|
A wizard did it.
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2012 23:54
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 21:56 |
|
|
TequilaJesus posted:Has the series ever made reference to the days being longer/shorter during the summer/winter, or does the temperature just change? It has, very specifically. The citadel measures the length of the days and when the days start getting shorter it officially declares the beginning of autumn and sends out the white ravens. Edit: Also, as far as we know the 'long night' was a one time event involving magic forces, in fact it is alluded to have been rather similar to what the events in the series are currently gearing for and it occured 4,000-8,000 years before the events of the series, humanity survived using magic and the help of the children of the forest. So there's really no reason to presume it's a semi regular event or that it is naturally occuring in any way, the last time it was night for years was the last time the white walkers marched openly against humanity, the children and the giants and as we know "they only come out in the dark & cold or else it gets dark & cold when they come out" so it's implied heavily that these events are linked. ... okay. emanresu tnuocca fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Aug 30, 2012 |
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 00:03
|
|
|
Fatkraken posted:If it's cold enough for there to be a 700 foot wall of ice which never melts even in a decade long Summer, and everything North of the wall is colder than that, how does it have a growing season? The wall is straight up a magic wall. It seems to have some wight/other blocking capability along with the ability to melt in every slightly warm day but still be around thousands of years later. I can go along with Winterfell surviving with its underground hot springs/dragons along with much of the south, but I agree that thinking about the Thenns or someone like Craster surviving a north-of-the-wall-Winter it all just falls apart.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 00:11
|
|
|
Cirofren posted:The wall is straight up a magic wall. It seems to have some wight/other blocking capability along with the ability to melt in every slightly warm day but still be around thousands of years later. Not really though, Inuits have survived conditions much harsher than that, there are actual glaciers where those dudes live, there are sub-arctic forests which should be pretty similar to the Also, the wildling population is pretty sparse and they were all pretty freaked out about the coming long winter, we should assume a great many of them die whenever there's a long winter. emanresu tnuocca fucked around with this message at 00:58 on Aug 30, 2012 |
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 00:14
|
|
|
Cirofren posted:I can go along with Winterfell surviving with its underground hot springs/dragons along with much of the south, but I agree that thinking about the Thenns or someone like Craster surviving a north-of-the-wall-Winter it all just falls apart. I have trouble with them surviving a North of the wall SUMMER. In the prologue of the first book, the rangers in the far North are walking through snow and ice, BEFORE the raven is sent that indicates the first day of Autumn. That means in Summer, it's regularly snowing North of the wall. poo poo don't grow in conditions like that. Westeros isn't Narnia, it's too grim and down to earth to handwave the question of how anyone eats if it's permanently snowing. emanresu tnuocca posted:Not really though, Inuits have survived conditions much harsher than that, there are actual glaciers where those dudes live, there are sub-arctic forests which should be pretty similar to the frostfangs and they do sustain some game. Arctic Summers are not snowy. I've been places where it's too harsh for real trees and there's just chest high scrub, and in summer it reaches ten, fifteen celcius, there's greenery everywhere, clouds of biting insects. That's not how the far North is described or shown in the books. It's under feet of snow before Autumn has even started. The white ravens for the end of Summer are sent out in Clash of Kings, everything before then is Summer, the far north should be wet, green and the air black with mosquitoes.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 00:28
|
|
|
Stfu its magic you jackasses
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 00:33
|
|
|
Inuit are some hardcore motherfuckers, I heard this anthropologist talking about a story he heard of an Inuit trapped on the ice so he shat in his hands, waited for the poo poo to freeze, and crafted it into a poo poo knife with which he butchered his sled dogs for food and warmth as he made his way home.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 00:57
|
|
|
Fatkraken posted:
I don't really remember all the specifics (nor do I find it implausible that GRRM pulled some poo poo out of his rear end) but it's not really described as perma snowing, and the characters do comment about it getting colder as the summer draws to an end even in the AGOT prologue.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 00:57
|
|
|
Thulsa Doom posted:Inuit are some hardcore motherfuckers, I heard this anthropologist talking about a story he heard of an Inuit trapped on the ice so he shat in his hands, waited for the poo poo to freeze, and crafted it into a poo poo knife with which he butchered his sled dogs for food and warmth as he made his way home. And that Inuit was George RR Martin.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 01:12
|
|
|
George Ronald Rueld Martin: 1. Would not actually be able to reach his own rear end. 2. Would not have the dexterity to craft a poo poo lump, much less a poo poo knife. 3. Would die of a heart attack after taking two steps in deep snow.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 01:15
