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Alereon posted:My coworkers have developed the perfect strategy for this: if they encounter any computer problem or strange behavior, they reboot their machines. If that doesn't fix the problem, they reboot their machines AGAIN, and will simply keep rebooting and trying again until it works or someone tells them to stop. This is especially the case for network problems or things like not being able to access a mapped network drive. When I first arrived at this job someone gave me a list of issues that had gone on since the last guy worked here and how they had been solved. Apparently at one point they were having email trouble and the solution was that someone rebooted the server....3 times. This is an old server 2003 machine that takes between 5-10 minutes to boot up fully.
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Aug 19, 2013 17:09
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Nope. If any of you have ever heard of my company I'd be shocked as all hell.
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Aug 19, 2013 17:16
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My boss got back from vacation and said, "You did a great job handling the chaos last week. Heard a lot of compliments about your patience and customer service. Good work." Wasn't expecting that. 
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Aug 19, 2013 17:19
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Came back to the office today after being out sick for a couple of days. Our "DBA" (nominally in charge of both our SQL Server and Oracle environments) has decided to enable auditing on the SQL Server because security has been nagging him to do it to address some audit gaps. How did he configure it? Oh he just took all the defaults. So the application log for the host is now wrapping approximately every 20 seconds and retaining zero auditing data. (Our app logs are set to 20Mb and over wrote as needed; we then archive them once a day. This is usually more than adequate.) When this was pointed out to him and using a separate log file suggested, he replied: "To increase the server application log allowing space size or backup event log to a file every 20 seconds or reduce the auditing item are ways to go. To redirect the log to a file has the same disk space issue and we also don't have application to read the file." We're using built in SQL Server auditing which (surprise!) can indeed read its own log files. He also did zero estimation of the necessary disk space to store the 90 days of audit logs he needs to have available... So just dumps everything into the event log so the cjs have to deal with it.
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Aug 19, 2013 17:30
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Migishu posted:Bill the CIO for the missing laptops, then when he comes to complain, tell him that if Fuckstick McGee isn't going to be responsible, then the person who authorized unlocking the laptops is. No, the CIO is the dude who authorized Fuckstick McGee's Most Excellent Brain Solution to the problem of I COULDN'T MOVE A LAPTOP TWO FEET TO THE LEEEEFT WHHHHHY. He has now proceeded to make the situation my team's fault, because we're responsible for keeping tabs on hardware, but has explicitly stated we cannot do this by re-deploying the loving locks we were using to successfully do so in the first place. This CIO is also the dude who could not figure out that the sticker on the back of the mifi we gave him that said "Password: abloobloobloo" meant that "abloobloobloo" was the password to access the loving mifi. Dealing with that situation made me strongly suspect that the man is a complete illiterate. To give you some perspective, at this 2000+ employee, multi-office firm, there was ZERO hardware asset tracking until January of this year. But! We rolled out Windows 7 last summer, when a huge number of machines were replaced. If you had the brains god gave a loving peanut, you would think, "Hey, maybe we should do this massive, physically-locate-all-hardware asset project concurrently with this massive, physically-replace-and/or-image-all-hardware, to save a whole bunch of manhours and kill two birds with one stone!" Yeah, we got to do each bit separately, and then be bitched at by the lost hardware between the Win7 rollout and the asset management project, 6 months later. This also led to some fun discoveries, like our Hong Kong office (employees: 13) managing to stockpile 50+ laptops for no earthly goddamn reason, since only 3 users in that office even used laptops. That said, I have had two phone interviews so far and have another one on Wednesday. Also? This is by far and away not the worst job I've ever had. 
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Aug 19, 2013 18:26
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The Macaroni posted:My boss got back from vacation and said, "You did a great job handling the chaos last week. Heard a lot of compliments about your patience and customer service. Good work." Wasn't expecting that. Wait, what? You received a kudos from a boss for a job well done? What you are saying makes no sense. 
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Aug 19, 2013 18:28
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Agrikk posted:Wait, what? You received a kudos from a boss for a job well done? The boss is yet to realise that the project didn't get done.
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Aug 19, 2013 18:36
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user: I need access to this module! Here is the email from our C-Level saying I can have it me: What specific transactions in the module do you need access to? user: I don't know, I guess just give me all of them. me: I can't give you access to all of them, could you please tell me which ones you specifically need? User then goes to the C-level, who calls my boss, who calls me and tells me to give the user whatever access they want. At this point, it does not matter how much I argue, or what convincing I attempt, the user gets everything eventually. drat am I tired of this happening. You would think, after the last time a similar request played out and that user took down our production system for 6 hours, that management would learn. If anyone knows how to convince the powers that be that security does not mean that everyone has access to everything if they ask, could you clue me in please? Also, is this now the appropriate thread to say gently caress Printers?
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Aug 19, 2013 18:48
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The access thing is no fun if your boss doesn't have your back.
