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Methylethylaldehyde posted:The correct days in which to contact him can only be determined via a complex system of auguries, horoscopes, and Zodiac Killer cryptograms. If the pigeon is dispatched on an incorrect day, it's is ritualistically fed to the dark creatures responsible for continued uptime, and you are invoiced for 'emergency response to trouble ticket'. After factoring in the cost of de-extinctifying passanger pigeons the CEO still thinks this is better than actually paying for an updated system.
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Jul 13, 2022 00:32
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Outrail posted:After factoring in the cost of de-extinctifying passanger pigeons the CEO still thinks this is better than actually paying for an updated system. Jurassic Park was just an accidental byproduct of this program, which is why their network also failed.
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Jul 13, 2022 00:36
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Outrail posted:After factoring in the cost of de-extinctifying passanger pigeons the CEO still thinks this is better than actually paying for an updated system. Nah, the legal team was able to determine that 'passenger pigeon' was an ambiguous statement, and was not intended to be a specific breed of pigeon, only that it was a pigeon that was a passenger on some other method of transportation. The Arbitrators sided with the people who bribed them the most, so now all communications are poorly scanned printouts of faxes, taped to a random park pigeon they catch, and are delivered via bicycle messenger. The CEO looked at the expense of the other option, but determined that legal fuckery and torturing the english language and contract law to get what he wanted was less risky than the more traditional crimes against god and ethical boundaries found in revivifying the dead.
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Jul 13, 2022 01:05
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Nah, the legal team was able to determine that 'passenger pigeon' was an ambiguous statement, and was not intended to be a specific breed of pigeon, only that it was a pigeon that was a passenger on some other method of transportation. The Arbitrators sided with the people who bribed them the most, so now all communications are poorly scanned printouts of faxes, taped to a random park pigeon they catch, and are delivered via bicycle messenger. Despite legal fuckery, because it was not in fact delivered by an actual passenger pigeon this does not work, the bike messenger is consumed by dark powers and the system is still hosed. Gary is given a raise for his handling of the situation and nobody important seems to think this is a problem. Susan in accounting will be blamed for any future issues as she was the one who requested the update.
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Jul 13, 2022 02:08
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I spent the last week coordinating a part number changeover mandated by our customer/sister company. This is a scramble for all involved and requires a ton of attention from multiple sites and a good deal of getting our vendor set up to start producing the "new" parts. I only found out today that all the upper level part numbers, the ones that should be driving demand for the parts I care about, aren't in the system and so won't get made or be able to ship between locations unless someone does something. I am not the person who should be finding this out, so I warned everyone and signed off for the day. Tomorrow morning will be fun.
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Jul 13, 2022 02:16
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I've been looking for a new job recently and found myself in the position of having four ( ) competing offers.Of course I told the recruiter at each place that I was considering multiple offers and to "Do what you can to make sure your offer is the best if you really want me to work for you." Eventually they were all at roughly the same place salary-wise, so I picked the one that offered an extra week of vacation and a pension. I let the others know my choice and thought that would be the end of it, but then one of them calls me back and is all "The hiring managers really want you to work here and we have room in our budget to offer you a higher salary." Look dipshits, what part of "Do what you can to make sure your offer is the best if you really want me to work for you" did you misunderstand? Why did you loving lowball me for a contract position with no promise of permanent employment when I told you that the other positions I was considering were permanent? Do you think I want to come and work for you now, after knowing that you deliberately offered me less than you thought I was worth? 
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Jul 13, 2022 03:31
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McGavin posted:I've been looking for a new job recently and found myself in the position of having four ( Yes. They are profoundly stupid.
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Jul 13, 2022 03:36
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McGavin posted:Look dipshits, what part of "Do what you can to make sure your offer is the best if you really want me to work for you" did you misunderstand? Why did you loving lowball me for a contract position with no promise of permanent employment when I told you that the other positions I was considering were permanent? Do you think I want to come and work for you now, after knowing that you deliberately offered me less than you thought I was worth? Pull out the swears and clean it up slightly and send this back to them. I'd really like to hear what they have to say and I think it's a valid question.
