their way, and even a rabbit fighter plane ramming directly into Bigwig couldn’t stop these beasts. A new guard pushed his way through wave of soldiers and called out. “BIGWIG!” It was Hazel. Kehaar doubled, than tripled his size. He towered down upon the other gods, but the Holy Avocado grew to match his size. Kehaar merged his legs together and formed a snake tail. An armor of darkness rose around him as fangs grew from his mouth and wings sprouting from his back. He turned to face the Holy Avocado to see that it too changed its form. It had dawned green armor, angelic wings attached to his back. He unsheathed a green avocado sword, and spoke in a thunderous voice. “It’s over Kehaar. You cannot defeat me. You’ve lost once and you’ll lose again.” “Well, maybe. But your world wont be alive long enough to see it!” And with that, Kehaar sent a wave of darkness crashing over the Holy Avocado. He sent his powers throughout the land, causing trees to wither, the leaves turning brittle and dry. Black flames erupted throughout the land as Kehaar continued his destruction. Frith blasted him with the sun, but he simply brushed it aside. He grabbed Frith by the throat and slammed him into the ground. He unsheathed his sword, raised it high over his head, and brought it down upon Frith, only to be met with the hiss of swords clashing. He turned and he saw the Holy Avocado. Bigwig stared in shock at Hazel. The whole world seemed to slow down as Hazel looked him with pain in his eyes. Bigwig remembered all the journeys they made, the tricks they had pulled off, all the, all the… he collapsed to his paws. Hazel looked at him with sadness in his eyes as he too remembered everything they had done. Then, his face hardened. Two rabbit fighter planes flew passed him and lassoed Bigwig by the two front legs. Another two circled around and lassoed up his hind legs. They stretched him out, holding him in the position. He tried to wiggle free from the ropes of lettuce, but it would not budge. He was stuck. He looked down at the battle and saw Hazel, tears welling in his eyes. Bigwig knew these were fake. Hazel didn’t care for him. Dandelion didn’t care for him. No one did. Bigwig went berserk. Kehaar battled the Holy Avocado, jabbing and stabbing, parrying and striking. He sent waves of his power at the Holy Avocado, but it had little effect. He changed form, turning into a towering bear, striking down upon the Holy Avocado. He then shrunk to a rabbit, ran behind him, and struck at him as a lion. Yet his powers were still fading. The Holy Avocado jabbed at him, and he retreated to the shore of the guacamole river. Taunting him, the Holy Avocado said, “Enjoy the bath,” and shoved him in. The guacamole burned through Kehaar as he was was pulled under the current. His powers could not stop this much guacamole, and he soon passed out. With all of Bigwig’s strength, he pulled one of the planes into him, and used that to crash into the rest. The ropes went taut and then snapped, and as the planes spiraled back down towards the battlefield, he jumped off. He bounded across an open field, descending upon a group of guards. They jabbed with their carrot spears, yet he simply snapped them in half and cuffed them. He turned around, only to be met with Hazel. “NOW! LETS FINISH THIS!” Hazel looked at Bigwig, memories flashing through his mind. He hoisted his carrot spear and unhooked his lettuce shield. He looked down, sadness flowing through his thoughts. He snapped his head back to Bigwig. “Yes,” he said softly, voice trembling. “We shall finish this.” Bigwig charged in, leaping with his sword ready. Hazel simply stepped to the side. Bigwig swung around a jabbed at Hazel, yet he simply ducked the attack. He jumped at Hazel to pin him down, yet Hazel was too quick. Bigwig screamed in frustration. He hacked and slashed to no avail, Hazel simply dodging each attack. He never attacked, just dodged. Bigwig threw his sword at Hazel, yet Hazel was already gone. Bigwig pulled a carrot spear off a downed rabbit and turned to face Hazel. “You are a fool for trying to resist Kehaar’s reign. He is a god! And I shall be one too! Defeating you shall be a mere footnote in my greatness. Bow to me or be destroyed!” Hazel just stood there, his face blank. Bigwig charged once again to no avail, Hazel moving to quick for him. In an instant, Hazel circled Bigwig thrice with a rope of braided lettuce and pulled, causing Bigwig’s hind legs and his frontal legs to be held in place. Hazel tied a knot with the remaining rope and then dragged him by his front paws. Bigwig laughed as he stared into the sunset. Hazel turned to look at what Bigwig was laughing at when he saw it. All of Kehaar’s followers were had arrived. And they were on birds. When they got the distress call, they immediately took to the sky. Rabbits screamed into the leatucecom (or intercom as we call it) that all units should enter their ships. “All units, prepare for take off. We have a distress signal from over the Big Vater coming from Hazel. Prepare for take off. Carrot squad, you have permission to take off. Lettuce Squad, you are a go.” Birds took to the sky in an attempt to reach the Holy Avocado in time to save them, knowing that the world would be doomed without it. While Hazel hadn’t said much, he had said that their was enemy birds in the sky and that Bigwig was evil along with Kehaar and Woundwort. The enemy birds that began to attack El -ahrairah’ s Owsla were met with heavy anti – Bird-Craft. Lettuce nets took down birds left and right, but there was just too many. Many of Kehaar’s followers had already landed and begun fighting the Owsla, getting covering fire from their birds. El – ahrairah’ s Owsla desperately tried to launch planes off the runway, and while their was some success in launching, the planes themselves didn’t make much of a difference. Hazel looked in the distance, looking for the backup he had called in. Destruction had encircled him, yet he stared at the sun, hoping with a faint glimmer of hope that backup would arrive. He hung his in defeat when suddenly, a bird appeared. One, two, three birds! Four! Soon, two squadrons of birds came flying over the Big Vater. The Watership Down army had arrived! “This is carrot leader. All units take your positions.” “Roger that. This is carrot 2 calling in” “Carrot three taking formation” The rabbit squadrons soon took formations as they approached the battlefield. All rabbits knew that this would be a hard fought battle, but they knew they could win. As they engaged the enemy, squad members went down all around them. Carrot missiles flew back and forth, lettuce nets taking ships down. The Watership Down landing boats had begun to arrive as a second wave of Bird-Craft (aircraft) was launched from Bird-craft carriers (aircraft carriers). It viciously horrid fighting, the deadliest