How do people do all their online stuff on their phones?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > How do people do all their online stuff on their phones?

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

I just got back from a quick run to the grocery store and once I arrived I decided I want to check a couple of recipes for something I'm planning on making soon and see what ingredients they had that I might not have thought of. 5G network, full bars, and I checked three separate sites. One took forever to load, one never loaded at all, one struggled to load, gave me an error, then loaded fine when I hit retry. What would have been a minute long task on an actual computer turned into 5 minutes of bullshit even though I was under optimal conditions. I'm not in the sticks and using Uncle Cooter's Discount Cellular and Nightcrawlers either, I'm in the DC area with T-Mobile.

How do people run their entire lives off their phone when everything is so small and slow and crappy?

# ? Mar 17, 2024 20:37

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# ? May 7, 2024 17:09

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Recipe sites absolutely suck butt on mobile, they're never optimized whatsoever not even the most popular ones. I also don't enjoy scrolling for 10 minutes past 100 ad videos just to see the ingredient list.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 20:42

mawarannahr: May 21, 2019

Grey Cat posted:

Recipe sites absolutely suck butt on mobile, they're never optimized whatsoever not even the most popular ones. I also don't enjoy scrolling for 10 minutes past 100 ad videos just to see the ingredient list.

Here's a bookmarklet for you my dear friend. Prefix with javascript: (cloud flare prevents me posting the whole thing) and paste in URL field.

code:

( function() {
    const selectedRecipe = document.querySelector([
        '.recipe-callout',
        '.tasty-recipes',
        '.easyrecipe',
        '.innerrecipe',
        '.recipe-summary.wide',
        '.wprm-recipe-container',
        '.recipe-content',
        '.simple-recipe-pro',
        '.mv-recipe-card',
        '.recipe',
        'div[itemtype="http://schema.org/Recipe"]',
        'div[itemtype="https://schema.org/Recipe"]',
        '[attribute*="container-recipe"]',
        '.wprm-recipe',
        '.wprm-recipe-simple',
        '.cookbook-recipe',
        '.food-card',
        '.recipebody',
        '#wpurp-container-recipe-10155',
        '.recipe_card'
    ].join(", "));
    if (selectedRecipe) {
        selectedRecipe.scrollIntoView();
    }
}();)

Probably could be improved with regular expressions (ha) but this is just some bit I clipped from a browser extension that only does this one thing.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 20:50

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

poo poo you're too old to understand megathread

# ? Mar 17, 2024 21:32

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

i shop with my ipad pro, the top basket in the cart is for docking your tablet

# ? Mar 17, 2024 21:35

the_nothing: Jan 14, 2024

i cannot stand mobile UIs. how the gently caress do people deal with these things? terrible experience lol.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 21:49

Dixville: Nov 4, 2008; I don't think!; Ham Wrangler

Regular websites suck usually because they want you to INSTALL THE APP which usually also sucks in new and exciting ways. There are some apps that are decent for recipes though especially if you are counting calories or doing low carb or something.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 21:50

neato burrito: Aug 25, 2002; bitch better have my chex mix

Grey Cat posted:

Recipe sites absolutely suck butt on mobile, they're never optimized whatsoever not even the most popular ones. I also don't enjoy scrolling for 10 minutes past 100 ad videos just to see the ingredient list.

Paprika 3 is the app you want.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 21:51

the_nothing: Jan 14, 2024

Dixville posted:

Regular websites suck usually because they want you to INSTALL THE APP which usually also sucks in new and exciting ways. There are some apps that are decent for recipes though especially if you are counting calories or doing low carb or something.

this is loving bullshit too. gently caress off with all the mobile apps. i am not installing a loving app to look at a loving website

# ? Mar 17, 2024 21:56

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

The 4/5G works pretty well here, the rest of the experience on mobile still blows goats.

the_nothing posted:

this is loving bullshit too. gently caress off with all the mobile apps. i am not installing a loving app to look at a loving website

Oh you don't want an app? How about

SUBSCRIBE OT OUR NEWSLETTER?

