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FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Big John will live forever in our hearts.

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FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Trying to un-disown your child by demanding to speak to the manager

AITA for calling the police on my mother for coming to my workplace?

quote:

I (42F) own a cafe with my husband (46M). It was passed down to us from his parents. My husband has his own career so running the cafe is my job and I love it. I used to have a purely managerial role when the kids were younger but now I like to get involved with making food/serving customers.

I haven’t spoken to my family as a whole in a very long time. I’ve spoke with a select few members every now and then but it’s very surface level. This is because I used to be an addict when i was a teen and they disowned me. I don’t blame them because I was a nightmare to deal with but that’s what happened.

I got clean, met my husband who is also a former addict (we met while volunteering at a support group for newly clean addicts) and we got married and had four beautiful children.

I never reached out to my family ever because I considered the disowning the end of our chapter in life together. Additionally, I watched how my husband’s family never turned their back on him and stuck by him through it all. Yes, I know how difficult that is to do and they are saints for doing it but still, I was secretly jealous that my family were so quick to toss me away when his family was determined to see him through it.

One family member i speak to occasionally (probably twice a year) is my older brother. He wants me to ‘come back’ to the family but I’m happy with my life and see no reason to revisit painful feelings. He found out about the cafe when i took a more active role in running it. He comes by occasionally and a few weeks ago, he tagged the cafe in a facebook post. It’s not like i’m in witness protection so there are photos of me and my husband on the facebook page and one thing lead to another and now members of my family cannot stop coming to the place to see me. I had to take time off to avoid them and it was hard on our staff who were constantly being asked to speak to the manager. They were demanding that I speak to them and reconcile and said that I was holding a grudge for 2 decades.

My brother told them to stop numerous times, I told them to stop but it was a nightmare. I went into my CCTV and took the photos of the family member who kept coming and made a ‘banned list’. If they came in, they would be considered trespassing and the police would be called. They were informed of this.

Yesterday, my mother came and yelled at my cashier (who is my husbands niece) to get me from my office. I asked her to leave, and then called the cops. They came and made her leave by physically removing her.

Now, I am having my facebook page bombarded with comments from family calling me every name under the sun. I spoke to my in laws who are the most sensible people I know and they said I probably shouldn’t have called the cops as it escalated the situation. My family are demanding an apology and i’m starting to think i overreacted. AITA?
I can't believe you're holding a silly grudge over the fact that we literally disowned you and drove you out of our family!

FMguru fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Apr 2, 2024

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Solid username.

Content!

AITAH for telling my sister to leave me and my family alone

quote:

I 28 F have a younger sister Ann who is 27. Liam, 28 M has been my best friend since elementary school. The three of us went to the same college and during this time Ann asked me to hook her and Liam up so I did and after Ann graduated college they were married. I was the maid of honor and did everything for her so she wasn’t insecure in the fact that Liam and I were close.

During my time in college I met Noah and got married after I graduated. Him and my sister ended up working at the same company. For three years everything was going great. Me and my sister was pregnant at the same time so our kids are the same age and do everything together.

Two years ago, I wanted to surprise my husband on his birthday. He wanted to just stay home and watch football. I told him I had to work, that way I was able to pick up his favorite things. I got home and seen my sisters car, I went in and found them on the couch cheating on me and Liam. I hurried and took pictures before screaming at them to get out of my house.

My sister begged me not to tell Liam but I already texted him and my husband gave all the cheating excuses.

My parents were extremely mad at her but didn’t want to cut Ann off because of their grandson which was understandable. Me and Liam of course filed for divorce and he was my shoulder to cry on.

I guess Noah and Ann got together because they started posting pictures on Instagram. I would have been depressed if it weren’t for Liam. And eventually our relationship turned into something more. During this time my ex kept texting me saying how sorry he was and Ann was a mistake and he hates her.

I ignored him and as soon as our divorces was final me and Liam went to the courthouse to get married. I posted the ring on Instagram and my sister showed up immediately to our house, crying. She asked how we can do this to her.

I explained if she didn’t ruin both our marriages then nobody would be in this predicament. She said sorry and broke down even more and then threw up so I invited her in and helped clean her off.

She couldn’t stop saying how much she hates herself and that she hopes me and Liam are happy but asked if I can get an annulment so she could try to win her family back. I laughed in her face and said this is my family now and if that is your goal you need to leave us alone.

I told her it’s time to leave and she did. But she keeps sending me text asking if i can get the annulment. My dad and older brother are on my side but my mom thinks it was too soon and that I’m rubbing the marriage in my sisters face.
An annulment! LOL, eat poo poo sis.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

wheatpuppy posted:

I feel like mom isn't wrong here. "As soon as the divorce was final" marriages aren't known for working out long term. Also, I feel exhausted just trying to imagine explaining the family dynamics to the kids when they are older.
Yeah, traumatic rebound relationships aren't built on the solidest foundation so OP probably should have slowed her roll a bit.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
When you have a chance to turn a celebration of your love and future together with your partner into also being a chance to humiliate your one too-pretty friend you've always hated, well you just have to take it.

AITAH for refusing to attend my best friend's wedding because she wants me to wear an oversized suit (I'm a woman) ?

quote:

Rita (29F) and I (31F) have been best friends for nearly a decade, but ever since she announced she was getting married our friendship has been unraveling at supersonic speed, starting with her picking her sister in law to be her maid of honor even though they barely knew each other. I've been getting over all of the shenanigans she's been pulling by saying that it's her wedding, her rules, but this one is the straw that broke the camel's back. Friday she revealed what dresses she picked for the bridesmaids: very lovely green gowns. She then took me aside and requested that unlike the other bidesmaids, I wear a suit. Not just any suit, but one she picked herself which was an oversized, badly tailored green suit that honestly looked like something the riddler would wear if he had to shop in a Gotham goodwill on a tight budget. I'm not talking trendy oversized, I'm talking a 10 times too big, badly tailored men's suit.

