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The story is the group commander came by the other day to say that idiot boy had been found guilty, and wanted to know if everyone was feeling alright. The thing is she bailed him out of his GTC mess with a personal loan (Extremely loving illegal), and had him acting as her assistant during the aftermath because nobody else on base wanted to deal with him. She's really a great officer, but then goes and does something like that and it just boggles the mind.
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Sep 20, 2013 22:58
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Casimir Radon posted:The story is the group commander came by the other day to say that idiot boy had been found guilty, and wanted to know if everyone was feeling alright. The thing is she bailed him out of his GTC mess with a personal loan (Extremely loving illegal), and had him acting as her assistant during the aftermath because nobody else on base wanted to deal with him. She's really a great officer, but then goes and does something like that and it just boggles the mind. Maybe they were having a relationship behind closed doors, in which case, it wouldn't be the DUMBEST thing I've hear of for a secret romance.
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Sep 20, 2013 23:06
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Wasabi the J posted:Maybe they were having a relationship behind closed doors, in which case, it wouldn't be the DUMBEST thing I've hear of for a secret romance.
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Sep 20, 2013 23:12
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Update to the status of Hurt Locker: One of my instructors was telling us today about how his buddy would get laid all the time by using that movie. Whenever he was asked what he did he would tell them he did what The Hurt Locker was based off of. Worked all time so I guess there is a benefit to having that movie for EOD techs.
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Sep 21, 2013 00:40
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Hey guys, I lurk in here since I never served, but I love reading about military history and geopolitics, and almost all of the males in my family are vets. My mom's uncle was a Marine in WWII, Korea and Vietnam, my grandfather was a Korean War vet from '51-'53, my uncle received a bronze star and purple heart in 'Nam, and my dad was a vet of the Cold War from '62-'66 who spent the days after JFK was assassinated having a staring contest with East Germans and Soviets with dogs on the Czech border. 50 Foot Ant, your stories are amazing. This thread is hilarious and makes me think of story time with my dad from when I was a kid. He was in the 535th Engineering Company out of Mannheim, and goddamn are some of yours similar to what I've heard. I think those stories played no small role in my ultimate decision not to enlist after 9/11 and things were relaxed, and holy gently caress do I need to find the old Marine recruiter here and shake his hand for steering me away in '97 or '98 because of a bad knee and Lymes disease, plus the Clinton cutbacks. Dude did me a solid I never really appreciated until now.
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Sep 21, 2013 02:20
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Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:02 on Mar 31, 2017 |
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Sep 21, 2013 04:46
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We used to hide out during Thursday training in the old Nike sites in Kitzingen (Larson Barracks). Am I going to die?
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Sep 21, 2013 05:42
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So the vibe I've gotten from the last few pages was that if the Soviets ever actually invaded Europe everyone would've been completely hosed even before the nukes started flying. Unless the Soviet Army had an equivalent idiot to soldier ratio, in which case it would have been the funniest war ever.
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Sep 21, 2013 05:51
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Fojar38 posted:Unless the Soviet Army had an equivalent idiot to soldier ratio, in which case it would have been the funniest war ever. It was greater, believe it or not. We found out a lot of hilarious (and terrifying) things about USSR incompetence after 1989. 50FA, you oughta watch Buffalo Soldiers. It's probably inaccurate as hell, but it's the only movie I've ever seen that actually showed the Cold War Army (especially USAREUR) as a bunch of criminals.
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Sep 21, 2013 05:55
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GD_American posted:(especially USAREUR) as a bunch of criminals. that didn't change after the cold war
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Sep 21, 2013 06:03
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I'm not sure what units my dad was in, but I know from the bit of talking with him that he was in ordnance and junk like that while in Germany. That explains why he's such an alcoholic.
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Sep 21, 2013 06:14
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The defector writing under the pseudonym Viktor Suvorov has told an awful lot about how hosed up the Red Army was during Cold War days. You think US Army was bad ? There was no booze in the Red Army, yet somehow they managed to have a severe alcoholism problem. I'd recommend The Liberators, which is his account of the occupation of Czechoslovakia, and The Aquarium, which his account of his time in the GRU. Fantastic stories and very well told - he had a very good ghostwriter/translator/partner. Inside the Soviet Army is replete with accounts of conscript troops putting shoeshine on bread to soak the alcohol out or radar equipment being cleaned with gasoline so they could drink the cleaning fluid. By his accounts a huge chunk of the Red Army was absolutely incompetent. I'd say there's a good chance at least half of the army wouldn't have made it as far forward as hostile contact, so 50FA may not have been in as much danger in wartime as he expected. The best story to demonstrate the level of training is this. Suvorov commanded a motor rifle company. He had only one BMP driver good enough to pass the tough tests, so at inspections that poor SOB got switched through every vehicle in turn to stand in for the drivers who could barely get the thing into gear. I'd like to see a WW3 novel where hot war starts in Europe and immediately turns into a clusterfuck of poor planning and worse execution, just stories of whole formations that are their own worst enemies.
