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I am thoroughly convinced that the ANA recruits the most retarded members of society for the sole purpose of being bullet sponges.
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Jan 6, 2013 07:47
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That's a pretty hosed up way to get your 72 virgins...sacrificing yourself by joining the ANA to make the other side look good.
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Jan 6, 2013 07:53
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Heh. How many rounds does it take to get a 249 to cook rounds off? Like I'm imagining multiple belts here.
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Jan 6, 2013 07:55
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Not that many during the summer, those barrels will get hot enough in the sun to burn the poo poo out of your hand. The way they told me the story, they were giving the range brief, dude started popping them off, by the time they got to the truck and pulled him off the 249 was doing its own thing.
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Jan 6, 2013 08:15
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Pudgygiant posted:Not that many during the summer, those barrels will get hot enough in the sun to burn the poo poo out of your hand. The way they told me the story, they were giving the range brief, dude started popping them off, by the time they got to the truck and pulled him off the 249 was doing its own thing. I'm pretty sure 249 runaway gun conditions are caused by bad sears, generally. A cook off in the receiver would detonate the round and explode the case. Although, who knows? Crazy poo poo happens all the time.
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Jan 6, 2013 08:32
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You're probably right but I like it my way better 
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Jan 6, 2013 08:38
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Veins McGee posted:I'm pretty sure 249 runaway gun conditions are caused by bad sears, generally. A cook off in the receiver would detonate the round and explode the case. More than likely it was hot rounds, aka lowest bidder ammunition.
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Jan 6, 2013 08:45
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Pudgygiant posted:This just happened about an hour ago. I'm a contractor supporting an advisory team in Afghanistan right now. The ANA unit they advise asked for a Harris radio so they can talk to our TOC when they're on patrol. This is a pretty big gently caress-no because they're hugely sensitive items. Of course these are all 1LTs advising ANA COLs and poo poo, so they can't exactly say "gently caress no", so they say "The radios come as part of the M-ATVs", thinking that will kill it. Of course it doesn't, this goddamn retard Afgahn COL says "Oh... can we have a M-ATV then?" Watch your back and keep frosty out there.
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Jan 6, 2013 09:33
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Pudgygiant posted:This just happened about an hour ago. I'm a contractor supporting an advisory team in Afghanistan right now. The ANA unit they advise asked for a Harris radio so they can talk to our TOC when they're on patrol. This is a pretty big gently caress-no because they're hugely sensitive items. Of course these are all 1LTs advising ANA COLs and poo poo, so they can't exactly say "gently caress no", so they say "The radios come as part of the M-ATVs", thinking that will kill it. Of course it doesn't, this goddamn retard Afgahn COL says "Oh... can we have a M-ATV then?" If I remember correctly, we were in the same unit during our 2008 deployment. If so, 3/29 was full of mouthbreathers, and I challenge you to compare the two units. I remember being on QRF and needing to do patrols inside our living areas at zero-gently caress-thirty for the explicit purpose of being a nanny and making sure people weren't abusing drugs or whatever. ~*~MEMORIES~*~ (fortunately for me, my top and battery commander were the bee's knees.)
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Jan 9, 2013 16:02
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I had to archives search but yeah, we were, I forgot about that. Who was Peaches and Cream? I can't remember his name, he did some really special things. Hopefully not you, I'd feel like a dick. But really I'd say him and Schrader would be relatively smart ANA soldiers.
Pudgygiant fucked around with this message at 07:51 on Jan 10, 2013 |
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Jan 10, 2013 05:25
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Pudgygiant posted:I had to archives search but yeah, we were, I forgot about that. Who was Peaches and Cream? I can't remember his name, he did some really special things. Hopefully not you, I'd feel like a dick. But really I'd say him and Schrader would be relatively smart ANA soldiers. You're talking about the dudw who hosed a peach on radio guard, right? I forget his name too, but holy poo poo. He got busted down a rank for going to a pisser followed by the chow hall with his dick still hanging out of his pants. Amazing. The sad thing is that he was in alpha, I was in hhb, and I [I]still[I] know all about his dumb poo poo verbatim and without hyperbole. One time at Carson, dude was hanging out with one of my Joe's (an idiot all by his own right) after being restricted to the battalion area. One of our team leaders caught him climbing in and out of our Joe's window in a ninja suit. Instead of at least bullshitting his way through, he freely admitted to trying to sneak off post. I don't know what happened after that, but I assume that this was one incident out of many to start Operation Risky Business by the CSM. Good times. I have a poo poo ton more stories about that unit, as I stayed in that BDE my entire career.
