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Robert Denby posted:Biden Has Guy Named Worm Sit In For Him At Cabinet Meeting Yeah, nothing else is or will ever be as hilarious as Diamond Joe.
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Jul 25, 2013 22:28
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What the hell does she say at the end? Their video player is a little wacky.
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Jul 28, 2013 02:59
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DarkCrawler posted:Yeah, nothing else is or will ever be as hilarious as Diamond Joe. Diamond Joe is the main reason I hope Biden becomes President in 2016.
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Jul 28, 2013 03:44
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Civilized Fishbot posted:Diamond Joe is the main reason I hope Biden becomes President in 2016. Poor guy is just too old to bother running. 
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Jul 28, 2013 03:45
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He'll get a secretary job under President Clinton. He won't leave us.
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Jul 28, 2013 03:55
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Congress Fiercely Divided Over Completely Blank Bill That Says And Does Nothing This one is hilarious for how true it is 
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Jul 28, 2013 04:12
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colas posted:What the hell does she say at the end? Their video player is a little wacky. If you mean the news anchor, "Every time I hear a story like that, it makes me so glad I'm exempt from the legal system."
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Jul 28, 2013 05:22
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Here's a neat little story that is just good-natured, happy and sweet  Meteorologists Report Sky Just A Little Bluer Today, And It’s Because...
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Jul 28, 2013 07:49
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Jerusalem posted:Here's a neat little story that is just good-natured, happy and sweet This one was really nice. Sometimes I dislike how cynical and angry they've become and I start to really miss the mundane "area man"-style articles they used to do more often.
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Jul 29, 2013 09:08
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TheHan posted:I think my favorite articles are the ones that are about complete gently caress ups That one hit way, way too close to home. Edit: corrected mispelling Time_pants has a new favorite as of 12:11 on Jul 29, 2013 |
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Jul 29, 2013 10:03
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Time_pants posted:That one hit way, way too close to home. Vatican Quickly Performs Damage Control On Pope’s Tolerant Remarks Incidentally, this is the first I've heard of this good news.
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Jul 29, 2013 19:12
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Husband Experimenting With Open Marriage I almost thought this one didn't even need an article to accompany the title and picture, until I got to the last line
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Jul 29, 2013 19:36
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BREAKING: Lovers Lost In Fog
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Jul 30, 2013 00:35
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Robert Denby posted:Biden Has Guy Named Worm Sit In For Him At Cabinet Meeting The guy in the photo looks more like a Spider, or perhaps a Snake, to me.
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Jul 30, 2013 05:12
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As someone who genuinely enjoys going to the movies alone, I can relate to this guy: loving Loser at Movie All by Himself.
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Jul 30, 2013 19:01
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pkticker posted:As someone who genuinely enjoys going to the movies alone, I can relate to this guy:
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Jul 30, 2013 19:07
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This belongs in the top ten, good loving god they nailed it so hard.
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Jul 30, 2013 20:39
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Hanks Lust Cafe posted:This belongs in the top ten, good loving god they nailed it so hard. As far as literary pastiche, nothing tops Ask An Elderly Black Woman As Depicted By A Sophomore Creative Writing Major.
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Jul 30, 2013 20:45
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Quiet Loner Really Comes Out Of Shell At Gun Store
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Jul 30, 2013 21:13
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zoux posted:As far as literary pastiche, nothing tops Ask An Elderly Black Woman As Depicted By A Sophomore Creative Writing Major. Not as much as my terrible career prospects and the gnawing feeling that I'm going to die penniless on the streets, but it hurts nonetheless.
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Jul 31, 2013 04:49
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pkticker posted:As someone who genuinely enjoys going to the movies alone, I can relate to this guy: quote:“Sometimes I wish that the film that was about to come on the movie screen were one of the ones from the previews; wouldn’t that be cool if that happened once?” the man continued, in what reports indicate could possibly be one of the most utterly pathetic sentences ever uttered by a human being. gently caress I think I've had this thought before, time to die.
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Jul 31, 2013 06:50
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I'm disappointed in The Onion, it seems way more cutting to point out how ludicrous it is that watching a giant glowing rectangle in silence for two hours is considered a social outing.
