Horrible Football Posts From Other Football Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Horrible Football Posts From Other Football Forums

«‹›91 »

No Safe Word: Feb 26, 2005

Morby posted:

Why does that blog analyzing TFF exist?

It's titled "Anthony's Class Blog" and one of the commenters on the Toxx post "peer reviewed" it and has a similar class blog and they all follow each other's "cyberculture" blogs - http://www.blogger.com/profile/13338719092522162397

Doesn't take an internet detective

e: Also The Collector found it and registered an account after the fact NOT TO CALL ANYONE OUT

No Safe Word fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Oct 3, 2012

# ? Oct 3, 2012 04:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 18, 2024 07:39

Disillusionist: Sep 19, 2007

No Safe Word posted:

It's titled "Anthony's Class Blog" and one of the commenters on the Toxx post "peer reviewed" it and has a similar class blog and they all follow each other's "cyberculture" blogs - http://www.blogger.com/profile/13338719092522162397

Doesn't take an internet detective

e: Also The Collector found it and registered an account after the fact NOT TO CALL ANYONE OUT

That's me. I did it for a class. My analysis wasn't super-thorough because I figured nobody was going to fact-check my opinions of TFF posters.

edit: My only regret was not featuring BPP at all.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 05:19

Rogue Elephant: May 1, 2007

Disillusionist posted:

That's me. I did it for a class. My analysis wasn't super-thorough because I figured nobody was going to fact-check my opinions of TFF posters.

edit: My only regret was not featuring BPP at all.

Grittybeard did a thread for you http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3509949

Also I think that you did all this before the game that broke BBP's spirit so there's no one to blame for that really.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 05:23

Donny J: Jan 20, 2006

Rogue Elephant posted:

Grittybeard did a thread for you http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3509949

Also I think that you did all this before the game that broke BBP's spirit so there's no one to blame for that really.

Which game broke BBP? I need to know this

# ? Oct 3, 2012 05:59

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

Donny J posted:

Which game broke BBP? I need to know this

Raiders-Broncos, the one that set the penalty record.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 06:03

RembrandtQEinstein: Jul 1, 2009; A GOD, A MESSIAH, AN ARCHANGEL, A KING, A PRINCE, AND AN ALL TERRAIN VEHICLE.

Donny J posted:

Which game broke BBP? I need to know this

This'd be the one. Adaz collected these for historical purposes.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 08:02

Grozz Nuy: Feb 21, 2008; Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

Between that game and the Chargers game from Week 1 this season, BBP watching the Raiders has produced some serious magic.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 08:30

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

RembrandtQEinstein posted:

This'd be the one. Adaz collected these for historical purposes.

I contend that the game didn't break BBP, but pushed him further along in his evolution as a football fan. One day, we will all be Bob. Or Gendo.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 15:55

Arschlochkind: Mar 29, 2010

Morby posted:

That was my original assumption! Any update from them now that the game is over?

The guy responsible for the original stuff I posted hasn't said a word on there since then, but we did get this:

the Titans' SB Nation blog posted:

The Houston Texans pissed away and thoughts I may have had about the physicality and toughness of their defense by whining for the second time in four games about 'dirty play' from an opposing lineman. Unless someone gets hurt, shut up. Also, taking a swing at a guy with a helmet on is not dirty, it's stupid. So, you can say David Stewart is a stupid player for swinging on Reed and Barwin, but it's not dirty. Spearing Chris Johnson while he's already tackled? Now that's dirty. On top of that, I don't give a drat if our offensive line does get dirty from time to time. Any good O-line steps over that line on occasion. Final point: quit whining about opposing offensive lines when your own line's entire scheme is based on cut blocks and diving at knees to create running lanes.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 16:55

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

This is too fantastic to not be an amazing troll, right? I want to lay down and fornicate with this post.

c/o JetsInsider posted:

People here were incredulous last night when I suggested that Holmes might yet be faking his injury, and unfortunately I had to go to bed so I couldn't explain, but I wanted to set the record straight. First I should say, I work in the health insurance industry doing fraud investigations. You wouldn't believe some of the things people will do to fake an injury for disability payments, etc. Sometimes doctors are in on it so they can bill for nonexistent procedures, but often they're unaware.

An MRI is a useful diagnostic tool, but it can be fooled in a number of ways.

One, from an imaging point of view. The most common way to do this is to bring a fake limb into the MRI machine with you. For example, as Holmes is climbing in, he might fold his leg underneath him so it's not within the area being imaged. Then, he could place a cadaver leg (you can get these from medical supply companies) that has the desired injury into the MRI's field. Lizfranc injury you want? Lizfranc injury you have.

Two, MRI machines are controlled by computers (amazingly, often running the Windows OS). They are also networked to make sharing of images easier. Hackers can and do remotely break into an MRI machine and replace images with others, showing whatever injury they want. We had one case where a member of a hospital's IT staff was getting kickbacks to let attackers through the firewall, but that's far from the only way in. This guy's weird sense of humor got him caught when he replaced one of the images with a picture of a clown.

