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Once upon a time little impulse 7 effect was quietly minding his own business. The reset stone had been activated and the land of the Sleepless Nights abermud (that's a text MORPG, my friends) had just restarted. So, all the items, monsters, treasure! and puzzles were back where they were expected to be and the Seadog Inn was about to start letting fresh, hopeful adventurers back in. The Seadog Inn was a wonderful place. You could sit and chat all day and night, shout encouragement to other adventurers, play poker or even look at the tome. The tome was a list of the most recent adventurers who had, through some mishap or another such as a horrible monster, been killed. Impulse 7 effect was killed by the Troll having reached 2,360 points. That was a good reminder. Be careful walking over bridges. Death was harsh in Sleepless Nights; 90% loss of experience points. This was a bitter pill which all adventurers had to take, now and again. The Seadog Inn was the only safe room from attacks and spells in the whole of the Sleepless Nights land. As all items were replaced to their starting locations, the only thing an adventurer took from reset to reset was their hard-earned xp, completed quests and guild. Little impulse 7 effect had joined a guild. He was an assassin. Not, in case you were jumping to unfair conclusions, for any malign reason, only that assassins could carry a small secondary weapon along with the main one. This made hitting those awful monsters that much better. With the reset then, a weapon was required in order to kill monsters and collect treasure to build up that valuable xp. Gueneviere and Whiskas were on. This was good as they were both nice adventurers who liked to help. Gueneviere says, "Has anyone seen Polpot?" as Frag arrives. Frag says, "No, why?" Gueneviere says, "I want to try and wiz soon and you know what he's like." Frags hmms. Wizzing was the ultimate goal of all adventurers. It meant to become immortal, to go from the lofty heights of level 15 at 290,000 points to the hallowed list of those that had completed all quests, including the final quest. Impulse 7 effect was only level 6. He had quests to solve and treasure to pit. Leaving the Seadog Inn, Impulse 7 effect headed west to where he knew a nice dagger was. He found it last week and it was a good and useful weapon. Someone shouts, "Come to the Hatchet Inn." Impulse 7 effect looked at the <who> list and saw that his good friend Machiavelli was on. Machiavelli was the one who had introduced Impulse 7 effect to the land of Sleepless Nights. Along with a number of other students, they had begun the great adventure to immortality together. Machiavelli was also Impulse 7 effect's roommate in the other world. Machiavelli starts to help you. Machiavelli says, "Look, if someone is helping you, you can take the axe from the wall." In the Hatchet Inn, there was indeed an axe in the wall. A very good axe. It gets taken. Machiavelli says, "Can you wield the axe with the dagger?" The axe could be wielded along with the dagger. Machiavelli says, "That's amazing, you'll do a ton of damage with those. I wish I'd joined the assassin guild instead of warrior before getting to level 7, now." The warrior guild was a good guild for a new adventurer. You were tough, with extra hitpoints. You also had access to the runesword, one of the most powerful weapons in the game, especially for a newer adventurer. The downside for warriors, was that their professional pride meant they could never <flee> from a fight. <flee>ing, of course, cost 10% of your experience, but this was always preferable than getting killed! The runesword was a tricky beast, too. It sometimes randomly attacked people. Fortunately, Machiavelli wasn't carrying the runesword. Machiavelli wasn't carrying anything at all. A rat walked into the Hatchet Inn. Machiavelli says, "Cool, easy points." Machiavelli attacks the rat. Impulse 7 effect attacks Machiavelli. After Machiavelli passed on, he logged back into Seadog Inn. Someone shouts, "What the hell was that?" You shout, "I'm so sorry! I typed <k it> and then I realised the stupid system had started hitting you then it lagged and then you were dead  "You shout, "I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry. Here, have the axe to help get your points back." Someone shouts, "Look out, Polpot in on." Impulse 7 effect quickly returned to the Seadog Inn where Machiavelli was trying to come to terms with the terrible accident. Impulse 7 effect gives Machiavelli, the level 2 warrior, the axe. Impulse 7 effect says, "drat it, this is totally unacceptable, all that work we did. Right, you can have the rest of this reset, I'll stay here." Machiavelli sighs. Machiavelli says, "Ok, thanks. I'll go to the tower and see if I can get the quick points." Machiavelli leaves Out. Gueneviere says, "Well that's this reset a bust now you're here." Gueneviere pokes Polpot. Polpot shrugs. Polpot examines tome. Polpot nods.