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Sep 21, 2013 06:30
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One of my Uncles was in the 10th Special Forces Group at Bad Tolz during the 1950's. He had a bunch of crazy stories from that time period but he died 6 years ago so I've forgotten most of them. One of them though was about a spat of breakins by 10th Group guys after a few of them went through a lock picking course. Stole a bunch of the local Germans' alcohol. Though I'm not sure if these guys could be considered idiots, from what I understand none of them were caught in the act.
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Sep 21, 2013 06:43
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50 Foot Ant posted:My personal favorite about idiots is and always will be this loving Captain from 1st Cavalry. Sounds like you guys ate well that night.
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Sep 21, 2013 11:29
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I spent my conscription in the north of Norway in 1999-2000. The cold war bullshit was still present, I can only shudder at the thought of how bad it must have been in the eighties. We were supposed to be operational in our "alpha-area" within 4 hours of the alarm sounding, and we all knew flight time from the russian border was about 10 minutes. (So, less than the 15 minutes scramble time of the RNoAF ready fighters). Our expected survival was a whooping 8 minutes. (I always wondered where those drat numbers came from. Every conscript in every unit could quote "their" numbers, and it was always stupidly low, but gently caress knows how much of it was just made up. We all took pride in our low numbers. The lower the number, the more high speed you were. It was kind of a ranking system. Low numbers means you're a high priority target for the Russians, and that means they think you're dangerous or some such bullshit.) Every bridge in the north of Norway was built with pipes though the brigehead and pylons on the southern sides. Pre made charges were stored in nearby bunkers and dedicated home guard units had as their one and only mission to prep and blow the bridges. They would then be killed or captured ofc. but nobody gave a drat. Total war. I think quite a few people who just heard this story didn't belive it, but we were engineers so we got the manholes and the bunkers pointed out to us when we were on the road. Had to be able to do demolitions on short notice after all. Nobody told us but we all pretty much knew that if a russian armoured breakthugh was imminent the front would probably be nuked by NATO. We too got it drilled trough our heads that the mission was to hold for 72 hours untill US troops could be flown in to Trøndelag and mobilize with the fuckoff huge equipment piles stored in the "nuclear proof" mountain halls.
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Sep 21, 2013 11:50
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50 Foot Ant posted:So let's talk about idiots on a wider scope. This will be a LONG post, but I'm kind of compelled to put it in here, with the idiots, because it was idiocy at the highest levels down to the newest private. Don't ever apologize for the length of your posts. 
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Sep 21, 2013 16:25
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Oxford Comma posted:Don't ever apologize for the length of your posts. This. Almost makes me consider buying my dad an account for his awesome Air Force 1968-1994 stories, but I'm afraid he'd stumble into GBS or E/N and... things would happen.
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Sep 21, 2013 16:34
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Nostalgia4Infinity posted:This. I'm pretty sure your dad knows that you're gay.
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Sep 21, 2013 16:45
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Mr. Nice! posted:I'm pretty sure your dad knows that you're gay. Although stumbling across that nutella dick story would sure be a hell of a way to find out.
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Sep 21, 2013 17:15
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Mr. Nice! posted:I'm pretty sure your dad knows that you're gay. 
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Sep 21, 2013 17:18
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Mr. Nice! posted:I'm pretty sure your dad knows that you're gay. He does, he asks me constantly when boyfriend and I are getting married.
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Sep 21, 2013 18:31
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Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:08 on Mar 31, 2017 |
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Sep 21, 2013 20:58
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No words...should have sent a poet
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Sep 21, 2013 21:12
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Please never stop posting
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Sep 21, 2013 21:14
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50 Foot Ant posted:Good loving god! You know, sometimes, I kinda wish the military was as much of a cluster gently caress now as it seems to have been back then. Seems like a mindfuckingly silly fun time.
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Sep 21, 2013 22:10
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:No words...should have sent a poet By God, they did, and he's telling us idiot stories.