Three, an MRI needs to be heavily interpreted sometimes. It's not obvious like an x-ray. A sympathetic doctor could very well misdiagnose a patient while looking at an MRI, especially if the patient is complaining of symptoms consistent with a particular injury.

You really wouldn't believe what lengths people will go through. We had one guy on an AbioCor (a completely implantable artificial heart). Now, you may not be aware, but artificial hearts aren't usually sold to the patient to be implanted, they're leased, and the cost depends on how many beats per minute the patient wants. That way, those with a sedentary lifestyle don't need to spend as much as those who want to be active. Well, this one guy was an electronics wizard, and he was able to reprogram the heart (they can be wirelessly programmed from close range) to give him more beats per minute than he was entitled to. They guy literally could have been doing jumping jacks while only spending enough money to sit on a couch. And, to add insult to injury, it took almost a year to get a court order to get the heart back.

So the moral of the story is that I don't have proof that Tone is faking it, but it's not out of the realm of possibility.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:25

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Quick, someone peek in Holmes' locker room! I bet he's got dozens of spare legs in there!

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:27

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Ozu posted:

This is too fantastic to not be an amazing troll, right? I want to lay down and fornicate with this post.

That last part seriously cannot be true on like eight different levels

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:29

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

So who wants to go with to the medical supply store to pick up some human limbs? C'mon, it'll be fun.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:29

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Grittybeard posted:

So who wants to go with to the medical supply store to pick up some human limbs? C'mon, it'll be fun.

I've been digging up graves this whole time, I wish I knew it was that easy!

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:30

Supreme Allah: Oct 6, 2004; everybody relax, i'm here; Nap Ghost

Next week on HOUSE.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:31

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

I want to ask that guy if the standard procedure is to find a dead guy leg with the right injury, or just grab any random dead guy leg and then injure it.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:39

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

This is now the best poster over at JI.

quote:

I know cadaver parts must seem really exotic and hard to procure, but not so. You fill out a form, indicate a need (no proof is required, you can just write "teaching high school science class", and a few days later a FedEx truck arrives with you body parts. They're not controlled substances.

quote:

Now you're just being ridiculous, there's no way to tell skin color on an MRI, the leg could be from any race.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:45

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Boy I sure am glad the insurance companies have crack investigators like him to determine whether or not my claim is valid!

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:47

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Ozu posted:

This is now the best poster over at JI.

I am so tempted to try order me up some human legs now. No joke.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 20:55

MD2020: May 30, 2003; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Kiwi Bigtree posted:

I am so tempted to try order me up some human legs now. No joke.

http://www.wegotussomemedicalwaste.com/

# ? Oct 3, 2012 21:02

swickles: Aug 21, 2006; I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

Hahaha, that guy is so full of poo poo, its not even funny.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 21:10

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

"I could get you a toe by 3PM Dude, with nail polish"

edit: vvv He's totally got an uncle who works at Nintendo too

whypick1 fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Oct 3, 2012

# ? Oct 3, 2012 21:11

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

He's like a 10 year old lying and having no concept of how to extract himself from it once he realizes how loving stupid what he's saying is.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 21:12

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

My jaw just dropped halfway through that post and it's still stuck. I can't eat now. Thanks, Jets.

# ? Oct 3, 2012 21:25

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

Boy, y'all are gonna look real dumb when he turns out to be right.

Actually, I love that image. Some grizzled, unshaven old insurance fraud investigator, sitting in a dark room, lit cigarette clenched between his teeth as he types away, half empty bottle of cheap scotch sitting beside him. If only we knew the sort of crazy poo poo he's seen in his day, we'd never be the same.

# ? Oct 4, 2012 05:19

Serisothikos: Dec 4, 2004; Unlimited Pasta Pass

MD2020 posted:

http://www.wegotussomemedicalwaste.com/

Nice, picked up a spare brain and a few assorted abdominal cavity organs

# ? Oct 4, 2012 13:47

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

Sports, misunderstood science, and conspiracies are the perfect unholy union to forge the greatest of internet posts.

# ? Oct 4, 2012 13:52

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Hey guys legs arrived. Should I upload an unboxing video onto Youtube or would that be morbid?

# ? Oct 4, 2012 13:53

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

I'm putting a clause in my will that when I die, all of my body parts are to be used by professional athletes in complex injury faking schemes except for my head which is to be preserved and mounted on a body that is used in underground fights against the preserved body of Jeremy Bentham while people shake money around in an incomprehensible betting system.

# ? Oct 4, 2012 14:52

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

R.D. Mangles posted:

I'm putting a clause in my will that when I die, all of my body parts are to be used by professional athletes in complex injury faking schemes except for my head which is to be preserved and mounted on a body that is used in underground fights against the preserved body of Jeremy Bentham while people shake money around in an incomprehensible betting system.

