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Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Black Lighter posted:

In the franchise mode of whichever Madden came out the year Thomas Jones was drafted, he basically always became the greatest running back of all time. 100 speed, 100 agility, 100 hands, 100 strength, 100 everything. He would inevitably become Marshall Faulk x 100, and I still find the fact that he didn't do that IRL irrationally frustrating. There's a tiny part of my brain that insists the morass of the early 2000s Arizona Cardinals kept him from becoming the GOAT, because how could the N64 Madden ratings be wrong?

In a less broken video game story, I remember Alexander Wright. He was basically a track star who couldn't catch worth a poo poo and I know you're surprised to find out he was on the Raiders in the early '90s. In one of the Tecmo Bowls, I'd move him from WR to RB and just have a fast as hell RB and it worked out really well!

For whatever reason, I always remember Chiefs legend Lake Dawson from Tecmo as well. I guess dude just had a unique name so it stuck with me.

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Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
Tim Krumrie (sp?) I think he was nose tackle for the Bengals in one of the Tecmo games.

Oh God those Oilers teams just popped into my head, they were absolutely filthy with Moon throwing to Earnest Givens and Haywood Jeffries.

Run n Shoot 4 Lyfe

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

fartknocker posted:

Eric Turner

RIP

He was a bad motherfucker

gently caress cancer

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Black Lighter posted:

Jon Ritchie. He bled a lot in goalline situations

He pretty much bled immediately on first contact every game. Dude probably has severe CTE at this point.

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
Marquis Cooper

RIP what a goddamn tragedy
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquis_Cooper

On a side note, the pigeon kickoff was apparently right where Cooper would typically line up

https://x.com/Raiders/status/1257740716274446339?s=20

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
All-Pro linebacker Brian Orakpo!!

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
I want more words about Najee Davenport making GBS threads in someone's laundry basket

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
Thomas Howard (RIP)
Kirk Morrison

I'm pretty sure I had an avatar of the "Law Offices of Morrison and Howard" at some point forever ago.

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

CannonFodder posted:

Natrone Means

Business

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

All punters are Guys, except, ironically, Ray Guy.

Shane Lechler is another exception because he was better than Ray and belongs in the Hall of Fame as well.

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
Truth

Man, it's been rough since 2002!

Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
Tyler Brayton!

Known for kneeing Jeremy Stevens in the nuts during a game and being ejected as a result.

You may also know Jeremy Stevens for being a rapist in college, being a bad football player and for beating up and constantly fighting with his girlfriend/wife and soccer superstar Hope Solo.

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Black Sunshine
Apr 4, 2004

LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH
LeCharles Bentley, went home to Cleveland and instantly got a career ending injury because Browns

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