Bad Munki posted:What if I make a multitool iphone dongle made of brass and wood with cogs on it, it holds your money, and one of the tools is a piece of beef jerky? Then you might actually be on to something. I can't tell you how many days I spent tightening screws and trimming rope, wishing I had a snack and a wad of bills to look at while I worked. The cogs would be a nice touch of vintage.
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Jun 14, 2013 04:57
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Bad Munki posted:What if I make a multitool iphone dongle made of brass and wood with cogs on it, it holds your money, and one of the tools is a piece of beef jerky? Add a bunch of naked anime girls carved into it like that awful Kingdom Death game and you'll get to 2 million dollars in no time.
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Jun 14, 2013 05:01
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Evil Fluffy posted:Isn't actual Kobe Beef illegal in the US because the way Japan does things doesn't pass USDA requirements? Nah, it was illegal for a while due to concerns over Hoof and Mouth disease, but they raised the import restrictions in August of 2012.
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Jun 14, 2013 05:13
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Did no one notice those hilariously fake text messages that is on the kickstarter page? It may just because i have only heard about the kickstarter now, and know what the deal is, but there are so many small things, that stand out as weird and fake on that page.
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Jun 14, 2013 05:41
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Oasx posted:Did no one notice those hilariously fake text messages that is on the kickstarter page? It may just because i have only heard about the kickstarter now, and know what the deal is, but there are so many small things, that stand out as weird and fake on that page. Is that Kid C one supposed to be Kid Cudi? Because if so,  .
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Jun 14, 2013 06:53
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Nnep posted:I remember seeing those lovely iphone text screenshots on the kobe jerky page and thinking something like this would happen. Whiskey rocks. Actually, any idea that's identical to a product from a 2008 SkyMall seems like a good bet to get funded.
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Jun 14, 2013 06:56
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Is posting your own awful kickstarters allowed? Is posting your own awful kickstarters allowed if your own awful kickstarters are terrible? Well here's mine, an appeal to the internet to raise funds so I can use Google AdWords on my youtube videos. http://igg.me/at/benbola/x/3632973
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Jun 14, 2013 08:39
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Noni posted:I'm going to invent kobe beets so I can get rich off of illiterate foodies and wealthy eastern europeans. 
Alan Smithee has a new favorite as of 08:46 on Jun 14, 2013 |
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Jun 14, 2013 08:43
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Something relevant to the thread appeared yesterday on YOuTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98HEGgwgVok
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Jun 14, 2013 08:59
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quantum_squirrel posted:Something relevant to the thread appeared yesterday on YOuTube: That's hilarious. I also just checked Indiegogo for the inevitable coattail crowdfunding attempts to cash in on this and didn't find a single one, I don't know what went wrong there. Edit: I hung around IG looking for lovely projects, here's a few winners. Goatlings.com - kawaii virtual goat petsite! It's My Little Pony ever so slightly reimagined in goatform.  Touring magician needs $15k so he can buy a robot and teach nettiquette to kindergarteners. "Mentally disabled" guy is now on medication, needs funds so he can invest in the stockmarket. He's not offering any rewards at all but if he's doing well by 2015 he's promised to donate the amount that his project raised back to charity. The Dinosaur Expedition A guy wants to raise $659,730 to build a theme park where people go on 'expeditions' to track down dinosaurs in a huge forest. The project is flexible funding and if it ends up being underfunded then only the highest tiers will get to go on an 'expedition' and everyone else misses out. The expeditions will apparently go for 12 hours and be quite strenuous. quote:Expedition participants are responsible for their own travel expenses unless otherwise arranged. If someone merits inclusion we will provide extra help if we have the resources. Those going on 12 hour expeditions are responsible for their own camping equipment, keep it light and lean. We provide the food, you are responsible for making us aware of any allergies. We will make every reasonable effort to modify expeditions to accommodate our supporters, but at the end of the day I have to say the 12 hour expeditions are rough. It sounds like it's going to be something similar to the Zombie themepark that was discussed in the previous Kickstarter thread except with people in rubber dinosaur costumes instead of zombies. Snowglobe of Doom has a new favorite as of 10:26 on Jun 14, 2013 |
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Jun 14, 2013 09:21
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Noyemi K posted:Then you might actually be on to something. I can't tell you how many days I spent tightening screws and trimming rope, wishing I had a snack and a wad of bills to look at while I worked. The cogs would be a nice touch of vintage. You need steampunk-edition meat shoes with an iPhone app to inform you about your caloric intake.