Donate my ribs to Michael Vick
My brain to Colt McCoy
My knees to Brian Urlacher
My dick to Big Ben

# ? Oct 4, 2012 14:57

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

Kiwi Bigtree posted:

My dick to Big Ben

Careful, legally I think that'd make you an accomplice.

# ? Oct 4, 2012 15:36

Serisothikos: Dec 4, 2004; Unlimited Pasta Pass

Kiwi Bigtree posted:

Hey guys legs arrived. Should I upload an unboxing video onto Youtube or would that be morbid?

"My stomach sank. Opening a shipment of medical waste is a religious experience. It�s one of the best things about the first day with your shiny new limbs. He took that from me. I felt like this sales rep had stolen from me."

# ? Oct 5, 2012 00:18

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

Has LSU ever lost a game that wasn't Miles' fault? posted:

I'm trying to think of a game where the players just didn't execute, we had too many turnovers, penalties, and the TEAM lost.

Or have our last 4 losses in three seasons all been on Miles?

If so, if all 4 losses were on Miles, how many of those 30 wins can we credit him with?

How many times has he put this team in a position to win and they came through?

Compare that, just for kicks, to how many games Saban lost in that same time period, and which were due to coaching

# ? Oct 8, 2012 01:17

The Collector: Aug 9, 2011; I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
Rats raining down in the night during the Stanley Cup finals.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.; Pillbug

http://www.raiderfans.net/forum/oakland-raiders-forum-message-board/192713-talked-al-davis-today.html

sea of hands posted:

I took a "pill" this morning and in 45 minutes I magically appeared in football heaven. I followed the "trails" to a hole-in-the-wall mexican joint where I saw Al sitting at a table with Halas and Lombardi. The table was litered with empty Coronas. Al had a Chile Relleno combo plate in front of him and seemed anxious to dig in. When he saw me he said: "Do you love the Raydahs, my son??" To which I replied: "Almost as much as you do". He went into an epic rant on the state of the Raiders. Here are the highlights:

"If that dumb azz son of mine fvcks things up, I'm gonna kick him in his sorry azz when I see him"
"Fvcken McKenzie needs to grow a sack and stop crying about the cap and the lack of draft picks"
"We need corners. Why did McKenzie let Routt go?? He's a great playah"
"The coaches need to get the front line to bring the pressure on the pocket like real Raiders do. Blitzing is for pvssies who can't dominate with their front four".
"We need to get the ball downfield to stretch the secondary. That's why we can't get any action in the intermediate passing game".
"What's with this zone blocking sh!t?? The OL has got to dominate the opposing DL and let DMac burst with a head of steam"
"Who the fvck let that b!tch Knapp back into the building??"

Lombardi and Halas didn't have much to say. Whenever Al mentioned something about the Raiders, Lombardi would shout: "What the hells going on out here??" Halas said very little except to mention that the beers were giving him heartburn.

Al closed the conversation by saying: "Don't worry, my son. The Greatness of the Raydahs is in it's Future

erod20 posted:

Love it bro !!!!! Btw where did u get that pill???

sea of hands posted:

The code of the streets says I cannot give up my source/supplier, especially on the internet. Meet me at the Jax game and I'll kick you a freebee. Wouldn't that be a fun ride???

raidersfans.txt

cheapshotartist posted:

Al (RIP) ain't in football heaven he conned the Devil into giving him control of 90% of hell. He plans to move it to the North Pole.

The one good post. RIP Al. :unsmith:

# ? Oct 13, 2012 14:01

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

Are raiders fans really posting about acid trips they take in which they discuss football with former legends who appear to have strange speech impediments?

# ? Oct 13, 2012 16:41

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

AAA DOLFAN posted:

Are raiders fans really posting about acid trips they take in which they discuss football with former legends who appear to have strange speech impediments?

If you ever visit the Bay Area I can take you through Oakland/Richmond and we can hit up a few house parties.

# ? Oct 13, 2012 17:04

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

AAA DOLFAN posted:

Are raiders fans really posting about acid trips they take in which they discuss football with former legends who appear to have strange speech impediments?

You seem surprised. That sounds like the most Raider-like activity I can think of.

# ? Oct 13, 2012 17:10

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

Chichevache posted:

If you ever visit the Bay Area I can take you through Oakland/Richmond and we can hit up a few house parties.

Only if you can guarantee I'll see Don Shula floating on a cloud while playing ping pong with Dan Marino and Lamar Thomas.

# ? Oct 13, 2012 17:12

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

AAA DOLFAN posted:

Only if you can guarantee I'll see Don Shula floating on a cloud while playing ping pong with Dan Marino and Lamar Thomas.

When did Dan Marino die?

# ? Oct 13, 2012 17:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 18, 2024 07:39

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

None of those people are dead.

# ? Oct 13, 2012 17:24

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Horrible Football Posts From Other Football Forums

«‹›91 »