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Digital pogs. Seeking $1200 for a website.
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Feb 3, 2024 10:29
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 04:57 |
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This is actually our second appearance on shark tank. We make amontillado. Our company motto: nemo me impune lacessit. We have each shark step into designated tasting booths, each with a miniature cask.
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Feb 3, 2024 11:26
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How to make a million dollars, made easy books! My book's front cover is me smiling wide in expensive clothes with the promise to make you rich. There are a lot of pages but they're all fake, heavy pages. Step 1. Take a loan out and buy a bunch of expensive clothes and jewelry and a professional photo shoot. Step 2. Make a book telling someone how to make a million dollars. With only one actual page in the middle detailing this exact list, the rest are just thick photos of me in expensive places in expensive clothes with an expensive smile. Step 3. Sell the book for $15 and get 66,666 rubes to buy it. The business itself will be a variation of this scam, and I will be looking to sell the company after I've made like 10 million dollars.
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Feb 3, 2024 11:40
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The Pocket Oven. A little portable oven sleeve that you can put a piece of fish or a slice of pizza in to heat it up while you're walking. Powered by kinetic energy (and a small battery and heat coils).
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Feb 3, 2024 12:40
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Ok hear me out. AI generated fentanyl on the blockchain.
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Feb 3, 2024 15:04
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We buy bulk lots of beanie babies from estate sales, sort & re-package them into tiered lots based on quality, then sell the new bundles to pension fund investment managers. You can become part owner if you have one of those things that lets us reattach the "Ty" hangtags, or if you know any pension fund investment managers. e: also can be a part owner if you know any people with 10+ beanie babies who have recently vagueposted that they received very bad news remembertorelax fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Feb 3, 2024 |
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Feb 3, 2024 15:11
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hi sharks - i have an invention that literally prints money and i'd like to offer you the chance to buy in at the ground floor. i'm calling it the 'counterfeit printing press' and so far the buzz has been unbelievable
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Feb 3, 2024 15:44
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Dragons, I’d like you to invest in my international family business. You see, my father, Prince Chetachi, was the governor of the Nigerian central bank…
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Feb 3, 2024 15:44
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Well you see sharks, The history of all hitherto existing societies is the history of class struggles. Freeman and slave, patrician and plebeian, lord and serf, guild-master and journeyman, in a word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a revolutionary re-constitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes. In the earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement of society into various orders, a manifold gradation of social rank. In ancient Rome we have patricians, knights, plebeians, slaves; in the Middle Ages, feudal lords, vassals, guild-masters, journeymen, apprentices, serfs; in almost all of these classes, again, subordinate gradations. The modern bourgeois society that has sprouted from the ruins of feudal society has not done away with clash antagonisms. It has but established new classes, new conditions of oppression, new forms of struggle in place of the old ones. Our epoch, the epoch of the bourgeoisie, possesses, however, this distinctive feature: it has simplified the class antagonisms: Society as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great hostile camps, into two great classes, directly facing each other: Bourgeoisie and Proletariat. Also I sell edible tampons so give me nine million dollars
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Feb 3, 2024 15:49
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Well see I've got this machine that you launch into the atmosphere and converts water into any kind of food you can imagine but if you abuse this whimsical device hoo-boy can things go wacky- -sorry I've just been informed that I'm being sued by Sony Entertainment
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Feb 3, 2024 17:11
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ok sharks - i've got a big ol' bucket of chum here and i'll toss it in your faces for only a cool $100k
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Feb 3, 2024 17:15
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Whoopi Cushion Shoes - A Fart with Every Step!
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Feb 3, 2024 17:26
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Hello, Sharks. I have in my hands a device that you strap to your buttocks which converts the smell of farts into that of freshly baked cinnamon rolls and the sound of farts into that of crooner Michael Bublé. Allow me to demonstrate, as I have just eaten a huge pot of beans and an entire Costco-sized box of Fiber One bars.
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Feb 3, 2024 17:42
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I'll make this quick. I have a gun with me and for 100% of everything in your wallets you get a 100% stake in staying alive today
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Feb 3, 2024 18:29
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it’s a bripe, for ladies
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Feb 3, 2024 18:41
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one word - microplastics!
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Feb 3, 2024 20:00
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My pitch is a catheter, but for fun. Each one sells for $3000. If I get funding I will use it to do marketing for my target audience: men who live alone with more than one cat. 1 million USD will buy a 1% stake
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Feb 3, 2024 20:05
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i waant to get my dick sucked, and i want to be paid for it
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Feb 4, 2024 03:52
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We've all been there, it's freezing out, you're running outside, you're running late, and when you get hit with that freezing winter wind you can think of only one thing: I wish my penis had its own sweater. That's what our product is: The Wienerwrap is a sweater for your penis. Our line runs from a lightweight activewear to the heavy-duty extreme weather protection. When surveyed, over 75% of American men wished they had a warmer penis in the winter. Up until now, the solution has only been wearing more underwear or putting one of those little handwarmers inside your shorts. But a few years ago, I damaged myself horribly using one of those handwarmers and thought there had to be a better way. Four months later, I debuted the WeWrap on Youtube and we've been selling nearly 10,000 units a month, on average, since. I want to sell 10% of my company for $500,000.
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Feb 4, 2024 04:51
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I'll take a 0.1% share at $5000 but I think there should be a specialty Sephora line for snail shell configurations.
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Feb 4, 2024 06:40
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I have these bluetooth powered socks that will tell you if your feet stink. I want 5 mil for a 3 percent stake. Oh, you offer 15$ for an 80% stake? DEAL!
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Feb 4, 2024 06:44
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I'm asking for $2 million up-front for my Doctor Who fan-film. In exchange you get to field the lawsuit with the BBC and Terry Nation.
