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haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






It's comments like that that make me glad Joe Paterno is dead.

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Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

haljordan posted:

It's comments like that that make me glad Joe Paterno is dead.

It bothers me that it took child rape for me to realize how freaky the cult of Paterno was

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Kiwi Bigtree posted:

It bothers me that it took child rape for me to realize how freaky the cult of Paterno was

If you look at it from a completely logical standpoint, "Guy who won a lot of football games" ranks somewhere between "Guy who invented that plastic thing that goes in pizza boxes" and "Guy who invented the pet rock" in the pantheon of human achievement.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

haljordan posted:

If you look at it from a completely logical standpoint, "Guy who won a lot of football games" ranks somewhere between "Guy who invented that plastic thing that goes in pizza boxes" and "Guy who invented the pet rock" in the pantheon of human achievement.

So Paterno falls somewhere between the greatest human being we've ever known and the most mediocre? Don't we all?

Serisothikos
Dec 4, 2004

Unlimited Pasta Pass
Always remember that Joe Paterno is the real victim here.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

haljordan posted:

If you look at it from a completely logical standpoint, "Guy who won a lot of football games" ranks somewhere between "Guy who invented that plastic thing that goes in pizza boxes" and "Guy who invented the pet rock" in the pantheon of human achievement.

This is my biggest gripe. The cult of Paterno was not about "He won a lot of football games." The whole hagiography about the guy was a whole lot more complex than that. He was the man who built the university, created the student athlete, made boys into men, gave a corrupt institution ethics, etc. etc.

It wasn't something as simple as "won a lot of games." It was an entire mythology.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
When Paterno first made the world, the earth was empty and dark. Then God said, "Let there be light," and so there was light. Paterno saw that the light was good and decreed that football should only kick off at noon.

On the second day, Paterno said, "Let there be a sky between the waters," and the sky was made by Paterno's word. This sky kept the water in the upper air apart from the waters that were underneath, and luxury boxes kept the unwashed masses from those who were truly committed to the glory that is college football.

Another day came, and Paterno said, "Let the waters collect in one place, and let the dry land come out." Paterno called the dry land Happy Valley, The waters, He called seas, Paterno looked at all that He had made, and He saw that it was good, although the land-locked away from the seas was better than the land by the seas or in the south.

The Fourth Day Paterno made two great lights and many smaller ones. So LaVar Arrington, Franco Harris, and the stars were made. They give light to the earth, and they mark the days and the seasons for us. Paterno saw what He had made, and it was good. We don't speak of Curtis Enis or Ki-Jana Carter.

Paterno said, "Let the waters be full of life, and let winged creatures fly in the sky." So it was done. Huge fishes and water animals began to swim in the sea, and many kinds of wounded ducks flew overhead. God saw that His works were good, and He blessed them, He said, "Raise families of young, and bring them unsupervised to me, until the waters swarm with living things, and the air is full of birds."

Paterno made all kinds of wild beasts and cattle, and creatures that crawl on the ground, called linemen. Again, Paterno saw that His works were good, although he lamented how the lands in the South produced linemen that outperformed his livestock in big games.

On the sixth day, after Paterno made the linemen, He said, "Let us make man in Our image and likeness, Let us make him ruler over the fishes of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, and the animals of the whole earth." So Paterno made man in His own image and likeness.

Paterno finished His work in six days, On the seventh day He rested. Man in his image raped a child of his image in a shower, and Paterno did not want to bother anyone about it because it was the weekend.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Kiwi Bigtree posted:

This is my biggest gripe. The cult of Paterno was not about "He won a lot of football games." The whole hagiography about the guy was a whole lot more complex than that. He was the man who built the university, created the student athlete, made boys into men, gave a corrupt institution ethics, etc. etc.

It wasn't something as simple as "won a lot of games." It was an entire mythology.
Made boys into men, let men into boys. It's a wash.

pillsburysoldier
Feb 11, 2008

Yo, peep that shit

A woman tried out for the NY Jets kicking today. She had suffered an injury earlier and it didn't go to well

Here's the video: http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-videos/0ap2000000146619/Tough-day-for-female-kicker

Luckily, NFL.com's video section has live, facebook commenting


quote:

Yeah it's cool she got to do this, but women in the NFL? Her dream is a little ridiculous, just leave the NFL alone, the last thing they need are women, where does it end? A whole WNFL, stupid. Are men NFL cheerleaders next? So dumb

quote:

I haven't seen kicking that bad since I was in elementary school. Quad injury or not, my 5 year old son kicks a football further than that. Media just stop trying to spin this as a failed attempt due to injury. Iv'e seen women in soccer kick with worst injuries than this kicking a ball regardless of the ergonomics associated with the ball.

