|
Frosted Flake posted:I'm going to say based on Pte Bloggins that it's a Canadian story. There is a simple solution to this. Stay away from CFSAL. THE WAY IS SHUT.
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2013 00:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 18:42 |
|
|
In Vilseck the RSS (Regimental Support Squadron) barracks are all up on this hill behind 1st Squadron. Yes, we called it Whore Hill.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2013 00:56
|
|
|
We're on 100% lobster rations until the next food truck comes in, because the DFAC manager doesn't like lobster so she saves it for last. God I love Afghanistan.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2013 06:32
|
|
|
Pudgygiant posted:We're on 100% lobster rations until the next food truck comes in, because the DFAC manager doesn't like lobster so she saves it for last. God I love Afghanistan. I was amazed at how many people actually ate that. Desert fever must hit people especially hard if they were willing to eat putrid shellfish in a landlocked third world country.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2013 15:00
|
|
|
Tuesdays at Speicher in OIF3 was surf and turf for dinner chow. Tuesday nights at the CSH at Speicher were food poisoning nights.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2013 15:04
|
|
|
PLANES CURE TOWERS posted:Tuesday nights at the CSH at Speicher were food poisoning nights. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rU5mpwJ6GU
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2013 15:34
|
|
|
Derek Dominoe posted:I was amazed at how many people actually ate that. Desert fever must hit people especially hard if they were willing to eat putrid shellfish in a landlocked third world country. Yeah, I'm a huge seafood eater but the only way I'll eat lobster out here is overcooked to poo poo (aka lobster a la DFAC) or grilled, if I did the grilling.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2013 16:30
|
|
|
Pudgygiant posted:We're on 100% lobster rations until the next food truck comes in, because the DFAC manager doesn't like lobster so she saves it for last. God I love Afghanistan. high mountain seafood, man. totally legit. i had a dangerous encounter at a DFAC in Sharona with something labelled "shrimps" but fortunately i have an iron stomach. although i did get the worst food poisoning of my entire life from a kandahar DFAC the day i flew out for R&R. first stop was kuwait, mid-july, 130 degrees. god that trip sucked. i remember when our resupply convoys got blown up for like a month straight, so all our DFAC had was lettuce and rice. every day, every meal, hahaha. we would literally fly to other FOBs and raid DFACs for basic food items (and cases upon cases of rip-its).
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2013 00:29
|
|
|
Pudgygiant posted:We're on 100% lobster rations until the next food truck comes in, because the DFAC manager doesn't like lobster so she saves it for last. God I love Afghanistan. I was on a VSP and we didn't have refrigerators for the first few months, so every time we got a food drop we had to eat as much as we could before it went bad. This led to HAVING to eat at least 3 steaks and 5 lobster tails for a week until it spoiled and we had to burn it. Then it was living on pop tarts and jack links beef jerky until the next drop. Relevant to the thread: We eventually got Supreme birds to come to our site, which are a bunch of drunk eastern European dudes flying around old rear end Soviet helicopters dropping food off. You are supposed to be able to order specific poo poo, but it never came and we would just get random poo poo. On one bird we got an entire pallet of ranch dressing, a pallet of bay leaves and a half pallet that only contained a melted five gallon carton of ice cream surrounded by empty Styrofoam containers that once contained dry ice. We called the civilian that was in charge of what was supposed to be on the flights, and after arguing with her for a while she told us "why are you complaining? Just go to the DFAC!". Yeah okay lady, we are on a base that has 15 Americans on it, we will just swing by the DFAC after we stop at green beans. Eventually after enough VSPs complained, the orders got straightened out.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2013 04:13
|
|
|
Not even subs are immune to spoiled food. One underway, one of our freezers stopped working. We had to toss a poo poo-ton of meat overboard. At least the sharks had a decent meal. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2013 04:37
|
|
|
Living in a tiny tiny OP with the Gurkhas for a month had me living off of dried goat and rice for that entire month 
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2013 07:07
|
|
|
First hand story from the gently caress up himself. Dude brings his Playstation in for nightshift and is just chillin' having a good time when he gets a text from this chick he knows saying she wants to hook up with him or whatever. Well guy is like 'gently caress yeah lets do this I even know a place' since there was an extra room in the far end of the sleep lab that was the unofficial gently caress spot. So she meets up with him and they head off to the sleep lab while the husband he may or may not have known she had rips a shutter cover off of one of the hospital entrances and proceeds to steal his Playstation while the wife just blue balls the guy. Well he just got played and played hard so what does he do? Complains to Chief.  Chief she lured me to the sleep lab and her husband broke in and stole my Playstation and now I want it back! Why the hell are you bringing your Playstation to work while you have patients on ventilators? Why are you leaving your post to have sex with married women in my sleep lab?In the end I think they got his Playstation back for him, and he narrowly dodged having to pay for the door the husband broke since I guess he thought ripping a metal shutter off it's hinges to get in a back exit was more stealthy than just walking in and out the front?