|
|
|
Fatkraken posted:I have trouble with them surviving a North of the wall SUMMER. In the prologue of the first book, the rangers in the far North are walking through snow and ice, BEFORE the raven is sent that indicates the first day of Autumn. That means in Summer, it's regularly snowing North of the wall. poo poo don't grow in conditions like that. Westeros isn't Narnia, it's too grim and down to earth to handwave the question of how anyone eats if it's permanently snowing. Westeros is Narnia. Magic world, magic weather, magic plants,
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 02:52
|
|
|
ThaGhettoJew posted:Westeros is Narnia. Magic world, magic weather, magic plants, If Melisandre offered me a ride in her sleigh I'd probably take it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 03:16
|
|
|
There comes a time in every man's life when he must ask himself, am I a bad enough dude to plunge balls deep into this unhallowed vagina, this home of monsters, for the sake of the hot wizard lady who bears it. Stannis is that man. He is bad enough. That is why he is king. Because Lightbringer is his cock. He will defeat the Others by dropping trou and revealing his glory. That's why his kid is all hosed up, a seed of such might cracks the vessel.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 03:19
|
|
|
Thulsa Doom posted:TThat's why his kid is all hosed up, a seed of such might cracks the vessel. Also, she got Grayscale. Anyway, I'm heading out to Dragon*Con for a few days so work will have to proceed on Game of Bones without me for a bit. Write well, ye Wild Cards! Plunge the ancestral strap-ons into even deeper recesses of depravity! If you're coming to Dragon*Con just remember I could be lurking around any corner, just waiting to memorize your description so I can write you into a filthy sex scene. Also, watch for my new skit on Dragon*Con TV! It's about MY LITTLE PONY
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 03:40
|
|
|
Grayscale is what happens when the must of Stannis touches the unworthy. By must I mean semen. Also she got hit by accident when she walked in on him and his ugly wife because he's not into kids, he's too cool for that. Because he is Stannis, and Stannis is the True King. By rights. Actually, now that I think about it, Stannis is the only person in Westeros who is not guilty of some obscene depravity.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 03:45
|
|
|
Have you seen the hose Stannis wears? That's an obscenity.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 03:53
|
|
|
He wears them because he does not poo poo. His fecal matter is warped through a singularity in his anus through space time to a parallel universe, where it manifests within the urinary tract of an author of acclaimed fantasy stories whose works have declined in quality over the last several years. That is the terrible secret of A Song of Ice and Fire.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 03:54
|
|
|
Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Have you seen the hose Stannis wears? That's an obscenity. More like Gayscale, am I right?! Thulsa Doom posted:Inuit are some hardcore motherfuckers, I heard this anthropologist talking about a story he heard of an Inuit trapped on the ice so he shat in his hands, waited for the poo poo to freeze, and crafted it into a poo poo knife with which he butchered his sled dogs for food and warmth as he made his way home. Thanks, I didn't want to come up with a backstory for my RP character - this will fit the bill nicely. bigmcgaffney posted:Let me tell you about how Sauron is actually I can't believe you read through that poo poo. I tried several times back in highschool, when I like... totally _CARED_ about tolkien, and it read like a goddamn english history book that was trying to pound facts up my rear end while managing to strip any possible pleasure out of the experience. It wasn't even rapey fun. edit: I meant that in a purely respectful admire your geek energy kind of way. I was weak. Sophia posted:I don't really care if an author never explains why something happens (I'm not so much into sci fi), but it does bother me when taking "okay, but assuming this does happen, how does the world cope with it" leads to the conclusion of "it can't". At that point, more information is needed or your constructed world falls apart. This is what hooked me into the books in the first place. I realy liked the idea of this endless night, and frozen walls, and grendel outside ripping the gently caress out of anyone left outside. Winter is loving coming yo. I wanted to see how this was managed ( Winterfell being a giant sauna was a cool start - but why the gently caress are their crypts so cold when its built on a goddamn hot spring). I assumed they would have like lots of stores, and the "winters" are more like Antarctica... sun never really rises you get some fake dawn poo poo, and then back into deep night... enough low level light so everything doesn't absolutely die the gently caress out. And sprinkle in some cave lichen that everyone eats... I was looking forward to GRRM writing about the sparse winter diet and oh the suffering ala Sam bitching to Frodo about loving lamas bread. Or Sam bitching to John about "Forest Children" mushrooms or whatever the gently caress fatty came up with. And there would be songs and culture that was specific to the Winters. Yes, I was looking forward to that poo poo. I mean "winter is coming" has been the goddamn apocalypse coming, and the petty men and their petty wars will be swept aside as people face "the real threat". 5 books later I'm still reading about the War of the loving Roses, and like 3 snowflakes have hit the ground. I need some loving END TIMES already. I need Dragons going loving insane from the cold and whole cities frozen to death and those goddamn self rightous pricks in the North riding wolves and slaying loving others and being all "sup bitches, Winter is ON!" gently caress Dany I hope she goes insane and her Dragons loving burn everything and I mean loving everything to loving ash and then freeze to death. Direwolf carcass in alley this morning, horse hooves tread on burst stomach. Kings Landing is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the Mud Gate finally scabs over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the Gregor's and Joffrey's will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down from Winterfell and whisper... "Valar Morghulis.” (Faceless Man's Journal, First Day of Winter) 