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Jun 14, 2013 11:52
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ok Amazing posted:http://www.pozible.com/project/7139 Jedit posted:There have been suspected thylacine sightings as recently as last year. Searching for an animal that disappeared so recently that there are still people living who have seen one is a far cry from a hunt for Bigfoot or Nessie. Oh those campaigns also exist: 2012 Bigfoot Sequoia Park Kings Canyon Expedition The Falcon Project (Bigfoot seeking blimp) Squatching U.S.A. (A thinly veiled "Fund my trip to a Bigfoot convention!" project) There was also the Documentary Expedition to Congo Kickstarter where a bunch of suspiciously young and under-qualified guys raised nearly $30k so they could spend three months searching for dinosaurs and other undiscovered species in the Congo basin. Apparently they actually did travel over to Africa but reportedly only lasted three days before everything went wrong. Apparently four of the six team members dropped out and the remaining two stopped posting updates since the 4th guy was in control of their social media platforms and when he left he took their accounts with him. They posted this in the comments section of their KS project months later:  Translation: "Thanks for the all expenses paid African holiday, suckers!!  "
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Jun 14, 2013 12:18
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steinrokkan posted:You need steampunk-edition meat shoes with an iPhone app to inform you about your caloric intake. Only if I can stuff money in them, also they are a shite Android game that's actually the game maker tutorial game but reskinned. Oh, and it's a day-one back if they're made for sasquatch or come with vibrating energy crystals.
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Jun 14, 2013 12:37
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Noyemi K posted:Only if I can stuff money in them, also they are a shite Android game that's actually the game maker tutorial game but reskinned. Oh, and it's a day-one back if they're made for sasquatch or come with vibrating energy crystals. Do salt crystals count? Like, on the (100% free range imported sasquatch) bacon?
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Jun 14, 2013 14:08
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I found another article that gives an explanation of what happened to the Congo expedition:quote:Of course, others have been almost comically overambitious. Last spring, Stephen McCullah, 22, a biologist from Beaumont, Texas, raised nearly $29,000 to film a three-month expedition in the Congo in search of unknown animal species and a supposed living dinosaur. The expedition website has been down since August, and some of his backers have complained on McCullahs Kickstarter page that they havent received the genuine pygmy-made string and bone bracelet McCullah promised. In an email, McCullah said that hed traveled to the Congo but had been unable to obtain the necessary paperwork to leave Kinshasa, the capital, and his gear had been stolen. After realizing that it was going to take much more money than we had previously anticipated to fulfill the streakier promises and to complete the expedition, he wrote, we decided to come home and raise additional funds. Ive given a full explanation to our backers. The Kicktraq page for the project shows that one the first day of the campaign someone pledged $10,000 to have a new species named after themselves which I'm hoping was seed money from a family member, otherwise someone got screwed over bigtime.
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Jun 15, 2013 07:19
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quantum_squirrel posted:Something relevant to the thread appeared yesterday on YOuTube: Damnit it took me 40 seconds before I realized something was off...
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Jun 15, 2013 09:23
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Renoistic posted:Damnit it took me 40 seconds before I realized something was off... Yeah, it took me a bit to realize it's the Onion and I'd seen some of their Starfix videos before.
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Jun 15, 2013 10:44
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Young Freud posted:Yeah, it took me a bit to realize it's the Onion and I'd seen some of their Starfix videos before. I love how she keeps switching back and forth between pronouncing his last name "Fraser" and "Frasier"... He absolutely *hates* when people pronounce it "Frasier"
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Jun 15, 2013 15:13
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iPhone-shaped steampunk Kobe beef jerky. The nerd-bucks print themselves! And toss some zombie poo poo in there for good measure.
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Jun 15, 2013 15:28
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 Oh my goodness! THE Ryan Cheeseman? With an untitled movie? That he wants to make in 5-6 months on a budget of $500?Some observations: 1. He wants $500 to make a movie that doesn't have a title, barely has a plot, and has a cast consisting of "some friends, I guess, I dunno?" Like, what does he need money for? He's clearly not going for anything above "lovely YouTube video" level quality, he's guilting his "friends" into acting in his "deep dark drama", and the only reward related costs will be burning DVDs. What, is the money for a pizza party? 2. Ryan Cheeseman, master of drama posted:I will be starring in this film, along with a few friends. The story delves into the relationship of two brothers, one of whom has just discovered the dark pastimes of his best friend. Upon finding out about his younger brother's decent into this world, the other brother decides that he will stop at nothing to show his baby brother the damage he is causing to himself and those around him. This whole section is just such a clusterfuck, I don't know where to begin. I hope the younger brother's descent into this world involves trying to dig a hole to China or quicksand. 3. "This user has not connected their facebook. Website: Facebook.com." 4. Nothing says "give me money" like your project's picture being the most  Microsoft Word screenshot ever taken.
Just Burgs has a new favorite as of 03:34 on Jun 16, 2013 |
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Jun 16, 2013 03:24
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OmniDesol posted:3. "This user has not connected their facebook. Website: Facebook.com." I don't see why this guy needs a kickstarter when he's got Facebook backing him. 
