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King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
It's a fuckin blue falcon lmao



E. Added image

King of Bees fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Aug 5, 2020

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Valtonen
May 13, 2014

Tanks still suck but you don't gotta hand it to the Axis either.
That 1bde can get a logo which has both a blue falcon and a massive dick in there at the same time is not coincidence, as evidenced by the fact that my unit lost their weekend yet again less than an hour after that thing was published :P

EvenWorseOpinions
Jun 10, 2017
Edible Crayons
For bonus points, the image of the crayons is hosted from the army times website

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


All Crayons are edible though.

LtCol J. Krusinski
May 7, 2013

by Fluffdaddy

CainFortea posted:

All Crayons are edible though.

Smeper Fi

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.
And the asbestos ones give you +2 against fire.

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

One time I was hiking and had to duck off into the woods to take a dump and as I was wiping I was squatted too low and my knuckles touched the poop.

At first I thought aw dang it, but then I thought if it were an RPG, it would be a mixed status buff.

Poop knuckles: -1 CHA, +1 poison damage in melee combat.

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Septic Fist style also boosts your saving throw to escape combat, nobody wants to fight the greased up poop guy

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

King of Bees posted:

It's a fuckin blue falcon lmao



E. Added image

I spent way too much time looking for the goatse for it to just be a blue falcon axe :mad:

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

sharknado slashfic posted:

I spent way too much time looking for the goatse for it to just be a blue falcon axe :mad:

Well it does have a huge cock and balls there as well

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Cyrano4747 posted:

THey also have the lifeboat from that Maersk ship that got taken by pirates and they made a Tom Hanks movie about. I dunno where they got that or who owned it.

Very suspicious imo.

Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


sharknado slashfic posted:

I spent way too much time looking for the goatse for it to just be a blue falcon axe :mad:

That part would've been much more obvious if it was a falchion instead of an axe.

Notahippie
Feb 4, 2003

Kids, it's not cool to have Shane MacGowan teeth

shame on an IGA posted:

Septic Fist style also boosts your saving throw to escape combat, nobody wants to fight the greased up poop guy

I think it was a Camp Kill Yourself thing but it might have been during Jackass, but one of the guys got revenge for getting pissed on while sleeping by taking a poo poo in his hand and jamming it into the pisser's ear while he was sleeping.

Walking down the hall he says to the camera "people will gently caress with you if you got a knife, if you got a gun. But nobody's loving with you when you got a piece of poo poo"

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

Notahippie posted:

I think it was a Camp Kill Yourself thing but it might have been during Jackass, but one of the guys got revenge for getting pissed on while sleeping by taking a poo poo in his hand and jamming it into the pisser's ear while he was sleeping.

Walking down the hall he says to the camera "people will gently caress with you if you got a knife, if you got a gun. But nobody's loving with you when you got a piece of poo poo"

You're right, it was in the CKY2K video. The funniest bit is that it happened the other way around - the poo poo in the ear was the first move. Ryan Dunn woke up so incredibly pissed off that he had poo poo smeared across his face, ear and lip that he wanted to murder DiCo for doing it. Bam tries to talk him into revenge by suggesting he dump jelly on him, causing Dunn to stare incredulously and ask "JELLY?! I have poo poo on my lip!" Dunn decides to pee on DiCo's face while he sleeps in lieu of beating his rear end. Then five minutes later they're all laughing about it like best buddies.

Jackass and CKY2K was pretty much on repeat through my formative years which probably explains a lot.

Notahippie
Feb 4, 2003

Kids, it's not cool to have Shane MacGowan teeth

Wild T posted:

You're right, it was in the CKY2K video. The funniest bit is that it happened the other way around - the poo poo in the ear was the first move. Ryan Dunn woke up so incredibly pissed off that he had poo poo smeared across his face, ear and lip that he wanted to murder DiCo for doing it. Bam tries to talk him into revenge by suggesting he dump jelly on him, causing Dunn to stare incredulously and ask "JELLY?! I have poo poo on my lip!" Dunn decides to pee on DiCo's face while he sleeps in lieu of beating his rear end. Then five minutes later they're all laughing about it like best buddies.

Jackass and CKY2K was pretty much on repeat through my formative years which probably explains a lot.

Holy poo poo, I remember now, you're right. In my head poo poo was obviously the escalation so I reversed the order but year. DiCo thinks getting pissed on was worse, but I imagined having to dig somebody else's poo poo out of your earholes and never bought that.

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012


I read about something similar in a lovely (:haw:) Clancey novel. Seems to be a good way to avoid getting your rear end kicked, either by escaping a horrified attacker or by ensuring a quick death in a fit of passion after being caught. On the balance of things imma put more effort into running than poo poo chucking though.

Rat's story reminded me about one time I got bit by a mosquito on my dick after pissing in a biv site.

quote:

septic fist fighting style
lmao

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

Guest2553 posted:

Rat's story reminded me about one time I got bit by a mosquito on my dick after pissing in a biv site.

lmao

I'm the idiot in this case. I was sitting on my front porch with my one of my girlfriends having post-work drinks and cigars last week, freeballing it in a tan t-shirt and thin gym shorts because even after 18 years I'm still basic as gently caress. We'd hung fly traps because they're terrible this year, which got rid of them and instead we started getting eaten alive by mosquitos. I happen to look down and there's a mosquito hovering scant millimeters above my dick. I instinctively slap it, forgetting that the way i was sitting put my ballsack directly in the line of fire.