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Aug 19, 2013 19:03
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Anybody here use Bomgar for remote support? I alternately love it and hate it. We use it for our corporate customer support. I love how simple it is to get connected with a customer. Send them an email link or a session key. They download and run the client. Boom, I'm in. And once I'm in, it tends to Just Work. I don't like using it to transfer sessions, though. I don't know if our IT guys set it up wrong or what, but all of our logged-in agents are only listed by their first name. There's NO way to tell two Sams apart, or two Erics. Sucks because I'm one of the duplicates. There's a 50/50 chance that a session someone tries to transfer to me ends up in the wrong place. And my duties are literally like no one else's: if it doesn't get to me, it doesn't get fixed. Also, it seems to randomly use a lot of resources on the clients' machines. Once in a while I have a customer's machine that drat near locks up using it. CPU and memory usage go through the roof.
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Aug 19, 2013 19:04
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Sham I Am posted:user: I need access to this module! Here is the email from our C-Level saying I can have it Get it in writing/text/email from your boss to give "whatever they want" as far as permissions go. Then attempt to determine what exactly they want with them one more time, once again getting it all in writing. After giving them everything because that's that they ask for, save all of this in a folder on desktop labeled "I Told You So". Break it out when things go up in flames.
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Aug 19, 2013 19:28
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Sham I Am posted:Also, is this now the appropriate thread to say gently caress Printers? Pretty sure every thread is appropriate to say gently caress printers. Because gently caress printers.
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Aug 19, 2013 19:36
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God dammit lady, you do not spill liquid on your $1500 laptop, frying it and then while I'm getting you a loaner ask me if IT will get you a $2500 Macbook Air. Some loving stones you have.
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Aug 19, 2013 19:54
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Kuros posted:God dammit lady, you do not spill liquid on your $1500 laptop, frying it and then while I'm getting you a loaner ask me if IT will get you a $2500 Macbook Air. Got any spare 60GB netbooks laying around? 
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Aug 19, 2013 19:56
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Kuros posted:God dammit lady, you do not spill liquid on your $1500 laptop, frying it and then while I'm getting you a loaner ask me if IT will get you a $2500 Macbook Air. I am not sure I can think of a macbook air configuration that would cost much more than 2k.
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Aug 19, 2013 19:57
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Kuros posted:God dammit lady, you do not spill liquid on your $1500 laptop, frying it and then while I'm getting you a loaner ask me if IT will get you a $2500 Macbook Air. does she want like a 512Gb SSD in it or something? $2500 is a ridiculous number for a macbook air. A retina pro on the other hand is very doable.
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Aug 19, 2013 19:59
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b0red posted:does she want like a 512Gb SSD in it or something? $2500 is a ridiculous number for a macbook air. A retina pro on the other hand is very doable. Knowing some of the users I deal with, she would want the retina pro. But the price is beside the point, just the fact she asked about getting a Mac after she destroyed her Dell computer pissed me off.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:01
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Kyrosiris posted:Pretty sure every thread is appropriate to say gently caress printers. Because gently caress printers. I still say the OP needs a "gently caress printers" blingee gif that uses that exploded laser printer image.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:07
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Kuros posted:Knowing some of the users I deal with, she would want the retina pro. Get her a Panasonic Toughbook and call it a day. She can spill all the water on it she wants.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:08
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couldcareless posted:Get it in writing/text/email from your boss to give "whatever they want" as far as permissions go. Then attempt to determine what exactly they want with them one more time, once again getting it all in writing. After giving them everything because that's that they ask for, save all of this in a folder on desktop labeled "I Told You So". Break it out when things go up in flames.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:12
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Oh Backup Exec, how come when you come across a single B2D file that you don't like you take the Datadomain offline. Just skip it, it's ok we can move past it, just let me know you had an error on that one later, don't loving bail, cmon baby I won't hurt you. Nope, kicks the entire Inventory job out and puts the Datadomain offline. Properties doesn't show any read errors in it, but it won't let me inventory it and I can't erase the file. Hooray for and Other Duties on a job description 
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Aug 19, 2013 20:12
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I don't even sweat printers anymore. I convinced management to go with this printer supply company that charges 10% extra for toner but repairs all printer for free, which includes both labor and parts. It's a loving godsend. I email those guys whenever a printer isn't printing correctly and it's all off my desk.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:15
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Amazon has been down for about 20 minutes now. (They just put up a "sorry" landing page finally but it was a 404 for 10 minutes). Wow.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:16
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Lum posted:I still say the OP needs a "gently caress printers" blingee gif that uses that exploded laser printer image.  A minor effort made.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:18
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Everyone just needs to live out the printer beating from Office Space.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:22
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Kuros posted:
Wasn't the printer image I had in mind, but somehow that purple ink works better.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:28
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Orcs and Ostriches posted:Everyone just needs to live out the printer beating from Office Space. One of our online editors (gently caress yeah IT support for TV) had a external HDD that kept making GBS threads out on him. As soon as his cut was finished we yanked the thing out of the enclosure, grabbed a crowbar and let him have the first swing. Also gently caress Final Cut Pro's mysterious General Error while rendering and exporting. Is it a corrupt render? A missing file? A hosed up a effect? Who knows! Just keep trying something until it works! pr0digal fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Aug 19, 2013 |
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Aug 19, 2013 20:31
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I just put in my two week notice. That was one of the more nerve racking things I've done in recent memory. I've been here a long time. T-minus 1 hour 20 minutes until liquor. 
