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Phanatic posted:A former staff sergeant at Los Angeles Air Force Base, Calif., tried to get out of her physical training test by recruiting someone to stab her in the stomach. I've know people to roll their ankle on purpose but holy poo poo.
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Jul 23, 2013 01:07
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There was an LT in my company who "accidently" got "hit" by a car during the run portion of the PT test. I added those in quotations because he kind of just got himself nudged by a passing car. But holy poo poo, stabbed? I just faked diarrhea once.
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Jul 23, 2013 01:56
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i got arrested and missed 1 of mine A Good Excuse
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Jul 23, 2013 02:15
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mokhtar belmokhtar posted:i got arrested and missed 1 of mine Did you have to take leave to serve a sentence?
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Jul 23, 2013 02:17
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I ran one with pneumonia. I almost blacked out after the run, but I still passed. Went to the ER after and got some nice cough syrup and an instruction to not leave my house for the next three days and rest.
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Jul 23, 2013 02:17
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gleep gloop posted:Did you have to take leave to serve a sentence? no it was on base, the cops released me to my ship and the girl who i grabbed by the throat and threw out of my room was banned from base :^) (it was my roommates baby mama, this loving crazy fat australian chick who would come try to get in the room at all hours of the night) besides owning her the best part was the same day my CO comes up and goes "i heard you had an interesting night" and laughs.....i couldnt fuckin believe it but i swear its 100% true 0_o
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Jul 23, 2013 02:19
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mokhtar belmokhtar posted:no it was on base, the cops released me to my ship and the girl who i grabbed by the throat and threw out of my room was banned from base :^) (it was my roommates baby mama, this loving crazy fat australian chick who would come try to get in the room at all hours of the night) drat dude glad you didn't get hosed on that one. Take that feminism. My favorite stories are guys taking leave to go sit in jail. That's the funniest thing ever to me.
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Jul 23, 2013 02:23
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gleep gloop posted:drat dude glad you didn't get hosed on that one. Take that feminism. I had to take special liberty to go to court twice :/ Also yeah man like i was in the back of their poo poo, handcuffed and they were driving me away.........assumed i was going to the brig, they drop me off at the pier and hand me over to the duty chief lol
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Jul 23, 2013 02:24
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gleep gloop posted:drat dude glad you didn't get hosed on that one. Take that feminism. It's the only way to guarantee leave outside holiday stand down.
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Jul 23, 2013 02:25
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I had an e5 dropped off my staff duty desk one time literally carrying a note from my 1SG saying to babysit him until morning.
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Jul 23, 2013 02:26
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Haha moker u crazy
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Jul 23, 2013 02:36
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Beria posted:Haha moker u crazy Dude I can't express to you how little I gave a poo poo about life during those two years I think I'm seriously lucky to be alive after some of the dumb poo poo I did ~~~~junior enlisted~~~~~ *also got away with a ton because I was pretty good at work stuff :^) mokhtar belmokhtar fucked around with this message at 02:42 on Jul 23, 2013 |
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Jul 23, 2013 02:38
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I have a poo poo memory so some of the details might be off, but we someone go awol onboard ship. It was either on LHD-2 or LHA-5 sometime between 2005 and 2007. The moron in question had gotten in some kind of trouble and had his liberty restricted, extra duty, basically his life was about to suck more than usual. We happened to be underway at the time, and soon after he received the bad news, he just sort of disappeared. Man overboard gets called and we spend the rest of the day tearing the place apart and doing laps all over the pacific. Story goes that someone from his division was cleaning in their fan room (where the air conditioning and related ventilation ducting is for a given space) and kept finding wrappers and trash. After the second or third time the person doing the finding heard something, looked up, and there was the dumbass in question. He had built himself a little nest on top of some ducting near the ceiling in the back, and even had some snacks to hold over for the 15-30 days left until we got to wherever the hell we were going. Dude thought he was just going to survive on slim-jims and redbull until the heat died down, then just walk off the boat once we hit port and disappear properly. This was after the CO had given a heartfelt "he was a dedicated sailor and will be missed speech" over the 1MC, and wasted millions in fuel looking for him, so I imagine they seriously considered throwing him over just so it wouldn't have been a complete waste.
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Jul 27, 2013 16:54
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Well, they already did the right procedures, performed a memorial and probably informed his parents. As long as no one squeals, who would know?
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Jul 27, 2013 17:54
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Phanatic posted:A former staff sergeant at Los Angeles Air Force Base, Calif., tried to get out of her physical training test by recruiting someone to stab her in the stomach. Wow I thought the idiots at SOI would would hide in their wall locker to avoid PT were bad, this is a whole new level of avoiding... a 1.5 mile run, pushups and situps.
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Jul 28, 2013 23:09
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Okay I get the stabbing part, but why stomach? The gut is a pretty sensitive area and if her stabber punctured her just at the right place, she could be wishing her whole life that all she ever did was fail a physical test instead of hiring someone stab her in the drat digestive system.
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Jul 31, 2013 04:29
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I know right. Why not the leg or something, or the meaty part of the rear end? I mean people can milk a rolled ankle for weeks a legit stab wound will get you months. It makes the plan that much more baffling.
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Jul 31, 2013 09:09
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Megabuttes posted:Okay I get the stabbing part, but why stomach? The gut is a pretty sensitive area and if her stabber punctured her just at the right place, she could be wishing her whole life that all she ever did was fail a physical test instead of hiring someone stab her in the drat digestive system. Do you think someone who would get another person to stab them so they can avoid doing a few pushups and a little run is thinking about any of that?
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Jul 31, 2013 09:24
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friend of the family DEATH TURBO posted:Do you think someone who would get another person to stab them so they can avoid doing a few pushups and a little run is thinking about any of that? Maybe not an airmen but I know I had this conversation way back when I was a Lance Corporal...