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2013 03:09
|
|
|
Cenen posted:First hand story from the gently caress up himself. Dude brings his Playstation in for nightshift and is just chillin' having a good time when he gets a text from this chick he knows saying she wants to hook up with him or whatever. Well guy is like 'gently caress yeah lets do this I even know a place' since there was an extra room in the far end of the sleep lab that was the unofficial gently caress spot. So she meets up with him and they head off to the sleep lab while the husband he may or may not have known she had rips a shutter cover off of one of the hospital entrances and proceeds to steal his Playstation while the wife just blue balls the guy. I don't think you did first-hand right
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2013 10:04
|
|
|
Ikarus posted:I don't think you did first-hand right He was the playstation
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2013 10:34
|
|
|
We had a guy in our platoon who managed to get the cleaning rod stuck inside the barrel of his HK 416. Since he couldn't pull it out, he tried pushing it out with another cleaning rod. Of course the other one got stuck too. The next day at weapons counting he had the rifle in a bag.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 01:39
|
|
|
Selklubber posted:We had a guy in our platoon who managed to get the cleaning rod stuck inside the barrel of his HK 416. Since he couldn't pull it out, he tried pushing it out with another cleaning rod. Of course the other one got stuck too. The next day at weapons counting he had the rifle in a bag. This makes me mad because I can appreciate and love a weapon like that, but they give it to the idiot who could somehow jam two rods in it.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 03:26
|
|
|
Don't worry, everyone got HKs, he wasn't special. Get mad because two sergeants asked why he didn't push it out with another rod before they saw he'd already tried that.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 04:05
|
|
|
How the gently caress do you get a cleaning rod stuck in a barrel? Was he trying to use a 30-cal brush or something?
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 05:04
|
|
|
Mad Dragon posted:How the gently caress do you get a cleaning rod stuck in a barrel? Was he trying to use a 30-cal brush or something? Unfortunately I've had the privilege, along with many others, of doing. Heaps of people put too much rag in the eyelet of our cleaning tool, pulled it through, and it got stuck. Even better is when people have attempted to push through a cleaning rod into a blank barrel for our gun. The BFA is hard welded on the end. Realise it's not coming out - and christ, it takes some pulling to dislodge. This one, however, I never managed to do. All jams were eventually dislodged, mind you.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 05:55
|
|
|
Should just issue you boresnakes, really
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 10:39
|
|
|
I recently heard about a soldier in another troop that I feel deserves to have the honor of being mentioned here. J is a fresh out of basic 11C who recently arrived in Germany. J quickly learns that the drinking age in Germany is 18. As soon as he completes inproccessing he starts to get hammered. His 2nd week here he show up drunk to formation, he quickly gets himself an Article 15 and enrolled in ASAP. Things get better for him for a few weeks until one Wednesday night he decides to get trashed. Thursday morning he shows up drunk to PT, his NCO's make him go on a platoon run. J quickly falls out of the run then proceeds to fall into a ditch and poo poo himself. NCO's tell J to go to his room and clean up and be at 0900 formation. J decides to clean himself by taking his poo poo filled shorts off and throwing them around the room covering his walls and ceiling in feces, after he finished with his masterpiece he lays down and rolls around on the floor covering himself in his own poo poo. J was found passed out on the floor covered in poo poo and a modern art masterpiece all over his walls, he was found this way by his entire CoC. J gets another Article 15 but he isn't done having fun in Germany yet. In his most recent escapade he went to Nuremberg by himself got wasted and then decided to pick a fight with about 12 German guys, he is now sitting in a Germany hospital with his jaw wired shut. Thankfully J is not my soldier but witnessing this whole ordeal has cemented my desire to leave the Army.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 11:16
|
|
|
Selklubber posted:Don't worry, everyone got HKs, he wasn't special. Get mad because two sergeants asked why he didn't push it out with another rod before they saw he'd already tried that. At least he didn't try pencils
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 12:49
|
|
|
