|
It's that time of year again, the NFL Draft. According to some GMs, the draft is the only legal way to add talent to your team, as free agency is a den of trickery and greed into which no honest man should step. But I think we can all agree that it's a fun way to show off your player evaluation skills. And with that, welcome to the 2024 Goon Draft! The Rules  PLEASE READ THE RULES WHY WOULD YOU SIGN UP FOR THIS AND NOT READ THE RULESEach team will have one poster as its GM, responsible for making the picks (which, for the sake of easy tracking, will be posted in a separate thread once the draft commences). Teams are first come first serve. War rooms are fine, so long as there is a designated spokesperson. The clock on each pick is 24 hours, at which point if the spokesperson has not made a pick I will make one for them.No trades will be allowed, as they just tend to complicate things and previous drafts have run much more efficiently without them. If you just want to take part and don’t care which team you get, post and I’ll assign you to a team that might not have any other takers (probably be a few this year). The goal is to start by April 1, but we'll start earlier if all the teams are claimed. Round 1 1) Chicago Bears (from Carolina) trevorreznik 2) Washington Commanders Relentlessboredomm 3) New England Patriots Anderson Koopa 4) Arizona Cardinals Kevino07 5) Los Angeles Chargers a neat cape 6) New York Giants Ornery and Hornery 7) Tennessee Titans Bismack Billabongo 8) Atlanta Falcons Sad King Billy 9) Chicago Bears trevorreznik 10) New York Jets Professor Funk 11) Minnesota Vikings Darth Brooks 12) Denver Broncos 3 DONG HORSE 13) Las Vegas Raiders Black Sunshine 14) New Orleans Saints Eltoasto 15) Indianapolis Colts ShakeZula 16) Seattle Seahawks EmbryoSteve 17) Jacksonville Jaguars Amy Pole Her 18) Cincinnati Bengals a patagonian cavy 19) Los Angeles Rams Play 20) Pittsburgh Steelers Perry the Platypus 21) Miami Dolphins Hamhandler 22) Philadelphia Eagles Quiet Feet 23) Minnesota Vikings (from Cleveland through Houston) Darth Brooks 24) Dallas Cowboys xbilkis 25) Green Bay Packers A Sneaker Broker 26) Tampa Bay Buccaneers wandler20 27) Arizona Cardinals (from Houston) Kevino07 28) Buffalo Bills fsif 29) Detroit Lions Hizawk 30) Baltimore Ravens Solarjetman 31) San Francisco 49ers Grozz Nuy 32) Kansas City Chiefs No Butt Stuff No first rounder: Houston Texans Sad King Billy Carolina Panthers IcePhoenix Cleveland Browns Cavauro Go ahead and claim your team! ShakeZula fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Apr 4, 2024 |
#
¿
Mar 23, 2024 20:38
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 10, 2024 19:48 |
|
|
Ornery and Hornery posted:Please give me priority for whatever team doesn’t have a taker! Any orphan team will do. Heck I’d happily do any of the teams without a first. I’d even do Atlanta or Arizona. Whatever team is left You got it
|
|
#
¿
Mar 23, 2024 21:05
|
|
|
trevorreznik posted:Bears please Well the guy who picked them last year got banned apparently, so let's hope not!
|
|
#
¿
Mar 23, 2024 21:29
|
|
|
On the one hand, Cavauro is a known scofflaw who actively roots for a division rival of the team he's selected. On the other hand, do the Ravens deserve better if no one else claims them? Incidentally, since we're aiming to start this thing on Monday, I'll give it another day or two and then assign teams to the people who are undeclared. If you're picking for a team already and are willing to handle a second as well, let me know and that would be helpful.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 28, 2024 21:42
|
|
|
Anderson Koopa posted:This sounds like it might be fun. I'm open to trying it. I'll take an unclaimed team if one is available. Pats are all yours, as they usually end up going unclaimed
|
|
#
¿
Mar 28, 2024 22:38
|
|
|
Alright, I'll be posting the picks thread sometime tomorrow, with the intent still being to start things off on Monday. For those of you who offered to pick for an unclaimed teams, I have assigned them as follows: Ornery and Hornery - Giants xbilkis - Cowboys Solarjetman - Ravens Sad King Billy - Falcons Cavauro - Browns
|
|
#
¿
Mar 31, 2024 04:43
|
|
|
Panthers are as yet unclaimed, but I figured we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Worst case I'll just pick for them.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 31, 2024 17:10
|
|
|
Picks thread is now live, trevorreznik and the Bears are on the clock.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2024 02:18
|
|
|
I think you made a fine choice
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2024 02:49
|
|
|
Wow, at this rate we're on track for the entire first round to be quarterbacks!