quote:

Is she the same chick that proposed to Tom Brady in a wedding dress at the SuperBowl media day? Or just another person making a mockery of the NFL? Can't kick the ball off a tee? Really?

pillsburysoldier fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Mar 4, 2013

oshuaj
Jul 25, 2007


Packers fans are mad in the JSOnline comments

quote:

So if TT is so smart and his talent evaluation and team building approch is perfect, why aren't the Packers celebrating their second Lomardi trophy?

quote:

All Jennings will do is slow down Randall Cobb's development.
Don't bring GJ back...
Bernard Pollard is out there...stubborn Ted..

quote:

We are too drat passive right now and are on track for another one and done playoff run--if we're lucky. Be bold for heaven's sake! Hoarding money didn't work for Scrooge and it won't work for the Packers' Front Office.

quote:

I'ts real simple! Thompson has to go! We will have the same team on the field this year and nothing will change. I think he's confused and believes he's working for another NFL team. He's sure not helping the Packers!

quote:

What is the "long run" - you are either winning in the NFL or you are wasting time. Lombardi never said anything about "the long run."

quote:

Contention.????????? What the heck is Contention...do you think Lombardi would have been satisfied with CONTENTION!!!!!! The concept should be to WIN EVERY YEAR...NOT CONTEND...Yeah I know, impossible..well look at the Packers in the 60's look at New England...
those were/are teams with management skills..... The Packers are to interested in the bottom dollar line..not in WINNING IT ALL! Period...Go buy some more Packer stock and hang THAT on your wall!

quote:

a rodgers = b favre. just watch. mark my words. he'll get paid more and more, and the talent around him will fade more and more, and packer fans, good luck seeing the green and gold in another super bowl while this group is in charge. trust me, i'd bet my 401k on it.

The Incredible Ed
Nov 12, 2006

The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.
Vince Lombardi didn't look at the long run and look what happened to him - he's dead.

And he's NEVER COMING BACK.

7744
Mar 27, 2003

It had no choice. Their defense grid was smashed. We'd won. Taking out Carr then would make no difference. Skynet had to wipe out his entire existence!


:staredog:

HarlanHell
Nov 16, 2012

Nevermind that shit here comes Mingo!

pillsburysoldier posted:

A woman tried out for the NY Jets kicking today. She had suffered an injury earlier and it didn't go to well

Here's the video: http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-videos/0ap2000000146619/Tough-day-for-female-kicker

Luckily, NFL.com's video section has live, facebook commenting

To be fair she was a complete embarrassment. She couldn't even kick it 20 yards in the air. If you look at her form in the video you can tell that the injury is just a lame excuse. She was out there for her fifteen minutes nothing more. Its a real shame too because the first woman at the NFL combine should have been a milestone. I mostly feel sad for real female athletes who could of gone out there and not made a complete joke of the process.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

This is literally all Packer fans.

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me
Well, Donald Driver is going to be a first ballot hall of famer so...

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

MourningView posted:

This is literally all Packer fans.

He is actually a lions fan. Self-hating, but they still count!

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

HarlanHell posted:

To be fair she was a complete embarrassment. She couldn't even kick it 20 yards in the air. If you look at her form in the video you can tell that the injury is just a lame excuse. She was out there for her fifteen minutes nothing more. Its a real shame too because the first woman at the NFL combine should have been a milestone. I mostly feel sad for real female athletes who could of gone out there and not made a complete joke of the process.

It took her like over 20 seconds to even get the ball on the tee, but what really was annoying was the self-promotion she was doing the whole time and the fact that she had soccer experience not football experience.

limeincoke
Jul 3, 2005

Heroes of the Storm
Goon Tournament Champion
Right now, the longest thread on Nebraska rivals site is one arguing for the existence of Bigfoot. About 90% of the posts are making fun of the concept, but the entirety of that last 10 % could be posted here. I'm just going to post one excerpt from the thread.


quote:

So litespeedhuskerfan, you obviously believe Bigfoot and this video are complete hoax's, right?

I wonder if you apply the same standard to the moon landing?

1. Bigfoot: documented by a supposed video and a number of photos taken by so called witnesses.

2. Moon Landing: documented by supposedly TV coverage, and photos.

You claim Bigfoot is a hoax. OK, so what is actually in the video that red rover has been taking about?

