- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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AITAH for breaking up with my fiancée after hearing her bullying my ex gf?
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We (m33, f28) have been together 3 years. Engaged for 1. Before her I dated Sarah(f34). We are all acquaintances and while we don’t hang out with Sarah, occasionally we run into her. While my break up with Sarah wasn’t amicable, we are very cordial now. We don’t talk. But my fiancée didn’t keep it this way did she?
We were at house warming party and Sarah was there which set my fiancée on edge and I noticed that but I didn’t say anything because she’s an adult. Then I overheard her talking to Sarah and some other girls. My fiancée was laughing and telling Sarah omg you are so fat now. It made me ick. When Sarah left I asked my fiancée wtf? She laughed and said it was nothing Sarah did look like she gained weight. She left to get more wine and one other friend told me that my fiancée always bullied Sarah.
I don’t want to be married to a bully I tried talking and discussing why it wasn’t ok with my fiancée but she was brushing it off not seeing any problems. I broke up with her. She started crying and begging but I said it was over. I don’t want to be married to a bully. She called me the AH and that I chose Sarah over her, my fiancée. Now everyone is calling me AH.
The only reason I can think of to why she calls me the AH is that my fiancée liked me way before we got together. Even before I got together with Sarah. So maybe it was personal for her given the new information that my fiancée never liked Sarah (and I got together with her)
Edit: I want to apologize for using “ick” as a 33 year old man. Many are disturbed by it LOL, sorry guys
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Apr 4, 2024 16:04
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May 21, 2024 08:23
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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So she can have ANOTHER grandbaby. They already have a daughter.
She probably wants a grandson. Girl’s don’t count!
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Apr 6, 2024 22:24
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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Remember the one where the young woman’s friend proposed to her out of no where? It got an update:
[UPDATE] My (25F) best friend (24M) proposed to me. I’m confused and mortified. Where can we go from here? HOPEFULLY FINAL UPDATE
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Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/NYwOKIyv70
First Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/8eNEmoVOqh
Hey it’s me again!
Still doing okay and hoping this will be the last update I need to make (Granted I thought the last one would be the last). I did say I wasn’t going to make another update unless something significant happened. That’s why it’s been a week, so I’m sorry for the silence.
Following my update post, Jordan’s mum did message me back on Facebook, that same day. We had a chat for a little while, she’s a really nice lady 😊
She agreed though that this was incredibly out of character for Jordan, and in fact, she mentioned a few other things that she had noticed as being ‘off’ about him in the last few weeks. Nothing crazy, just things here and there she’d never known him to do or say.
I spoke with her at length about Jordan’s mental health and potential psychosis, and she told me that there is a history of mental illness on his dad’s side, including a paternal uncle’s suicide, but that she doesn’t know all that much about it because they’ve not spoken to one another in quite a long while.
Our conversation lasted about an hour, I showed her Jordan’s texts etc and she agreed that they sounded quite manic, regardless of how coherent they were.
A lot of people also asked if he had told our mutual friends and acquaintances that we were dating. I did message our mutual friends, our dorm mates etc and they all basically said they’ve got no idea what I’m talking about. So it seems he’s just been sort of having these thoughts by himself without expressing them? I don’t know how to get in contact with his close friends that we don’t share, so I can’t really ask them.
Anyway, for a few days, that was it. Until yesterday evening anyway, which is where the big and positive depending on how you see it update comes.
I got word from Jordan’s mum that he had been detained under Section 136 by the police. For anyone not from the UK or who (like me) doesn’t know what that is, from what I can tell it basically means he was suffering from an obvious mental health disorder in public, with their behaviour concerning enough that they’re a danger to themselves or to others, and police think they need immediate and urgent care.
What I know from here is pretty minimal. I’m not sure where he was taken to, but his mum said that he would be there for the day while they perform a mental health assessment (so I assume that’s what they’re doing today). She said that essentially he had been out in the streets yelling about things, she didn’t specify what, and intimidating other people on the street. He was throwing things around and generally just causing a lot of issue. Police got called because people thought that he was drunk. They established he wasn’t (not sure if that’s just from how he was acting, breathalyser etc? I honestly don’t really know how it works) and that’s all I know.
His mum and I again had a chat and we sort of assume that mental health / psychosis is likely right. The rejection of the proposal probably set him into a spiral of getting worse in the last few days, bringing us to where we are right now. I do feel pretty awful about that. I’m doing my best not to blame myself, but it’s hard not to feel like I caused it.
Either way, way, he is currently with police / mental health professionals etc likely being assessed.
I don’t know how the system works, so I’m not sure what will happen beyond this point. If someone with more knowledge wants to chime in, please do.
I’m hopeful though that this will mean Jordan will be able to get some help for whatever it is he is currently dealing with.
My hope is therefore I won’t *need* to update again, and this can end here.
I have yet to speak to the university about the situation just yet. Not really sure how to / if I should approach that, so I’m leaving it be for now.
This has been a whole lot of emotions, and I really appreciate the help of everyone on my last two posts.
Again, I won’t update again now unless something major happens, but I highly doubt I will learn much more.
Thanks again everyone, and thanks for following along. It’s been really reassuring to have this support and people with way more understanding than I have to help me.
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Apr 9, 2024 01:05
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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Re: r/relationships: I’m sorry, but if your wife cheated on you with your dad and you have to ask Reddit whether or not you’re the arsehole for leaving her then I simply don’t believe you are real.
