Cross posted from the freeper thread in D&D:Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:
This guy lives in a weird rpg-world where roving gangs of black people are random encounters that attack you even if you're holding a loaded shotgun.
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# ? Aug 7, 2013 16:53 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 18:57 |
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Is 'pop a cap in your rear end' a real thing that real people actually really say any more (really)? I'm going to assume it's not. Also the way it's written it sounds like the guy is threatening to 'pop a cap' in his own rear end, which is much less of a threat than it is an invitation for some Jackass-style light entertainment. Edit: or some kind of euphemism for anal I guess vaguely has a new favorite as of 17:58 on Aug 7, 2013 |
# ? Aug 7, 2013 17:01 |
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I had a dude threaten to pop a cap in my rear end once. However, he was a super nerdy white guy who didn't even own a gun, so...
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# ? Aug 7, 2013 17:04 |
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wilderthanmild posted:Cross posted from the freeper thread in D&D: That second one where apparently three black people threaten to shoot him while he's just holding a shotgun. He just has a shotgun on him at all times because like the constitution says a well-organized militia,
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# ? Aug 7, 2013 17:58 |
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This reads like a middle school skit.quote:
And here's a joke swiped from some crummy stand-up comic in Hell: quote:
Hahaha ohh that was so funny. And here's a companion to it: quote:
And finally, a true American! quote:
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# ? Aug 7, 2013 20:57 |
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Khazar-khum posted:This reads like a middle school skit. Uh, those first two things sound 100% plausible and most likely happened. People are loving stupid.
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# ? Aug 7, 2013 21:05 |
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Khazar-khum posted:This reads like a middle school skit. This happens at my job at least once a week, except with dumber questions. Nothing about this is all that implausible.
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# ? Aug 7, 2013 21:19 |
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Bucket Joneses posted:Uh, those first two things sound 100% plausible and most likely happened. People are loving stupid. Yeah, I've dealt with people like that when I was a cashier. I had one customer who wanted me to pick out shoes for her kids, then decide if they were comfortable and a good fit for them without the kids trying the shoes on first. Then when I convinced to try the shoes on they wouldn't give an opinion at all, the three of them just kept looking at me to decide whether the shoes were a comfortable fit. And some people just can't seem to settle on anything, so they'll just hammer you with question after question about whatever it is they're comparing. Now of course none of the other customers yelled some kind of snappy comment in response to these things either.
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# ? Aug 7, 2013 22:31 |
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quote:Me: “Good morning, thank you for calling Tech Support.” I worked at one call center for two months and on more than one occasion, someone called up asking pretty much this exact thing. Myth plausible.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 01:13 |
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Speaking of which, I worked a tech support job for a while and people don't seem to understand that "is it plugged in/did you try turning it off and on" isn't just a formality. Like, the reason tech support people ask those questions is because people are loving stupid. So you may scoff and go "yeah, duh, why wouldn't I have tried that" but there are lots and lots of people who are too afraid of breaking something or too dumb to know that the computer won't turn itself on.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 01:28 |
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CJacobs posted:Speaking of which, I worked a tech support job for a while and people don't seem to understand that "is it plugged in/did you try turning it off and on" isn't just a formality. Like, the reason tech support people ask those questions is because people are loving stupid. So you may scoff and go "yeah, duh, why wouldn't I have tried that" but there are lots and lots of people who are too afraid of breaking something or too dumb to know that the computer won't turn itself on. I worked in a university library, and the number of Nobel Prize winners who can't operate a photocopier is extraordinarily high.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 02:53 |
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 04:55 |
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That's right bitch. I own property. Who's the irresponsible mother now? Oh wait, it's still me.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 04:58 |
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Revenge subreddit posted:I wish I could say this is my story, but it's not. This one is courtesy one of my closest friends. For reference I'll be referring to him as "BP". Slightly not safe for work, I suppose...I'd rather tag it and it not be, than not tag it and have someone's boss walk up and read it
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 06:55 |
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Relationship burns are so dumb. This is how dumb they are. Djeser has a new favorite as of 08:09 on Aug 8, 2013 |
# ? Aug 8, 2013 08:06 |
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Djeser posted:Relationship burns are so dumb. This is how dumb they are. Green text stories are a joke. They are not meant to be taken as real.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 10:19 |
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crowfeathers posted:Green text stories are a joke. They are not meant to be taken as real. Every other page someone has to mention this. Can someone add it in the loving thread title "STDH.txt: My son got slapped at Wallmart and green stories are fake.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 11:38 |
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crowfeathers posted:Green text stories are a joke. They are not meant to be taken as real. Even though this story is obviously a troll, not every green text story is fake. They may have started out like that but now a lot of people use them as real stories/stdh
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 17:23 |
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Mr. Mallory posted:Even though this story is obviously a troll, not every green text story is fake. They may have started out like that but now a lot of people use them as real stories/stdh This is the header of /b/ - Random The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. Then again, the link is from a blue (SFW) board, and /b/ isn't one of them, but still greentext is suspicious. Has the (non-greentext, but still 4chan) story about anal beads been posted?