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Jul 13, 2022 04:42
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RocketMermaid posted:Do you work at my brewery? Because getting the bartenders to do a loving thing is impossible, and the two taproom managers can't be arsed to do anything about it. All the taproom responsibilities other than "pour beer into glass and take money" are gradually being delegated to me and the other brewer, and no matter how clearly we communicate things like the locations of different kegs they can't be bothered to look before snapping at us about not being able to find something. Hell, I've had to scrub the toilets when they get too gross because nobody else would do it. We have four owners here as well, but they’re all nice boys who got to tell their rear end in a top hat boss at their day job to stick it four years ago and they’ve all been full time since. I know you don’t work at my brewery though, because our bar staff are pretty cluey and helpful. I pitch in for them when it’s crazy, and they only ask me reasonable requests, it’s really nice. They also did a deep clean of the taproom chiller yesterday, bless them. My old brewery though, hoooooo boy. I was beyond stoked to leave that joint. Kinda wondering how much crossover there is between milk the forklift and SA now Shithouse Dave fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Jul 13, 2022 |
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Jul 13, 2022 04:52
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McGavin posted:I've been looking for a new job recently and found myself in the position of having four ( To [Person(s)], While I appreciate your generous offer, I must respectfully decline as I have elected to take a position better suited elsewhere based on the initial offer tendered by your company during the negotiation period. Had your company/team offered this amount during the negotiation period rather than leave a final tender offer until this time, I may have considered otherwise. Thank you for your time, McGavin.
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Jul 13, 2022 11:31
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BigHead posted:A boomer at my org today announced he has held up a big project for several months because when he copy pasted an email address to an external partner, he included the period at the end of the sentence. Like "smith@yahoo.com." Including that period over and over and over, until he finally called IT to "fix" it for him. He has been getting "undeliverable" messages but he hadn't thought they were important. We have been operating under the assumption that the external partner has been avoiding and ignoring us since March. Nope, just this rear end in a top hat can't figure out email. I have a TINY amount of sympathy for this. I mean, I believe you that this person has terminal boomer brain and they're just bad at email and don't get that the bounced message is an indication they hosed up. But in my current position I've got a gigantic hell mailing list for this quarterly clusterfuck I'm responsible for. The frequency of emails is in that awkward spot where it's infrequent enough that people are getting added or leaving between messages all the time, but often enough that you need an actual list. Of course that list isn't maintained well. I do what I can with constantly adding in people when I'm told that Bob just got hired into the Department Of Widget Integration and needs to be getting these emails, but when Carol from Widget Resources retires it might be a year or more before I find out. This is complicated by the various contractors and other less than permanent staff that sometimes get in on it. Or people who move laterally within the organization and their new responsibilities either do or don't require them to get this email. And it's a gently caress-off huge list, too. Over 100 people at one point, although it's been pruned a bit since then. Which means that every time I have to send one of these blasts my in-box gets bombarded by a loving cacophony of OOO responses, auto-responses, and inevitably a few "undeliverable" messages in the mix. I do my best to prune those out when I see them, but it's frankly a low priority item for me given my other responsibilities. I dunno, your person sounds like an idiot but just reading about undeliverable notices kinda triggers me. The real answer to all this would be to un-gently caress how these semi-quarterly things are sent out, maybe even *gasp* have a special email box just for it so it's not coming from Cyrano@organization.biz and loving up the rest of my inbox, and maybe even do something really radical like just set up a loving internal page to post this information on rather than blasting it out into people's emails. I mean, I know for a fact that most of the people who get this don't actually want it. But this is how someone authorized it to be done in the mists of time (I no bullshit think I heard the late 90s as an actual origin date once) and changing things would be  so 
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Jul 13, 2022 14:07
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Cyrano4747 posted:I have a TINY amount of sympathy for this. I mean, I believe you that this person has terminal boomer brain and they're just bad at email and don't get that the bounced message is an indication they hosed up. But in my current position I've got a gigantic hell mailing list for this quarterly clusterfuck I'm responsible for. The frequency of emails is in that awkward spot where it's infrequent enough that people are getting added or leaving between messages all the time, but often enough that you need an actual list. You can fix most of your irritations with an outlook rule to move any automated replies to a different folder and sort undeliverables to a different folder. It would take less time than this took to write too! Source: it was my simple and easy fix to this at my last job
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Jul 13, 2022 14:11
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Outrail posted:Pull out the swears and clean it up slightly and send this back to them. I'd really like to hear what they have to say and I think it's a valid question. It was a finance position with the utilities division of my local government, so they're trying to keep my taxes low, which I can appreciate. I don't really want to ruffle any feathers, because they like me and if they had offered me a permanent position I would probably be working there instead. They were just unlucky that one of the other positions I was offered was a permanent role with a provincial industry regulator. Neddy Seagoon posted:Letter Contrary to my posting here, I am actually capable of writing a professional email. 
