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In Which Vacuum Encounters the Harsh Light of Reality I've been debating whether or not I'm even going to talk about this, because it is very personal and sad, but it's an important part of the story. Just before my senior year of high school, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My whole life changed, obviously. It was my first real encounter with my own mortality. It was a lot to deal with for someone who was clearly already relied heavily on fantastical coping mechanisms. But, it was a moment of clarity in my rejection of my own self-delusion. In the world of Anne Rice vampires I had set up in my head, having an autoimmune disease didn't make any sense. The literature was unclear on whether I could be cured with ~magic vampire blood~, and for all of my Lestat obsession, I still didn't want to be turned into a vampire. I imagined that even if Lestat was real and out there somewhere, I was now out of the running because of my disease. And so, suddenly and without much fanfare, I accepted that the Lestat I was writing to wasn't real. But I still enjoyed writing to him, knowing I was playing pretend. Devious Vacuum, age 17 posted:I'm having trouble with this "poem" thing, which is weird for me. I'm too distracted! This is your fault. If you weren't so completely perfect and alluring then I might be able to concentrate. I'm seriously having an episode over here. I'm gonna lose it if I can't touch you. This sucks! I'm tired of it! At this point I knew it wasn't real and that I was using Lestat as a coping mechanism, but I still really needed it. I needed an imaginary world where good things were finally happening to me. It's not that many bad things were happening, it was just, like I wrote, I was in that stagnant period between finishing high school and starting college. I also felt like kind of a freak now that I had to give myself shots, and eventually I would have an insulin pump also. No one else in my school of 2000 kids had diabetes, and the only kids that really had anything seriously physically wrong with them were in special education classes. I had a deep, dark fear that no one besides my family would ever love me except out of pity. And then, I think, I took a turn for the worse, and believed in Lestat again. I don't have a strong memory of those days, and reading the diary entries didn't really help me determine whether I truly believed or not. But I would understand if I did believe in him again. I found this entry, which is particularly dark: Devious Vacuum, age 18 posted:Why haven't you killed me yet? There's no other use for me here. I'm just some narcissistic, diseased little wannabe who thinks she's got depth and wisdom but gets the life squashed out of her every time she acts like it. Why do I even bother with you? You probably won't ever come. You don't love me because of my disease. No one will ever love me because of my disease. They'll like me, sure, for my brains and my looks, but, oh, you have a pump hooked up to you? Gross! Eww! Yeah, I'll mooch test scores off of you, but I sure as hell won't get in bed with you. That's just unnatural. I might as well get it over with now. What's the use of trying to make something of myself, if no one will ever judge me for what I'm worth? I could have all the money and power in the world, but I'll never be appreciated. And when my parents die, my brother and I will move apart and I'll have no one. I'll die alone. So what's the point in trying anymore? Let me assure all of you real quick that I am now 24 and I do not feel this way at all anymore!! I just felt at the time that having an insulin pump was like this huge physical deformity, but it didn't take me long after going to college to realize that it really isn't that noticeable. Ack, now I'm entering the strange world of "disease politics" where I feel the need to compare my diabetes to other diseases to illustrate that I know I don't have the worst disease even though I have a serious disease. Just, you know what I mean. I'm fine now. I promise. I didn't remember writing this, so it hit me pretty hard to read this. This is the part that you don't see when serious things happen to people around you, I guess. I never imagined killing myself or anything like that! It helped, though, to just write and say things out loud that were awful and self-pitying, just to get it out my system. If I had said these things to anyone else, they would have been really worried about me, and my parents were freaking out enough as it was. I remember I bought a purse at a thrift store that ended up having a pill in one of the pockets, and my parents accused me of being "on drugs" because I was depressed about my diabetes. I would never do anything like that. To continue the story, some time around starting college, I went back to accepting that Lestat was a coping mechanism again. As I continued in my degree, made accomplishments, got