The Rat posted:At least he didn't try pencils When my grandfather did his national service, training was enlivened by taking a pencil, putting it down the barrel of a SMLE, and giving indirect fire on people over hedges with blanks. Apparently if you hit a cow, the pencil will stick.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 12:58
|
|
|
War. War never changes.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 12:59
|
|
|
Mad Dragon posted:How the gently caress do you get a cleaning rod stuck in a barrel? Was he trying to use a 30-cal brush or something? Yeah, too much rag on the rod. It happened sometimes, but never so spectacular as this. Wasabi the J posted:This makes me mad because I can appreciate and love a weapon like that, but they give it to the idiot who could somehow jam two rods in it. What's up with the HK that makes it so loveable? The M4/M16 you guys use looks almost the same, the HK just has a softer butt and was too large while driving. Some canadians I talked to during Cold Response also liked it. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 14:02
|
|
|
Selklubber posted:What's up with the HK that makes it so loveable? The M4/M16 you guys use looks almost the same, the HK just has a softer butt and was too large while driving. Some canadians I talked to during Cold Response also liked it. Gas piston vs direct impingement is probably the big thing, means it gets gunked up a lot less
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 14:07
|
|
|
Snowdens Secret posted:Gas piston vs direct impingement is probably the big thing, means it gets gunked up a lot less Bore snakes take care of that a lot faster and easier than loving patches. After a few months of regular shooting it pays for itself.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 15:42
|
|
|
Keeping up the poo poo story theme: As prologue I don't know how common these are elsewhere, but the army issued winter-coat here is a kind of one-piece padded coverall (Like these). In order to take your pants off while wearing one, you have to unzip the front, remove your arms and then shimmy it down your legs and step out of the whole thing. We were out on the field one winter night all wrapped up in those when one guy had to take a dump. He walked a few meters off and got to work. As he was coming back, we could see him zipping up, and by the time he got to us, all he had left was to put the hood back up... Which he did with a pretty satisfying squelch. It took us all a second or two to realize that hoods don't normally squelch, and he figured what happened the moment something dripped down to his face. He started flailing around trying to get his coat and gear off while everyone else were as close as I've ever seen to choking with laughter (This was less funny later when it dawned on us that he wouldn't be showering for a few hours, and that we're stuck with him and his coat). Apparently he only rolled the coat down to his ankles, and then failed to move the hood from behind him while making GBS threads. In retrospect, it's a real shame that "shithead" isn't really a common swear here .
A Greek Letter fucked around with this message at 16:24 on Apr 30, 2013 |
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 16:21
|
|
|
A Greek Letter posted:Keeping up the poo poo story theme: Holy poo poo I am busting up like an idiot at work trying to read this post aloud
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 16:25
|
|
|
A Greek Letter posted:Keeping up the poo poo story theme: Oh my GOD this'll be tough to top.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 16:58
|
|
|
A Greek Letter posted:Shithead I don't know any Hebrew. Would this work, ראש תהת? (I just want to insult people in as many languages as possible) madeintaipei fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Apr 30, 2013 |
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 17:29
|
|
|
HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:Oh my GOD this'll be tough to top. When we pulled into Port Canaveral we had to post a guard at the far end of the pier; I don't know how long it is, but it's called the mile-long pier and it was at least far enough that the boat's cruddy walkie talkies couldn't reach. They give the guy a machine gun but to 100% make sure he doesn't accidentally ND into a passing cruise liner, they don't give him any bullets. One guy's out there on the midwatch and needs to poo poo. Radio doesn't work. Tries signalling the topside watch with a flashlight but no go. So he decides to drop trou and take a dump off the side of the pier (in full view of said passing cruise liners.) Must've been scared of falling over or something because he doesn't lean far enough and just shits into his lowered pants. Has to stand the rest of his watch, in Florida, with lovely drawers. Not as good as making GBS threads in your hood and not realizing it, though. I think I already told the story of the guy taking a dump on the floor of the reactor control room.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 18:10
|
|
|
