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Alright so it's come to my attention that there are some pretty fancy bidets. And for 650 dollars I can't afford NOT to be sitting on one of these. Introducing the SB-3000, I can only imagine the SB stands for sprays butts. Some of the features are pretty weird though. These seem pretty good, a heated seat you can't go wrong with and heated water is a no brainer.  But then it gets a bit off track, is the deodorizer spraying your smelly b hole?  Is the skin sensor to keep your dog from using it? What if you're too hairy for it to register as skin?  Also is this implying it comes with a luxury ball wash mode?  At least this one seems pretty handy, simply place the child into the bidet and run them for a cycle or two before drying.  Really it seems like this purchase is a no brainer.
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Mar 8, 2024 19:37
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my rent is near twice that
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Mar 8, 2024 19:45
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so yes go ahead and take my banking details
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Mar 8, 2024 19:45
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I expect lots of Three Olives posts in here
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Mar 8, 2024 19:49
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cumpantry posted:so yes go ahead and take my banking details I'll also need your SSN, the bank is asking me to verify beyond your routing and account numbers. Bonzo posted:I expect lots of Three Olives posts in here This isn't just about smart toasters or owning 4 refrigerators. A clean bottom is something everyone can appreciate.
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Mar 8, 2024 19:49
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I don't want the French to harvest my butthole data
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Mar 8, 2024 19:49
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That one bidet company that advertises like "would you just WIPE poop if it was on your arm???" always makes me think "no and I would use soap to clean it off which your product also does not do" (apparently it is NOT NECESSARY to use soap on your rear end; O.K., cool, I will stop using soap in the shower too! GOOD PLAN)
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Mar 8, 2024 19:50
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It's only fair we have a Biden thread if we're gonna have a trump thread
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Mar 8, 2024 19:51
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Grey Cat posted:Alright so it's come to my attention that there are some pretty fancy bidets. And for 650 dollars I can't afford NOT to be sitting on one of these. That's supposed to be a picture of a bum op. The other mode sprays the vagine. Edit: I have a cheap POS bidet and it still kicks rear end. I can only imagine what a fancy one like this would be like.
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Mar 8, 2024 19:55
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On the subject of Smart Bathrooms, does anyone have one of these systems? In the next couple of years I am going to redo our shower and I am dying to put one in.
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Mar 8, 2024 19:57
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Dr. Quarex posted:That one bidet company that advertises like "would you just WIPE poop if it was on your arm???" always makes me think "no and I would use soap to clean it off which your product also does not do"
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Mar 8, 2024 19:59
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MakaVillian posted:That's supposed to be a picture of a bum op. The other mode sprays the vagine. I dunno, not really enough crack, plus it would make more sense to have the coochie and ball mode next to each other. I'm getting a bidet installed once we move, maybe not the 650 one but I can dream.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:01
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Grey Cat posted:
I’m not sure that’s water in the top right op
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Mar 8, 2024 20:02
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I’m not sure that’s water in the top right op Uh, it's reusing the piss water, it's eco friendly. Do you hate the environment or something?
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Mar 8, 2024 20:04
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Please avoid buying any IoT devices. I test them for a living and they are mostly rear end.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:06
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I selected "garden hose" because it's kind of true. My apartment toilet is not compatible with the fancy bidets and they won't allow me to make seat modifications for some reason. After talking to some other clean butthole enthusiasts one of them directed me to this easy to install little number. Not as user friendly, and requiring elements of skill, but definitely a life-changer. Also great for spraying down the tub / washing pets. Also, I thought I would be more averse to it not being heated but it's not an issue at all. Cold water is refreshing. Clean buttholes.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:06
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bossy lady posted:they are mostly rear end. This seems like exactly what it should be for a bidet. Jelly posted:I selected "garden hose" because it's kind of true. My apartment toilet is not compatible with the fancy bidets and they won't allow me to make seat modifications for some reason. After talking to some other clean butthole enthusiasts one of them directed me to this easy to install little number. These things are awesome for clean butt and tp saving on the cheap.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:07
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also post / avatar combo etc.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:10
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Dr. Quarex posted:That one bidet company that advertises like "would you just WIPE poop if it was on your arm???" always makes me think "no and I would use soap to clean it off which your product also does not do" This post reminds me of the Daniel Sloss bit about shaving your rear end in a top hat: https://youtu.be/m8Ez7XkvVPA?si=Oe4sR0XXF0qZqaJP
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Mar 8, 2024 20:16
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Grey Cat posted:These seem pretty good, a heated seat you can't go wrong with and heated water is a no brainer. Yeah but if this thing bugs out you’re gonna end up melted to the seat with your rear end in a top hat cauterized from superheated shitwater it spits out, and the the dryer will roast you to a pile of worthless bones
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Mar 8, 2024 20:17
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Dr. Quarex posted:That one bidet company that advertises like "would you just WIPE poop if it was on your arm???" always makes me think "no and I would use soap to clean it off which your product also does not do" I'm not 100% on the timing but I'm pretty sure they directly ripped that off from this amazing scene in Deadpool 2.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:19
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I tried installing a Toto washlet bidet the other day. Got a good deal from Costco. Then I belatedly realized my toilet is round, not elongated. And also the seat would wriggle from side to side regardless of how securely I installed it. Apparently this is a common problem with no fix, even for the more expensive models. I’ll probably just get one of those cheap bidets that don’t require a power socket and don’t require you to change your toilet seat.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:24
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Isn't Smart Bidet the president?