good grades, I needed him less and less. I stopped writing to him. I started drawing comics about my own characters to illustrate things I had learned about myself and about life. I guess I just grew up and finally got enough confidence to not have to lean on him anymore. I still liked imagining being with him, in dreams and fantasies, even though I knew none of it was real. It was just a for-fun fantasy, the same as fantasizing about a movie star or something like that. He became this "ideal man" fantasy that was obviously not a reflection of Lestat the actual character. I would think about him often after a break-up. But I was excited about the future and meeting someone who would finally replace that Lestat fantasy with a real man that I would be in love with. But I'll talk about that next time. For anyone who got sad from reading this post, have this amazing lovely fanart to make you feel better:  Remember when saying something "owns" was a thing we would say EDIT: Whoa, new page. Um. Yeah. Devious Vacuum fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Jan 13, 2013 |
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Jan 13, 2013 19:59
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VoodooSchmoodoo posted:Hamilton is infamous for reusing the same bad phrases over and over again. One of the porn ones was something like 'and then she rolled her eyes up at him' and I just had this vision of Ms Blake removing her eyeballs and rolling them like in a craps game during a tender moment. I was an early fan of hers, then I got tired of playing "Who is Anita going to gently caress next, and how many of them?" Back on topic, the repeating phrase that finally pissed me off was "Anita... So tight... So wet..." or something like that. I mean I can see the whole "So wet" thing but after all the enormous penii in her, there's no way she can be tight. Anywhere. She is rather nice, as I have met her (and have a couple early Anita books autographed), but her husband is a skinny, short little redheaded guy with black painted fingernails and a pony tail, so I suspect she is getting paid for publishing a whole lot of wish fufillment.
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Jan 13, 2013 21:45
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Devious Vacuum posted:In Which Vacuum Encounters the Harsh Light of Reality This is amazing and I love you.
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Jan 13, 2013 23:56
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Devious Vacuum posted:
This owns 
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Jan 14, 2013 01:38
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Oh man, I can definitely oblige that! Here are some things I took pics of while I was at home: An actual quote from The Vampire Lestat  These were earlier, you can tell because they are in black and white  Lestat's 80s band  ...and I'll look and see if I have anything else on my external hard drive.
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Jan 14, 2013 02:52
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Things I Had On My External Hard Drive: * A bunch of individual panels saved * Townsend! A tale of Lestat threatening Stuart Townsend after The Queen of the Damned movie came out * Anne Rice/Harry Potter Crossover Fancomic Where Lestat gives Voldemort a makeover * Pictures I drew of The Vampire Lestat as I re-read it in college and was mortified by it I would love to share all of these things. What would be a good way of linking y'all to a 20+ page comic? Should I make an account on Photobucket or something? Suggestions?
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Jan 14, 2013 03:37
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I think an Imgur gallery would work pretty well for a 20-plus-page comic. Man, this really makes me want to find a Zip drive and see about breaking into my own high-school archives, which are all on Zip discs (remember when Zip discs were the best things going?). I know there are terrible nuggets of teenage nerdity and awfulness in there, although unfortunately I never had an imaginary boyfriend. (I had a long-distance Internet boyfriend, but he did technically exist.)
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Jan 14, 2013 04:13
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I'm on imgur! Woo! I got some great pictures for you guys.bringmyfishback posted:This is amazing and I love you. bringmyfishback, do you remember, THE TRAGIC RABBIT??  I don't have the books with me, but someone needs to post that poem. It's at the beginning of The Vampire Lestat if memory serves.
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Jan 14, 2013 05:45
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Devious Vacuum posted:I'm on imgur! Woo! I got some great pictures for you guys. Is it this one? Good gravy, it's literally dripping with pathos and your picture scares me and I want to be friends.