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Feb 4, 2024 06:50
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Where the gently caress are the Sharks? This whole post is just pitches, nobody gives a gently caress about the pitches, we're here to see some MBA eat poo poo
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Feb 4, 2024 06:52
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We are Plausible DenAI-bility. Our service creates hundreds of different online profiles based on someone's name and posts various comments, created by our proprietary AI text generation tool, to all these social media accounts. In addition, posts generated by our AI service can be posted to their actual accounts, if desired. Did your child's post these comments, or was it an AI? Did YOU post these comments, or was it a bot using your name and modeled after your own posting style? We offer up plausible deniability, hence our name, to anyone who uses social media to claim their account was hacked, a bot did it, they would never actually post those comments! We are offering a 10% stake in the company for, and I need to remind you, we use AI, for $110M.
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Feb 4, 2024 06:57
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Now with that out of the way, Sharks, let me introduce you to the the T-Swift branded She-rinal. Swifties wait hours in line at shows, missing potentially life-altering songs, just to take a 20 second piss after drinking 5 glasses of house red in the parking lot. No longer are women confined to primitive boxes when using the washroom, with our femme specific urinal, she can drop trow and waddle up to the wall for a wizz in seconds. She does have to straddle our patented She-rinal trough protuberance, leaving her rear end out in the wind like 90 year old man at the YMCA, but she will be back in her seat for Blank Spaces in no time. I am seeking 50mil for 2%, and lawyer fees to protect me from Taylor. Don't lowball, I know what I have here. Szechwan fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Feb 4, 2024 |
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Feb 4, 2024 07:00
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*Enters stage, nervously sweating* Okay, um, our company is called Build-I-Dolls. We sell life-sized lookalike 'celebrity idol' stuffed dolls. We're like a Build-A-Bear, but our product is very different. We're a way that fans can better connect with the celebrities that inspire and entertain them. We have them filled with cotton, polyblend, memory foam, or a mixture of any of those. The outer casing is also made with a mix of several different options, too. This here is Tailor, that's T-A-I-L-O-R, Swift, and as you can see, the craftsmanship is superb and looks like a stereotypical music idol. The best part is... *Starts ripping open the back of the doll, grunting violently, mutters the word 'bitch' under my breath as I struggle to pull out something from the packed insides* We put a velcro opening in the upper back so you can remove the inner padding to wash the outer casing! *I continue to pull out wad after wad of stuffing until I'm holding up a ghoulish, vaguely human-looking, cloth skin.* We'd like to sell a 40% stake in the company for $20M. *As the Sharks and I debate, I start cramming the stuffing back into the skin, grossly squeezing the doll in an attempt to get it back into the right shape, but failing.* How about 40% stake for $10M?
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Feb 4, 2024 07:24
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You know the worst part of cleaning? The mess you make by trying to clean things up. My solution is, what if MAKING the mess did the job of cleaning up FOR YOU!? This is CleanCoat: It's a latex-based spray paint system that you spray over your entire area you want to clean. Once it dries, you simply scrape or peel off the dried coat and it also removes all the dirt and stains underneath. No more sloppy buckets of dangerous chemicals and wasted water. Each can will coat a 10sqft area and costs $100 a can. We want $100K for 10% of the company.
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Feb 4, 2024 07:34
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Who keeps playing that horror movie stinger? Anyone else hear that or is it just me.ikanreed posted:My pitch is a catheter, but for fun. Each one sells for $3000. If I get funding I will use it to do marketing for my target audience: men who live alone with more than one cat. This is a sound investment. 
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Feb 4, 2024 07:40
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My product is an ice-cream flavored glue for envelopes. But I've already lost too much money on that. So instead I brought this. This is a bomb. I just activated it and it has a proximity sensor. If anyone attempts to leave it will go off and kill us all. If the deactivation code is not entered in the next 5 minutes, it will go off and kill us all. Now, personally, I have nothing to live for, but I bet the rest of you do. So, let's negotiate. I will sell 100% of the bomb and the deactivation code for $100M, one of you as a hostage, and the use of one of your personal jets to take me to a country with no extradition treaty with the United States..
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Feb 4, 2024 07:48
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I keep smiling, nearly crying but valiantly maintaining the death rictus grin stretched over my face as the sharks pull my shorts down and make fun of my penis
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Feb 4, 2024 07:52
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I call it shitcoin. Every time you poo poo you earn a digital token that can be traded with other shitters on the shitchain. I’m asking $100 billion USD (fiat) for 1% equity.
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Feb 4, 2024 07:59
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I walk in with some artisan product that costs 10x what an already existing product does, but claim that it has only 90% of the environmental impact. Once mass production starts, the e-waste it generates when the non-replaceable battery dies more than undoes that benefit, plus it forces the consumer to buy another. The Sharks start killing one another for the 10% of the company that I'm offering.
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Feb 4, 2024 08:11
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i'm just here to get a share of squarbles
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Feb 4, 2024 08:17
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I only show up to give a rose to one of the Sharks, then leave when they reject me.
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Feb 4, 2024 08:19
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I have an idea that is actually viable. I have no intention of accepting any offerings from any of the Sharks and am just using this as free advertising. I will get more favourable loan terms from any worthwhile bank.
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Feb 4, 2024 08:25
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Unperson_47 posted:Who keeps playing that horror movie stinger? Anyone else hear that or is it just me. 
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Feb 4, 2024 09:32
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my idea is Shark Trek
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Feb 4, 2024 09:59
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my other idea is Snark Trek
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Feb 4, 2024 10:16
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No, this isn't the Slam-Chop. This is called the Smash-Cutter!
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Feb 4, 2024 13:48
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 04:57 |
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10% for 100% of your posts Jeff Here's 
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Feb 4, 2024 14:07
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