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Round these parts calling someone a roaster means they are a loving idiot.
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Apr 19, 2024 19:11
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It's me. I'm the guy that takes the his coffee cup with him into the bathroom and then sits that same cup on the break room counter top between the doughnut boxes
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Apr 19, 2024 19:13
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So let me ask you this: is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? Huh? What happened to coffee? Did I miss a loving meeting with the coffee? Huh? You can get every other flavor except coffee-flavored coffee. They got mochaccino, they got chocaccino, frapaccino, capuccino, rapaccino, alpaccino, WHAT THE gently caress?! https://www.what-the-gently caress.com!
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Apr 19, 2024 19:27
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I bring a baggie of fresh ground locally roasted coffee and a reusable k cup. I spoon out the individual portions. Yes it's all carefully weighed.numberoneposter posted:So let me ask you this: is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? Huh? What happened to coffee? Did I miss a loving meeting with the coffee? Huh? You can get every other flavor except coffee-flavored coffee. They got mochaccino, they got chocaccino, frapaccino, capuccino, rapaccino, alpaccino, WHAT THE gently caress?! https://www.what-the-gently caress.com! Americans are brainwashed to think ultra dark roast coffee is refined or desirable(when really it's just a shelf stable product that doesn't start tasting old on corporate timelines and weeks on the shelf) Starbucks even shifts the whole roast chart use in industry to avoid having to stock light roasts, because light roasts taste stale after only about a week. So they heavily market dark roasts, which objectively taste terrible (because they taste of burnt materials and cooked oils). So to make it drinkable they drown it in fat, sugar and artificial flavoring. People love that, and having a 'cup of coffee' is more socially acceptable than two chocolate bars for breakfast. So now everywhere is getting in on the sales offering, and it's displacing the original cheap dose of caffeine.
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Apr 19, 2024 19:38
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Barrel Cactaur posted:Americans are brainwashed to think ultra dark roast coffee is refined or desirable(when really it's just a shelf stable product that doesn't start tasting old on corporate timelines and weeks on the shelf) Starbucks even shifts the whole roast chart use in industry to avoid having to stock light roasts, because light roasts taste stale after only about a week.
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Apr 19, 2024 19:41
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Barrel Cactaur posted:Americans are brainwashed to think ultra dark roast coffee is refined or desirable(when really it's just a shelf stable product that doesn't start tasting old on corporate timelines and weeks on the shelf) Starbucks even shifts the whole roast chart use in industry to avoid having to stock light roasts, because light roasts taste stale after only about a week. Brewing coffee in a reusable k-cup aside  , yup
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Apr 19, 2024 19:45
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Smugworth posted:Brewing coffee in a reusable k-cup aside I only do it at work. At home I usually just make tea.
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Apr 19, 2024 19:46
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Barrel Cactaur posted:I only do it at work. At home I usually just make tea. I bring my coffee to work op
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Apr 19, 2024 19:49
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I walked into a Starbucks about a year ago, little kid behind the counter. I go, "Yeah, give me a regular." "A regular what?" "Coffee." "What flavor?" "Coffee-flavored coffee." I'll stick that menu right up your rear end, kid! Menu... coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup, that's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup, that's it!
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Apr 19, 2024 19:51
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numberoneposter posted:I walked into a Starbucks about a year ago, little kid behind the counter. I go, "Yeah, give me a regular." "A regular what?" "Coffee." "What flavor?" "Coffee-flavored coffee." I'll stick that menu right up your rear end, kid! Menu... coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup, that's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup, that's it! While you were correct in giving that Starbucks employee a verbal thrashing, I wouldn't say you don't need a coffee menu. Coffee is grown in a variety of regions which will have both subtle and not-so-subtle effects on the natural terroir of the bean
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Apr 19, 2024 19:59
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I had a co-worker that had a magical coffee cup. An hour after pouring it and drinking half, it would still be warm like just out of the pot. He told me it it was the same ceramics used to make the heat shielding on space shuttles, and even without a lid it just completely retained the heat for a couple of hours. It was some serious voodoo. Apparently he paid around $100 for this cup.
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Apr 19, 2024 20:19
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I make a cold brew, then I heat up the cold brew so it's hot, then I add ice so it's cold again
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Apr 19, 2024 20:31
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Oh you’ve never had or heard of a Cortado? Isn’t that adorable my little country mouse. I forget not everyone lives in the big city like me. 
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Apr 19, 2024 20:42
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numberoneposter posted:So let me ask you this: is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? Huh? What happened to coffee? Did I miss a loving meeting with the coffee? Huh? You can get every other flavor except coffee-flavored coffee. They got mochaccino, they got chocaccino, frapaccino, capuccino, rapaccino, alpaccino, WHAT THE gently caress?! https://www.what-the-gently caress.com! Again with the rape of the culture https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLyn_feOptg
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Apr 19, 2024 20:46
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It's a shame you spend so much money on beans but still brew with... tap water
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Apr 19, 2024 22:11
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You what? Drink it? Oh honey no. It goes right in my rear end in a top hat.