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Jan 14, 2013 11:50
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Good morning thread! Are you bored at work today? Have this stupid comic I drew when I was 16 and totally believed in the vampire conspiracy: Some important notes: * I'M SORRY IT'S HARD TO READ! I can read it okay on my monitor, it might help some of y'all to zoom in maybe? * It may surprise you that I actually had a sense of humor when I drew this stuff. * The vampire that is not Louis is David Talbot, who becomes a vampire later in the series. He was pretty okay I guess. * I apologize for implying that Aaliyah was assassinated by vampires for playing Akasha.
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Jan 14, 2013 17:48
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This thread... I just finished reading it, after 3 weeks of obsession interrupted by work, life and sleeping. I have a quick story to share, for the sake of chronology and also because the stories I have starring yet another interstellar dragon otherkin are longer. I had no idea there was another, let alone more than one, person like him. Nor have I ever heard the term 'otherkin' until this thread.Furprise! When I was about 17 or so, I played D&D, Werewolf: The Apocalypse and Vampire the Masquerade. I had made a cool group of normal-seeming, functional geeks whom I role played with on Friday nights. The D&D game we had been playing came to an end, but my boyfriend at the time had another set of friends who ran regular Werewolf sessions and I was invited to join them. These people were new to me, but were actually the friends of his older sister, and they were all very friendly, so we quickly got a game started. Now, I was driving at the time, and my mother was divorced and working the night shift, so I frequently stayed at friends’ houses overnight, with or without permission. One night we role played until 3 or 4 in the morning, so my bf and I crashed in their apartment on the floor. I’m an early riser, so I woke up the next morning and found some comic books to read until the rest of the house was awake. They were about some college students who just happened to be drawn like animals (fake edit: Associated Student Bodies. Somehow that was burned into my memory). There were some explicit sex scenes, frequently gay, but nothing 17yo me couldn’t handle. A week or two later, I also happened to learn that one of these friends was making animal suits. I thought that was strange, but I never connected the dots. (I’ve always been fairly oblivious to/in any social situation) I graduated high school in 2000. In 2002, MTV’s Sex2K, “Plushies and Furries,” came out. I remember sitting on my friend’s couch, both of us bored, and it came on the screen.  My jaw hit the floor, and the above story came out of my mouth… I’d never been so horrified (though surely have been more so since then, especially after reading this thread), and I’m not sure my friend has ever laughed so hard. I have had no contact with that group since. Seems I obliviously walked right past the rabbit hole. Or not...(see below) Still to come: Interstellar Dragon Therapist (unrelated to any previous interstellar dragon) “I Eat Gemstones” Of Elves and Men Return of the Furries
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Jan 14, 2013 20:16
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Considering how many nerdy things I like and have liked in my life, I'm surprised yet thankful that I never encountered any furries. I really want to know why the dragon therapist was also interstellar! Don't slow down now, thread! I HAVE SO MUCH CONTENT FOR YOU: By far the most embarrassing single panel I have saved...  Some things are better without explanation.  It's ANNE!  This one's probably funnier if you read the books.  AND FINALLY:  Let me know if any of the imgur album links don't work you guys. I wanted to make them hidden because, well, come on.
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Jan 15, 2013 21:06
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That last one with the car is pretty sick.
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Jan 16, 2013 02:39
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I like that someone graffiti'd "AWESOME CAR SHOT" on the side of the building.
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Jan 16, 2013 02:47
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I have never read or seen the Anne Rice series and everybody looks like a female to me, especially the blonde one (which is Lestat I guess?). Is that intentional?
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Jan 16, 2013 04:54
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Jeek posted:I have never read or seen the Anne Rice series and everybody looks like a female to me, especially the blonde one (which is Lestat I guess?). Is that intentional? Depends what you mean by intentional! I mean, they're male, but I did consciously draw everyone's lips, which makes them look female I think. At the time I didn't want them to be women, but I did want them to look pretty, I guess? It was my "style" at the time.