Her reasoning was that me being in a dress at her wedding would make her uncomfortable and she would overthink that I was drawing too much attention because of my body shape. I'm a small woman with big "assests" and an exxagerated hourglass figure, there's nothing I can do about it it's just how the women in my family are built, and if anything I wear loose clothing to avoid any unwanted remarks or attention and because I'm not the biggest fan of how I look. I've never worn a suit in my life, but I tried to reason with her and ask if I could pick the one I had to wear myself but she refused. I floated like 10 dresses by her, which were very unflattering on me and loose as hell, but she still refused. I told her me being dressed like a clown would be what would actually attract the attention, but she's adamant that's the only solution.

So I tore off the bandaid myself and told her I wasn't coming to her wedding, since there was no way I was going to wear what she wanted me to. She accused me of being selfish, uncaring, and vain. I live in a small town and news of this traveled fast since her soon to be husband thought it was appropriate to spread the info to anybody and everybody. A couple of people have made some passive agressive remarks saying I should basically suck it up since she's been a great friend towards me for a decade, which is true.

I feel like poo poo since I've just lost my one best friend over something so stupid, but at the same time I feel like the whole thing is humiliating with how outrageous it is. AITA reddit? Should I have tried to reason more ?
OP should attend the wedding as a guest, wearing some kind of stunning tight gold lame outfit that really draws attention away from the bride.


Scathach posted:

Go change your names, goons!
Pnurtis P. Pnurtis, checking in.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
A classic - estranged, abusive family member suddenly reaches out and is all sweetness and light. Gosh, could it be that they want something?

AITAH for not helping my “sister” out of a financial hole because she was a monster to me?

quote:

I 26F grew up with 2 other siblings. 29M and 34F My sister is 9 years older than me so we never really got to bond? She was also always really mean to me and would hit me and push me around. I still have a scar on my face from her pushing me off of a rock wall in a park when I was 11. I later found out that I am not my fathers kid and he didn’t find out until I was 3 and that’s when my dad divorced my mom and she ultimately blames me for, in her words, “my parents splitting up” I haven’t spoken to my sister since I was… 13? She would call me “bastard baby” and “the home wrecker”

When I was 17 I couldn’t go to college because my mom wasn’t well off. My brother said he would help and he asked my sister if she would chip in and she wouldn’t. So I ultimately decided I wouldn’t go. I got a Job and worked. When I was 19 I was invited to a party and that’s where I met my boyfriend. We got married when I was 22 (I know that’s young, no need to tell me) and he put me through college. I am now a nurse with my bachelors and I’m going back for my masters soon.

My husband is well off... My brother lost his Job during Covid and hasn’t been able to find good work since and he almost lost his house and my husband said he would help him. This brings me to two weeks ago I got a call from an unknown number and it’s her and she’s happy to hear from me and find me and she’s acting like we had a good relationship. Then it comes out, her husband made some bad business deals and they’re going under. She’s been staying with “our dad” (Mind you she’s always called me a bastard and I “took her dad from her” so it’s funny that he’s now “our dad”) and she Just needs some help to get on her feet.

I told her “when the scar under my eye goes away, I’ll give you all the money you want” and she tries to apologize and I hung up. I really don’t know the woman she is now. It may be petty but she made my life a living hell and I had no clue why until I was almost an adult. She took her anger out on me. I understand why she was upset but did she have to be so cruel? I would have preferred if she only ignored me. My brother calls me and tells me I have a niece and nephew and he understands if I don’t want to help her but I should think about them and if I don’t want to help out that’s still okay. But like… I don’t know them either? All of these people are essentially strangers to me, I didn’t even know I had a niece and nephew from her. I only know about my nephew from my brother.

I’m Just really conflicted… would I be wrong not helping? If I did it would be out of my money, my husband and brother are best friends pretty much which is why he had no problem helping him but he says he doesn’t know my sister or care for her knowing what she put me through and since it’s coming out of my money… I really don’t want to.
Eat poo poo, sis. Excellent mic drop response by OP there.

Math fans might note that the sister was 20 when she pushed an 11 year old off a rock wall, almost costing OP her eye.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Check out this winner of a BFF.

How do I 24M get my former best friend 25M to stop telling people I slept with his fiancé 25F?

quote:

My best friend Daniel and I were close. He moved away for a bit for school and came back in the area. When he moved he started dating this girl Nina and they been together well until recently.

This is where things started getting out of control. They end up moving here and getting a townhouse here. I haven’t been as successful as my friend but I work. My parents had given me an ultimatum join the military and I can stay there until I leave. They told me to talk to Dan about the military (Daniel was an intelligence analyst in the Army, he left active duty and commissioned in the reserve Cyber officer and works for the federal government. Not only that my dad and mom were both military so they kiss his rear end. There is unfortunately this classist sense in the DMV area where I’m from that if you not military, a contractor, or work for the feds you a piece of poo poo.

Daniel thinks I should go to the military as well but he agreed to let me stay with him for a maximum of six months. I had two months to find a job and then 4 months to save and find an apartment per our agreement. Now I’m going to say this I want to go back to school to finish my degree but no one wants to invest in me. When I went to college I wasn’t focus but I’m older and wiser now. I asked Daniel if I could go to school instead of working and he said no…He said I can try working and taking a class or two but I can’t stay more than 6 months. I was feeling annoyed with him at this point but I respect it his choice.