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Apr 19, 2024 22:37
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:You what? Drink it? Oh honey no. It goes right in my rear end in a top hat. I prefer to anally imbibe my coffee, lest its flavor be distorted by my saliva…
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Apr 19, 2024 23:01
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this? essentially battery acid. you wouldnt get it
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Apr 20, 2024 05:25
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBl9aXbljLA
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Apr 20, 2024 05:51
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Chrs posted:At our place before we moved to home working the mugs were just a bunch of random ones that someone had bought from a charity shop. Amongst them was an Incredible Hulk mug that one guy really liked. One day someone took the mug and the guy left a note in the kitchen demanding for it to be returned as it was his favourite mug but at some point during the day the note was changed so that it said “Please return my Incredible Hunk mug.” Sounds like y’all bullied a sad man-child.
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Apr 20, 2024 10:36
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The concept of communal mugs is a gross and disturbing one. I don’t need no rando sipping off my Tervis Tumbler.
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Apr 20, 2024 11:35
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One time the only cafe within walking distance from work was closed. I was in the office kitchenette with this dude on our special events team who was bemoaning how exhausted he was and how he’d have to soldier through the day without any coffee and blah blah blah. I was literally at that moment running the communal coffee pot and pointed out as much. Without a hint of irony: “I can’t drink that. I just wish I hadn’t ruined my palate with all of those artisanal blends.”
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Apr 20, 2024 12:33
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Whats with those expensive heat retaining coffee mugs mentioned in the thread? If you want to drink some coffee, what's the point having it sit there for hours?
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Apr 20, 2024 13:16
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Sekenr posted:Whats with those expensive heat retaining coffee mugs mentioned in the thread? If you want to drink some coffee, what's the point having it sit there for hours? Heh, I guess you've never given your coffee a chance to breathe.
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Apr 20, 2024 13:34
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Sekenr posted:Whats with those expensive heat retaining coffee mugs mentioned in the thread? If you want to drink some coffee, what's the point having it sit there for hours? sorry abouit your pathetic coffee drinking experience
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Apr 20, 2024 16:33
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Sekenr posted:Whats with those expensive heat retaining coffee mugs mentioned in the thread? If you want to drink some coffee, what's the point having it sit there for hours? Yeah, I prefer to keep my coffee in my heat retaining bladder
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Apr 20, 2024 17:46
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I guess you could just not aerate. You could also go gently caress yourself.
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Apr 20, 2024 23:40
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My civets consent, what yours don’t? Yikes.
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Apr 20, 2024 23:42
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I actually don't drink coffee since I've never developed a physical addiction to caffeine.
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Apr 21, 2024 01:21
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The Moon Monster posted:I actually don't drink coffee since I've never developed a physical addiction to caffeine. All, Posters like this can still lead rewarding lives. Do not be ableist.
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Apr 21, 2024 01:33
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The ultimate in slow drip coffee is an IV.
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Apr 21, 2024 03:31
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*spits coffee back into cup* Was this pumpkin even ripe before it was spiced?
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Apr 21, 2024 03:37
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This thread made me stop by the fancy coffee exchange in our market district and pick up a bunch of fancy bullshit today
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Apr 21, 2024 03:54
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I heat my coffee water in a Japanese gooseneck kettle forged with steel smelted in a traditional Tatara furnace, lit only once a generation. The clan that forged my kettle adopted me as an honorary member and gave me a name that translates to “god of coffee and good taste” which I had engraved on my kettle and also tattooed on my coffee pouring arm.
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Apr 21, 2024 04:38
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Wait, you all drinking coffee out of a mug? I drink my coffee out of the skulls of my fallen enemies. I didn't even have to write "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" on it, because now people don't talk to me at all!
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Apr 21, 2024 13:58
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Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my barista
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Apr 21, 2024 22:08
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Lt. Cock posted:This thread made me stop by the fancy coffee exchange in our market district and pick up a bunch of fancy bullshit today Welcome to the good life
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Apr 21, 2024 22:38
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I rescued a civet from a Walmart parking lot. Looks like a calico but don’t be fooled.
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Apr 22, 2024 08:25
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Yeah, I asked for one teaspoon—of sea salt or pink salt. You really thought I meant sugar? *raises eyebrows before walking away* *sips enroute to his desk, planting his empty mug down beside a full mug of salty cold coffee he brewed earlier*
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Apr 22, 2024 12:19
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Do you even get full bloom coffee? Pull up a chair and allow me to demystify and explain the science behind a perfect cup.
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Apr 22, 2024 15:36
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