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Sep 21, 2013 22:19
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50 Foot Ant posted:I got caught break-dancing on top of stacks of MRLS rounds by a General (Still having my nervous break-down), who yelled at me to "GET THE gently caress DOWN, YOU MANIAC!" and challenged him to come up and make me. He took off his top, climbed up on the stack, and fought me in glorious hand to hand combat for the right to be "GOD-KING OF THE SITE!" while all of the privates I'd been given stared in shock and the long time members of the crew laughed and cheered. (He beat me and threw me bodily off the top of the 3-high stack and proclaimed himself the "Undisputed Overlord of All Officers Everywhere EVER" at the top of his lungs) I think he may have been crazy too. That's the type of general I want leading us into war. And yeah, that sounds about right for a PCP rampage. PCP is no loving joke.
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Sep 21, 2013 22:49
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I understand drugs for feeling good and I understand drugs because you are addicted to the drug, but I do not understand PCP because it sounds like neither of those. Hmm bored. I could sit around and watch tv, I could smoke some weed and feel good and watch some tv, or hell, smoke this other stuff and them commit felonies and get either killed or arrested. Yes, let's do that last one, that is the plan. Also pretty sure all 50 foot ant's stories are fake, because that is what he does, but whatever.
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Sep 21, 2013 23:10
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50 Foot Ant posted:So I should just have sent a private or myself over to slap the hook without the grounding rod when I'm being ordered by an officer to do something I know good and goddamn well could kill one of us? Old but high five external sling load buddy! I've had to tackle more than one dumb officer/snco. Question, though: Have you ever clipped the grounding end of the static wand to the static man's belt loop on a Frog (CH-46)lift just to watch them shock the poo poo out of themselves?
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Sep 21, 2013 23:18
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Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Mar 31, 2017 |
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Sep 21, 2013 23:43
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Jesus Christ, what was your MOS? What the gently caress did you do?!
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Sep 21, 2013 23:46
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What the poo poo are a harness and a grounding belt? Maybe USMC just doesn't use them, because I've never even heard of them. No way would I want to be attached to the ground if I needed to get the gently caress out from under an Osprey quick. Ours was/is about the same level of good equipment, but we would take the copper wire off the copper rod and attach it to unsuspecting boots on cool, dry days with birds that don't carry (as) much of a charge.
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Sep 22, 2013 00:31
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Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Mar 31, 2017 |
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Sep 22, 2013 00:36
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mllaneza posted:The defector writing under the pseudonym Viktor Suvorov has told an awful lot about how hosed up the Red Army was during Cold War days. You think US Army was bad ? There was no booze in the Red Army, yet somehow they managed to have a severe alcoholism problem. The Mig-25 used pure alcohol to cool the radar and avionics. This was frequently diverted to other uses.
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Sep 22, 2013 01:19
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NightGyr posted:The Mig-25 used pure alcohol to cool the radar and avionics. This was frequently diverted to other uses. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsFzeX-k1_E
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Sep 22, 2013 01:42
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NightGyr posted:The Mig-25 used pure alcohol to cool the radar and avionics. This was frequently diverted to other uses. Hence the nickname "the flying restaurant".
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Sep 22, 2013 01:45
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50 Foot Ant posted:and a section that I'm pretty sure is still covered by OPSEC 20 years later just outright disappeared as if it never existed. hosed up thing that yeah, they OPSEC'd it on my exit briefing, but nobody would believe it anyway because it sounds like the ramblings of a paranoid maniac. Please tell me the secret is boring so it will stop driving me nuts.
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Sep 22, 2013 11:29
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Probably something related to missing WMDs, I would guess. When they went to police up various SF and gladio-type stay behind caches, a bunch of them were missing a lot of equipment, possibly even a few nominally man-portable nuclear devices. Turns out that putting a shitload of equipment in a bunker and then trusting local right-wing political groups with the location wasn't the best idea. People may have also forgotten where some of the older stay behind caches are. Officially, this never happened. Then again, neither did the rest Gladio program. 
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Sep 22, 2013 12:08
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In basic and during CBRN training we had a guy with a straight face ask our 1st Sergeant if it was true that vodka helped against radiation. Same guy during the same lecture asks what form mustard gas comes in. Liquid, gas or solid.
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Sep 22, 2013 13:26
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Entry removed. Short story: lots of Field Grade Officer bullshit. The Flipperbaby fucked around with this message at 08:34 on Sep 24, 2013 |
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Sep 22, 2013 13:56
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