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Jun 8, 2012 01:20
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| # ? May 14, 2024 00:47 |
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The gently caress? No Grief? All Caps? You Write Pretty
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Jun 8, 2012 01:26
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Kelson posted:The gently caress? No Grief? All Caps? He accidentally murdered his pal who was close to 'winning the game', I guess? 
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Jun 8, 2012 01:28
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Playing Darius in LoL right now is pretty hilarious; between his ultimate and passive abilities, he excels in 'kill stealing' in a game where a) kills don't really matter b) people get upset as gently caress if you 'steal' their kills. This is especially fun if the guy you're doing it to is a high leveled rear end in a top hat playing on his low level alt to rack up easy wins on new players.
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Jun 8, 2012 01:28
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Tsurupettan posted:He accidentally murdered his pal who was close to 'winning the game', I guess? The implication is that the friend he killed was pretty close to the same level as him, ie, a long way from even being able to attempt winning the game. I really don't know what the point of all that was.
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Jun 8, 2012 01:58
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I don't think it being written like a fairy tale helped either.
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Jun 8, 2012 02:05
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Oppenheimer posted:I don't think it being written like a fairy tale helped either. Nah, the writing style was easy to read and would have made for a great story, if there had actually been a punchline.
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Jun 8, 2012 02:06
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I think we got griefed with an anti-griefing story. 
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Jun 8, 2012 02:24
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I was waiting for it to be one of those posts where you get 2/3rds of the way through and run into the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song.
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Jun 8, 2012 02:28
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The previous adventure lies here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2886637&pagenumber=254#post404403368 Once upon a time, all was going well in the land of Sleepless Nights. Adventurers were helping each other out fighting monsters and collecting treasure. Jared is now following you. Little Impulse 7 effect was about to return from fighting in the northern ice caverns with his new friend, Jared. They were standing over a lot of treasure and were going to take it south to the pit to sacrifice it for valuable experience. Interestingly, along the way they had collected the pearl, a quest item which when pitted ticked off a necessary quest box along the hallowed path to immortality. The game will reset in 5 minutes. Jared says, "Time's up for us, how do you want to split this?" Impulse 7 effect hmms. Impulse 7 effect says, "I'll just take the crown if you want to keep all the other treasure. It was great to clear out the ice caverns." Jared nods. Jared says, "Thanks for the pearl, we should do this again next reset." Gathering up their spoils, the fellow adventurers sorted out the gems, weapons and all the good treasure. The game will reset in 4 minutes. Jared says, "I'm carrying too much, I can't get the pearl." Impulse 7 effect hmms. Impulse 7 effect says, "Okie, just give me your axe, you take the pearl, we need to go." The ice caverns were clear, Polpot was nowhere to be seen and the game was about to reset. Jared gave Impulse 7 effect the axe. Jared took the pearl. You go south. Jared says, "This is going to be tight, remember to just <drop all> when we get to the pit." Impulse 7 effect says, "Let's go over the bridge, it's quicker and if you go fast, the troll doesn't pull you down." Jared nods. You go south. Jared leaves Down. Someone shouts, "Help." Troll hits Jared. Jared flees Up. The game will reset in 2 minutes. Jared shouts, "Help." The Troll hits Jared. Jared flees Up. Jared has died. The game will reset in 1 minute. Back in the Seadog Inn, the land of the Sleepless Nights abermud had restarted. Jared arrived and examines the tome. Jared sighs. Impulse 7 effect says, "drat it, the troll never usually does that. I'm so sorry. It nearly killed me, too "Jared shrugs. Impulse 7 effect says, "Look, let's go get the pearl. It's totally unfair how the system just does that and you earned that quest." Jared says, "Thank man, I really appreciate it."
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Jun 8, 2012 03:11
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Is this a barely edited log of what the mud actually spit out at you?
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Jun 8, 2012 03:20
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code:bucketmouse fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Jun 8, 2012 |
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Jun 8, 2012 03:38
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floor is lava posted:Nice new item spoof trick in Diablo 3 if anyone wants to try it: This really is too easy. I bet Blizzard doesn't like it one bit though. (and I didn't take any offers) 
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Jun 8, 2012 03:58
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Is the joke that these all seem to involve axes?
