Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

Participation trophies undermined the value of winning and made America weak. Prove me wrong.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Yeah, we should take down Confederate monuments.

Dameius posted:

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

lyin in my death bed, tubes taking away all my shids fards and cames, holding hands with my beautiful unscratched hardwood floor.

goethe.cx posted:

look at my cool nerd wife! she participates in all the same nerdy hobbies i do. we have to ride elevators separately or otherwise we'd exceed the weight limit

Ambrose Burnside posted:

the scene: i am restrained in a chair with clockwork orange-style eye hooks engaged. a man is arbitrarily nailing poorly-made hairpin legs to the sides of a damp wooden pallet previously used to transport a leaky cargo of bulk feta cheese. "this coffee table build is great Content", he says. i am screaming and screaming

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

The five teams should have been as follows:

A turd
A bowl of Lima beans
A blind person of indeterminate ethnicity
A piece of paper that has "High Cholesterol" written on it in an urgent font
The "iron" player piece from Monopoly

Screaming Idiot posted:

I know furries and juggalos are our allies against oppression but I'm not down with the clown to pound at the pound.

d3lness posted:

Holy lord the burn and following commentary.

https://twitter.com/ChuckECheese/status/1146109529580609538?s=19

Bust Rodd posted:

Imagine getting dunked on by Chuck E. Cheese and trying to go about the rest of your day like normal.

RareAcumen posted:

Memento posted:

Hey, Young Tom Waits pours greens as fast as Young Tom Waits wants.

BIG BOUNCERS BLASTOFF 3 posted:

Tom Waits for no man.

Jerry Cotton posted:

Which island?

Zamboni Rodeo posted:

SniperWoreConverse posted:

I'm pretty sure a dude wrote a travel book 100 years ago and came to the conclusion that the land itself was blighted and evil, but wasn't sure if the people poisoned it or it poisoned them

I specifically remember his depiction of this one kind of brick, and how the soot from the mills stained it to the color of infected bile, and nobody ever cleaned it off, and why would they because the next day it would be back even worse, and the air smells like slag, and the architecture itself reflects a sickness of the soul, a world without an idea of beauty or good, and the windows of the houses peered back like the orbits of the already dead. The text seemed so lurid but apprehensive, he had to leave you could see it.

One time I was driving thru Ohio and there were unending miles of disused rail and telegraph lines like huge crosses -- eerily pagan seeming, miles of memorials for unknown monsters -- and nobody took any of it down after it went obsolete or ever will. Wood that should have rotted away but refuses. Broken caps of ceramic insulators. Train station with every window stabbed out.

And hedge shrines but not wholesome: rain wet teddy bears and dead flowers and crosses that are far smaller and somehow far more brittle and disintegrating and worm eaten, all together at the end of tire marks that go off the road to where the vegetation burned off and still won't grow again.

Ohio is too often like if magical realism was real, it's like if there was a house where the walls are completely filled with insect hives that stop just at the lead paint, but it's a whole state. Not that long ago some kids were playing with their dog in the park and it came back with an unfamiliar ball -- a human skull tinted dark dark brown by years in the soil. Something's working without end right under the surface and human dignity isn't a part of its design.

You can be in Ohio and choose to look away but it's permeated everything. If you had walked a few more paces off the road you could have fallen into the cellar of some long gone homestead that never had a chance to be on a map. I know people who years ago were in the same situation and literally fell into a graveyard with unreadable tombstones, and the graves had sunken into hollows in the land, in Ohio.

It is no surprise to me that before uncle Sam there were all kinds of hosed up myths about skin walkers, or wendingos, or what the gently caress ever. Some places just aren't well. I think it was somewhere in Ohio where a dude had kept abducted women in his basement for years and his wife and kids were fine with it.

Moon Slayer posted:

Moon Slayer posted:

OMFG FURRY posted:

pretty much all of the midwest is proof that evil is not only real, it is winning.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

I didn't actually understand the American Gothic literary movement until I pulled off the road to pee in Ohio and just, felt the state seeth at me. Ohio is actively malicious in a way normally only ascribed to pedophiles in the Catholic heirarchy.

Moon Slayer posted:

FactsAreUseless posted:

This sounds a ton like Lewiston, Idaho. Do not ever go to Lewiston. It is the worst part of Idaho. Of Idaho. Think about that.

Lord of Pie posted:

Idaho's not even a state, it's just a sprawling militia compound with a bunch of taters and mule deer

EorayMel posted:

Can you validate this Funny Forums Quote™?

nankeen posted:

ohio's not sick, it's just angry. all conquered land will in time slough off its conquerors like so much dead and rotting skin

Outrail posted:

Wanna do a proper road trip through Idaho and Ohio now.