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Aug 19, 2013 20:40
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This happened Friday An email came in for our team, mandatory conference call this afternoon An hour later I get a call from my boss "I no longer work for the company, I've been fired. But I've talked you up during my exit interview so hopefully you will get my old position" Conference call happens and the firing of my boss was announced The national director has schedule a one hour call with each member of our team. Cue me spending this afternoon gathering info, politicking with the other reps, and putting together everything for my call tomorrow Little do they know that if I don't get this job, I'm gone in a little over 2 years
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Aug 19, 2013 20:53
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I feel so honored, got my first honest to goodness non-ironic "do the needful ticket". I never thought it would feel so good.
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Aug 19, 2013 20:56
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ShadowStalker posted:This happened Friday You're going to punish them by working them for another 2 years? Seems like an OK punishment for them...
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Aug 19, 2013 21:04
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AlexDeGruven posted:I feel so honored, got my first honest to goodness non-ironic "do the needful ticket". When I changed jobs in December '12, I spent almost 4 solid weeks taking calls & making them to an office in Mumbai relating to various levels of SAP bollocks. I heard that phrase nearly every 15 minutes. As some form of *witty joke*, I started saying it back to my users in the UK, as well as putting it into incident text after getting back to local support. More than one praised my usage of "innovative, clear phrasings" during support calls.
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Aug 19, 2013 21:06
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MF_James posted:You're going to punish them by working them for another 2 years? Seems like an OK punishment for them... I was going to say, this seems on par with "writing a sternly worded letter to the editor that doesn't name companies but implies them heavily" in terms of threat levels.
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Aug 19, 2013 21:07
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And it's a busy day for me, it seems. An IM came in (from my wife): quote:ugh
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Aug 19, 2013 21:12
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MF_James posted:You're going to punish them by working them for another 2 years? Seems like an OK punishment for them... Have to pay down my house before I leave. Just bored with this job and there's nowhere to go except for a few field management positions or move to our corporate office in Washington state (I do not want to move there). Whether this position opened up or not, I was leaving by December 2015. My old boss knew it already but I had a great relationship with him. He was actually the best boss I've ever had since I started working 18 years ago. Put more time and effort into my professional development than all my other bosses combined. He just made some bad decisions. ShadowStalker fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Aug 19, 2013 |
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Aug 19, 2013 21:13
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ShadowStalker posted:Have to pay down my house before I leave. Just bored with this job and there's nowhere to go except for a few field management positions or move to our corporate office in Washington state (I do not want to move there). Whether this position opened up or not, I was leaving by December 2015. My old boss knew it already but I had a great relationship with him. He was actually the best boss I've ever had since I started working 18 years ago. Put more time and effort into my professional development than all my other bosses combined. He just made some bad decisions. Washington state is pretty nice, if it is West of the Cascades.
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Aug 19, 2013 21:29
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ShadowStalker posted:Have to pay down my house before I leave. Just bored with this job and there's nowhere to go except for a few field management positions or move to our corporate office in Washington state (I do not want to move there). Whether this position opened up or not, I was leaving by December 2015. My old boss knew it already but I had a great relationship with him. He was actually the best boss I've ever had since I started working 18 years ago. Put more time and effort into my professional development than all my other bosses combined. He just made some bad decisions. If you're in this thread, I can pretty much guarantee you'll find something better in commuting distance inside 2 years. Besides, what were you planning on moving to in 2015, if not another job in the same area?
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Aug 19, 2013 21:52
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AlexDeGruven posted:And it's a busy day for me, it seems. Wouldn't she be bottomless as well if she's on the toilet?
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Aug 19, 2013 21:58
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Ursine Asylum posted:If you're in this thread, I can pretty much guarantee you'll find something better in commuting distance inside 2 years. No, the wife and I are moving 750 miles north to Northern Virginia in 2 years to be close to my family. My job is pretty good for pay, flexibility, and hours worked. I've just been doing it for 11 years and I'm so bored and not challenged at all. Most of my friends say I've got a dream job but I don't see it that way. I'm starting my MBA in January and should be done in 18 months. I'm hanging around for 2 more years to complete the MBA and pay the house down so we can sell it for what we owe (drat housing market) I'm a field engineer for a medical device company and our work is about 40% IT work, expected to shift to 60% in the next 5 years.
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Aug 19, 2013 22:08
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if we're talking wife tickets I recently got "my computer is running like it's 1997" boot to osx install disc, repair permissions. and almost every other night "I can't use plex" Which leads to another 30 minute show of "hit activities on remote, hit use ps3, hit button on controller, go left to video, go down to plex HUZZAH!"
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