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Jul 31, 2013 09:26
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Megabuttes posted:Okay I get the stabbing part, but why stomach? The gut is a pretty sensitive area and if her stabber punctured her just at the right place, she could be wishing her whole life that all she ever did was fail a physical test instead of hiring someone stab her in the drat digestive system. Because the only way to get out of the abdominal circumference portion of the AFPT is to either be pregnant or have had recent abdominal surgery. Something tells me she wasn't exactly the most svelte of people and knew she would bust that portion, so stab to the stomach means surgery, which means no abdominal taping.
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Aug 2, 2013 21:55
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Lazy Reservist posted:Because the only way to get out of the abdominal circumference portion of the AFPT is to either be pregnant or have had recent abdominal surgery. Something tells me she wasn't exactly the most svelte of people and knew she would bust that portion, so stab to the stomach means surgery, which means no abdominal taping. Most abdominal surgery doesn't actually get that exemption. You have to get something beyond your average laparotomy to have a prayer, and even that tiny possibility is a very recent addition. I have a hard time imagining surgery that would get you an exception that wouldn't just result in con leave instead.
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Aug 3, 2013 03:20
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Lazy Reservist posted:Because the only way to get out of the abdominal circumference portion of the AFPT is to either be pregnant or have had recent abdominal surgery. Something tells me she wasn't exactly the most svelte of people and knew she would bust that portion, so stab to the stomach means surgery, which means no abdominal taping. According to her linked in and google+ profiles, she's not that bad in terms of the BCA -- she would have easily passed the rope & choke. Seems she might be coming off the postpartum waiver though. Mighta been her first PRT since delivering her child and she just panicked, having not done any PT since being diagnosed as pregnant.
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Aug 3, 2013 05:30
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKlQyPOiRuE I want to join the Saab aviation military.
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Aug 4, 2013 02:02
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Swedes truly are idiots.
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Aug 4, 2013 04:04
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aidsMONKEY posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKlQyPOiRuE Don't turn against each other, brothers, cause we can not let that happen. Kingdom formation, intention GBU, strategic desire, to keep them safe, matrix eagle one. SAAB pilot posted:There's a man here! Haha, holy poo poo, this video is awesome. There's gotta be a bunch more ridiculous military videos. You guys should make a thread.
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Aug 4, 2013 07:56
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aidsMONKEY posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKlQyPOiRuE Vad fan röker SAAB egentligen?
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Aug 4, 2013 11:10
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The weird thing is they actually did a good job with the air-to-air comms. That was a decent picture call, although they anchored the opposite group from what they wanted, and the flight lead that decided to have the escorts BEHIND the strikers is a moron.
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Aug 4, 2013 17:35
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Godholio posted:The weird thing is they actually did a good job with the air-to-air comms. That was a decent picture call, although they anchored the opposite group from what they wanted, and the flight lead that decided to have the escorts BEHIND the strikers is a moron. Please consider swedish OPSEC thank you. 
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Aug 4, 2013 18:06
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Swedish war plan: Get our pilots killed. 
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Aug 4, 2013 18:18
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Where the hell do sweedes go to fight black people anyhow?
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Aug 4, 2013 18:22
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Godholio posted:Swedish war plan: Get our pilots killed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkgShfxTzmo
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Aug 4, 2013 18:22
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Baloogan posted:Where the hell do sweedes go to fight black people anyhow? We import them from Ethiopia, but I shouldn't be telling you this.
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Aug 4, 2013 18:24
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Baloogan posted:Where the hell do sweedes go to fight black people anyhow? Biafra
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Aug 4, 2013 18:32
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iyaayas01 posted:Biafra  (best resolution I have at the moment)
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Aug 4, 2013 18:41
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http://www.businessinsider.com/david-cenciotti-russia-simulated-a-massive-aerial-attack-2013-4
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Aug 4, 2013 19:00
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Some  highlights from the trial of this shitbag I used to work with.quote:On Thursday, two of Greene’s alleged victims, who were sisters ages 10 and 8 at the time, took the stand to give emotional testimony of their alleged sexual abuse while in Greene’s care. quote:The girl also told of another time that Greene allegedly encouraged her to strip to her underwear and nap on a futon in his apartment. She said Greene then lied down next to her and kissed her on her underpants. quote:The younger sister also alleged that Greene had placed his hand on her crotch while giving her a ride in his Jeep. Apparently he doesn't think being a child rapist is a deep enough hole to have dug oneself into, and he's accused all his victims of being liars. Also he bought that Jeep with his GTC, and then didn't pay it off on time. Remarkably he was still kept around for a while after that.
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Sep 13, 2013 05:39
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What the gently caress was the credit limit on that GTC? 
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Sep 13, 2013 16:34
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Godholio posted:What the gently caress was the credit limit on that GTC? I got in trouble because I got a hamburger on my travel day and they forgot that it was my loving travel day.
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Sep 13, 2013 17:26
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Did government travel cards used to be really easy scam and recently changed or something? I've personally witnessed about 4 people get in trouble with GTCs. From buying a ton of booze, to paying rent, making car payments and strip clubs. All four of these people thought they wouldn't get caught.
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Sep 13, 2013 18:01
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gleep gloop posted:Did government travel cards used to be really easy scam and recently changed or something? I've personally witnessed about 4 people get in trouble with GTCs. From buying a ton of booze, to paying rent, making car payments and strip clubs. All four of these people thought they wouldn't get caught. The only thing I heard of that can wipe your steps is doing an ATM withdrawal and buying with cash, but even then you're supposed to have receipts or something. And now I'm imagining the cost of a Jeep divided by ATM max withdrawals multiplied by service fees.
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Sep 13, 2013 18:06
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