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Jun 8, 2012 04:00
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Synthorange looked up and realized he had spent time reading a post with no end. A single tear fell.
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Jun 8, 2012 04:06
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impulse 7 effect posted:I guess we're the one's being "griefed" here with long-winded stories about fairly innocuous actions in a small MUD? V  V
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Jun 8, 2012 13:15
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Grawl posted:This really is too easy. I bet Blizzard doesn't like it one bit though. (and I didn't take any offers) I don't play Diablo. What am I looking at?
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Jun 8, 2012 13:53
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Can't wait for the ArmA 2: Day Z stories to come pouring in. I for one tried to grief a a bandit in Cherno the other day. I saw a zombie-trail and just went after it. Heard a bunch of gunfire coming from over the ridge, so I decided to go prone and sneak in, perhaps try to nab some things out of his backpack while he was busy fixing his wounds. Perhaps I'd shoot him in the face, or just attract a shitload of zombies to gobble him up! But for some odd reason I had a second of doubt, the guy turned around and shot me straight in the face like it was nobody's business. Guess I suck at griefing.
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Jun 8, 2012 13:57
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Shinku ABOOKEN posted:I don't play Diablo. What am I looking at? Grawl is pretending to have some kind of magic item to sell, I think.
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Jun 8, 2012 14:01
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Captain McStabbin posted:Is the joke that these all seem to involve axes? No he's griefing us by telling crappy stories.
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Jun 8, 2012 14:07
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Shinku ABOOKEN posted:I don't play Diablo. What am I looking at? Essentially, items that drop from monsters in the game can be linked in a general chat channel that holds large groups of players, whether they're playing the game with you or not. Other players can click it to see the stats of the item, so it's useful for trying to sell things. What someone discovered is that you can copy and paste bits of code/script/whatever you want to call it, and make up fake items on your own. This can mean either silly names for items, or an item with properties that crash the game of whoever clicks on it.
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Jun 8, 2012 14:59
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Enthusiasm posted:Essentially, items that drop from monsters in the game can be linked in a general chat channel that holds large groups of players, whether they're playing the game with you or not. Other players can click it to see the stats of the item, so it's useful for trying to sell things. What someone discovered is that you can copy and paste bits of code/script/whatever you want to call it, and make up fake items on your own. This can mean either silly names for items, or an item with properties that crash the game of whoever clicks on it. [Scroll of Cow Level Portal] 
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Jun 8, 2012 16:36
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Enthusiasm posted:Essentially, items that drop from monsters in the game can be linked in a general chat channel that holds large groups of players, whether they're playing the game with you or not. Other players can click it to see the stats of the item, so it's useful for trying to sell things. What someone discovered is that you can copy and paste bits of code/script/whatever you want to call it, and make up fake items on your own. This can mean either silly names for items, or an item with properties that crash the game of whoever clicks on it. Didn't almost this exact thing happen in WoW not too long ago?
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Jun 8, 2012 18:52
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Amused Frog posted:Didn't almost this exact thing happen in WoW not too long ago? WoW's item IDs are exposed to the client anyhow, because of the addon framework - there's addons specifically just to trawl through the itemdb looking for interesting stuff and letting you link it. There's been various exploits involving the fact that the server won't let you link an item in chat until the server has 'seen' the item, by either someone who's got it in their inventory logging on, or a raid boss being generated with it on their loot list.
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Jun 8, 2012 19:08
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Boru posted:I guess we're the one's being "griefed" here with long-winded stories about fairly innocuous actions in a small MUD? V I think he's secretly killing his friends on purpose. He could have targeted his friend on purpose is the first story and just lied about it. In the second story he tells his friend to go to the bridge with the troll and said the troll doesn't usually attack. He knows it attacks because he talks about being killed by it in the beginning of the first story.
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Jun 8, 2012 19:42
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Jagwires posted:I think he's secretly killing his friends on purpose. He could have targeted his friend on purpose is the first story and just lied about it. In the second story he tells his friend to go to the bridge with the troll and said the troll doesn't usually attack. He knows it attacks because he talks about being killed by it in the beginning of the first story.  or  , without much room in the middle for just plain "decent."