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Jan 16, 2013 05:43
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I realize there's a lot of stuff that one could pick apart about Vacuum's old comics, but the part that sticks with me is "The Man/The Legend" shirt. All vampires in Anne Rice's books are impotent, so Lestat is apparently legendarily floppy-cocked.
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Jan 16, 2013 05:58
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Devious Vacuum posted:Depends what you mean by intentional! I mean, they're male, but I did consciously draw everyone's lips, which makes them look female I think. At the time I didn't want them to be women, but I did want them to look pretty, I guess? It was my "style" at the time. The gender confusion is probably amplified by the fact that in the "By far the most embarrassing single panel I have saved..." Lestat looks like he has a bit of a curve.
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Jan 16, 2013 05:59
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Dick Burglar posted:I realize there's a lot of stuff that one could pick apart about Vacuum's old comics, but the part that sticks with me is "The Man/The Legend" shirt. All vampires in Anne Rice's books are impotent, so Lestat is apparently legendarily floppy-cocked. I remember reading somewhere that Anne Rice vampires were actually supposed to have perma-boners. It went over my head when I originally read the books. Man now you are making me talk about vampire boners. Why you gotta go and do that.
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Jan 16, 2013 06:02
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Devious Vacuum posted:I remember reading somewhere that Anne Rice vampires were actually supposed to have perma-boners. It went over my head when I originally read the books. Man now you are making me talk about vampire boners. Why you gotta go and do that. Hm, that does sound vaguely familiar. I might be mixing them up with White Wolf vampires now. Damnit, why do I know anything about vampire dicks?
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Jan 16, 2013 06:04
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Dick Burglar posted:Hm, that does sound vaguely familiar. I might be mixing them up with White Wolf vampires now. Damnit, why do I know anything about vampire dicks? It was in an RPG so it's ok maybe? I know why you know that though. In Vampire: Bloodlines ~ The Masquerade, Smiling Jack (or whatever that bad rear end biker vamp's name is) tells you your pecker doesn't peck no more. Then it's brought up a few more times later in the game as you meet random vamp chicks.
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Jan 16, 2013 06:08
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Turtlicious posted:It was in an RPG so it's ok maybe? Not if you're a girl vampire.  Vamp chicks can still sex as much as they want.
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Jan 16, 2013 06:12
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Corridor posted:Not if you're a girl vampire. I thought you could if had a blood binge before hand.
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Jan 16, 2013 06:14
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Dude I don't know, do we really need a de-rail about whether vampires can gently caress or not?
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Jan 16, 2013 06:47
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Turtlicious posted:Dude I don't know, do we really need a de-rail about whether vampires can gently caress or not? If there was any thread that could do it, it would be this one! Personally I'm on the side of a vampire being able to get it up after a feeding.
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Jan 16, 2013 08:04
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Just spend the better half of a week reading through all 144 pages of this thread, was not disappointed. This thread alone was worth my my 
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Jan 16, 2013 08:42
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treiz01 posted:If there was any thread that could do it, it would be this one! You can see why bright-red-faced Eastern European peasants coming back from the grave to pork their wives never caught on as a hot hot fantasy with lonely weird teenagers though.
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Jan 16, 2013 10:41
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Runcible Cat posted:Folklorically, they have permanent erections. (It's a common side-effect of decomposition, apparently.) If I'm correct it was quite common for widows to claim that's why they were up the spout after the husband had shuffled of.
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Jan 16, 2013 10:46
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Guys, the answer's so obvious -- we've seen it in this thread a thousand times. Clearly vampires, like such noted creatures of the night as Severus Snape and Vegeta, have sex with mortals via the astral plane! I mean, duh.
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Jan 16, 2013 10:55
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THE CLEAR ANSWER IS THEY ALL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME BECAUSE I AM THE VAMPIRE QUEEN ONLY NO ONE KNOWS IT. UGH.