I'll still take five minutes of achey-gut nut pain over several days of itchy mosquito bite dick, though, so I think I made the right call in the end.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
I had a patient with a ton of standing water in their yard, leading to several hundred mosquitos in the back of my ambulance while we were transporting them.

I had mosquito bites in places I didn’t know existed. It was miserable.

Snowy
Oct 6, 2010

A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense



Wild T posted:

You're right, it was in the CKY2K video. The funniest bit is that it happened the other way around - the poo poo in the ear was the first move. Ryan Dunn woke up so incredibly pissed off that he had poo poo smeared across his face, ear and lip that he wanted to murder DiCo for doing it. Bam tries to talk him into revenge by suggesting he dump jelly on him, causing Dunn to stare incredulously and ask "JELLY?! I have poo poo on my lip!" Dunn decides to pee on DiCo's face while he sleeps in lieu of beating his rear end. Then five minutes later they're all laughing about it like best buddies.

Jackass and CKY2K was pretty much on repeat through my formative years which probably explains a lot.

This reminds me of something from Dirty Sanchez, probably just because of the grossness. One of them does a beer enema with another guy pouring his pint into a tube that goes up the first dudes rear end. Then the pourer is holding an empty pint glass. When the enema guy sprays the beer out of his rear end the other guy impulsively jams the glass into the spray. Then everyone goes “DRINK IT!” And he does, but then pukes it up, some of it landing in the glass he’s still holding. Then they yell “DRINK IT AGAIN!!” And yes, he does it.

E- I sort of got it right. Don’t watch this :nms::nws:

https://youtu.be/DwkC1Jj_oOc

Snowy fucked around with this message at 18:43 on Aug 7, 2020

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

Snowy posted:

This reminds me of something from Dirty Sanchez, probably just because of the grossness. One of them does a beer enema with another guy pouring his pint into a tube that goes up the first dudes rear end. Then the pourer is holding an empty pint glass. When the enema guy sprays the beer out of his rear end the other guy impulsively jams the glass into the spray. Then everyone goes “DRINK IT!” And he does, but then pukes it up, some of it landing in the glass he’s still holding. Then they yell “DRINK IT AGAIN!!” And yes, he does it.

E- I sort of got it right. Don’t watch this :nms::nws:

https://youtu.be/DwkC1Jj_oOc

Those guys were loving nuts. Look up the pube pizza episode and see if you can watch it without gagging.

Booger Presley
Aug 6, 2008

Pillbug

shame on an IGA posted:

Septic Fist style also boosts your saving throw to escape combat, nobody wants to fight the greased up poop guy

Goddamn lol!

Wandered into this thread and read this. Had me blinking for some time trying to parse.

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.

Booger Presley posted:

Goddamn lol!

Wandered into this thread and read this. Had me blinking for some time trying to parse.

Av/post combo.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Wheeling back around to this one, the two main dudes just got 20 years in Venezuela's finest correctional facility.

Daddy Trump won't be able to bail you out of this one lads.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
Lol as if he would have anyway

Dick Burglar
Mar 6, 2006

Memento posted:

Wheeling back around to this one, the two main dudes just got 20 years in Venezuela's finest correctional facility.

Daddy Trump won't be able to bail you out of this one lads.

I graduated high school with one of those dudes. I never would’ve pinned him for being a mil type, let alone a green beret. Life is strange.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Dick Burglar posted:

I graduated high school with one of those dudes. I never would’ve pinned him for being a mil type, let alone a green beret. Life is strange.

Turns out he wasn't!

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Memento posted:

Wheeling back around to this one, the two main dudes just got 20 years in Venezuela's finest correctional facility.

Daddy Trump won't be able to bail you out of this one lads.

He doesn't like people who get captured, remember?

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
Woops!


Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
Looks like fog

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you
https://twitter.com/TheDreadShips/status/1246364316355514368

This is a good thread about a Venezuelan patrol craft getting owned by a cruise ship earlier this year

Wingnut Ninja
Jan 11, 2003

Mostly Harmless

Look at it this way, at least none of them caught on fire.

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Milo and POTUS posted:

Looks like turbocancer

Vengarr
Jun 17, 2010

Smashed before noon

canyoneer posted:

https://twitter.com/TheDreadShips/status/1246364316355514368

This is a good thread about a Venezuelan patrol craft getting owned by a cruise ship earlier this year

Venezuela accusing the cruise ship of "piracy" is especially good.

If they were a bunch of pirates instead of a cruise ship full of tourists, and they managed to sink your frigate by doing absolutely nothing, you are still the idiot

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Wingnut Ninja posted:

Look at it this way, at least no one suffocated.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

P-FAS is stored in the maintenance halls

BIG HEADLINE
Jun 13, 2006

"Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

Memento posted:

P-FAS is stored in the maintenance halls

:golfclap:

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

molesting a child

sneaking a child onto post so you can molest in the comfort of home

getting a DUI at the gate while sneaking a child onto post so you can molest in the comfort of home

https://wpde.com/news/local/police-marine-charged-with-statutory-rape

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.
That mustache never lies.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Wild T posted:

That mustache never lies.

The technical term is “molestache”.

See also: the “pedosmile”

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J.theYellow
May 7, 2003
Slippery Tilde

shame on an IGA posted:

getting a DUI at the gate while sneaking a child onto post so you can molest in the comfort of home


getting a DUI at the gate while sneaking a child onto post so you can molest in the comfort of home, while being a 20-year-old LCpl, too young to drink yet too old to gently caress a teenager

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