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:14

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

I just go through burners so pretty much throw it away at the Circle K every day.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:16

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020

throw it away
at the Circle K
throw it away
every day

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:29

Junk: Dec 20, 2003; Can't post for 10 hours!

Smugworth posted:

poo poo you're too old to understand megathread

gbs really just needs 2 unified megathreads for "things that are good" and "things that are bad"

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:31

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

Junk posted:

gbs really just needs 2 unified megathreads for "things that are good" and "things that are bad"

yeah we definitely need more megathreads on SA

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:38

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

the_nothing posted:

this is loving bullshit too. gently caress off with all the mobile apps. i am not installing a loving app to look at a loving website

I tried to look at Yelp reviews of a local place and it let me search for it but wouldn't show me the reviews unless I installed the app. No thanks, Yelp.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:40

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

cumpantry posted:

throw it away
at the Circle K
throw it away
every day

*Ska beat

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:41

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

in the future you'll be able to don your apple vision pro, then walk down virtual store aisles marking items for purchase from the comfort of your living room. then a local delivery crew will bring the items to your home and stock them in your 2nd refrigerator.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:43

Hollismason: Jun 30, 2007; FEEL FREE TO DISREGARD THIS POST

It is guaranteed to be lazy, ignorant, and/or uninformed.

I really wish groceries store delivery had virtual aisles that you could go down and look at stuff and pick it out

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:53

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

I'll be deep in the cold loving ground before I let some rear end in a top hat I don't know pick my produce

# ? Mar 17, 2024 22:58

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

Grey Cat posted:

Recipe sites absolutely suck butt on mobile, they're never optimized whatsoever not even the most popular ones. I also don't enjoy scrolling for 10 minutes past 100 ad videos just to see the ingredient list.

Phone only people are smart enough to just get all their meals pre-made and delivered by Factor.

Hollismason posted:

I really wish groceries store delivery had virtual aisles that you could go down and look at stuff and pick it out

Mark Zuckerberg must be spinning in his grave.

# ? Mar 17, 2024 23:04

Doctor Dogballs: Apr 1, 2007; driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station

i have a bunch of book with recipes in them, so i never have to wait for them to load, run out of battery, or watch ads

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:07

its all nice on rice: Nov 12, 2006; Sweet, Salty Goodness.; Buglord

It's pronounced "mobile."

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:09

Stealthgerbil: Dec 16, 2004

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I'll be deep in the cold loving ground before I let some rear end in a top hat I don't know pick my produce

I feel the same. Like you think they are going to spend the time and pick out the best produce available? No way. They are going to say some poo poo is out of stock that you know the store has, like they are going to claim tomatoes were out of stock.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:12

R.L. Stine: Oct 19, 2007; welcome to dead gay dog house

i rdp into my desktop to play video games on my phone

neato burrito posted:

Paprika 3 is the app you want.

paprika is insanely worth it. i couldn't imagine using anything else

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:20

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Stealing suggestions from this thread :cheers:

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:22

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

I use my phone for recipes every day and it's not a big deal, op

Do you have your laptop set up in the kitchen or what?

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:22

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

I have begun to forget my phone exists, and I like it.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:23

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

neato burrito posted:

Paprika 3 is the app you want.

I will look into this, thank you

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:25

SonOfGhostDad: Nov 16, 2022

The Awful App makes it pretty easy, OP

# ? Mar 18, 2024 04:53

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I like that modern UIs almost feel uniformly slower, less responsive, and less intuitive than windows XP did 20 years ago.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 05:11

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

Hollismason posted:

I really wish groceries store delivery had virtual aisles that you could go down and look at stuff and pick it out

smacking the poo poo out of someone in the vr wal-mart cause they took the last bag of ranch sunflower seeds

# ? Mar 18, 2024 05:17

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

the pentium 4 had like 50 million transistors. a modern desktop or laptop processor has at least 10 billion. of course the UI is gonna be slower now, it's gotta trickle through 100x as many logic gates.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 05:17

Squee: Jun 15, 2003; <3

I work at a medium-smallish software developer, and one of the things we make is a few different kinds of business management/scheduling software. It amazes me how frequently we get requests that people would like to do 100% of their business from their loving smartphones via our apps. Like, you are running a hair salon that employees 10+ people, buy a loving laptop at least.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 05:25

Worf: Sep 12, 2017; Can't post for 10 hours!