I was staying there his fiancé works remote. This had Nina and I spending a lot of time together on some cool poo poo 🤷🏽‍♂️ nothing crazy but I noticed it started getting more flirty. I’m going to say Nina is not the type of girl he normally gets, she is a baddie. So when I met her the first time I was shocked he pulled her. The thing was Nina and I was just vibing better and this started turning sexual. One day he found out because we were risky and tried to get one in later than usual close to before he gets home and there was an altercation and cops were called. Nothing happened though.

Anyway this leads me to the advice I need. He has since called off the wedding and moved out. I got a job and it’s just Nina in I because they are going to court over the house. They will probably end up selling it and split it 50 50 is what Nina told me. He has started telling all our mutual friends our business, our family , etc. He has let people know that they can’t be friends with both of us. They have to pick and it’s either him or me. I get him not speaking to me but he’s going out of his way to ruin my other friendships and familial relationships. Even my parents and siblings have been dry with me. I have a couple mutual friends who sided with me and he blocked them….I’m blocked but I can reach him through my parents and was wondering about ideas that can come up with a mature resolution for everyone

Edit: I’m remorseful and want to seek some forgiveness from my friend
His friend did him a solid by letting him stay with him, OP immediately changes the terms of the agreement and starts loving his friend's fiancee, friend finds out and burns OP and their friendship to the ground, OP is whining about how mean his friend is being to him. Classic.

I always love the stories where the person who is 100% in the wrong makes a play to claim the high road. I abused his hospitality and hosed his fiancee, and now he's not talking to me?!? Hmmph, how very immature! Why can't we handle this like adults.

OP is in the comments, doing himself no favors.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

Midnight Voyager posted:

Part of the 1% of turbo rich, but they don't own Wal-mart, so it's not THAT rich!
Literally every rich person has an explanation about they're not really rich, and refers to themselves as "middle class"

Hughlander posted:

AITA for tricking my sister into giving her kid a stupid name
Reminds me of one of my favorite stories, the woman who got one over on her one-upping copycat sister by hinting that she was going to buy an incredibly ugly $7000 Balenciega bag.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Yeah, all but a tiny handful of rich people know people who are 10x or 100x richer than they are, and they use that comparison to argue to themselves that they're not really rich. Why, my yacht doesn't even have a helipad! I only have one LearJet, and it's the lowest trim level!

My favorite example of this was from the 2020 campaign, when Howard Schultz (the billionaire head of Starbucks) briefly contended for the Democratic nomination and tried to soften his Scrooge McDuck image by saying that when growing up his family owned "a small factory". No fancy Willow Runs for the salt-of-the-earth Schultzes! Just a small factory, barely breaking even sometimes, why some months his mother would have to let out rooms or take in laundry.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Another day, another "test" that backfires.

AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend because she tried to “teach me a lesson”?

quote:

My (26M) ex girlfriend (25F) went out with some friends last weekend. I usually wait up and pick her up or at least make sure she got to her apartment safe before I go to bed but I had a flu and kept falling in and out of sleep that night.

When I woke up randomly at like 4am, I saw 3 missed calls from her. I called her back and she wasn’t answering. I call her friends and the calls weren’t going through. I started panicking and thinking the worst. I go to her apartment and she isn’t there. I go to the bar she said she would be at but it was closed by the time I got there. It was the worst couple of hours ever. Im quite an anxious person so those few hours were terrible.

At around 1pm that day after I was running around town like a mad man looking for her since 4am, she calls me. She says she slept over at her friends house. She shares the location with me and I go over. She looked like she was in a good mood and just smiling at me. I asked her what the hell happened and why she wasn’t answering my calls, and why she was here. She said she wanted to teach me a lesson about not answering her calls in the middle of the night when she could’ve been in danger, and wanted to scare me a bit so she didn’t answer my calls and asked her friends to block my number.

I felt like a cartoon with steam coming out of its ears. I’ve never felt anger like that in my life. I guess I just didn’t think an adult could be that childish. I didn’t even hesitate in breaking up with her immediately and going home. She was blowing up my phone asking if I was serious and if this is all it took for me to end our otherwise perfect relationship. She’s right about it being nearly perfect but the fact that she was willing to put me through distress to teach me a lesson shows that she isn’t the kind of person I want to be with.

My brothers are saying what she did wasn’t cool but I’m overreacting by breaking up with her. AITAH?
OP, when you felt like a cartoon with steam coming out of your ears? That was the Spirit Of Pete manifesting in you.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

Desert Bus posted:

There is a 100% legit medical discipline that includes some of the chrio quackery and if you think you need a chiro you should just go see a DO:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_of_Osteopathic_Medicine
Be sure to ask for Dr. Ronnie James (D.O.).

:regd10:

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
The story is long and not very funny (abuse, etc.) but I did want post the title for all of use to admire:

AITA FOR LAUGHING AT MY DEPRESSED EX AND TELLING HIM TO GO gently caress HIMSELF?

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Title only (but oh what a title):

AITA for requesting my roommate not host a Cars (The Pixar Movie) themed orgy?

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Here is a story about someone who will leave for college in a year or two and never look back.

AITA for calling my(16m) sister(17f) a bully for not letting a my girlfriend(17f) join her math club

quote:

My sister Christie is your average math nerd, she really smart at it has won awards at compétions.

With that though comes your bully and my girlfriend Emily was Christie bully back in middle school it wasn’t harsh and she want the main bully but Christie has hated her since.

I grew a crush on Emily when I saw her at our highschool(I didn’t know how she looked like really before ) and we started dating, when I brought her home to meet my parents Christie yelled at her to get out of her house which I stood up for Emily and told her she was my girlfriend-

ensue Christie having a breakdown she left to her room and didn’t come out even when our parents asked only came out to get the cat, Emily tried apologizing and she was remorseful for the past but Christie ignored her and said I was dead to her.

