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Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.


In a world afraid to take chances, only able to produce sequels and endlessly reboot franchises, the NFL brings you The Kansas City Chiefs Vs The San Francisco Adjacent 49ers.

Go here to talk about food: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4053830
Go here to talk about the offseason: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4054011
Go here to talk about coaching changes: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4041188
Stay put if you hate yourself and/or your favorite team.

Super Bowl 58 facts: It's in Las Vegas. Taylor Swift may be shown on TV a lot. Usher is doing the halftime show. That's all I got, I'm putting as much effort into this as the NFL script writers did.

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Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
When does the game start?

6:30 p.m. ET, 3:30 pm PT

Where can I watch Super Bowl 58 legally?

CBS
Paramount+
NFL+ on mobile devices
Nikelodeon for the alternative "slimecast"

Which team is which?

The Chiefs are wearing their home colors, a red top with white bottoms.
The 49ers are wearing their away colors, a white top with gold bottoms.

Who are the announcers?

Jim Nantz (play-by-play), Tony Romo (color commentary), Tracy Wolfson and Evan Washburn (sideline reporters), Jay Feely (special teams analyst) and Gene Steratore (rules analyst).

Who are the referees, so I know who to blame for my team losing?

Referee: Bill Vinovich (famously pro-Chiefs, the fix is in!)
Umpire: Terry Killens (a former 49er player, the fix is in!)
Down judge: Patrick Holt
Line judge: Mark Perlman
Field judge: Tom Hill
Side judge: Allen Baynes
Back judge: Brad Freeman
Replay official: Mike Chase
Replay assistant: Jack Persampire

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 21:41 on Feb 11, 2024

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
Go Niners, do good things and win.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
Super Bowl rookie Trent Williams got the nerves.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
More penalties than points in the game, good stuff.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
So far the 49ers are beating the Chiefs. Sadly they're also beating themselves.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
RAY RAY CATCH

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
Who wants to sign QB Juaun Jennings for 40 mil/year

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

nikosoft posted:

That was the dumbest play I've ever seen

That's why it worked. No brain, only football.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
God damnit, they're playing a *third* Chiefs 49ers super bowl.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
A second Mahomes has hit the 49ers.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
Congrats, Chiefs fans. See you next year for the fourth SB match up.

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Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
Go here to talk about sad super bowl results:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4054126

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