2024 NFL Free Agency

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2024 NFL Free Agency

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Baker should just be spiteful and come to Vegas for the same money that TB is offering. It'll be a fun offense with good vibes everywhere and 3 cheesecake factory's for all the blowjobs a man could ask for

# ¿ Mar 6, 2024 20:14

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 10:56

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Mr. Nice! posted:

Baker wants to play with Mike Evans.

I can't blame him for that, either. If you had Mike Evans to throw to, would you want to go anywhere else?

I'm sure he wants to play with Evans due to established chemistry but Adams would be a really good alternate option.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2024 21:54

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

DT was one of our biggest needs so I'm pretty happy. If Koonce keeps developing at Edge or if Tyree Wilson starts showing up on game day, that defensive line could be absolutely filthy.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2024 18:35

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

fartknocker posted:

The upcoming draft is going to feature Marvin Harrison, Frank Gore, Kris Jenkins, and Jeremiah Trotter.

I don't look my age and I sure as hell don't feel old yet but it's this poo poo right here that forces me to face my own mortality. The first time I heard Nirvana on the radio referred to as "classic rock" just floored me as well.

Time is a cruel mistress

# ¿ Mar 11, 2024 20:01

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

a neat cape posted:

Bye bitch

Haha WTF did he ever do to you?

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 00:03

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

a neat cape posted:

Was a bad player on my football last year

Most of your team was pretty bad last year

The337th posted:

drat, I'd be exhausted if I had to harbor any real resentment to players who performed badly on the Raiders

Yeah, like a rough equivalent would be Jacobs leaving for Green Bay. He may or may not be cooked but had a lot of really good years for us so it would be silly to be mad at him for not setting the world on fire last year. I genuinely wish him well, dude's been a class act despite the team being a dumpster fire most of the time he was there

I understand hating on someone like Melvin Gordon because he constantly lost games for the team even while putting up some nice numbers at one point but Ekeler was really good overall.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 01:05

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

a neat cape posted:

Should I be sad that the guy who led the league in non QB fumbles and who wanted way too much money to stay is leaving?

https://twitter.com/SharpFootball/status/1767308987534319991?t=HdQ8fPRP0QbP7eJFBSWiEg&s=19

gently caress i am so sad, come back austin.

You're entitled to feel how you want, I just think it's weird to dismiss him with prejudice after being really good for quite a long time. Dude is washed now, it happens. If anything, blame the coaching staff for continuing to run him out there while he was performing so badly.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 02:05

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

I'm glad the Chargers suck

Harbaugh won't save the team, book it

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 02:11

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Borsche69 posted:

harbaugh's gonna get indicted for cheating at michigan and hopefully he'll be put to death by lethal explosion

Inshallah

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 03:45

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Intruder posted:

next up is bringing darren sharper out of retirement

Holy poo poo

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 17:09

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

mcmagic posted:

Must be nice to root for a team that acquires good players.

You had your glory last off-season. Just sit back, shove magical clay up your rear end and trip balls on psychedelics until Rodgers runs onto the field carrying a flag again like a real American hero

# ¿ Mar 13, 2024 00:04

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Good

gently caress the Cowboys

# ¿ Mar 13, 2024 00:13

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Grozz Nuy posted:

Is Renfrow totally washed now or what?

He's exclusively a slot receiver who needs to have a great relationship with his QB that will allow him to create plays on the fly. Without being on the same page in that regard, the ball ends up in the wrong place since he just wings it a lot. I'd be shocked if he doesn't hook back up with Carr in New Orleans since they were great together. Y'know, for all of Carr's faults, he sure as hell got a bunch of lower tier receivers some nice paydays.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2024 14:15

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Pron on VHS posted:

underneath routes in garbage time

I mean, not really. He had a shitload of 4th quarter heroics throughout his time with the team. The Zay Jones walk off TD in overtime against the Ravens on opening day a few years ago immediately comes to mind and there are a lot more like it.

The Carr Raiders rarely got blown out and usually had close games so there wasn't much "garbage time" to collect stats with.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2024 15:21

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

IcePhoenix posted:

https://twitter.com/tompelissero/status/1768335955734212963?s=46

someone tell me about this guy

Like I get they're just trying to bet on talent/reclamation with a contract like that but why

He will make some plays occasionally but he'll also have some incredibly dumb penalties and you'll want to strangle him.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2024 20:58

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

What's the big sandwich chain around Pittsburgh?

Primanti Bros, basically huge sandwiches with fries piled on top

Steelers Country, Let's Fry!

# ¿ Mar 15, 2024 21:39

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Docjowles posted:

My favorite cringe catchphrase so far has been Steelers Country, Let's Weld. Not because it is good, but because it's exactly the kind of dumbass focus group-rear end thing Russ would say

Oh for sure, he probably has zero concept of what a weld even is but it doesn't matter because he'll say what that focus group suggests no matter what.

