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Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
I like the Smith signing just fine in its context. He’s a solid short-area YAC TE in an offense that could desperately use one, and I don’t think he rules out a draft pick there.

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Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
I don’t think the issue is affording Wilkins, so much as it is that they don’t think he’s worth what he’s asking for.

Insofar as Sneed is concerned sounds legit- he paid Byron Jones and Howard, then Ramsey and Howard, now Howard is thankfully gone so now there’s a mega db contract sized hole in Grier’s heart

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
A 6th round pick for a member of the NFL's top 100? That's a good deal the Patriots got robbed.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
https://x.com/RapSheet/status/1766883056441307455?s=20

This probably will for better or worse change the draft as well, you've got both your starting tackles.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
https://x.com/zacstevensdnvr/status/1767237906752528744?s=46&t=4v69OlVJpK1h7pgGOGqqoA

For Brandon Jones, huh?

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
Holy poo poo 5 years and $100m for Hunt that’s insane

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

CubanMissile posted:

Bummed about losing Gink & Co. but we all knew it was coming.

AVG stings, I think that's fair compensation for him and you missed out on that.

I don't think there's many roster or cap situations around the league where you need to be paying Christian Wilkins and Robert Hunt the kind of money they got. Like maybe if you just got off a tank, and you've got an expansion level roster and money to burn, but if you had $50m free going into free agency I wouldn't want to do that.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
https://x.com/adamschefter/status/1767328079133696501?s=46&t=4v69OlVJpK1h7pgGOGqqoA

I like this. Someone’s gonna post his PFF coverage grades being bad but that Pete Carroll defense is a very silly thing to do with a mortal linebacker

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
https://x.com/rapsheet/status/1767342576326119523?s=46&t=4v69OlVJpK1h7pgGOGqqoA

I kind of hate this, he’s too small to be an NFL starter. Like he’d be fun if he was a Patrick Ricard style experiment or whatever but he’s going to get bullied in pass pro and that’s the one thing we can’t have

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Parallax posted:

ok but can he snap the ball well consistently

I don't know he's loving crazy fast though:

https://x.com/DanteCollinelli/status/1767351210992951579?s=20
https://x.com/mustbemarisa87/status/1767344479273418878?s=20

Dude is going to be cramming a half dozen Dave's Doubles with tears streaming down his face three times a day by December to try and hit 280lbs., but he has evolved past the need for a reach block. He will simply run around your 3 technique or whatever and be waiting for him fully perpendicular to the LOS to seal him against the flow. Tua will have died three months ago and this guy will be executing blocks on cornerbacks who snuck on to the field from the sidelines at the last minute.

Hamhandler fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Mar 12, 2024

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
DJ Reader played for Anthony Weaver in Houston, he's also extremely on-brand for IDL in this defense. The last couple of years in Baltimore they love sitting a big, power-oriented NT type at 2i in the Nickel on the weakside and just have him kill some bread and butter run concepts that way. Reader might be a priority signing because he's got juice as a pass rusher beyond most guys like that.

He'll probably be expensive but I don't know backload the contract who gives a poo poo.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

mcmagic posted:

https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1767680531938881650
Disgusting (jets should've done this but they aren't interested in acquiring good players)

Makes sense, you're probably going to be a two-deep safety big nickel style team, and Poyer is still a decent split safety. You probably need another one if Holland is going to be your "star", though.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
https://x.com/Marcel_LJ/status/1767697076614320399?s=20

I mean gently caress it, that's pretty good at that price especially if he'll be a part-time third safety.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Diva Cupcake posted:

Had a bodega downstairs from my place in Hoboken for like 15 years. Taylor egg and cheese. Salt, pepper, ketchup.

I miss them so much. Massachusetts has nothing close.

This sounds like something you can just make at home??

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

fsif posted:

You can make any food at home.

Yeah but there are varying degrees of difficulty here- “have some regional cured meat which is widely available outside of the region” seems kinda easy

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

AAAAA! Real Muenster posted:

My wife insisted on a kitchen torch on our wedding registry. We've never used it. Its been 7.5 years.

I use mine pretty frequently this way-
https://www.seriouseats.com/hei-now-youre-a-wok-star-a-fiery-hack-for-stir-frying-at-home

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
The Patriots don't have a GM for the Goon Draft- just because your team IRL is being run by a bunch of randos does not mean it needs to be on these hallowed forums.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
So for the Goon draft I picked* Chop Robinson, EDGE, Penn State.

I would have probably picked Graham Barton, with some serious consideration to Byron Murphy or Cooper DeJean(let's be real #21 is likely a corner whether we like it or not).













* Well I shouldn't say I picked him, I completely missed my spot and he was autodrafted. My wakizashi has been prepared in the ceremonial fashion if necessary.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Amy Pole Her posted:

I was curious since i stole your JPJ

I don't think he's athletic enough for the offense. The crazier second level blocks a center can pull off in wide zone the better, they're basically always in a position to pull off a key block. I think if they're willing to sign Aaron Brewer they're pretty serious about it.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Amy Pole Her posted:

JPJ would be my replacement for Robert Hunt but if he’s still too slow for the offense it is what it is

Brewer as an OL being maxxed out at 295 is wild but he IS a bit short for a lineman so makes sense

I don't think they care as much about athleticism at guard, but there's a difference between being willing to field Lester Cotton or Robert Jones in a pinch and spending a high pick on a guy like that so who knows?