Grey Cat posted:

Recipe sites absolutely suck butt on mobile, they're never optimized whatsoever not even the most popular ones. I also don't enjoy scrolling for 10 minutes past 100 ad videos just to see the ingredient list.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I like that modern UIs almost feel uniformly slower, less responsive, and less intuitive than windows XP did 20 years ago.

*opens recipe for chopped onions at cookingmilf.ru*

*full page pop up asking if I�ll allow cookies*

Accept

*scroll down*

*top and bottom banner combine with the full page banner so I see 0% of the site*

*scroll down*

Get an onion

*scroll down*

*embedded video of woman amazed at radishes plays*

Site tells me in slightly different terms to get 1 onion

*are u sure u don�t want to join our mailing list*

*scroll down*

*5 paragraphs on the history of how this woman discovered onions*

Prep time 5 minutes
Cook time 15 minutes
Onion

*scroll down*

Instant pot advertisement

*scroll down*

*it�s another embedded video where she�s ecstatic about almonds*

Cut the onion

*full screen ad asking for email again*

Comment from heather2001qt: I substituted a banana for the onion because I found it too spicy great recipe otherwise 5/5

Comment from CaptainCook: thank you for this, I�ve been searching for ages for something like this 3/5

Comment from MyCatsLoveMe: does this also work with large onioms?

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:08

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Grey Cat posted:

Recipe sites absolutely suck butt on mobile, they're never optimized whatsoever not even the most popular ones. I also don't enjoy scrolling for 10 minutes past 100 ad videos just to see the ingredient list.

That sounds pretty optimized to me.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:09

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

To be fair, most people�s personal computers are a piece of poo poo that they bought because it was the cheapest laptop at Walmart that day. It doesn�t have enough ram to run a browser without constant swapping, has 15 minutes of battery life, cheapest washed out LCD screen they could cram into it, terrible trackpad, it�s slow as gently caress, and that�s all before it was infested with malware.

By comparison their phone is amazingly fast and pleasant to use.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 07:53

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

10,000 word article about cooking a chicken breast. Good luck finding the actual recipe.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 08:19

Buce: Dec 23, 2005; Can't post for 6 hours!

Grey Cat posted:

Recipe sites absolutely suck butt on mobile, they're never optimized whatsoever not even the most popular ones. I also don't enjoy scrolling for 10 minutes past 100 ad videos just to see the ingredient list.

nyt cooking works just fine :smuggo:

# ? Mar 18, 2024 08:23

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

the_nothing posted:

this is loving bullshit too. gently caress off with all the mobile apps. i am not installing a loving app to look at a loving website

I don't install any app I don't have a good reason to, and I use Duckduckgo's tracker blocker to stop the ones I do have from broadcasting whatever the gently caress they want to whomever they loving want.

https://www.vox.com/money/23743915/iphone-android-apps-airline-dentist-pandemic-data-privacy-restaurant

# ? Mar 18, 2024 08:53

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# ? May 7, 2024 17:09

SidneyIsTheKiller: Jul 16, 2019; I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I don't install any app I don't have a good reason to, and I use Duckduckgo's tracker blocker to stop the ones I do have from broadcasting whatever the gently caress they want to whomever they loving want.

https://www.vox.com/money/23743915/iphone-android-apps-airline-dentist-pandemic-data-privacy-restaurant

I've gone and downloaded android developer tools in order to delete the preloaded browser apps and browser on my phone that the OS itself doesn't let you touch.

Not saying that to brag, just mentioning how far one has to go to keep unwanted bloatware from their personal device that they own.

# ? Mar 18, 2024 09:04

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > How do people do all their online stuff on their phones?

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