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Mar 8, 2024 20:26
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A good-sized powered roto-tool is all you need for that fresh, clean feeling, OP just make sure to keep it off the "Emulsify" setting
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Mar 8, 2024 20:26
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as soon as this thread was posted an alarm went off on 3o's touchscreen flower vase
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Mar 8, 2024 20:26
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ChickenHeart posted:A good-sized powered roto-tool is all you need for that fresh, clean feeling, OP Sometimes only a deep clean will do.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:37
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Dr. Quarex posted:That one bidet company that advertises like "would you just WIPE poop if it was on your arm???" always makes me think "no and I would use soap to clean it off which your product also does not do" Wait you don’t have a bar of soap exclusively for wiping your rear end when you poo poo???
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Mar 8, 2024 20:42
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I almost bought one of these last year after my $30 under seat attachment broke. I settled for a slightly more expensive $70 bidet seat with no features. It's worse because the water gets on my balls which it didn't with the under seat attachment
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Mar 8, 2024 20:51
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bradzilla posted:I almost bought one of these last year after my $30 under seat attachment broke. I settled for a slightly more expensive $70 bidet seat with no features. It's worse because the water gets on my balls which it didn't with the under seat attachment Can't adjust the angle or whatever? At least you know there's no poo on your balls.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:54
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The average American home does not have a power outlet behind/near the toilet, unlike the Japanese, who require it by code. This has stalled American toilet tech since WW2.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:55
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My bidet runs on kerosene.
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Mar 8, 2024 20:57
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diesel powered bidet with the lift kit and smokestacks
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Mar 8, 2024 21:06
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R.L. Stine posted:as soon as this thread was posted an alarm went off on 3o's touchscreen flower vase drat it, why doesn't this exist? hmmpp... 
Three Olives fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Mar 8, 2024 |
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Mar 8, 2024 21:07
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Squatty potty plus Tushy means you never need to leave the house with a dirty butthole ever again. It is amazing, the squirty thing hits my wifes poo hole perfectly and it keeps me from having to fight all the hair in my crack when wiping.
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Mar 8, 2024 21:07
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My wife had been wanting one since we visited my sister and her husband who had a super fancy $900 whole toilet kind (silicone valley  ) I got her the whatever the top of the line omigo attachment one is called for Christmas when it was on sale for like $250 and she really likes it. It's fancy as hell and wasn't too hard to put together other than I had to cut a hole in the wall to get the power to an outlet.
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Mar 8, 2024 21:14
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Nooner posted:My wife had been wanting one since we visited my sister and her husband who had a super fancy $900 whole toilet kind (silicone valley So you don’t use it? Folks, we got a wiper.
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Mar 8, 2024 21:36
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All anyone needs:
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Mar 8, 2024 21:38
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The water spray icon seems to show the water being ablated by the cheeks before reaching the butthole. Is this for people so bad at wiping they smear feces all over their asses? Doesn't seem so "smart" to me. If that's not the case they need to update the icon so it's clear the water is hitting an anus.
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Mar 8, 2024 21:41
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I shower after every bowel movement and knowing there are people walking around who have no bidet and don't shower after bowel movements makes me want to not be a part of society at all.
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Mar 8, 2024 21:45
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:All anyone needs: lol I brought my own bidet!
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Mar 8, 2024 21:46
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