My parents though she would get over it since she’d always been rational one but she didn’t she became very cold and the more my parents talked and spent time with Emily the more and more she removed herself.

i did the same too Emily is great and has changed just because Christie can’t accept it dosent mean we’re over.

Now onto the problem our highschool allows kids to have their own club so as long as it’s atleast 5 members and is within school rules.

Christie and her friends made one a math club for girls when she started highschool, and from the looks of it it’s really fun, they have win competitions, and most of them are really involved in the school activités

Emily wanted to join and she needed to atleast get Christie word for the other members to accept, when she did ask Christie scoffed and made a comment “I don’t think your iq level would even fit the club.” Emily got sad but asked again saying this would good for her college resume and Christie ignored her.

Emily came back to me crying and I got pissed and confronted Christie calling her a bully for doing this, she laughed and said “Emily taught me how.” And went to her room.

I told my friends and one,Aiden told me how stupid I was begin and how could I expect Christie to help Emily. but he’s always had a crush on Christie so I don’t know if I should take his word for it. AITA?
"My parents though she would get over it since she’d always been rational one" - you're smart, therefore it's OK to trample all over your feelings. Parents might be worse than OP.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Borat voice: MY (bisexual) WIFE!

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Here's a cute one for the end of the week

AITAH for the way I responded to my daughter asking if I had a crush?

quote:

Okay so I am a single mom with a 14 year old daughter. We were at the mall last night and I ran into a friend I knew when I was younger (and may or may not have had a brief thing with) and he and I talked for a few minutes and walked away.

My daughter was smiling and asked if I had a crush on him and I said “what do you mean?” and she giggled and said “I saw you looking at his butt.” I guess I got embarrassed and became defensive and I told her not to speak to me like that and it isn’t appropriate for her to be saying things like that. I could see her expression kinda drop and she just looked down and went “sorry…”

AITAH for reacting this way? I kinda feel bad about it but I don’t know if it was wrong of me to respond that way.

quote:

I made a post earlier today about something that happened with my 14 year old daughter yesterday that has been on my mind.

I saw the comments which confirmed what I was thinkin that I was TAH so I got home and my daughter was home and I went up to her and asked if I could have a few minutes of her time, and I told her I was sorry I was so aggressive last night and I got embarrassed and didn’t respond well and hoped she could forgive me. She told me she forgave me and accepted my hug.

Then I told her “but for what it’s worth…I may or may not for a tenth of a second have accidentally glanced in the general direction his butt was in.” and then suddenly her face changed expression and she said “I KNEW IT!!” and excitedly started asking me if we had dated in the past and if I would try to form another connection with him soon.

Honestly, I was SO worried I had messed up to the point where I’d never get that back but I was given a second chance by whatever higher power there is and I’m so so happy. Love my daughter so much and I’m glad she knows she can talk to me about that :)
Good recovery, mom.

Artist's rendition of OP's daughter:


Secret final update buried in comments:

quote:

Commenter: Take a chance! Invite him out for coffee or something. At the very least it's a chance to chat with an old friend. At the most, you'll get to see that butt on the regular.

OOP: Sent him a Facebook message this morning. Nervous!!!

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

mystes posted:

That was posted three pages ago but it's a nice one
Gah, I'll take my sixer.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

mystes posted:

Don't be so quick to dismiss the option of him faking his death
I was thinking something more along the lines of seeing if the French Foreign Legion is hiring.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
"Accidental", eh?

AITAH for not allowing my fiancee to uninvite my mom from our wedding after accidental mud throwing?

quote:

My fiancee “Emma” and I recently spend some time at my mom’s vacation house. Emma and my mom don’t have the best relationship. Nothing crazy but a bit stand offish. I’ve asked Emma and she says nothing happened but she feels my mom doesn’t like her.

There has been a lot of rain lately so our usual hiking trails were all flooded. Sometimes my family will do a hike in the mud and just accept everything’s getting ruined. We planned a mud hike for a particularly challenging trail and I asked Emma if she wanted to skip it as I know that isn’t her thing. She said she’d go and be a team player. I tried my best to keep it fun for her but I could tell she was struggling.

Towards the end of the hike my mom threw some mud and it hit Emma. My mom looked mortified and swore that was meant for her husband and not Emma and apologized, but Emma was furious. She yelled at my mom, called her childish, frigid, and said she was uninvited to our wedding for humiliating her.

I was taken aback because it looked like a genuine accident. Emma began yelling that my mom was “punishing” her for not “fitting in” or “being who she wants me to marry” everyone was blind sided and Emma said she didn’t want someone who threw mud at her at our wedding.

I took Emma aside and told her I loved her more than anything but I do believe it was an accident and I won’t allow her to ban my mom from OUR wedding over what looked like an accident. Emma got upset and accused me of not defending her. Now my family (minus my mom) isn’t talking to me and is saying I didn’t do enough to defend my mom

For some more context- my mom's husband was walking in front of her and Emma was on his side. I didn't see it make impact, but immediately saw the result. My mom was embarrassed and ran to hug her husband, calm down, apologize. She swears Emma came up beside him and she didn't see her. He previously had mud on his hands and grabbed my moms face/kissed her, so this was not out of nowhere
I can't believe you are having such a meltdown just because my mother (who does not like you) pelted you with wet, stinking mud!

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
This seems less like a bunch of boisterous extroverts and more like some sort of hazing.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

mom and dad fight a lot posted:

I think people forget just how everything smelled like smoke in the 90's. It wasn't just bars late at night or in alleyways, it was everywhere.
The reason all the color photographs you see from the 1970s all look like they were shot through some kind of sepia filter is because literally every indoor surface in every building was covered by a thin film of sticky yellowish nicotine/tar gunk, it was that pervasive.

Also, every photo from the 1970s has multiple ashtrays visible in it.