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
OK four picks out from the Dolphins 2nd round pick in the goon draft, I'm thinking Ja'Tavion Sanders or Christian Haynes, what do we got

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
Bowers just doing position drills and no athletics testing at his pro day is a bit suspect that he'd be pretty ordinary or disappointing and his agents or whoever is telling him that not running will probably hurt him less than whatever he'd produce. You see these guys who just test out worse than they play on the field and you wonder if Bowers isn't going to roll out with like a 4.70-something and a crappy vertical if he did it.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Diva Cupcake posted:

MHJ didn’t test at all either and I’m sure it’s not going to hurt him much.

He also isn’t a real undersized player at a position that rarely goes high in the draft, either.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
I don’t see why people are calling Bowers a slot receiver or what have you. He can play attached to the formation, and be the beneficiary of the unique elements of the position. He’s probably scheme specific as a blocker, but if the right team drafts him he’ll probably be pretty useful there.

I’m generally of the opinion it’s dumb to draft a TE too high but I think it’s highly contextual. If you’re paying a top pick to get an 700~ something yard receiver it’s probably a dumb move. I’ll be mad if some of these teams draft Bowers in his range because he’s 100% going to be a disappointment.

That being said I’m all for Miami trading up if Bowers gets out of the top 10. A 21 team with two good receivers and is desperate for a short YAC option? That runs wide zone, and all the stuff that makes a TE unique as a receiver? It’s a great fit.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
I'm not a football numerology guy but the Dolphins starting linebacker numbers are now #11 and #20, absolutely wretched vibes



look at my loving equipment manager we are never winning a super bowl.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Amy Pole Her posted:

I was trying to guess what the most realistic stupid pick they could make and he was it.

I’m happy with Patrick Paul. High ceiling low floor whatever but I think he’ll do well

I don't think the low floor matters that much for the Dolphins. Kion Smith, Kendall Lamm, Brandon Shell, Greg Little, hell for that matter Austin Jackson didn't really gently caress you over. You can protect a lovely tackle, and you can probably start him and get an acceptable result while waiting for the upside to pay off.

I think I'm mostly annoyed in this draft you had Troy Fautanu and Ben Sinnott go right before your picks.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Amy Pole Her posted:

Granted if it’s a running back that McDaniels desperately wanted and they spend a 3rd on him, the history is pretty solid for him to be a stud.

But why? There were two OGs i wanted

If you've got to contextualize as a need, your lead back is 32 and has a huge injury history. I don't think you ought to even really be thinking of need except down the list behind "is this guy good", "are you sure" and then maybe "does he fit the scheme". There's going to be like 10-15 good players in the draft and they don't necessarily come where it's convenient.

IMO hard not to look at this guy and see your replacement for Mostert.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Amy Pole Her posted:

Just feels like it’s easy to find the regular carrier and then sprinkle in Achane. I guess gotta play the depth game - fair

you got maybe the best run scheme in the NFL don't get some dildo to grind out ~4.5ypc go for the gold

this is another good point I think:
https://x.com/WingfieldNFL/status/1784281153068728336

Miami did real good work out of "pony" packages.

Hamhandler fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Apr 27, 2024

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
https://x.com/flasportsbuzz/status/1784305647925772661

I do like weird edge rushers late in the draft, hell yeah give me the 6'1" 250 pound power rusher why not. I'll be mad if they don't get Jaheim Bell somehow but hey

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

stuker posted:

aaaand miami's 7th is another WR

find someone who believes in you the way chris grier believes in liam eichenberg

Supposedly they have FA guards that they have been in communication with if they didn’t pick someone in the draft, dunno who though.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
Drafting for immediate need is a sucker's bet and I'm glad Miami didn't do it.

The lead-up to the event is treated like it's a lottery of infinite possibility but a draft is going to produce 15-20 actual good players that in retrospect will have been meaningfully worth or exceed the value of their pick and then a bunch of jag's, busts, etc. There's no guarantee there's going to be a single player worthwhile at any position of need, much less one available where you pick. You might get lucky, but you're much better off going after what you think is most likely to be a good player and then figuring out the rest.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

stuker posted:

i don't think teams should panic draft based on position, but IOL has been a long standing issue for the team and the current situation is:
Hunt -> CAR
Brewer <- TEN
Connor Williams <-> ???

there is no guarantee that your draft pick will be a good player regardless of their selection, much like there is no guarantee your free agent will be a good signing regardless of their contract. everything you're saying applies the same way to the players we did take, but i do know today chop robinson can't snap the ball

There's no guarantee that anything will be successful, sure, but there's relative merits to everything and I think drafting for need is about as low a rung on that ladder as you're going to get besides a genuinely dumb guy actively working to outsmart himself(Wannstedt).

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

I think Stephen Ross leaving his team to a dipshit kid whose greatest accomplishment(besides accident of birth) is undoubtedly failing to run a bullshit make-work charity into the ground is a bad scenario.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

tarbrush posted:

I assume Paul will get some time at G

I’m not a fan of doing this for a raw player who needs technical stuff cleaned up. You usually get a mediocre guard and slowing down their development at tackle.

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Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

CubanMissile posted:

Not just washed, but too far past washed to even be a successful decoy anymore.

No, he isn't washed. He's still pretty fast and has good stop/start, and he's always had the great catch radius. He's probably better in the slot at this point, but he's still got juice. I don't think he's going to be earning much of his incentives outside of "A Problem" occurring though.

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