kcroy fucked around with this message at 09:21 on Aug 30, 2012 |
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 04:59
|
|
|
And on that note... is it about time for chapters to be re-distributed? Time is internet money, people. We need to get this out soon, before sex stops selling. Maybe we'll always be wretched, but at least we can be enriched.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 07:10
|
|
|
Thulsa Doom posted:Actually, now that I think about it, Stannis is the only person in Westeros who is not guilty of some obscene depravity. He did gently caress a witch... to birth a demon that then ripped out his brother's throat. That has to count for something. I mean its not as bad as Ned putting a Bastard in Lyana's belly, but still.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 09:24
|
|
|
You motherfuckers. I had to concentrate on work most of last year and this year, and I took my time reading this entire thread over the past month or so. And of course I get to the grrmfic part. gently caress all yall. I want in. I'll write whatever's left. Poor Sophia will probably need a fellow editor too, but I'm sure another goon can take that up. Goddam, guys. I thought we was mates. I thought.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 09:41
|
|
|
Uhm, regarding the wall not all melting away, you guys do realize it's a huge loving glacier that might 'sweat' sometimes during the summer days (which are usually not 10 years long) but it also re-freezes during the night, moreover, a full one third of the Night Watch's power is dedicated to maintaining wall the and the castles. It's not that inconceivable for a douche bag like Brutus Marsh to pour a bucket of water on the top of the wall when it gets really cold. And yes it also has some magic, "Coldhands" couldn't get past it, if you guys recall.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 10:07
|
|
|
This is making the rounds on tumblr as Season 3 spoilers: I think it gets funnier the longer you watch it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 11:34
|
|
|
You guys realise that the whole 'people being born, living and dying all in darkness' (The Long Night) was the first time the white walkers came, and was like a thousand years ago? I don't think every winter is like that, the days probably just get longer or something. Gurm is still an absolute fucker for having no idea about scale, but I think Westeros Winter is little less preposterous then y'all are implying kcroy posted:
When Game of Bones is done can you guys use your collective billions to make a Watchmen rip off next? I want to see Littlefinger blow up Kings Landing with a giant vagina squid.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 12:44
|
|
|
kcroy posted:He did gently caress a witch... to birth a demon that then ripped out his brother's throat. That has to count for something. Oh, right, fratricide. Well, that was by proxy, it's not like he did it himself. The Slippery Nipple posted:You guys realise that the whole 'people being born, living and dying all in darkness' (The Long Night) was the first time the white walkers came, and was like a thousand years ago? I don't think every winter is like that, the days probably just get longer or something. "Do it, Lord Varys? I took Sansa's virginity thirty-five minutes ago."
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 13:54
|
|
|
Thulsa Doom posted:Oh, right, fratricide. Well, that was by proxy, it's not like he did it himself. He kinda did, it was 'his shadow' and he was probably warging it himself (although somewhat unconsciously).
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 14:09
|
|
|
It's Melisandre's fault, she lured him with her vice-grip fire pussy. The only way Selyse would be a good gently caress is if Melisandre crawled up insider her, so it's her fault, too. It's a theme. GRRM's them is that chicks ruin everything.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 14:15
|
|
|
Thulsa Doom posted:Inuit are some hardcore motherfuckers, I heard this anthropologist talking about a story he heard of an Inuit trapped on the ice so he shat in his hands, waited for the poo poo to freeze, and crafted it into a poo poo knife with which he butchered his sled dogs for food and warmth as he made his way home. Only in the Bad Thread. thornghost posted:Also, she got Grayscale. Alright you bums I want this project done like yesterday. Let's get it done already. EDIT: People are just collectively losing their poo poo on this page and it is glorious. Shageletic fucked around with this message at 14:40 on Aug 30, 2012 |
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 14:32
|
|
|
Thulsa Doom posted:It's Melisandre's fault, she lured him with her vice-grip fire pussy. The only way Selyse would be a good gently caress is if Melisandre crawled up insider her, so it's her fault, too. No no, chicks only ruin everything if they aren't pre-pubescent or extremely mannish. Says something about Gurm, doesn't it?