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Jun 8, 2012 20:08
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pvp everquest griefing circa 2002: in everquest, there is/was no limit to spellcasting range along the Z axis. so, while you could not attack a player with a spell who was outside of casting range along the X/Y axees, you could always attack a player with a spell who was near you X/Y but far Z. there is/was a zone called 'velketor's labyrinth', a fairly vertically-oriented zone. i would walk up the vertical column, find someone to target, and then drop back down to the bottom entrance area. i would watch their health bar, waiting for it to drop a bit. this meant that the person i had targeted, generally the tank, was currently tanking a mob. ice comet that ho, nuke again if need be, then he dead. once the tank is dead, oftentimes the rest of the party would die too. sometimes, they would come running down towards the zone line, monsters chasing, HP at half. i would blast them fucks. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 8, 2012 20:30
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das four posted:Playing Darius in LoL right now is pretty hilarious; between his ultimate and passive abilities, he excels in 'kill stealing' in a game where a) kills don't really matter b) people get upset as gently caress if you 'steal' their kills. I gotta call bullshit on that. Kills in LoL are extremely important because you get a fat stack of XP and gold from them. If you only get an assist, you get a much smaller cut of the reward. Hence the term "fed" referring to a character who's received too many kills and is now turning into a one-man wrecking ball. People are getting upset because you're literally taking gold and xp out of their pockets, which especially sucks if you're a hard carry or some other champ that relies heavily on their gold to be viable. That being said, this makes kill stealing even better.
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Jun 8, 2012 21:30
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Glagha posted:I gotta call bullshit on that. Kills in LoL are extremely important because you get a fat stack of XP and gold from them. If you only get an assist, you get a much smaller cut of the reward. Hence the term "fed" referring to a character who's received too many kills and is now turning into a one-man wrecking ball. People are getting upset because you're literally taking gold and xp out of their pockets, which especially sucks if you're a hard carry or some other champ that relies heavily on their gold to be viable. While that's true, kill "stealing" and therefore increasing the number of assisting parties gives your team a much greater gold pool and is usually preferable to having one guy getting the kill and nobody getting assist gold.
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Jun 8, 2012 22:38
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Glagha posted:I gotta call bullshit on that. Kills in LoL are extremely important because you get a fat stack of XP and gold from them. If you only get an assist, you get a much smaller cut of the reward. Hence the term "fed" referring to a character who's received too many kills and is now turning into a one-man wrecking ball. People are getting upset because you're literally taking gold and xp out of their pockets, which especially sucks if you're a hard carry or some other champ that relies heavily on their gold to be viable. Phrased poorly; I ment kills are not a real indicator of how useful you are to the team. Kills are good, but most of the kind of people who complain about KSing are doing it in the aftermath of a team fight or a Gank, where whoever gets last hit on enemy champ x really doesn't matter, only that enemy champ x is no longer a threat or can't farm for 10-60 seconds. I am pretty new at LoL but it never will cease being funny at how petty people can be in this game.
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Jun 8, 2012 23:12
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Bertrand Hustle posted:They exist solely to remind you that you did a thing that other people did not, and possibly remind other people as well. Predictably, people who don't have them get mad as hell about them. I got some of this in TF2. I stopped playing right before they introduced hats. I picked it up again a few months later, and had some angel halo in my inventory. Apparently I got it for not going cheating or cheesing my way into crafting items or something. All I know is after I put it on people would freak the gently caress about it, calling me an rear end in a top hat and accusing me of sucking Valve's dick. I will never understand how people can so mad about internet items, let alone some silly rear end hat.
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Jun 8, 2012 23:13
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Apparently having battlefield premium makes it so they see you have it on the killcam. This infuriates people as it is something they dont have. Similar to gold ammo and premium tanks in world of tanks, your having a little extra cash is their excuse for being poo poo.
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Jun 8, 2012 23:20
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Your Gay Uncle posted:I got some of this in TF2. I stopped playing right before they introduced hats. I picked it up again a few months later, and had some angel halo in my inventory. Apparently I got it for not going cheating or cheesing my way into crafting items or something. All I know is after I put it on people would freak the gently caress about it, calling me an rear end in a top hat and accusing me of sucking Valve's dick. I will never understand how people can so mad about internet items, let alone some silly rear end hat. There was a skin that would change the Halo to the word "Fag", but of course it's client side. Why you would want the word "Fag" everywhere is beyond me.