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Jul 13, 2022 15:38
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McGavin posted:Contrary to my posting here, I am actually capable of writing a professional email. Sup Fuckfaces, What the hell is this scrub-tier negotiation bullshit? You cheap-rear end motherfuckers trying to lowball me? Eat my poo poo and puke corn. Kind regards, McGavin
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Jul 13, 2022 15:55
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Dumb poo poo your work does - Sup Fuckfaces,
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Jul 13, 2022 16:13
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McGavin posted:Look dipshits, what part of "Do what you can to make sure your offer is the best if you really want me to work for you" did you misunderstand? Similar story from my last job hunt. I started talking to some startup at the same time that I was in early talks with some larger companies. The startup very intentionally slow played the process, knowing that I was still in loops with other companies, so they didn't need to hurry. They added lots of extra meetings and informal interviews to the process, had me meet the CEO and some other leads for dinner and drinks and poo poo, had their recruiter dig more into my career goals so they could pay lipservice to them, etc. At the end, I have 2 other offers on the table from bigger/way cooler companies when the startup CEO finally calls me with his offer. He prefaces it with lots of poo poo like "We're definitely open to talking more about it, I don't want money to be the reason you don't come work for us!", then proceeds with an offer that's fully like, 30% lower than the others, before even talking equity or benefits. I was so disinterested I didn't even bother negotiating, and just used the other 2 offers against each other to get more from the company I liked. The weird thing was that the recruiter from the startup was profoundly, personally insulted that I didn't join his client company. He called me to yell at me and said "If you knew you were just going to join [big company], why did you even bother to go through all this with us?!" Like dude, that's not how job hunts work, and if your client is gonna be that picky about their hires, maybe they should be more realistic about the market value of the skills they need.
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Jul 13, 2022 18:29
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Probably works on commission.
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Jul 13, 2022 18:30
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Shithouse Dave posted:Kinda wondering how much crossover there is between milk the forklift and SA now I dunno, I feel like most people here wouldn't take video of themselves giving OSHA the finger and post it on their company webpage. This place is at least way better than the previous brewery I worked at, where the owner had constant issues with paying things like utilities and garbage collection on time and would occasionally flub payroll to the extent that I was waiting until 7:30pm on payday for him to manually get our paychecks to us. Oh, and we'd come in in the morning to find him in the brewery three beers deep with all the lights off because he didn't want to be near his wife and toddler. Also all the floors were sloped away from the trench drains because the original head brewer hosed things up so badly, and all the original documentation on our equipment was gone because the owner fired the guy who had everything with zero notice for no good reason. We couldn't even brew for a month when I got hired because the original brewers had failed to maintain the boiler and the tubes had all cracked and rusted to the point that it was unusable. Craft brewing is a hosed-up industry as a whole TBH. I'm tired of feeling like I'm endlessly cleaning up after other people's laziness and fuckups. RocketMermaid fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Jul 13, 2022 |
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Jul 13, 2022 19:07
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Can’t fill opened roles that have been interviewed and accepted because they don’t fill the HR gender quota.
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Jul 13, 2022 19:34
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Outrail posted:Pull out the swears and clean it up slightly and send this back to them. I'd really like to hear what they have to say and I think it's a valid question. I love to see it.
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Jul 13, 2022 19:35
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The mileage reimbursement my company uses is changing and, SURPRISE SURPRISE, it's much, much worse. It went from using a simple online website where we just typed in the mileage, to some half-assed app that we have to install and then turn on and use GPS to track our driver. The app has terrible reviews, absurd permissions, and of course the privacy notice mentions that they will collect as much data as like Amazon or Facebook to sell to who-the-gently caress knows. AND on top of that, the rates are changing. It went from a simple amount per mile (most recent one was like $0.58, I think, for my area?) to a fixed monthly reimbursment plus a MUCH lower mileage rate. If you drive a few miles, you actually can come out with more reimbursement...but there's a tipping point of miles in a month, looks to be around 450ish maybe? I haven't done the full math, where you start to lose money. I drive a LOT of miles for my job, like over 1000 in a month typically, and my quick math shows me now getting about $300 less a month in reimbursement in addition to having to use a crappy app.