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 15:29
|
|
|
IRQ posted:No no, chicks only ruin everything if they aren't pre-pubescent or extremely mannish. I like to go swimmin' with flat chested wimmin' and poo poo between me legs!
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 15:46
|
|
|
Brianne and Arya also ruined poo poo for people, I resent the notion that GRRM considers women to be redeemable. Arya had three free kills from a faceless man, normally each worth about as much as Winterfell or something and she completely and utterly failed to do anything worthwhile with them that might save Robb.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 20:18
|
|
|
emanresu tnuocca posted:Brianne and Arya also ruined poo poo for people, I resent the notion that GRRM considers women to be redeemable. She's what, a 10 year old at that point? Of course she didn't use her magic murder wishes in the most effective way, she's a child. I don't disagree with a lot of general gender criticism of the series, but the "X didn't do the smartest possible thing and therefore GRRM hates X" line of reasoning is kind of silly.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 21:19
|
|
|
Every character is a retard who does stupid poo poo. That's why they're so fun to read about and easy to relate to for people like us who are stupid retards.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 22:46
|
|
|
I'm indistinguishable from Old Nan.
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 22:50
|
|
|
kcroy posted:I can't believe you read through that poo poo. I tried several times back in highschool, when I like... totally _CARED_ about tolkien, and it read like a goddamn english history book that was trying to pound facts up my rear end while managing to strip any possible pleasure out of the experience. It wasn't even rapey fun. Should have tried reading it in middle school, like I did. Nerd energy only dissipates as you get older.  I was at the height of voraciously reading a book every couple days. Even then, I had to try to read the Silmarillion twice, but drat if it wasn't worth a lot of reading program points. Winterfell having hot springs makes me think GRRM only included them so he could eventually have an awkward anime chapter where Bran-kun tries to peek at the girl's side at Osha and accidentally sees Jeyne Poole instead and whoaaaa embarassment!!
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2012 22:53
|
|
|
bigmcgaffney posted:Nerd energy only dissipates as you get older. yeah good call, but I think in middle school (when I read lotr first time) - Simarillion was just over my reading level or something. I couldn't get past the stilted prose. bigmcgaffney posted:Winterfell having hot springs makes me think GRRM only included them so he could eventually have an awkward anime chapter where Bran-kun tries to peek at the girl's side at Osha and accidentally sees Jeyne Poole instead and whoaaaa embarassment!! hahaha. Yeah how did he pass that poo poo up? quote:Of course she didn't use her magic murder wishes in the most effective way, she's a child. She _did_ use her last wish to wish for more wishes though - that was pretty pimpin'.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2012 00:06
|
|
|
Sophia posted:I'm indistinguishable from Old Nan. I have far too many similarities to DARKSTAR~kun.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2012 03:11
|
|
|
A GLISTENING HODOR posted:I have far too many similarities to DARKSTAR~kun. You are of the night. And you try to murder young girls. If there is a filthier man in the Bad Thread, I do not know him.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2012 04:42
|
|
|
So, did you all just give up on the grrmfic or what the hell? I've got poo poo going down this weekend and next weekend but you can bet I'll be writing. Bookchat: I started re-reading AGoT for the first time, and the prologue coupled with all the autumn snows in the Stannis chapters in ADWD keeps reminding me the absolute fucker has never been anywhere north of Seattle in his life. The drudgery of winter is pretty close, but none of the environmental stuff is. And of course that's only the Westeros 'exxxtreme autumn' or whatever. Working in the sub-arctic (land of almost-always-winter) and visiting the territories is nothing like he describes, even though everything in the North (north of the neck) is like a hodgepodge of 'hurf russia is like this, right?' stereotypes. Reminds me of the book that started with a chick loving running down a mountain, during a blizzard, that was half made of mist (how is there mist!), but could still make out a town or whatever the poo poo at the bottom, miles away. For gently caress's Sake. 
SaviourX fucked around with this message at 06:59 on Aug 31, 2012 |
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2012 06:57
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 21:56 |
|
|
When I went to alaska I took a helicopter to the top of some glacier and when no one else was looking I saw a GIANT SPIDER in one of the ICY BLUE RAVINES and it was glittering like a million broken stars, and as I watched it looked at me with ita eight black pools of eternal night and then it skittered away, but I saw a HUMAN BODY in webbing on its hairy crystalline back and I knew right then GEORGE WAS RIGHT TruFacts™.
|
|
#
?
Aug 31, 2012 09:45
|
|