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Jan 10, 2013 12:44
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Snowdens Secret posted:Depending on where you are and what's been going on toilet water can be one of your more reliable sources of safe potable water (get it from the tank, not the bowl, of course)
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Jan 10, 2013 22:24
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And a Green Beans within 100 yards
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Jan 11, 2013 01:36
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We have an SH2(e5) with gold chevrons because he's so stupid, people feel bad for punishing him. He got fired from work center supervisor, then he got fired from doing laundry, so they just made him do all the valve maintenance. So of course, during rimpac, in the middle of the night, he manages to shut off half of combat systems, and all of EW by shutting a single valve, getting all autistic about it, and walking away. I'm almost convinced that he's a Chinese spy.
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Jan 14, 2013 13:38
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wirebiter posted:We have an SH2(e5) with gold chevrons because he's so stupid, people feel bad for punishing him. On my last ship we had an LS2 with gold chevrons who was literally the oldest person onboard the ship. Older than the crustiest LDO, the CO/XO, and the CMC by like 4-5 years more than the oldest of the bunch.
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Jan 14, 2013 14:32
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We had a CS2 (cook e-5) who was the oldest person on the ship. He still had to abide by lower enlisted curfew and he was older than the captain.
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Jan 14, 2013 17:57
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That's ok. He probably spits in the old man's soup. 
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Jan 14, 2013 20:28
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I didn't know E-5 with a gold crow was even possible.
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Jan 14, 2013 22:56
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Tis guy in my shop is on his way. Especially since he just got a P eval, proving that the Navy doesn't gently caress everything up after all.
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Jan 14, 2013 23:01
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elsanto posted:I didn't know E-5 with a gold crow was even possible. You used to be able to retire at e-5. Now they hit HYT well before then, but depending on circumstances it's quite possible to be a double gold warrior.
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Jan 14, 2013 23:36
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Can someone explain this Navy gold cheveron thing to a dumb grunt?
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Jan 15, 2013 01:07
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bulletsponge13 posted:Can someone explain this Navy gold cheveron thing to a dumb grunt? if you are e4-e9 and have i think 12 years of service (might be continuous) your chevrons on some uniforms are gold instead of red someone else can sperg on the details but those are the basics
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Jan 15, 2013 01:21
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12 years continuous good conduct in the navy means that you get to wear gold instead of silver/red chevrons on your collar/sleeve. I've never seen them at E4 (probably was back before the current HYT setup) but you see plenty of E6s and a handful of E5s with them.
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Jan 15, 2013 02:16
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Mr. Nice! posted:12 years continuous good conduct in the navy means that you get to wear gold instead of silver/red chevrons on your collar/sleeve. I've never seen them at E4 (probably was back before the current HYT setup) but you see plenty of E6s and a handful of E5s with them. do you have me on ignore or something homo
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Jan 15, 2013 02:17
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genderstomper58 posted:do you have me on ignore or something Nah, I'm just the guy sperging some more about the specifics. It's the 12 years consecutive good conduct that really matters. No masts or court martials.
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Jan 15, 2013 02:18
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Previous CMC had red chevrons. And then he got busted for a DUI and force-retired.
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Jan 15, 2013 11:06
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That's the enlisted life.
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Jan 15, 2013 12:44
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Should have gotten force-MCPON'd.
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Jan 15, 2013 12:46
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This thread took a turn for the worse.
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Jan 23, 2013 09:34
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Coming up with stuff for the O_o thread has reminded me of some good ones that are probably a better fit for this thread. Surprisingly despite being possibly the biggest gently caress up I'd seen in the military he's the only guy who's name I can't remember so we'll go with Lard rear end or "LA" for short. I'd been in Tech school for a few months at this point and just by virtue of being there so long you kind of at least get the feeling of having some seniority so when my buddy told me he was getting a new roommate we were both excited at the prospect of scaring the poo poo out of some 18 year old airman fresh off the bus from Lackland. When my buddy opened his door we see this sweaty (it's winter and the window was open) fat as gently caress kind of older dude standing in the middle of the room holding one of the day room fans and are immediately greeted with him saying "hey I just stole this don't tell anyone". I quickly and quietly leave the room while my buddy just stands there jaw agape. One of the most obvious things about LA was that he was a Senior Airman... in a tech school dorm. Turns out he had completed his tech school and had been living with his wife off base but by the time he had hit his third DUI I guess someone in his chain of command was at their wits end since they saw fit to put him in the student dorms of all the places they could have put him. As you could imagine someone with three DUI's would be kind of a wreck and LA was no exception, he was constantly drunk or high and was always wandering the halls creeping people out. His preferred method of creeping was to just wander the halls asking people if they wanted to "watch Joe Dirt" but being old, creepy, and drunk he didn't get very many takers. After not being able to find anyone after a couple of weeks he randomly wakes my buddy up around 0200 and tells him " we ARE going to watch Joe Dirt" and proceeds to tear the room apart looking for a copy of a movie it turns out he doesn't own while my buddy huddled in a corner confused as gently caress. I have a few more stories about LA that all culminate into his part of one weekend I don't think anyone who was there will ever forget.