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Jul 13, 2022 21:12
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Time to either ask for a raise and a company phone or find a new job.
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Jul 13, 2022 21:24
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McGavin posted:Time to either ask for a raise and a company phone or find a new job. Settle for nothing less than a company car.
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Jul 13, 2022 22:05
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Refuse to drive more than the tipping point IMO.
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Jul 13, 2022 22:26
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To answer them in order: I am looking for a new job and have voiced my concerns to like the three levels of manager above me (which basically covers all the ones that are local/I know.) But they aren't high enough in the chain to really make a change , so I will likely have to ask for a big cost of living raise. I can't get a company car because the OTHER part of this switch is the removal of almost all company/fleet vehicles. Some techs and whatnot that need the larger vans, Ford Transits and such, can keep those, and obviously no executive is losing a car, but every 'rank and file' employee has to turn their company car in by the end of the month (we were also notified of this change last Thursday, the 7th.) On one of the virtual info/Q&A sessions, I swear one woman was nearly in tears pleading her case because she went to look at cars to buy (she has no personal car, since fleet vehicles could be used for personal use as long as it was tracked) and on top of almost no inventory, there's also absurd APRs and massively inflated car prices! I swear they engineered this for the worst possible timing. She'll said she puts almost 90k miles a year on the fleet car just for work driving, not counting any personal miles, so this new rate system really fucks her over. I'm thinking she will quit (though she also said rather flippantly that the longer drives she used to do, she'll now just fly and expense it. Hope she does.) And reducing my mileage isn't possible. I am contracted to a single customer, 40 hours a week. So I only drive from my house to there. And that customer really hates Work From home but I might have to force the issue... There's 5 if is from my company contracted to do work there so we can sort of form a coalition and do rotating WFH days, like 1 or 2 each a week. DrBouvenstein fucked around with this message at 23:24 on Jul 13, 2022 |
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Jul 13, 2022 23:21
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Polish up that resume. Doesn't even matter if you personally are doing okay after this change: it's bad news for the health of your company.
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Jul 13, 2022 23:38
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I'm honestly very sorry that most of you are basically being reduced to similar situations as freelancers, which means the companies are basically expecting you to provide all your own resources/materials as simply a manner of-course.
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Jul 13, 2022 23:52
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I could have this wrong, but isn’t the mileage rate set by the IRS? I know waiting until the end of the year to get money back from your taxes absolutely will not help some people, but could it help bridge the gap and recover some of the expenses while job hunting? https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/irs-increases-mileage-rate-for-remainder-of-2022 Like how dies this work when you work for a lovely company?
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Jul 14, 2022 02:04
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I got my review today. The boss proudly told me that the range for the department was 0-3 percent, but I was so good they’re going to give me 4. You stupid fucks, you pay me $16/hr. No paperwork gets done without me. I’m the only person in this place who can take a unit all the way from coming in with the driver, checking it in, fixing it, QAing it, billing it, and sending it out the door. I built a customized arduino device to speed up data entry. I know at least one customer has written the big boss saying I was an asset to the company. You literally had my only possible replacement quit without notice two weeks ago. And I’m supposed to be excited that I get a 64 cent an hour raise?! I like this place, I like my coworkers, but you’re giving me at least a dollar fifty or I am walking the hell out that door. Jesus, how out of touch with reality are you?