Probably too long for a thread title
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Apr 11, 2024 05:29
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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If we’re reposting classics, I’m missing the title but this one is saved to my phone. It’s the sex role-play “OFFICER DOWN” one.
quote: So we've been with eachother for 6 years. Our sex life is just as good as when it started, I just wanted to try out some kinkier stuff so I suggested roleplaying. Kevin (husband) was somewhat open to the idea, but also thought it was a bit ridiculous. This is something I've always wanted to try, sort of like a fetish. So we got a few costumes, a Cop outfit and a Spy trenchcoat for him, and a nurse and cheerleader outfit for me. All of our roleplaying revolves around one person being in character, and the other interacting with them.
But he takes his roles as a joke! He goes intentionally extreme with the roles. I know he thinks it's a bit ridiculous, and I know he has more fun when he does this, but I want a real roleplay!
For example, when he dressed up as the Cop, he was supposed to do a stop and frisk, arrest me, etc, but in a sexy way. But instead, he kicks open the door, screams "HANDS UP THIS IS A RAID" and basically tackles me to the bed (this is OKAY it's NOT ABUSE we have rough dom/sub sex all the time), handcuffs me, literally reads me my Miranda Rights, leaves me there and rummages through the drawers throwing stuff everywhere, pulls out a little baggy of weed and goes apeshit like a cop might. I play a long, try to get him to 'let me go' if I can do sexual favours for him. Then we have some rough sex with handcuffs and everything. The actual sex was good but he kept speaking into his fake radio calling for backup, when I was on top he would shout OFFICER DOWN OFFICER DOWN.
With the Spy outfit he would come in and check me for wires and do the whole Pink Panther thing where he says "It is lovely weather we are having" while sneaking to the drapes and then beating the drapes up. I was envisioning a more James Bond-eqsue seduction.
Like, I like the sex, it's good, but I wanted a more porn-like experience. And it was kinda funny but not what I thought. And I KNOW that he thinks roleplay is ridiculous, and that he is trying to have fun with it but I feel like he doesn't know what I want. And I don't hate him for it, he's a big fuckin goofball in or out of our roles, but I want to have MY experience. How can I tell him this?
Another fav is the “gotta hit the drippini” one. I love the low stakes ones where one partner is excessively silly.
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Apr 17, 2024 18:37
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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it's a sixer that's a stern "take a nap and come back" who cares
this thread does get worse when we're trying to one up each other with sad pet stories
Yeah I’m fine with the 6er/“hey be more careful next time”. This is, in fact, way better than last thread where Cowslips would one-up any animal abuse story with some nauseating, often unspoilered animal death story.
Ok content. Try to guess what this guy’s upset about :
My wife (37F) and I (38M) were humiliated by being denied entry at a bar this weekend. It ruined our date night and has had us feeling awful ever since. What can we do?
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This last weekend, my wife were out on a date to a concert. After we left the show, we wanted to try out a new really popular bar that was a few blocks away. When we got there, there was a giant line to get in. She really wanted to see it, so we waited around fifteen or twenty minutes.
As we got close to the front, a group of people that had a look as if they walked out of a magazine or some instagram influencer page roamed up to the front of the line and were invited in by the staff. As soon as they did, the line closed off right as we were at the front of the line.
My wife and I are both pushing 40 and are not exactly as glamorous looking as that group, even though I think we were dressed just as nicely and put ourselves together the best we can.
Getting plainly told in coded language that we weren't good enough or good looking enough was a really embarrassing moment and it really kind of ruined our night.
Neither of us were ever the popular kids in school, were always the types to be picked last, and frankly have put up with that sort of thing our whole lives. Getting ridiculed in that way was a really hurtful way to whiplash us into some PTSD and I don't think either of us have been able to stop reliving that moment in our head ever since.
Are we awful for letting this affect us so badly? How can we move on?
TLDR - I kind of feel like I need some sort of resolution to this to really move past it and forget it but I have no idea what. What can we do?
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Apr 22, 2024 16:57
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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Similar in theme to the “rejected” 40 year olds:
My (19M) Girlfriend (19F) is Upset That She's Not the Only Daughter-in-Law Anymore. How do I reassure her?
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Hey everyone,
My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been together for 2 years, and things have generally been great between us. However, a recent incident has left her feeling quite sad, and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it.
So, here's what happened: my dad recently saw my brother's boyfriend, and as any good host would, he offered him a glass of water and asked how school was. Now, this seemingly innocent gesture has made my gf feel replaced. She's expressed to me that she feels like she's not as special to my family anymore now that she's not the only daughter/son-in-law prospect.
I can understand where she's coming from to some extent but its not like my family forgot about her and stopped caring. She's always been quite close to my family, and I know she values her relationship with them a lot. But I never imagined that something as trivial as offering someone a glass of water could make her feel so sidelined.
How could I go about this?
Thanks for listening.
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Apr 22, 2024 22:20
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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Isn't this kind of fairly common?
Yeah wasn’t this why women were supposed to ride side saddle? I think it’s a common trope in old-timey literature for there to be a thing with women and horses and virginity.
Also uh you get bounced around a lot at higher speeds (which you’re supposed to brace by posting, which is kinda bobbing up and down with the horse with your hips). I did horseback riding for a couple months when I was 12 (and quit the day we tried cantering, too scary lol). I remember people telling me that horseback riding can break your hymen. 🙃
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Apr 23, 2024 06:44
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- Crocobile
- Dec 2, 2006
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I'm a little confused about what this dude gets out of having the same conversation which is basically him just bitching with several different people in a row.
A captive audience.
Oh god a terrible snipe!
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
Crocobile fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Apr 23, 2024
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Apr 23, 2024 22:43
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May 21, 2024 08:23
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Apr 4, 2024 16:04
Like no one's saying it you weirdos, but it would still be weird to put meemaw's (a human) ashes in the wedding ring.