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 17:36 |
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That story wasn't serious? Thanks guys. Once again goons display their crack knowledge of when things are jokes.quote:(I’m a girl looking around the movie section of a popular superstore. A male customer happens to be walking next to me through the aisle. I am wearing a Power Rangers/Pokémon crossover t-shirt. Traditionally, the red Power Ranger is the male team leader, while the pink is the ‘girly girl’ or stereotypical ‘chick’.) "I keep Mass Effect in my car's glovebox for the bon mot opportunities." While yes, there are awkward guys who would totally say sexist things to you while trying to make conversation, no, you did not have a super-suave comeback. On another note, and I'm sure this has been brought up before, whenever someone's geek cred is questioned, they always defend themselves with fairly mundane things. No one uses encyclopedic knowledge of Farscape or their Animorphs experience or the fact that they own Ultima VII to defend themselves. I guess it's the same thing with Queen--you don't get any cool points if no one gets your reference, so when you're making up your story, you stick to the beats that everyone will be familiar with. Though I guess Power Rangers is a little outside of the usual milieu.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 17:44 |
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Djeser posted:Relationship burns are so dumb. This is how dumb they are. Real or not, the last comment in there about eating out made me laugh out loud.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 18:25 |
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Djeser posted:That story wasn't serious? Thanks guys. Once again goons display their crack knowledge of when things are jokes. I know that when I'm at Walmart I'm constantly checking everyone's shirts to make sure the decoration matches my perception of him or her. One time, I saw a guy wearing a Duck Dynasty shirt and he didn't even have a beard! Without missing a beat, I told him to grow a beard immediately. He looked at me dumbfounded, then apologized and walked away. Everyone in the toilet paper aisle with us saw it and came up and hugged me, and Sam Walton's ghost appeared and gave me the key to the city and a lifetime supply of Duck Dynasty gear. We're still married today.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 18:37 |
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Djeser posted:That story wasn't serious? Thanks guys. Once again goons display their crack knowledge of when things are jokes. "Bring me 5 liars WITH ATTITUDE!" And with that piece of amazingly witty referential humor, the whole thread erupted in a massive outpouring of clapping and celebration. And, as they placed the King Nerd crown upon my head, I was finally vindicated for all those years I spent "wasting" my childhood (gently caress you mom and dad).
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 18:50 |
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Starts with this meme: http://i.imgur.com/env0Yiy.png His justification:
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 20:27 |
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synthetik posted:Starts with this meme: All of these people only think about dialing 911 in retrospective. None of them actually dealt with cops (not even corrupt ones!) all of them just realize that "in retrospect" they should have actually done something useful .
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 21:08 |
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Nope.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:02 |
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dregan posted:
You just beat me to posting that. I think memes aren't usually supposed to be taken as truthful but the way reddit writes and presents them breaks that rule. gently caress Queen.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:04 |
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Telemarketers are allowed to listen to music on the job? That seems... Counter productive.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:13 |
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At least it wasn't Bohemian Rhapsody this time.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:26 |
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vaguely posted:At least it wasn't Bohemian Rhapsody this time. That's what they played at their wedding.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:31 |
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A real Queen fan would have picked something like Stone Cold Crazy or Somebody To Love anyway. *pushes hipster glasses further up nose*
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:32 |
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Soulcleaver posted:A real Queen fan would have picked something like Stone Cold Crazy or Somebody To Love anyway. *pushes hipster glasses further up nose* Wow your nostrils must be loving huge.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:35 |
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FrozenVent posted:Telemarketers are allowed to listen to music on the job? That seems... Counter productive. At one of the first call-centres I worked at they had an in-house radio station piped through speakers in the ceiling that played a list of ~2 dozen insipid pop songs, on shuffle, interspersed with the company jingle and 'motivating' 'ads' about the importance of hitting your KPI's and being the best little company drones you could be. The list of songs was updated every couple of weeks so for days at a time you would hear the same songs and ads a dozen or more times a day. The sales team for the company also worked on the same floor as the call-centre and had a ping pong table in the middle of their cubicles and they would have loud, passionate ping pong tournaments on their lunch breaks including shouting and cheering while they played gently caress, that was nearly ten years ago and it still raises my blood pressure just thinking about it.
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# ? Aug 8, 2013 23:52 |
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# ? Aug 9, 2013 10:56 |
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Little girl: Mumble mumble mumble mumble? Mickey: *confused nod* Fin
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# ? Aug 9, 2013 10:59 |
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some STDH posted:Yes. Leave. Just get out as fast as you can. And don't call it giving up. Call it getting out.
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# ? Aug 9, 2013 13:43 |
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dregan posted:
Well, he has to make up for all the other sales he's lost because someone picked up the phone while he was shrieking into it.
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# ? Aug 9, 2013 14:32 |
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Non Serviam posted:All of these people only think about dialing 911 in retrospective. None of them actually dealt with cops (not even corrupt ones!) all of them just realize that "in retrospect" they should have actually done something useful . I like how the poster also thinks it's a good idea for a person who can't swim to just dive in to the deep end of a pool to save the kid. Because why stop at one when you can have TWO people senselessly drowning? And if this was a public pool, I didn't realize they normally operated at night with no lifeguard on duty.
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# ? Aug 9, 2013 15:10 |
r/fatpeoplestories posted:Or the story of how I got almost fired tonight.
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# ? Aug 9, 2013 19:05 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2024 18:57 |
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"wild tenderloin beast" would be a rad name for a metal band
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# ? Aug 9, 2013 19:20 |