The most boring motherfucker since Patriots era Brady.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2024 21:50

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

FizFashizzle posted:

the best thing Matt Rhule did was not drafting Kenny Pickett.

On the other hand, you probably wouldn't have drafted noted miniature human Bryce Young #1 overall and set back your franchise about 5 years

# ¿ Mar 15, 2024 22:19

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

The337th posted:

oh no here comes the threepeat

One of the Chiefs needs to start dating a Kardashian, it's the only possible distraction that could stop the underdogs from winning another Superbowl

# ¿ Mar 16, 2024 16:58

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

What exactly is wrong with Chase Young? He had mega hype coming out of OSU along with the Bosa's and he just seems like he's walking the line on being a JAG already.

Like, even a high pick like Clelin Ferrell (gently caress Gruden) was kinda mocked even on draft day as being a huge reach (with high character!) but Young was universally supposed to be a badass.

Black Sunshine fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Mar 18, 2024

# ¿ Mar 18, 2024 22:27

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

He dogged it hard in Vegas and found a lot of reasons to not play games. gently caress that guy

# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 19:41

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Amy Pole Her posted:

I swear I remember you or another raiders fan posting tweets or proof of this before but I’m drawing blanks. Hes the dude who had multiple gifs of just not even trying to block edge rushers right?

Yes definitely. I wasn't the guy with proof but this dude would just basically allow people to run right past him and not give a single gently caress.

I understand if you're unhappy somewhere (don't sign a huge free agent deal to go there if that's the case) or you're making a business decision on not getting injured but it was particularly egregious in his case.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 21:25

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

fartknocker posted:

Grogan should be benched for Marc Wilson, but yeah, just take some deep shots and hope for jump balls with him.

With Brister (Or the similarly rated Billy Joe Tolliver of the Chargers), it’s actually fairly easy to have an effective passing game, you just need to throw it short, since the high passing speed has everything at a low trajectory and makes them more susceptible to getting picked by guys underneath. The best are plays that spread the field both vertically and horizontally, where they’ll give you something short where you can roll slightly and not have anyone between you and the receiver, particularly two of the Shotgun passes (X Drive and Z S-In). Some of the Run and Shoot plays, like Flare C and Z Fly, work really well too, as does the classic Pro T Flare D. Bigger issue for Pittsburgh is IIRC they just have now speed at any skill spots, so it’s an utter grind to do anything offensively.

The worst QBs in the game to me are probably Jim Harbaugh and Jeff George. Both have just enough pass speed to give them flatter trajectories, but horribly low pass control ratings that makes them more likely to get picked if there is any defender underneath, and they don’t have the cannon arms that Tolliver and Brister have which make quick check downs work. Grogan’s super low pass speed actually makes him slightly better since his stuff ends up as rainbows that go over everyone’s head, and makes him occasionally effective at deep balls.

I felt like a kid again reading this, holy gently caress it's like a time warp.

Edit: Weird that George didn't have a cannon arm in Tecmo apparently because that's really his defining trait as a QB.

Black Sunshine fucked around with this message at 14:04 on Mar 20, 2024

# ¿ Mar 20, 2024 14:01

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

mcmagic posted:

The whole Kyle Pitts saga makes me nervous about taking Bowers in the top 10.

It's been proven that taking a TE really high almost never ends up being worth it anyway so I'd be nervous too.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2024 18:24

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Devin Hester comes out of retirement, scores a TD on every return, forces the league to change strategy/rules to specifically minimize his ability to impact a game and there will still be people bitching about his HOF induction.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2024 19:00

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Anything that hides additional Canton real estate behind walls is a good thing so I approve

# ¿ Mar 27, 2024 19:08

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

a neat cape posted:

I think Denver is gonna have a ROUGH year

I sincerely hope you're right

# ¿ Mar 30, 2024 01:16

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

They deserve to suffer because it's the Broncos but also because they went out and got noted piece of poo poo and mega rear end in a top hat Sean Payton to coach the team.

Then again, they'll probably suck long enough to get Payton fired and be first in line to draft that future hall of fame Manning kid in a few years so I'm screwed no matter what

Black Sunshine fucked around with this message at 05:24 on Mar 30, 2024

# ¿ Mar 30, 2024 05:19

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Maybe Wentz can be the next Chiefs employee to drive drunk and hurt innocent people with little repercussions!

# ¿ Apr 2, 2024 05:39

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

Borsche69 posted:

imagine getting like a page worth of emptyquotes. in fact that might gently caress up a man even worse.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2024 15:06

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 10:56

Black Sunshine: Apr 4, 2004; LEFT 4 DEAD IS A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL - I JERK OFF TO BOTH

You fools ruined it!

He may have broken like Big Bob during the legendary Raiders v Broncos game but now we'll never know!

# ¿ Apr 5, 2024 16:49

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2024 NFL Free Agency