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Jan 16, 2013 11:50
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Antivehicular posted:Guys, the answer's so obvious -- we've seen it in this thread a thousand times. Clearly vampires, like such noted creatures of the night as Severus Snape and Vegeta, have sex with mortals via the astral plane! I mean, duh. I agree with this hypothesis. Also I thought that the Anne Rice vampires were meant to be floppy, but for some awful reason I'm now genuinely curious about what the  real deal is. But not quite curious enough to have it in my browser search history.
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Jan 16, 2013 13:15
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moerketid posted:Also I thought that the Anne Rice vampires were meant to be floppy, but for some awful reason I'm now genuinely curious about what the  way.
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Jan 16, 2013 13:36
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Sorry to break from the floppy vampire discussion going on. But it is a comfort to me that there are people out there that have experienced a similar thing to what I'm going through right now and I'm not just some minority case. I'd heard about people on the internet saying that villains from various different forms of media were in love with them and they had a harem with them or something (If memory serves they're called soulbinders or bonders or something to that effect) but then I got involved with someone who took it a step further and made up her own people to fall in love with her. I shan't post their name, or how I first met her. Since it's over the internet it would probably be a little too easy to track them down, I'd rather spare them that (Since it would mean having to deal with the aftermath) So instead I'll call her "Kry" or "K" for short. This first part is pretty dark, the proper crazy comes later, but I feel to tell the story you have to know where she's coming from. Also note I'm not trying to make fun of her, that kind of happens naturally with this stuff. I just need to share this with someone. I'll admit, mostly for selfish reasons I guess (sympathy and I guess recognition for trying to help her. Try as I might I'm not perfect) but also to get it off my chest. I've been heavily involved in this for roughly two years and its taken its toll. Feel free to make fun of me if you feel it necessary. It seems only fair  The Beginning K didn't have the best life, her father had walked out on her and her mum at some point and that had damaged her. Combine that with a lack of friends and siblings (she's an only child) growing up, several abusive relationships, being diagnosed with clinical depression (Something to do with an imbalance of chemicals in the brain) and a bad taste in who to make friends with when she did make some, did the rest. I'd known her for a while before any of the crazy stuff started happening, we'd collaborated on a few projects and so had a passing friendship. The first time I saw a little of what was happing inside her head was when she was sexually assaulted. This is about... 3.5-4 years ago. I think I just happened to be around when she needed someone, so the first thing I know she's contacting me on messenger and saying she needs to talk to me. Being nice I agreed and booted up skype to find her in tears. Jesus I wasn't prepared for any of it. I'm not saying it was harder on me then it was on her, that would be rear end retarded. I'm saying I was just some dumb friendly kid who'd never really had to deal with anyone else's problems. I did my best, tried to comfort her, find out what had happened, find out how I could help. We live in completely different countries, so it's not like I could get a bus to hers and make sure she'd be okay. At the time I remember feeling powerless and useless, so I started trying to take her mind off it. Keep her busy and focused on other things, played games with her, talked, played guitar to her while she sang. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, it certainly didn't seem like much but apparently it helped. I think I spent three weeks spending all my spare time between uni and sleeping making sure she was okay. It was during this time that I got my first encounter with "The Others". The first one I met called herself Duchess, I didn't realise anything was amiss at first, this is about two weeks into the comforting. K was speaking deeper then normal, huskier. I'd assumed she'd picked up a cold, when it rains it pours... then this happened: Me- "You okay Kry?" K- "Hmm?" Me- "You sound like you're coming down with a cold" K- "I'm not Kry" Me- "pardon?" K- "Kry was taken to sleep, so I stepped in to cover for her" Me(not getting it)- "oh... right, soooo you're like her sister telling me she's not around today and not to panic if I can't reach her? Thanks for the heads up. I thought she sounded different. I'm John. It's nice to meet you, what's your name?" --Side note, she had a history of self harm and I believe at least one suicide attempt. Part of the reason why I was on with her as much as I was was to make sure she didn't attempt anything like that again-- K- "no little dearling, I'm moving the body for her