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Jan 25, 2013 04:11
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there is a soldier in my class who was in the gulf war. he is legit like 50 years old. he is a corporal. how does this happen.
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Jan 25, 2013 20:35
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brains posted:there is a soldier in my class who was in the gulf war. he is legit like 50 years old. he is a corporal. how does this happen. Could have gotten busted multiple times. I've seen it happen.
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Jan 25, 2013 20:46
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brains posted:there is a soldier in my class who was in the gulf war. he is legit like 50 years old. he is a corporal. how does this happen. Maybe he had a long break in service.
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Jan 25, 2013 21:42
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I always laugh when I see a combat patch, CIB, Air Assault, Airborne, and Pathfinder on an E2.
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Jan 25, 2013 22:13
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funny, i always compulsively vomit when i hear a slick sleeve E-8 or 9 speak
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Jan 25, 2013 23:47
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brains posted:funny, i always compulsively vomit when i hear a slick sleeve E-8 or 9 speak Nice MSM with your GWOT-S, 'sir'. Did you lose your sea service ribbon? Oh... I see.
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Jan 26, 2013 00:43
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brains posted:there is a soldier in my class who was in the gulf war. he is legit like 50 years old. he is a corporal. how does this happen. Did the gulf war as guard, or got out and back in? I've seen a few guys who had a break in service, and came from the marines so they have a dive bubble and halo wings as an E-4.
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Jan 26, 2013 15:02
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Speaking of the ANA, we had ANASF on our vsp my last deployment. These dudes are supposed to be the best of the best of the ANA, they have to be a commando then are supposedly hand picked to become ANASF. We had a pistol range for them when the ANASF teams switched out so we could evaluate their ability to hit absolutely nothing. About 3 iterations into it, two of the ANASF started fighting while they had hammer back, one in the chamber pistols in their hands. I'm talking like middle school, I have no idea how to throw a punch fighting. This was right in the middle of all the green on blues so all of us were already on edge being around a new ANASF team. We had some infantry dudes in the tower with mark 48s (like a SAW but shoots 7.62) and they were about to light up the whole team but the ANASF team chief went over and started slapping the poo poo out of both of them and took their pistols. He was the only dude on that team that wasn't completely retarded.
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Jan 26, 2013 15:29
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We had what our Company command decided to call a "disciplinary incident" about a month before deploying to Iraq. An NCO, I'll call him SGT Snuffy, was on CQ on a Friday night when his buddies were having a "Getting Deployed Again" party. About 2200, he left the CQ desk in the care of his runner to change and go join the party. He left about three hours later, having drunk himself to the gills, and drove back to his place of duty. On the way, he proceeded to hit three parked cars, managed to avoid two different police vehicles, and got stopped when he tried to come in the gate. The gate guards got him out and he blew over twice the legal limit. Genius tried to tell the MPs it was all a misunderstanding.
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Jan 27, 2013 06:39
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doogle posted:Speaking of the ANA, we had ANASF on our vsp my last deployment. These dudes are supposed to be the best of the best of the ANA, they have to be a commando then are supposedly hand picked to become ANASF. We had a pistol range for them when the ANASF teams switched out so we could evaluate their ability to hit absolutely nothing. About 3 iterations into it, two of the ANASF started fighting while they had hammer back, one in the chamber pistols in their hands. I'm talking like middle school, I have no idea how to throw a punch fighting. This was right in the middle of all the green on blues so all of us were already on edge being around a new ANASF team. We had some infantry dudes in the tower with mark 48s (like a SAW but shoots 7.62) and they were about to light up the whole team but the ANASF team chief went over and started slapping the poo poo out of both of them and took their pistols. He was the only dude on that team that wasn't completely retarded. I saw two Iraqi SF dudes get in a shoving/slapping match over who was going to man a crew served weapon (I wanna say PKM, but really don't remember) in the makeshift turret, muzzle swinging wildly all over the place. I was pretty sure it wasn't loaded because there was no belt present and I was inside of a small FOB, but I still tossed my cigarette and went inside behind a few concrete block walls, just in case. Entire country acts like loving 12 year olds, ridiculous.
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Jan 27, 2013 20:34
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