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Jul 14, 2022 02:08
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Domus posted:I got my review today. The boss proudly told me that the range for the department was 0-3 percent, but I was so good they’re going to give me 4. You stupid fucks, you pay me $16/hr. No paperwork gets done without me. I’m the only person in this place who can take a unit all the way from coming in with the driver, checking it in, fixing it, QAing it, billing it, and sending it out the door. I built a customized arduino device to speed up data entry. I know at least one customer has written the big boss saying I was an asset to the company. You literally had my only possible replacement quit without notice two weeks ago. And I’m supposed to be excited that I get a 64 cent an hour raise?! I like this place, I like my coworkers, but you’re giving me at least a dollar fifty or I am walking the hell out that door. Jesus, how out of touch with reality are you? I love this about %age based raises. 5% to someone on 100k is not the same as 5% to someone on minimum wage. Spell it out in actual dollars and cents to them and see how they react
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Jul 14, 2022 02:17
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Techno posted:Can’t fill opened roles that have been interviewed and accepted because they don’t fill the HR gender quota. My company has the same and the funniest part is this hosed over HR completely because we need to have at least 33% of each gender in management roles and total positions and not only is hr 0% men in leadership roles, its like 10% men overall and one just quit due to feeling like he was only kept around as a token and would never be promoted
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Jul 14, 2022 02:21
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Domus posted:I got my review today. The boss proudly told me that the range for the department was 0-3 percent, but I was so good they’re going to give me 4. You stupid fucks, you pay me $16/hr. No paperwork gets done without me. I’m the only person in this place who can take a unit all the way from coming in with the driver, checking it in, fixing it, QAing it, billing it, and sending it out the door. I built a customized arduino device to speed up data entry. I know at least one customer has written the big boss saying I was an asset to the company. You literally had my only possible replacement quit without notice two weeks ago. And I’m supposed to be excited that I get a 64 cent an hour raise?! I like this place, I like my coworkers, but you’re giving me at least a dollar fifty or I am walking the hell out that door. Jesus, how out of touch with reality are you? Consider working as hard as you are paid while looking for a new job
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Jul 14, 2022 02:55
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RocketMermaid posted:Do you work at my brewery? Because getting the bartenders to do a loving thing is impossible, and the two taproom managers can't be arsed to do anything about it. All the taproom responsibilities other than "pour beer into glass and take money" are gradually being delegated to me and the other brewer, and no matter how clearly we communicate things like the locations of different kegs they can't be bothered to look before snapping at us about not being able to find something. Hell, I've had to scrub the toilets when they get too gross because nobody else would do it. To be fair, they finally did a deep clean because I kept bitching about it. I wouldn't mind doing a bit of cleanup when I'm not busy, but it's summer and I'm literally the only brewer. We're very small though. Only 500 liters with 6 FVs, but one of the tanks isn't holding pressure at the moment. Gotta figure that out next week since I'll have a lot of down time. But yeah. The restaurant manager insists on serving all our beers with a big head. I mean, I do a step mash for the saison we have on tap, but I just do a single decoction mash for the IPA and pale ale, so you can froth it up all you want, but the customer is just gonna get a glass of beer with some sad dish suds partway up a partially filled glass. I've tried to explain this but it just doesn't take. I go go grab a growler sometimes and the loving taps for the IPA and pale ale are at nearly two loving bar, so they dump about a glass worth with every pour. Whatever. Edit: They aren't terrible people but sometimes it just feels like pulling teeth. I get being slammed here. I had to bartend here for a while, but if I spilled beer all over the floor, I cleaned it up as soon as I got a lull. Sorry about the owner situation. That poo poo's the worst. I worked for a place a few years ago with an owner who wasn't in tech, but clearly thought their approach was the best. Motherfucker couldn't stick to a production schedule to save his rich failson rear end. Had to dump so much viable yeast because we "needed" to make one of his loving brain farts. On the plus side, I'm really happy with how my soba saison came out! Looking forward to seeing how it tastes after carb! Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Jul 14, 2022 |
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Jul 14, 2022 03:16
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Also RocketMermaid and Shithouse Dave, if either of you ever end up in or around Osaka, hit me up! I can introduce you around to some brewers in the area.
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Jul 14, 2022 03:26
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Domus posted:I got my review today. The boss proudly told me that the range for the department was 0-3 percent, but I was so good they’re going to give me 4. You stupid fucks, you pay me $16/hr. No paperwork gets done without me. I’m the only person in this place who can take a unit all the way from coming in with the driver, checking it in, fixing it, QAing it, billing it, and sending it out the door. I built a customized arduino device to speed up data entry. I know at least one customer has written the big boss saying I was an asset to the company. You literally had my only possible replacement quit without notice two weeks ago. And I’m supposed to be excited that I get a 64 cent an hour raise?! I like this place, I like my coworkers, but you’re giving me at least a dollar fifty or I am walking the hell out that door. Jesus, how out of touch with reality are you? Apply for another job then slam your dick on the desk of that manager and demand six figures in compensation.
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Jul 14, 2022 03:28
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I don’t have a dick 
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Jul 14, 2022 03:33
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Domus posted:I don’t have a dick Store bought is fine.
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Jul 14, 2022 03:35
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Zil posted:Store bought is fine. Funnier, actually.
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Jul 14, 2022 03:42
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Slam the corpse of Tricky Dick on the desk.
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Jul 14, 2022 03:43
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Slam his dick on the table. 
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