When they started to ban smoking in public spaces in the 1980s, some of the greatest resistance came from bar and restaurant owners who predicted it would decimate their businesses. In reality, their businesses flourished because people were more willing to go out to places where they could breathe and also not come home with all their clothes stinking like smoke.

My pet theory is that the emergence of "foodie" culture in America in the 80s/90s and all that entailed (celebrity chefs, wider proliferation of interesting ethnic restaurants, etc.) largely stemmed from the fact that people weren't completely destroying their taste buds as a matter of habit.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

Mordiceius posted:

Hey! There was an update to this!

UPDATE: AITAH for dumping my gf after moving in with her.
She landed a guy who wrote her from-the-heart love poetry, and decided to use that to humiliate him to her friends / get clicks on the 'gram.

Eh, it's fine. Dudes who do that are a dime a dozen, she'll have no problem getting someone like that in the future. She's certainly not going to end up dating a succession of dudes who are too busy playing video games or yelling at the Red Sox on the TV to bother with that mushy stuff.

LMAO, well done lady.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Age-gap creep faces righteous mom anger.

AITAH for exposing my bestfriend's boyfriend to his own mom because he's a chronic cheater? And now his family hates him

quote:

I (18F) have been bestfriends with this girl named Hailey (19F) ever since middle school. we've been so close and i always want the best for her, well recently she's been dating this guy i won't say his name but he's 26M and a chronic cheater. He's cheated on her with 4 different girls yet she still doesn't break up with him. i'm constantly telling her to cut ties and end it with this psycho but she always gives him another chance. Well last night was the last straw...

I got a snapchat from her boyfriend asking me "hey you up?" at like 1am. i replied back and said "yeah why?" then i poo poo you not this guy asked if he could come over to my apartment. I called him on snap to make sure i was reading this situation right, he picked up and told me he was feeling lonely and wanted to hang out with someone. I told him "Are you stupid? Call your girlfriend hailey" then he said the most outlandish poo poo, word-for-word he said "nahh i want something new tonight and i can tell with your lips you'd give some nice head".... i paused analyzing what the hell he just said to me. Keep in mind he knows im bestfriends with hailey and also knows i don't like him because of his past. At this point i didn't have any words to say other than call him an rear end in a top hat and hang up the phone. Here's where i may have went too far.

Out of anger i found his mom on facebook and stirred up a huge message exposing everything he's done to ruin hailey's mental health, I also pointed out the fact that he's been caught hitting on 17 year olds. I won't recite the whole message because it would take like 10 mins to read, but i thought of everything i could say about this guy to ruin his relationship with his mom. I genuinely hate him and want to see him suffer.

The next day when i woke up i saw a bunch of missed calls from him and hailey, before i called them back i checked facebook and saw that his mom accepted my chat request but never responded. So she clearly read it. i called hailey first and she told me that he called her crying his eyes out. Then he called me while i was on the phone with hailey so i told her i'd answer and call her back to see what he says.

When i picked up he was still crying and couldn't stop apologizing to me saying he felt so bad for what he did, i had no remorse and really didn't care how upset he was. He then asked me to send another message to his mom and say the 17yr old thing was a lie (which is wasn't) because that caused her to revoke the money she was paying him for school. I'll be honest i started laughing when he said this because it's exactly what he deserves. I said "You should have thought this through before asking your girlfriend's bestfriend to give you head" his excuse was "you have nice lips and it was a joke! can you relax?", at this point i wasn't believing a word he said and figured it was all to cover his sorry rear end. I don't feel bad at all and finally Hailey ended things with him, but she did say I might have taken it too far and ruined his life.
"I genuinely hate him and want him to suffer" - OP was not playing around (and good for her).

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Snippet from an update to a fairly standard story that wasn't posted here (you can get the gist of it from the title), with one extremely funny detail worth highlighting.

Update: AITAH for breaking off my marriage when my ex made out with another woman

quote:

I contacted my ex regarding the same and he refuted the claims saying she was the one who wanted to hook up with him but he stopped it as he couldn't do that to me. I met him in person to discuss this as I cannot just believe anyone blindly right now. He told me how sorry he is and how bad he feels and would do anything to have me back and gain my forgiveness. We had a conversation for a while and then I asked him if I could check his phone and texts around the same timeline and he refused. I know it was a big shot coz it was long ago and if there were any texts they would have been deleted but he straight up refused for letting me check his phone and said that would be an invasion of his privacy and he is not comfortable with that. In our relationship we never checked each others phones but I wanted to this one time coz he had betrayed my trust. He didn't budge and said I am being unreasonable by trusting a stranger's words rather than him.
Ex: I'd do anything, literally anything to have you back in my life
OP: Can I see your phone?
Ex: No.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X_ViIPA-Gc

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
Title only, but LOL

AITA for blowing up at my husband because he counted his work on our DND game as one of his chores?

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
RIP to a true hater

AITAH for not telling my son that his brother passed? (self.AITAH)

quote:

Info:My youngest slept with his brothers wife. After my oldest found out he and his wife got a divorce and my youngest married her a year later.

My (56M) oldest son (33M) had cancer and passed away three weeks ago. Over the months leading up to his death, my youngest son (30M) and his wife had been trying to reconcile with my oldest, but he always made it known that he wanted nothing to do with them. He specifically told me that they were unforgiven, and he wouldn't forgive them just to ease their guilt. When I kept bringing up the idea of reconciling, he used to get mad at me, so I stopped trying. I just kept telling my youngest and his wife that they had to accept that he wanted nothing to do with them and they needed to move on.

When my oldest passed, I did not tell my youngest or his wife to honor his wishes. He always made it clear that they didn't deserve to mourn him in life and didn't deserve to mourn him in death either. About a week ago, my youngest saw his brother's obituary and called me, screaming for not telling him that his brother had passed. He told me that I denied him the opportunity to make things right and that I should've told him his brother passed.