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Jun 16, 2013 06:33
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lol someone bought a banner ad for this lovely anime kickstarter starring the author's self insert and all their gaia friends.
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Jun 16, 2013 08:03
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Here's another absolute kickstarter - blæck fashiøn - for the world's most underwhelming tshirt designs that are apparently going to be sold at a store in London if they can get enough funding. There's not even a video, just these awesome potential designs for their shirts:    I don't understand why people even need kickstarters for their shirts, just make an account on zazzle, cafepress, skreened or bigcartel and spend more time advertising and improving your art instead of hoping to somehow get a million dollars for some crappy clothes.
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Jun 16, 2013 08:17
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I dunno, I would wear the hell out of a shirt that has a crow on it that says "I am so drone, you are so drone". Actually, for some reason I am reminded of those Idakoos shirts. Does one of the other designs say "I'm the drone your mother warned you about"?
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Jun 16, 2013 08:25
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No, unfortunately it doesn't but that's a better idea than anything I think the people behind this kickstarter would ever come up with.
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Jun 16, 2013 08:30
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Is mouldy bread accompanied by directions to Di really that popular?
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Jun 16, 2013 13:35
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I think it's German for the bread, the.
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Jun 16, 2013 13:51
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Antitonic posted:Is mouldy bread accompanied by directions to Di really that popular? I thought i was a sponge. Actually poo poo, a death metal sponge would be pretty cool. It's telling that the guy can't even get a decent picture of the design up and most resort to horribly scanned images. Also his art and videos suck.
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Jun 16, 2013 17:29
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cyberia posted:Here's another absolute I tried to read his kickstarter... all I could think of was this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3A3NIWn_a4
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Jun 16, 2013 17:37
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cyberia posted:Here's another absolute Looks like this bloke got a bamboo drawing pad and thinks his next level conceptual drawings are fashionable enough to sell. Also the inverted cross thing is very overdone due to current rap culture using it so much.
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Jun 16, 2013 21:40
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b0red posted:Looks like this bloke got a bamboo drawing pad and thinks his next level conceptual drawings are fashionable enough to sell. Also the inverted cross thing is very overdone due to current rap culture using it so much. I would give this guy 5 bucks if he would explain the "DIE" Potato.
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Jun 16, 2013 22:08
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vxskud posted:I would give this guy 5 bucks if he would explain the "DIE" Potato. I think it's supposed to be a weathered gravestone.
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Jun 16, 2013 22:15
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Bad Munki posted:I think it's supposed to be a weathered gravestone. I think he just hates raisin bread. I can sympathize.
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Jun 16, 2013 23:59
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Dogdoo 8 posted:I think he just hates raisin bread. I can sympathize. "Oh sweet zucchini bread!" *cuts off a slice* *takes a bite out of it* 
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Jun 17, 2013 00:02
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Guys, shut it down, shut it all down, I've discovered the Worst Kickstarter. It's a PUA book by some redditor that somehow managed to break 12 thousand mother loving united states dollars of America. Here's his user page, where most of his recent posts are from the "ask me anything" thread he started after selling 600 copies of his self-published pickup manual that he has now, permanently and indelibly, linked to his professional real-life name. Surprise surprise, he's a nerd living in Japan. Why is it that dudes like this figure out how to get laid and suddenly act like they've stumbled across the true name of God?
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Jun 17, 2013 11:50
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Hahahahahaha what a piece of poo poo.
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Jun 17, 2013 11:51
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:Guys, shut it down, shut it all down, I've discovered the Worst Kickstarter. I like how there is a bonus chapter on juggling multiple relationships. So you can take your alpha bro'ness to the next level.
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Jun 17, 2013 12:08
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He boasts about his brevity in the campaign page, so it's probably one page photocopied and stapled into the back of his Lulu-supplied pre-orders: "Find two women who are okay with it." And then a photo of him shrugging. Seriously though every poly couple I know (I know too many) are also huge nerds. They go together like kilts and bacne.
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Jun 17, 2013 12:22
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:Guys, shut it down, shut it all down, I've discovered the Worst Kickstarter. quote:If $15,000 is raised, I will film a dramatic reading of my WWF/Sailor Moon fanfic and upload it to Youtube for all to see. KickStarter: 419eater.com in the PUA age.
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Jun 17, 2013 12:46
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quote:EARLY BIRD PHONE/SKYPE CONSULT: In addition to everything in the PHYSICAL BOOK level, I will confidentially consult with you over skype or the phone. You will be sent a brief survey to assess your sticking points ahead of time. One 30-minute session. It saddens me that there's enough people willing to give this piece of poo poo money. All these douchebags look the same, greasy and utterly unlikable and their advise is literally "try to gently caress any women you see!" I could guarantee a drat gym subscription would do anyone better than his dumb book. hemale in pain has a new favorite as of 13:28 on Jun 17, 2013 |
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