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Jul 31, 2013 07:01
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Actually when you think about it, the article would still be better even with that change. Watching a giant glowing rectangle in silence for two hours is considered a social outing and he's still by himself.
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Jul 31, 2013 07:23
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Yeah. What's the deal with movies, huh gang? My favorite: http://www.theonion.com/articles/carpe-diem-says-man-who-spent-previous-day-masturb,2532/
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Jul 31, 2013 08:50
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...of SCIENCE! posted:I'm disappointed in The Onion, it seems way more cutting to point out how ludicrous it is that watching a giant glowing rectangle in silence for two hours is considered a social outing. I thought that was the joke, the guys not really that pathetic, its a summation of everything that makes people feel weird about going to the movie alone. You#re supposed to have Tatum Girlparts reaction. Just pointing out "hey, going to the movies isn't really that weird at all" isnt nearly as cutting or funny.
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Jul 31, 2013 10:54
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I really like how this one came after the alone at a movie theater one.
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Jul 31, 2013 17:07
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...of SCIENCE! posted:I'm disappointed in The Onion, it seems way more cutting to point out how ludicrous it is that watching a giant glowing rectangle in silence for two hours is considered a social outing. I have the Onion article you've been hoping for right here: http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-90-of-waking-hours-spent-staring-at-glowing,2747/
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Jul 31, 2013 17:14
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Dick Van Dyke Finally Confesses To Zodiac KillingsThe Onion posted:While only the first of the notorious cryptograms he coerced newspapers into publishing in 1969 was ever solved, Van Dyke confirmed that his identity would have been revealed had his later clues been deciphered, noting that one of the encrypted messages begins with the words “HI I AM DICK VAN DYKE FROM TV AND FILM I AM THE ZODIAC KILLER.”
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Jul 31, 2013 19:46
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History Of The Catholic Church’s Views On Homosexualityquote:1825: Group of men who abstain from female contact in favor of spending their entire lives in the intimate company of other men once again insist that other people not do that
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Jul 31, 2013 20:28
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Today I was looking at some articles tagged 'music'. Obama's Embarrassing Ska Album Resurfaces Staten Island Historians Piece Together Genealogy Of Wu-Tang Clan As always, the last line.
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Aug 1, 2013 00:56
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They could have gone down a very dark path with this one, but it turned out great. My Dad Is A Army Guy vs. I Am A Army Guy
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Aug 1, 2013 01:36
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Supreme Court Overturns Bush v. Gore "Great humility, honor, I'm President," Gore said to a crowd of tourists hastily shuffled into a White House corridor to hear the president deliver his acceptance speech. "Thanks, bye."
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Aug 1, 2013 02:02
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Check out this egg.
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Aug 1, 2013 22:40
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I was super disappointed when The Onion seemed to go out of print in NYC (and possibly everywhere?) but I have to admit that they're really making the most of the digital medium here.
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Aug 1, 2013 22:48
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Hanks Lust Cafe posted:I was super disappointed when The Onion seemed to go out of print in NYC (and possibly everywhere?) but I have to admit that they're really making the most of the digital medium here. The Onion is still in print for free in a lot of places - I can get it every day in Chicago.
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Aug 1, 2013 23:24
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Civilized Fishbot posted:The Onion is still in print for free in a lot of places - I can get it every day in Chicago. Also in Madison. They moved to the Midwest a year ago.
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Aug 1, 2013 23:28
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MRC48B posted:Also in Madison. They moved to the Midwest a year ago. Publication actually just stopped in Madison - although The Onion was founded by UW-Madison students about 25 years ago 
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Aug 1, 2013 23:42
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Really? crap. I was downtown a few weeks ago and picked up a copy from a paper box. 
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Aug 2, 2013 00:00
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They used to be in paper boxes everywhere in NYC, but I haven't able to find a copy in over a year.
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Aug 2, 2013 00:05
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What are some good classic examples to get an English friend into The Onion? I don't think the Royal Wedding stuff will work, a little too over the top.
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