I told him that it would be disrespectful for him to even come in the first place, as his brother wouldn't have wanted him there, and that he and his wife denied themselves from attending. He hung up on me and blocked my number. My wife told me that she feels guilty for not telling him and that we should've given him the opportunity to say goodbye to his brother.

I told her that I would just find it disrespectful of us to do so, as he made it clear that he didn't want them to come. She told me that she understands but she's upset that our youngest is mad at us and that we should just try to put everything behind us to heal. I told her that what our youngest did was unforgivable, and I was not going to allow him to disrespect his brother in life and in death as well.

My wife has been crying constantly because our son blocked us and she started blaming me as well. I'm hurt, but I don't regret what I did or even see what I did wrong. I feel like my youngest should just take accountability of his actions instead of blaming everyone else.
33 years old, dying of cancer, and still refusing to grant absolution to your piece-of-poo poo brother. Hell yeah.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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AITA for missing my son's birth to see the eclipse?

quote:

My (36M) wife (30F) gave birth to our beautiful son yesterday afternoon. However, things have been icy between us ever since my decision to not give up my plan to view the total solar eclipse to drive to a hospital while my wife was giving labor. For context, I live two hours away from the point of totality, and have been planning this trip for weeks. I offered my wife to come with me, but she declined as she was not feeling well and did not really care to see the eclipse. When I was about an hour away, my wife called me and told me that she believed she was going into labor. I was doubtful, since she was only 34 weeks, and asked her if she was sure it wasn't just braxton hicks contractions. She really wanted me to turn around in case the baby was coming but I told her I couldn't because I was almost there, and I wasn't going to give up this experience when I wasn't even sure the baby would be born today.

As I was a half hour away from arriving to the site, my wife was blowing up my phone and confirmed she was in labor and going to the hospital. I was getting pretty stressed out, and didn't *want* to miss the baby's birth necessarily, but I wasn't about to turn back once I already almost arrived and I still didn't want to miss out on this experience. My wife begged me to drive back after I was already there, but I refused to back down. We both said some things we regret. I put my phone on silent after that, because the eclipse was about to start and I wanted to enjoy it. When I picked up my phone again on the way home, I saw furious texts from my wife and MIL telling me I missed my son's birth for 'the stupid loving sun'. As soon as I was back in town I came to see my son, but they wouldn't allow me in the hospital room.

Today, my wife and her family are still not speaking to me or allowing me to see my son. I think this is outrageous and I don't see why I should be demonized for choosing a once in a lifetime event over something that could happen again if we have more children. I will still end up bonding with my son and I don't see why it is necessary for me to witness him being born for that to be true. My wife should know that I support her even if I'm not physically there with her. It wasn't like she was alone, my MIL and SIL were both in the delivery room with her. I think that as a father it is my right to see my son and she shouldn't withhold that from me over one disagreement. AITA?
From r/AmITheEx, naturally.

So many bangers in that story. "My wife should know that I support her even if I'm not physically there with her"

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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artsy fartsy posted:

Lol, this'll learn her

AITA for faking a serious eye injury, making my mom faint, and ruining my birthday party.
That owns so hard.

Eat poo poo, mom.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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AITA for not allowing my cousin to take home food?

quote:

We had a large 95 birthday for my grandmother. My mom and I chipped in with another uncle and one of his kids to have if catered to. It was about $700 so we around$175 each.

One of my cousin’s Shannon who always pulls this, brought to go containers for her husband and his two kids. We stopped her from taking anything and told her she didn't help buy the food she can't take any home. She offered me $10 because that’s all she had and my other cousin said if she wanted to split the cost with those who paid it is $87.50. Then she could take stuff home.

She complained that she got grandma a gift that was clearly something from the dollar tree and was crying about how she told her hubby she would bring him back something. We told her she couldn’t because if there are leftovers they go to grannie first and those who paid.

Shannon left mad and a couple of family members said that was cheap of us but I pointed put that grannie is 95 and she could eat the leftovers for a few days and relax because the food was her birthday present not Shannons.

In the end I only took home enough salad for lunch for the next day because most of the food was eaten and a few things were put back for grannie to enjoy for dinner the next day.
Bringing your own to-go containers to scarf up all the leftovers of a spread that you didn't contribute a nickle to is some next-level leeching.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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Lottery of Babylon posted:

Update on the ticket story
He was under the weather and stayed in for one evening and in that single evening she went out and found a brand new guy, LOL.

She moves fast, I'll give her that.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

Kurieg posted:

AITA for telling my dad I judge his actions more harshly now that I'm a widowered parent too?

Hi son I heard your wife died do you understand how correct I was now?
Now, son, you finally understand the truth: that getting your dick wet is much, much more important than raising children.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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AITA for calling off my wedding and telling my fiancé to move back home with mommy?

quote:

I'm not going to try and swing this in my favor here by leaving out details or sugar coating anything. I was MEAN about it. He was crying. I've been with my fiancé for 7 years and we have been engaged for 3 years. We have gone ahead and tried to do a "save the date" 4 times now and every single time, his mom convinces him to postpone. It's always a "well don't you think you have bigger things to worry about?" Whether it be our living situation (we are renting and she thinks we should buy first because we "aren't stable"), or our money situation (this was her excuse after we loaned HER $8k so she didn't lose her house but we have plenty of money, as my husbands an RN and I'm a lawyer). It's just always something. We planned for a family gathering in my mom's backyard. She has 3 acres and a beautiful pond and it's just perfect. And we are doing a pot luck. So, very low cost wedding. Plus, everyone we know lives within an hour of the location so only giving a month or two notice is perfectly acceptable in our case. With all this said, his mom has zero reason to try and sway us against it. But her newest argument is that we "need" to wait until our daughter is "at least 3" so she can be our flower girl (she's 7 months old).