while her spirit rests" Me- "I... huh?" Duchess was a Tiger, I think. My memory of her is a little hazy and her 'arc', you could call it, is pretty complex. She told me how there were several people in Kry's head, that they were part of her soul which had been created when it shattered or spirits drawn to her. Over the next few days I talked to a few of them. Duchess and another one called Kitty were the ones I remember the most, Kitty was slightly childish and playful. She loved Tettris and would often kick my rear end over and over at it. I remember assuming this was like a coping method for Kry, I was a little into roleplay (I'd played DnD I think twice) so I played along, talked to them, hang out with them. If it helped I was happy to do it. Eventually, she stopped messaging me so often and we drifted apart, her boyfriend was being an absolute rock for her and she found she needed me less and less. I was just glad to have helped a little and over time I forgot about the Others I'd spoken too. Then we met again on another project about two and a bit years ago, and soon I began to find how deep the rabbit hole went. ----- There are so many stories after two years (And that's only the time I was involved. Others came before me) I'm not really sure where to start. Doesn't help my memory is less then perfect, so certain details have slipped my mind. I can either attempted to do it chronologically, or let you pick which sound the most Here's a few choices! The mirror, the prison, the what the gently caress? I am a dragon, let me keep this woman as a sex slave The eternal bullshit war King or Captain Asspull  Oh god there's more of you? The power of love reattaches missing hearts The loving Fae The Day We Killed God
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Jan 16, 2013 15:57
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Always chronological
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Jan 16, 2013 16:19
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Here's a few choices! everything.I would like to see The Day We Killed God first though.
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Jan 16, 2013 16:33
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Question Mark Mound posted:Always chronological Jeek posted:Do not not understand the one rule of this thread? Somehow managed to forget that rule while posting. Just one example of my terrible memory I guess.  I'll post the day we killed god alongside the next story then. Unfortunately I need to head to work now, so once I'm back from that I'll post away. Sorry for making you wait.
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Jan 16, 2013 16:46
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On that note actually, personally I always prefer each story to be its own post purely because if I don't have time to read an entire massive post, I can just set my last read post to however far I've gotten and won't accidentally miss stuff. Though seeing as I've been fortunate enough for the crazies in my life to not be anywhere near as bad as you guys, I really shouldn't be dictating how you post!
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Jan 16, 2013 16:54
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Runcible Cat posted:Folklorically, they have permanent erections. (It's a common side-effect of decomposition, apparently.) Not to sperg up this thread (and i could be wrong, I am not a mortician) but I don't think (again as far as i know...) popping boners posthumously is a thing that happens. Usually if somebody dies they die laying down, the blood pools in the back. When rigor mortis sets in, muscles stiffen, and while there are muscles at the base of the penis there aren't any in the actual organ. Leaving it floppy, floppy, floppy. Also heres a gross thought: since vampires have no circulation and are standing they should be walking around with huge blood swollen feet. Sexy. CatStacking fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Jan 16, 2013 |
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Jan 16, 2013 17:27
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cuntvalet posted:Not to sperg up this thread (and i could be wrong, I am not a mortician) but I don't think (again as far as i know...) popping boners posthumously is a thing that happens. Usually if somebody dies they die laying down, the blood pools in the back. When rigor mortis sets in, muscles stiffen, and while there are muscles at the base of the penis there aren't any in the actual organ. Leaving it floppy, floppy, floppy.
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Jan 16, 2013 17:44
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The Thread posted:Boners filled with the blood of the innocent I wanted the thread to come back, but not like this! Not like this Anyway, here's a collection of fanart mostly from when I reread the Vampire Chronicles in college, which you can tell because it's digitally colored:  Next up is the big finale, which I have titled The Re-Vamp, a Harry Potter/Vampire Chronicles crossover fan comic and the best and only crossover fan comic I have ever made?
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Jan 16, 2013 17:57
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