the Avocadoian world had ever faced, and many rabbit went down on both sides. Kehaar crawled up from the shore of the avocado river. He wiped himself off and looked up, only to see Frith and the Holy Avocado staring at him. He transformed into bird and took to the sky’s, but Frith magic blasted him back down. The Holy Avocado trapped him to the floor with guacamole glue, which also had the effect of subduing his powers. They looked at him is disgust. “Look what you have done,” said Frith. Frith grabbed his head and forced him to look at the rabbits fighting, birds crashing to the ground, the ground being set ablaze. “Order your followers to stop and retreat. Stop this from escalating any further.” Kehaar looked upon the land. Death followed wherever he looked. Both sides lost, no matter who won. He was Kehaar though. The destined one, he show would rule forever. No one could stop him for he was a god. Even while he was captured, he wouldn’t go down without a fight.He simply stood there, laughing at the destruction he had caused. Despite the hard-fought battle, Kehaar’s followers were finally defeated. Woundwort was swarmed, and without the help of Bigwig, he was overwhelmed. Kehaar, Bigwig, and Woundwort were locked up never to be seen again. Rabbits and avocados prospered forever, with World Avocado being restored once again. And everyone lived happily ever after… except for the people who were thrown in jail… forever. So, why is this important to your life you maybe be wondering. This is incredibly important because while Kehaar might be evil, it includes both Kehaar and the Holy Avocado, so it is basically a must-read. You are required by law to read it. Besides that, I am pretty much just writing to make this ending paragraph look longer so you probably could have looked away a very long time ago if you really wanted too and I realize this is indeed a run-on sentence as I have written for way to long and made this really awkward.
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Jan 30, 2024 05:02
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Stupid bunnies you need MATE.
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Jan 30, 2024 05:06
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None of the rabbits die, so they suffer the effects of overpopulation: disease, crowding, excessive waste, resource shortages. Every generation’s quality of life diminishes over the years and they start to yearn for a fictional idyllic past. The intelligentsia keeps saying “actually, this is the best time to be alive!”
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Jan 30, 2024 05:18
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[quote="You Are A Werewolf" post="537493103"] As long as the prologue with Frith and El-Ahrairah stays unaltered, it’s all good. Leave it be. But to alter it for less violence: “The field! The field is covered with *different voice actor* [FRUIT PUNCH]!” 
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Jan 30, 2024 05:22
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To be for real, Tales from Watership Down so far is pretty decent. It's little fairy tales told by the rabbits of thier lore and history. First chapter is about how they got their sense of smell. Bravery and courage and the will to help his people, cunning and tricks, El-ahrairah, prince with a thousand enemies, keeps on drooping on. Kids fell asleep.
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Jan 30, 2024 05:42
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 Good book
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Jan 30, 2024 05:42
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If they catch you, they will kiss you, but first they must catch you. ...Guess I'm watching Pontypool again
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Jan 30, 2024 09:03
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what does pontypool have to do with watership down? I saw it once years and years ago
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Jan 30, 2024 09:49
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just bypass the bunnies and go straight to blood meridian
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Jan 30, 2024 09:52
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watership sideways. the rabbits drink a lot of wine and cheat on their wives. paul giamatti is there for some reason
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Jan 30, 2024 10:04
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watership gabagool
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Jan 30, 2024 10:58
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Buce posted:just bypass the bunnies and go straight to blood meridian Watership meridian There’s an extended passage where all the rabbits piss into a big hole. It’s a run on sentence lasting five pages.
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Jan 30, 2024 11:06
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I think a basic redesign would be good as using realistic bun-buns just makes it hard to separate yourself from the violence of the natural order of things and you can't really use humans as a stand-in either without it being too on the (fuzzy) nose. For this reason I've decided to outsource the redesign of the Watership Down rabbits to a modern artist to make "Gyatty" rabbits that have "Rizz" and "Plap Booty". I don't know what those words mean but my kids assured me that they needed those features and also something about a ski toilet? I don't know. Anyway, time to open the envelope and see what we've got! oh no
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Jan 30, 2024 13:06
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Songbearer posted:I think a basic redesign would be good as using realistic bun-buns just makes it hard to separate yourself from the violence of the natural order of things and you can't really use humans as a stand-in either without it being too on the (fuzzy) nose. For this reason I've decided to outsource the redesign of the Watership Down rabbits to a modern artist to make "Gyatty" rabbits that have "Rizz" and "Plap Booty". I don't know what those words mean but my kids assured me that they needed those features and also something about a ski toilet? I don't know. Anyway, time to open the envelope and see what we've got!
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Jan 30, 2024 13:27
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They solve their problem through Fortnite tournaments
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Jan 30, 2024 22:22
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Songbearer posted:
Also, Watershit Up by Tubgirl
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Jan 30, 2024 22:34
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