Well, in December my husband and I talked and we decided we wanted to get married in August. I told him "don't let your mom dictate it" and he said he wouldn't and that he was tired of listening to her. Fair enough. But last weekend my mother and his mother both came for dinner and I was talking to my mom about what dress I wanted her to wear as the Matron of Honour. My husband's mom asked when we planned to tell her we had decided on a date and my husband said "when we told everyone else". She just said "oh" and got quiet and took leave maybe 20 minutes later. He had already made plans to go over to her house after dinner to help her with her cable box so he left shortly after that to head over to her place while I drank some wine with my mom.

When he got back he was super quiet but said he was just tired and went to bed. But last night he said, at random, "my mom kind of has a point.. maybe we should wait until we buy a house so our living situation is a bit more stable. She's not wrong in saying that it should be something we are worried about." I just went silent and didn't comment, because I was pissed off. But he kept making comments, like "it'll only be a couple of years, 5 at most". I just took my ring off and handed it to him and said I was no longer interested. He immediately started protesting and trying to put the ring back on my finger and I wouldn't let him. I said I was no longer interested in marrying him and maybe he should move back home with mommy because I know for a fact that that woman will make up another excuse the second we buy a house and I'm really just so turned off at the thought of marrying him at this point because I have zero business being with a man who has no back bone and would put our lives on hold in favor of a woman who still wants to scrub his back in the shower (as I said, I was mean about it. But to clear it up now - no, she has not said she wants to scrub his back in the shower BUT she often talks about how she "had to" help him shower for months when he was 16 because he broke his leg and as the story goes, he told her he didn't want help and she forced it because shes loving weird - and it's even weirder that she still talks about it like it was a fond memory to see her 16yo naked). He's crying at this point and I'm stupid calm, maybe because I'm over it, and told him I wanted him to leave - or I could leave. But those were the only options. He ended up leaving, sobbing the entire time. I do feel bad. I feel gutted. He means everything to me. But I can't do this anymore. AITA? His mom has been blowing up my phone with texts, trying to plead her case and I just texted back and said "no, it's fine, you won. Now you can have your baby boy back full time." And blocked her number. My friends think I'm wildly overreacting.

ETA: sorry for confusion, I call him "my husband" by habit and have since before we got engaged.
I'm glad OP has finally grown a spine, shame she didn't do that before having a child with this lump of a mama's boy.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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AITA for telling my son/DIL that it’s not my fault their wedding was upstaged by my 50th birthday party.

quote:

In my social circle your 50th birthday is a huge deal. I haven’t celebrated my birthday for a while. My last real birthday party was sweet sixteen. Overall I have been saving for this party for years and all the family knows.

My son and now DIL told me about a year ago that they were going to get married about a week after my birthday. I told them that it will happen after my 50th and he has been to these parties before and they are a big deal. He literally got blasted at his aunts 50th before. I told him I am also not going to tone it down and he said he didn’t care.

My party has over 100 guest and had a lot of bells and whistles. My sons wedding was this weekend and both events got compared. It was basically what people were talking about .

My son and DIL were cold to me during the wedding. I got a call from my son and it basically boiled down to I need to apologize for outshining their wedding. That people were calling his event cheap and overall seemed to prefer my event. I told him I am not apologizing, that I warned him months ago and he said he was fine with the party. That it is not my fault that it was upstaged by my party. They chose the date knowing how those parties are.

This started an argument and they both told me I was a huge jerk.
We scheduled an event at around the same time as another, pre-scheduled event, and people kept comparing them!

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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Trigger warning: heartwarming

My neighbor left her house to my dad in her will

quote:

I (19m) got news the my elderly neighbor passed away this last week. She was 94 and the most compassionate person I have ever met. She’s always been an important person in my family’s life.

For some backstory my parents had me when my dad was 16 and my mom was 18. She decided she didn’t want to have a child to take care of because she had so many goals she didn’t think she could achieve while raising and child. My dad begged her to keep me and he would take all the responsibility and raise me by himself. He managed to convince her and he dropped out of highschool, got his GED and went to work on the pipeline to earn some money to save up so he could afford to take care of me. My maternal grandparents didn’t want anything to do with me either so it was just me, my dad and his parents. At age 20 my dad moved out to an okay house he found for somewhat cheap. This is when we met our neighbor I’ll call Betty.

Betty made sure to welcome us with open arms and told us if we ever needed anything at all to knock on her door. My grandmother had a health scare one night and my dad couldn’t find anyone to watch me so he knocked on Betty’s door. She agreed to watch me and from that day on she became my unofficial granny as she would say. She would frequently have dinner with us, as I got older we helped look after her house and do all of her yard work! Everyone in my family just fell in love with the beautiful person that Betty was. I don’t want to drag this story out any longer but she was always there for us and vice versa.

Last night there was a knock on the door, it was a lawyer explaining that Betty left us pretty much everything. She had said that when she was alone we made her feel like family and she could never repay my father for all the kindness and compassion he had so this was her way to “make up for that” that brought my father to tears. He put a picture of us and Betty up that we got. I’m so proud of the person my dad is and that he changed her life just as much as she changed ours.

Rip Granny Betty we love you!
:unsmith:

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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Trash takes itself out

AITA for choosing a concert over my best friend's wedding?

quote:

My (26f) best friend (26f) Jessy is getting married on July 13th in Albania. We both live in Albania.

The issue is that on July 13th my fiancé and I have booked tickets for the Eras tour in Milan almost 1 year in advance or else they'd sell out. We also had to book hotels, flights etc because we'll stay there for 4 days.