madeintaipei posted:I don't know any Hebrew. Would this work, ראש תהת? (I just want to insult people in as many languages as possible) That's literally "butthead", which doesn't entirely encapsulate the magic of the moment. Also here's another one: Since this is a pretty small country with no major overseas forces and a mandatory conscription, most soldiers who aren't in training get to go home every two weeks or so. I was at a tiny base on the border which was around 30ish km from the nearest town. One weekend, just after Friday dinner, the other officer on watch and myself are chilling out in our room when we get called over the radio with "He jumped over the fence! He jumped over the fence!". I get in touch with the operations room to sound an alarm while the other guy radios back to the guard to figure out if we're really being invaded, then starts laughing and tells me to call it off - No-one jumped in, but this tiny Russian soldier actually jumped out. So we get into a jeep and find him some 200m from the fence, on the access road, running like crazy. As we slow down next to him and ask him what exactly he's doing, he informs us that "Is Novigod! I go home! [sic]" (This was somewhere in the second week of December, Russians have a civilian version of Christmas). We try to tell him that it's two weeks away and that the nearest town is pretty far and won't have buses until Sunday, but he keeps with his party line. Not entirely sure what to do with this, since there's no loving way he'll make it to the town, we just drive alongside him for a some 200m until he stops and asks us for a lift. We took him to the town (The army has a law where normal officers/ncos aren't allowed to detain someone after they leave the base, only MPs), where he took a taxi home. The thing is, that on Sunday his CO calls him up, informs him that not being on base for over seven days is desertion and that he should probably come back asap unless he really wants to get hosed. He shows up on Monday, gets court-martialed to two weeks detention and spends the holiday on base anyway  . The moral of the story is that timing is everything, I guess?
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2013 18:24
|
|
|
Snowdens Secret posted:When we pulled into Port Canaveral we had to post a guard at the far end of the pier; I don't know how long it is, but it's called the mile-long pier and it was at least far enough that the boat's cruddy walkie talkies couldn't reach. They give the guy a machine gun but to 100% make sure he doesn't accidentally ND into a passing cruise liner, they don't give him any bullets. Awww man this sounds exactly like another story I heard on here (maybe even this thread) but I could have sworn the dude fell off in the end instead. I remember it had another part about how the dude at the opposite end of the pier was also given a gun without bullets but since there was some sort of large cat spieces they gave him a jagged metal pole to defend himself. Or maybe I'm just crazy?
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2013 06:43
|
|
|
Cenen posted:Awww man this sounds exactly like another story I heard on here (maybe even this thread) but I could have sworn the dude fell off in the end instead. I remember it had another part about how the dude at the opposite end of the pier was also given a gun without bullets but since there was some sort of large cat spieces they gave him a jagged metal pole to defend himself. That was my story, the dude didn't fall in, and it was a wooden stick because of panthers
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2013 10:33
|
|
|
Its funny to me that I can (and do!) walk all over Florida with a gun because I had $100 and sat through a couple hour class but people in a panther ridden palmetto forest or wherever you guys were cannot have bullets.
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2013 13:40
|
|
|
Lord Gaga posted:Its funny to me that I can (and do!) walk all over Florida with a gun because I had $100 and sat through a couple hour class but people in a panther ridden palmetto forest or wherever you guys were cannot have bullets. You're probably also allowed to stay out in town after midnight.
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2013 09:04
|
|
|
Snowdens Secret posted:You're probably also allowed to stay out in town after midnight.
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2013 09:33
|
|
|
Wrong the content of my pockets has been severely regulated by my girlfriend because she does my laundry and says it was inappropriate to put jelly in there so no more jelly pockets for me no more PBJ on the go I might dump her though and then I can have jelly pockets again.
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2013 15:12
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 18:42 |
|
|
Lord Gaga posted:Wrong the content of my pockets has been severely regulated by my girlfriend because she does my laundry and says it was inappropriate to put jelly in there so no more jelly pockets for me no more PBJ on the go I might dump her though and then I can have jelly pockets again. What the gently caress is this
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2013 16:21
|
|