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Jun 8, 2012 23:21
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Kuros posted:There was a skin that would change the Halo to the word "Fag", but of course it's client side. It was server side. Server owners who were mad about the halos would use it to shame halo wearers.
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Jun 8, 2012 23:34
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TRANT RESNER MAN posted:It was server side. Server owners who were mad about the halos would use it to shame halo wearers. Ah, my mistake. Still though... I'd wear it out of spite.
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Jun 8, 2012 23:35
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Your Gay Uncle posted:I got some of this in TF2. I stopped playing right before they introduced hats. I picked it up again a few months later, and had some angel halo in my inventory. Apparently I got it for not going cheating or cheesing my way into crafting items or something. All I know is after I put it on people would freak the gently caress about it, calling me an rear end in a top hat and accusing me of sucking Valve's dick. I will never understand how people can so mad about internet items, let alone some silly rear end hat. That was when they added the random drop system too, and was the only way to get hats at the time. You were also only allotted X amount of items per week. Eventually someone wrote a program that would keep you logged in without actually running TF2 (I'm guilty of this, I wanted that loving Fedora for my Spy), so you could fire it up, go about your business, and come back at a later time to see what you got. Valve was like "aww hell naw," disabled the use of the program with a patch, temp banned a bunch of people, removed items etc. They gave halos to everyone who didn't use the program, it was their way of saying "thanks for not cheating for pixellated hats, here's a pixellated hat!" So anyone who's mad over that is just pouty because they got caught red-handed with nothing to show for it. Wear your Halo good sir, wear it proudly; you have an innate opportunity to grief people for just being in their presence!
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Jun 9, 2012 00:01
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sitchelin posted:You were also only allotted X amount of items per week. quote:So anyone who's mad over that is just pouty because they got caught red-handed with nothing to show for it. Wear your Halo good sir, wear it proudly; you have an innate opportunity to grief people for just being in their presence!
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Jun 9, 2012 00:26
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People go ape poo poo when they see my Bill's hat the last couple times I have played (probably 6 months ago) because of that boycott people had over L4D2.
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Jun 9, 2012 00:53
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Aqua Hamster posted:People go ape poo poo when they see my Bill's hat the last couple times I have played (probably 6 months ago) because of that boycott people had over L4D2. I still get the same reaction with the Cheater's Lament.
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Jun 9, 2012 02:33
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I wonder what reaction I would get if I put on my ipod earbuds and my Halo hat. TF2 is such a silly game that I cant comprehend how people can take it so seriously. For fucks sake, you throw jars of pee on people, no reason to get buttfrustrated. Left 4 Dead though, that poo poo is serious business. Some friends and I gotreally, really good at L4D2. Anyone who has played more than 2 games of VS. Knows that if you enter a lobby where the other team is already full, and have the same clan tag, you leave, because your about to get stomped. We engineered what we called the Reverse Stomp. One of us would go around and find a stacked lobby, then message us. We would all join up and pretend to just be some random pubbies. The other team would expect to destroy us, but end up getting their asses handed to them. No one quite melts down like a L4D player expecting to win, only to get worked. My old favorite was one we used to do in Age of Conan. It took us about a week to realize how lovely the game was after level 20, so we decided to just gank people until our subscription ran out. The best one was when we made BlueBerry, The Barbarian Mage. All off us made exactly identical characters, and named them all BlueBerry,BlueBerry 2, BlueBerry 3, etc. One of us would walk around a lowbie dungeon to act as bait. The other 5 people would be stealthed and following closely.When the bait would start to be attacked, he would whisper to the ganker "Kallima, Kallimoo, Rashida, BlueBerry casts CLONE ATTACK", and we would all destealth and attack. People would freak out, screaming that Barbarians couldn't cast spells, that wasn't a real spell, we were hackers, etc. We even had a GM show up once because we got so many hacking complaints. Once we explained what we were doing, she laughed her rear end off and left.
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Jun 9, 2012 03:00
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