What makes you so certain that the moon landing was legit? I recall watching the '69 moon landing with my parents
when we were in London, England. I believed we landed because I watched it on TV. But yet, the only witnesses were the Astronauts, right? What about those who claim to have witnessed Big foot? Are they all liars but the Astronauts are hero's because our government proclaims that?

how about the moon rocks? some rocks in the photos have letters on them. hmmm? it's a known fact you can pick up moon rocks in Antartica. How about all the irregularities in the shadows being cast from the so called sun in the photos?

I'm not claiming to be 100% certain of either...Bigfoot or the '69 moon landing. I do believe, however, that there is enough; including video, photos, DNA evidence of hair strands proved NOT to be from apes or humans, and documented witness testimonies to support the notion that Bigfoot exists.....

Others would claim the same type of evidence supports the fact that the moon landings did indeed occur in the manner we have been told by NASA etc. However, as in the video linked "A funny thing happened on the way to the moon", and many other videos point out, it's very easy to disprove the moon landing as well.

Now, do I believe we've been to the moon? Absolutely...in fact I truly believe we've been there for a long time. (lots of info about what's really going on there).

However, the '69 moon landing seems very odd in the manner it was covered and documented.

As I've said in other posts....once you take the blinders off and see what's outside of your perceived reality, many things come to light.
Just something to think about.

The thread in question. Read it if you want 20 minutes of laughter.

http://nebraska.rivals.com/showmsg.asp?SID=928&fid=181&style=2&tid=162843914&Page=4

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
I love that their automatic response is "I used to be like you but then I opened my eyes. Just find the truth."

It's such a weak debate stance.

edit: Oh wow this guy is the one who kept sending my dad insane letters threatening our family because he was the headlining medical expert supporting Flouride in the water.

quote:

You asked me something to the effect of what I did to develop my opinions/perspective. Well the first thing that made a huge difference was discontinuing use of Fluoride. When I discovered that the Nazi's used Sodium Fluoride on the Jews in concentration camps to "make them more docile", that turned on the proverbial light bulb. You've heard about the campaign to "dumb down Americans" right?

It's amazing what you can see and contemplate when you clear your mind. In fact, took my entire family off of it. In about a month, I started noticing changes. Your awareness opens up big time. Pineal Gland decalcifies and opens up your spiritual aspect and higher consciousness. We became a closer nit family because we felt a stronger bond. My kids health also improved. There is a reason why the "all seeing eye" is such a big deal to those who control the media etc. CBS's logo coincidence?

Rasczak
Mar 30, 2005

So I was reading news on Cowboyszone.com when on a whim I clicked on the fan discussion forum. I then asked myself "self, why is there a thread titled 'The fabricated concussion discussion'" and then clicked on that. Almost immediately I fought the urge to claw my own eyeballs out like Sam Neill in Event Horizon. I can't unsee this, so I'm taking the rest of you bastards with me.

quote:

I've been reasonably certain for a fairly lengthy span of my lifetime that playing football - particularly of the NFL variety - could have future implications on overall health. Knees don't bend in enough directions for football, shoulders aren't particularly suited, and repeatedly ramming your head into other hard surfaces seems to carry with it a possible undesired consequence.

That's knowledge I've stored neatly in the "genius file" in my brain, along with "Don't forget your anniversary" and "Don't pee on an electric fence." It's filed under D, for "duh".

So here we have this collection of former players, obviously broke and struggling with their sudden irrelevance, not to mention kicking themselves for umpteen other bad decisions along the way, ready to skewer and bastardize the league that gave them so many opportunities during and after their careers.

Nevermind the vials of horse steroids and whatnot they pumped through their bodies back then. Disregard the lifestyles many of them led, the drugs and alcohol they may have used, the intentional cheap shots they personally delivered, or the self-inflicted financial disasters they incurred. Pay no attention to all the great advice and common sense they ignored and set aside along the way.

The smell of money is in the air. A gang mentality is forming. And the me-first attitudes that took control of professional athletics in the 80s is kicking in.

Screw the game. They want theirs.

The world has gone stupid. Mayors are outlawing big coke cups because people are getting too fat. Educators are banning homework because it's unfair to single-parent kids. Teachers in the UK are prohibiting students from having "best friends" because it might hurt feelings. You can name a hundred more examples of massive overreaching and overlegislation that is now just commonplace in the world of misfits we needlessly appease.

And now, we've decided banging your head around might not be completely safe. Amazing.

Why would football players be any different than boxers? Did they not see Muhammed Ali deteriorate, and hundreds of fighters before him? Have they not heard Joe Frazier speak? Virtually every fighter of the past struggles to speak and effectively communicate later in life from too many jars to the head over too much time. This is not news.

And haven't occupational hazards been around for some time now?