Jessy knew that I've booked tickets on that date. She hadn't booked her wedding yet. She got engaged in November and booked her wedding date last month. She had told everyone she'd get married during summer but she never said the exact date up to this point when many people kept asking her so they can know their plans. I booked the tickets this past summer when the tour dates were announced.

When she told me the date I told her she can't be serious. She was like why? I reminded her I have the concert and the trip on those dates. And she told me ok? Then cancel it obviously? I told her sorry I can't. I can't cancel the hotel, plane tickets and concert tickets. I'll have to pay a high fee to cancel all that and I don't think I can even cancel the concert tickets. I reminded her it's something I've planned a year in advance and she knew. And she straight up told me that yes she knew but she didn't care because as a friend she'd expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding. I told her I'm not cancelling my plans for something you knew a year in advance I'd do.

She accused me of being ta basically for putting a trip and a concert over her wedding. She won't speak to me now unless I send her proof that I'm cancelling everything to attend her wedding.
Tell her you'll try to make her next wedding, OP.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

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Paper Tiger posted:

Another classic: AITA for drinking whiskey in the office at 10:30 in the morning?

"CTO caught me sippin'"
So many great details in that story. This was my favorite:

quote:

I work with some high-end clients, and I'll always offer them a glass when we have important meetings. Unfortunatley, none of them have ever accepted.
His whole excuse for keeping expensive bottles of whiskey in his office is to impress fancy clients, and he won't the fact that precisely zero of his clients have taken him up on his offer deter him from thinking that he is totally killing it with his cool Don Draper cosplay.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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If we are doing classics, I want to add this one, which has probably my favorite three word phrase across the entirety of all the r/r and r/aita and etc. stories I've read

AITA For Telling My Cousin They Will Have to Pay Rent?

quote:

Backstory: I (31F) purchased my 3-Family home from our grandparents 4 yrs ago well below market value. My Grandparents wanted to retire to Florida and wanted to keep their house in the family. The house was worth a lot more then I could afford alone. So I talked to my cousins and said, “Hey if we purchase it, we can fix it up and rent it out. We could then split the rent 7 ways for residual income.” They all turned me down and said they didn’t want the old, lovely house. I spoke with my grandparents and expressed interest. They offered to sell it to me for way less than market value and I could use the remaining money to renovate. I decided to rent the top two apartments for a reasonable price and live in the smallest unit.

My little brother and his friends live on my first floor. They pay less than market rent. Two months ago my top floor tenant let me know she wouldn’t be renewing her lease in October since her fiancé got a job offer in another state and they are expecting.

Issue: One of the cousins I had gone to found out and wants to move out of her small 2 bedroom apt and into the 4 bedroom, so her, her husband and son have more space. Both their jobs will remain from home and they want offices. I said sure and offered her $250 below market value. She got irritated and started ranting that I shouldn’t ask her to pay anything because this is a family home. I said myself and little brother pays to live here. She said not her problem, that I owed it to her since I stole the house. She then threatened to take me to court and rally up the other cousins and say that I got the house through fraud and our grandparents weren’t in the right mind. She said the only way she wouldn’t is if I let her live there rent free until they want to move or I pay them her share of the house. I laughed and told her she could now either pay the market value, stay in her tiny rear end overpriced apartment or pay market rate somewhere else. She then said that I was a money hungry Bitch. So I told her stay cramped bitch and hung up.

She has now told the whole family and is trying to get all cousins involved to sue me for their “Fair Share” of the house’s worth. The family is split with some saying she can kick rocks and others saying I shouldn’t be charging family rent as I got the house for extremely cheap. Even my friends are divided because on paper it looks like I did take advantage but I am not sure. Honestly I could afford for everyone to live there rent free and they only pay utilities but I don’t want to.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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One Weird Trick for scoring a free house for yourself. Sons in law hate it!

AITA for telling my wife that it's not ok for her and her family to decide unilaterally that we were moving to the city where they live without telling me until her family was under contract on a house for us?

quote:

A couple of week ago my wife told me that her grandparents just went under contract on a brand new house under construction in their neighborhood in the city they live in a couple of hours away and that we would be moving there when it was completed. To make things worse, her grandparents called me a couple of days ago saying they were doing this as a favor to us and the house would be in their name, but they wanted me to contribute a significant amount of money towards the purchase price of the house otherwise they would lose the earnest money if they didn't close on it it. I told her that it was not ok for her and her family to unilaterally make the decisions that we were moving and to go under contract on a house without telling me until after the fact. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

...

For clarification, they want me to contribute approximately 40% of the purchase price while them and another member of my wife's family contribute the rest.
"Put up 40% of the value of this house, and get no equity or ownership" - gosh what a great favor, OP should be more thankful.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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A Moose posted:

I remember we saw another story about that kind of family. A guy basically just said that his parents would always choose each other over him. They had a kid because they had to but they didn't like him very much and basically just tried to live like they did before they had a kid. The believed they had more of a duty to each other than they did to their kid. They didn't really dislike him enough to abuse him, just do the bare minimum of parenting, and then were surprised when he didn't like them as an adult.
I posted two stories like that in the previous thread.

FMguru posted:

It sucks when your kids don't get it.

FMguru posted:

Did we mess up with our son? He blew up at us during dinner + UPDATE

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FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
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trickybiscuits posted:

What I remember most about the company plantation party is a woman coming down the stairs in "period" dress, her face falling as she saw the OP, and then the most Karen-y picture ever of her pointing at him and clearly complaining to someone. Mostly because that dress was the ugliest dress you have every imagined. It looks awful and she's so happy about it.
It's so great. She thinks she's making this grand entrance like Vivian Leigh descending the stairs at Tara in Gone With The Wind, and then she spots him standing there in his field-slave outfit and loses her mind.


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