I drove through Idaho once on the way to someplace better and it felt like that. Just a desolate stretch of road with a warning sign every now and then. 'Caution: strong winds' 'Caution: snowdrifts' etc. I pulled off the highway to buy something from a service station at some campground and people stared at me like they were all locals, at a holiday park.

FactsAreUseless posted:

The scariest part of Idaho, for anyone dumb enough to travel there, isn't Lewiston, which is an industrial shithole, or the Nazi backwoods, or the Mormon south, or the economically-collapsed tourist towns in the mountains. It's a town called Moscow. Do not go to Moscow. Moscow seems very nice on the outside - arts! liberals! college! - but it is de-facto run by a cult (not its first!), there have been an insane number of mass shootings there (google them!), and the whole place is basically some smiling fake-town-pride Stephen King horror poo poo. Everyone is extremely tense and a surprising number of people just straight-up go missing from the area. Some serious "something lurks beneath the surface" stuff going on there.

It is not a good place and I will not be surprised if there's at least one Netflix documentary about it in 20 years. There's a reason all the serial killers come from the Northwest.

edit: I'm not trying to outdo or piggyback off the much funnier Ohio quote by the way, I just want to express my intense discomfort with Moscow, Idaho.

edit 2: I just remembered the entire Wallace area. So this ruined former mining hellhole filled with pedophiles (not a joke), and then Moscow.

FactsAreUseless posted:

The scariest part of Idaho, for anyone dumb enough to travel there, isn't Lewiston, which is an industrial shithole, or the Nazi backwoods, or the Mormon south, or the economically-collapsed tourist towns in the mountains. It's a town called Moscow. Do not go to Moscow. Moscow seems very nice on the outside - arts! liberals! college! - but it is de-facto run by a cult (not its first!), there have been an insane number of mass shootings there (google them!), and the whole place is basically some smiling fake-town-pride Stephen King horror poo poo. Everyone is extremely tense and a surprising number of people just straight-up go missing from the area. Some serious "something lurks beneath the surface" stuff going on there.

It is not a good place and I will not be surprised if there's at least one Netflix documentary about it in 20 years. There's a reason all the serial killers come from the Northwest.

edit: I'm not trying to outdo or piggyback off the much funnier Ohio quote by the way, I just want to express my intense discomfort with Moscow, Idaho.

edit 2: I just remembered the entire Wallace area. So this ruined former mining hellhole filled with pedophiles (not a joke), and then Moscow.

Jedit posted:

Every time I see someone discuss Idaho I think "yep, you da ho alright".

RFC2324 posted:

every single person in that town of 2500 people made that joke to me when I first got there

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Everyone in here just dunkin on Idaho.

FactsAreUseless posted:

edit: I'm not trying to outdo or piggyback off the much funnier Ohio quote by the way, I just want to express my intense discomfort with Moscow, Idaho.

quote:

Moscow Police Chief David Duke

Neddy Seagoon posted:

They should show more respect for someone who died fighting Sardaukar .

FactsAreUseless posted:

The scariest part of Idaho, for anyone dumb enough to travel there, isn't Lewiston, which is an industrial shithole, or the Nazi backwoods, or the Mormon south, or the economically-collapsed tourist towns in the mountains. It's a town called Moscow. Do not go to Moscow. Moscow seems very nice on the outside - arts! liberals! college! - but it is de-facto run by a cult (not its first!), there have been an insane number of mass shootings there (google them!), and the whole place is basically some smiling fake-town-pride Stephen King horror poo poo. Everyone is extremely tense and a surprising number of people just straight-up go missing from the area. Some serious "something lurks beneath the surface" stuff going on there.

It is not a good place and I will not be surprised if there's at least one Netflix documentary about it in 20 years. There's a reason all the serial killers come from the Northwest.

edit: I'm not trying to outdo or piggyback off the much funnier Ohio quote by the way, I just want to express my intense discomfort with Moscow, Idaho.

edit 2: I just remembered the entire Wallace area. So this ruined former mining hellhole filled with pedophiles (not a joke), and then Moscow.

Pick posted:

there's a really good fur trading post in Moscow. least creepy thing about it.

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Let the record show that the least creepy thing about Moscow, Idaho is a place to buy the preserved skins of dead animals to decorate your home and person.

Outrail posted:

Paging Pick. Paging Pick to the quote thread.

Pick posted:

there's a really good fur trading post in Moscow. least creepy thing about it.

FactsAreUseless posted:

heck yes I love Modest Mouse too

1stGear posted:

???????