Skywalkers know they might fall building skyscrapers. Rodeo clowns know the bulls aren't amused. Evil Kneivel drove his bike off the ramp without being pushed. High school graduates sign up willingly for the Marines knowing the risks. Electricians, pilots, stuntmen, all of us....we take chances in our lives, in work and play. Just sitting in a cubicle can make you fat and develop bloodclots. but that isn't the fault of your company.

Bottom line, there's a reason NFL football players are compensated the way they are, and it isn't only for their talent. They willingly do something that most aren't willing to do. It's not war, and they're not actually gladiators, but it's pretty much the next thing to it. It's a big part of why we love the game and admire them for taking the risks to play it.

Plus, these guys did this to each other. So why isn't Jim McMahon suing Ronnie Lott? Is it the NFL's fault that guys like Lott, Blount, Tatum, Lynch, etc, take such incredibly immense pleasure in crushing a man's skull with his own? Granted, the NFL marketed it, and we ate it up, but no one made anyone do anything against their will.

Yet, here we are. It has come to this. Fearing the coming onslaught of lawsuits, the NFL has just neutuered some of the best players in the game: Adrian Peterson, Marshawn Lynch, Stephen Jackson, and our very own Demarco Murray. A big part of their arsenal is gone, and with it, one of my favorite parts of the game.

Forever, running backs have been able to deliver the same blows they take disproportionately, but no more. Now, they'll have to duck out of bounds or hit the floor, or just brace themselves for the blow. For lowering their head could cost their team 15 yards and the ball. This new rule is so unfathomably stupid, I'm shocked it was passed, and by 31-1 no less. Owners are scared to death.

So now, running the football just became more risky for coaches. Yes, by all means, let's throw it more, as if 50-60 times per game wasn't enough already. We don't need kickoffs anymore, so why bother with running it either? Throw it, throw it, throw it some more.

I hate where this game is headed. It's only going to get worse. My interest in waning. My season tickets are up for sale.

Thankfully, I have some real football games on VCR tapes.

The best part is when 95% of the thread agrees with him.

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

I have some real football games on VCR tapes.

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Rasczak posted:

So I was reading news on Cowboyszone.com when on a whim I clicked on the fan discussion forum. I then asked myself "self, why is there a thread titled 'The fabricated concussion discussion'" and then clicked on that. Almost immediately I fought the urge to claw my own eyeballs out like Sam Neill in Event Horizon. I can't unsee this, so I'm taking the rest of you bastards with me.


The best part is when 95% of the thread agrees with him.

I don't suppose anybody has pointed out that it's kind of tough to smell money with a bullet through your heart? Obviously they wanted their brains preserved so they could be put on display, to relive their past glory. Certainly this guy isn't projecting or anything.

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.
VCR tapes were the preferred medium the last time the Cowboys were relevant, so that makes sense

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
They are actually always relevant.

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it
I still use VCR tapes in a professional capacity on a daily basis.

JesustheDarkLord
May 22, 2006

#VolsDeep
Lipstick Apathy

MourningView posted:

They are actually always relevant.

It's like Hitler - you need them around as a measuring stick for other awful franchises.

The Incredible Ed
Nov 12, 2006

The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.

Flikken posted:

I still use VCR tapes in a professional capacity on a daily basis.

Are you like the people that work at colonial williamsburg only for 1980? I've thought of starting that business myself.

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know
I hope this man has explicit written permission from the NFL, CBS, NBC, FOX, and ESPN.

Rasczak
Mar 30, 2005

JesustheDarkLord posted:

It's like Hitler - you need them around as a measuring stick for other awful franchises.

The Dallas Cowboys: literally figuratively football Hitler

Rasczak
Mar 30, 2005

Epic High Five posted:

I don't suppose anybody has pointed out that it's kind of tough to smell money with a bullet through your heart? Obviously they wanted their brains preserved so they could be put on display, to relive their past glory. Certainly this guy isn't projecting or anything.

Double post! I railed on them and brought up all the kids who don't get paid poo poo for giving themselves brain damage, and how most players end up broke and uninsured with myriad medical issues, but it doesn't matter. drat near all of them are imbeciles.

I guess the biggest surprise was that they irritated me enough to actually make a post.

MourningView posted:

They are actually always relevant.

The Cowboys will be relevant to me developing stomach ulcers within the next few years.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer
http://www.pewterreport.com/Boards/index.php/topic,1304246.0.html

What's this? A post about the potential of a current NFL player coming out in the next few months? Surely nothing could go wrong he....



quote:

Maybe I'm behind the times (no pun intended, but laugh if you want), but why is that info?