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2024 07:18
|
|
|
Yeah 3 is always my goal, and if we get through that anything else is gravy
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2024 20:58
|
|
|
drat, three WRs in the top 5 is crazy
|
|
#
¿
Apr 2, 2024 01:41
|
|
|
JJ McCarthy just wins games, and that trend generally continues in the NFL
|
|
#
¿
Apr 2, 2024 16:49
|
|
|
Anderson Koopa posted:Anyone have last year's goon mock draft? I'm kind of curious how accurate we will be as a collective. Here are the picks threads from the last couple of years: 2023 2022 2021 There's some built-in error just because of no trades, but I think we generally get the broad strokes pretty close.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 2, 2024 20:25
|
|
|
Play posted:Huh I could've sworn I did 2021 as well, guess not. Maybe I did 2020 and 2022. Sadly nobody claimed the Rams in 2020, but you did pick for them in 2019. And you took Jeffery Simmons with the 31st pick, which in hindsight was pretty smart!
|
|
#
¿
Apr 3, 2024 01:53
|
|
|
Don't look at me, we're about halfway through the Saints' time
|
|
#
¿
Apr 3, 2024 14:59
|
|
|
Meanwhile the CB value was simply too enticing for me to pass up, especially since Indy's only veteran DB is a slot corner
|
|
#
¿
Apr 3, 2024 15:16
|
|
|
Amy Pole Her posted:YOU BASTARD COLTS I KNEW IT. I knew you were going to do that to me 😡 Draft-sniping a divisional rival is a truly rare and beautiful feeling
|
|
#
¿
Apr 3, 2024 16:45
|
|
|
IcePhoenix posted:If nobody actually wants the Panthers I can make picks for them. They're all yours
|
|
#
¿
Apr 4, 2024 02:25
|
|
|
Dolphins coming up on being the first team to miss their pick Edit: And miss it they did. Dolphins pick will be posted momentarily. ShakeZula fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Apr 5, 2024 |
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2024 01:26
|
|
|
drat, guess I have to put the second round order up pretty soon
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2024 18:53
|
|
|
Went ahead and added the second round order to the picks thread OP. Almost time to welcome the Panthers, Texans, and Browns to the party.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2024 20:21
|
|
|
Hizawk posted:Literally drafted the Kool Aid man. Thank you for fulfilling the implicit goal of this whole exercise
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2024 23:03
|
|
|
I feel like the narrative on Latham has started to shift, and people are lower on him than they used to beNo Butt Stuff posted:poo poo my turn is so close. Who has that spreadsheet? It's linked in the OP of the picks thread
|
|
#
¿
Apr 5, 2024 23:31
|
|
|
You'll take the guy I saw attributed to the Dolphins in the first mock I found, and you'll like it
|
|
#
¿
Apr 6, 2024 01:41
|
|
|
First round in the books, possibly in record time? I'm too lazy to go back and check, so let's say it was!
|
|
#
¿
Apr 6, 2024 15:11
|
|
|
At least in the old days for the Raiders you could just pull up the combine stats, sort by 40 time, and work your way down the list
|
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2024 17:19
|
|
|
I added it, but I refuse to accept that TJ Tampa is a real name
|
|
#
¿
Apr 8, 2024 00:43
|
|
|
We're really cruising, guess I'll have to get the Round 3 order ready pretty soon
|
|
#
¿
Apr 11, 2024 14:11
|
|
|
Third round order has been added to the picks thread OP
|
|
#
¿
Apr 11, 2024 20:45
|
|
|
Darth Brooks posted:The Vikings have two picks in the first round and then nothing in the second and third. It really is all about who they get at the top of the draft. Which honesty isn't a bad position if you remove the pressure of having to draft a QB with one of those first-rounders
|
|
#
¿
Apr 12, 2024 22:26
|
|
|
Current players and future picks are two of the major reasons I don't include trades as a part of this whole thing, on top of the inevitable delays where people wait for trade offers. Future picks are basically just ephemera since the same people might not be drafting for the teams the next year, and thus have no reason to not just offer their next four full drafts to move up 3 spots, and same deal with current players. I've entertained the idea of allowing trades of picks within a single draft, but ultimately couldn't figure out a reliable way to fix the delay problem and also I'm too lazy to adjust the draft order to reflect those trades in later rounds.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 13, 2024 04:11
|
|
|
Two full rounds in the books, hell yeah
|
|
#
¿
Apr 13, 2024 15:41
|
|
|
Anderson Koopa posted:Shakezula thank you for hosting this, any chance we can take it to 4 rounds? I generally consider 3 rounds to be a successful draft, but if we make it through round 3 with time to spare I'm not opposed to keeping it rolling. Round 3 is usually pretty tough though. It's where you get a lot of teams with repeat picks, teams that have no picks, and comp picks that make it longer than the preceding rounds.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 14, 2024 02:41
|
|
|
I'll make the pick for the Raiders in a few minutes if Black Sunshine doesn't
|
|
#
¿
Apr 16, 2024 17:05
|
|
|
Honestly I was debating between Bullock and Hall myself, but the Colts real GM seems happy to pay DL and doesn't seem at all interested in paying the secondary, so I felt like the draft was the only route for improvement.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2024 17:47
|
|
|
Yeah, it's like I said, the third round is a real gauntlet for a variety of reasons. We'd have to finish the third round in the next day or two for it to be really worth going for the fourth in my opinion.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2024 18:12
|
|
|
Didn't the Dolphins forfeit a pick for tampering or something?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2024 18:25
|
|
|
You guys are really trying to make me post the Round 4 order, aren't you?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2024 23:10
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 10, 2024 19:48 |
|
|
I'll make the Jags pick in a few minutes
|
|
#
¿
Apr 19, 2024 14:57
|
|