Why do I need to know about some guy taking it in the poopshoot from another guy anyway? (reminds me of the scene from talladega nights where Ricky Bobby's best friend declares that he spread his butt cheeks for playgirl)....like he needed to tell him that? Lol

It's not like I run around telling people I bang vagina. Big non deal IMO.

quote:

Heaven Help Us. Hope it's not a Bucs player-- that would be soooo gay.

I remember when it was legal to throw rocks at gays.

I guess it would be "illegal" to yell gay slurs at the player at a game?? Sad.


quote:

I could really care less.. Still, I'm sick of this attitude that society should throw a fricking parade every time someone comes out of the closet.

And no, I wouldn't be surprised at all if it was Josh(Freeman). Of course, suppose he does come out and we don't renew his contract. Wouldn't that be fun times in the media.


quote:

I don't understand why they want to make a big deal about it. I have no problems with a player being gay but why does he need special media attention for it? If they want to be just like everybody else, why make a big deal about announcing it? The media wants this so bad. I only care if our players can run tackle and score, other than that, who cares?

quote:


Homosexuality is a blight on Society.
It always has been, and it always will be-- no matter how many people cave in to their wishes.



I made it about four pages until my brain locked up and I closed the page out.

The Incredible Ed
Nov 12, 2006

The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

Rasczak posted:

The Cowboys will be relevant to me developing stomach ulcers within the next few years.

The trick is to learn not to care. I existence in a state of nothingness throughout the NFL season. Oh no, another poorly time interception. Oh dear, a draw play on 3rd and 9. Hmm, there appear to be 12 men currently on the field, I do believe that is against the rules. How unfortunate. Well life must go on, I suppose.

Rasczak
Mar 30, 2005

MourningView posted:

The trick is to learn not to care. I existence in a state of nothingness throughout the NFL season. Oh no, another poorly time interception. Oh dear, a draw play on 3rd and 9. Hmm, there appear to be 12 men currently on the field, I do believe that is against the rules. How unfortunate. Well life must go on, I suppose.

I'm actually pretty far along this path it turns out. Increasing apathy towards the team, general disdain for most of the fanbase.

At least I'm not a Browns fan I guess.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

lol

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

Is that the Gronk picture? Now we know why he never banged that pornstar.

Wiccan Wasteland
Oct 15, 2012

Rasczak posted:

So I was reading news on Cowboyszone.com when on a whim I clicked on the fan discussion forum. I then asked myself "self, why is there a thread titled 'The fabricated concussion discussion'" and then clicked on that. Almost immediately I fought the urge to claw my own eyeballs out like Sam Neill in Event Horizon. I can't unsee this, so I'm taking the rest of you bastards with me.


The best part is when 95% of the thread agrees with him.

I came close to posting this over here but decided against it. That entire forum is low hanging fruit.

Wiccan Wasteland
Oct 15, 2012
SO it begins

quote:

Is Tony Romo's new deal Jerry's worst move?

I'm absolutely stunned with this move......

I think back to the Joey Galloway trade...and the desperation in that trade...

The Roy Williams trade....More desperation

And now this

I keep hearing how they had to do this deal......

I'm not buying it.

It's just like this bailout to all the banks when the banks said the economy would have collapsed w/o the bailouts.

That wasn't the truth....then

And doing this deal wasn't in the best interest of the Cowboys for the long term.

Football people all over the league are laughing their tails off.

This deal is the end of the Dallas Cowboys.

Yes...they may be competitive for this season. But the bill is coming...And It's gonna have to be paid.

There will be no way to keep our free agents in the coming years.

This BS about this is the going rate for starting QBs......last I looked

the QBs that got these 100 million$ deals all have a Super Bowl win.

I have to ask what did Jerry do between the end of the Washington game and now to think Romo was worth this deal?

Did he not witness the interceptions in the Redskin game?

Jerry has lost his mind.

How could he ever agree to a deal w/ Romo in the first place that he couldn't be franchised?????

If Jerry was smart....

he would have let Romo play out his deal and see how the season played out...then franchised him.

You could have squeezed 2 more years out of Romo for 32 million.

Now your committed to him for @ least 4 years

Where was Romo gonna go if he was a free agent anyway????

No one would have paid half that contract.

This deal is the last straw that broke the Cowboys back. Mark my words.....people will look back @ this deal and wonder what the hell Jerry was possibly thinking?

I'm surprised that he didn't call Jerry, Jerruh, or any other stupid name they have came up for him.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
That dude does not really get punctuation.

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The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
Really? Resigning their franchise quarterback is dumbest thing Jerry Jones has ever done?

Wow.

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