Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

I don't know if this will be useful to anyone but it's helped me explain the debt ceiling to people.

Throughout the year, Congress had authorized spending, they've debated and compromised, they've made cuts and changes and were eventually able to agree to spend a certain amount.

Now that it's time to actually pay, Republicans in the House won't agree unless they get a do-over on Obamacare.

This is like getting a new job, they offered you $8.00 an hour but you were able to get them to agree to $9.00, let's say you agreed to work weekends or graveyard shifts as part of that deal.

Now it's payday and your boss doesn't want to write you a check. He wants you to agree to $7.75 and then he'll make a deal.

Do you and your boss share the blame in this "negotiation?"

No. The time to negotiate was back when the funding was authorized, not on Payday, not when you've got a bill due in 14 days that will ruin you financially if you don't pay.

If this happened to you, you'd be saying "no changes to the deal, no negotiations, no conference. Write me a clean check to pay for what we already agreed to."

And when you looked in the mirror, you'd realize that your name is Albert Einstein.

# ? Oct 1, 2013 20:48

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# ? May 12, 2024 22:45

Knight: Dec 23, 2000; SPACE-A-HOLIC; Taco Defender

I flipped poo poo at the office today because one of the office managers handed out this to several employees asking about the health exchanges. She apparently received it as an email forward with "IRS" in the title and thought it was legit, not reading the parts where it blatantly asks "Are you an illegal immigrant?" warns you of "severe financial penalties and interest against your personal property" and says that you can disregard the form if Romney is elected.

Oh and something else... the huge "NOT AN IRS FORM" watermark in the background.

# ? Oct 1, 2013 21:39

Dirt: May 26, 2003

Knight posted:

I flipped poo poo at the office today because one of the office managers handed out this to several employees asking about the health exchanges. She apparently received it as an email forward with "IRS" in the title and thought it was legit, not reading the parts where it blatantly asks "Are you an illegal immigrant?" warns you of "severe financial penalties and interest against your personal property" and says that you can disregard the form if Romney is elected.

Oh and something else... the huge "NOT AN IRS FORM" watermark in the background.

That's either hilarious or sad. I'm not sure.

All I have had at work today is a huge dose of "both sides are wrong". It makes me sad.

# ? Oct 1, 2013 21:44

OAquinas: Jan 27, 2008; Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.

Ratmtattat posted:

I've got a guy doing the "Democrats had 6 years to pass a budget and couldn't" line. Any references I could use to point out to them the filibustering that went on and how many times it went on?

Edit: Even with my terrible Google-Fu, I found this one as a starting point:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bob-cesca/republicans-filibuster-ev_b_2018663.html

They haven't passed an omnibus bill in years, true. But they have passed appropriations bills since then (as we haven't shut down until now). The Omnibus Budgets are just lots of appropriations bills wrapped up in one big one.

Plus all the filibustering, etc etc...the point is the government has been funded as normal; just not as conveniently wrapped up in a single bill as it has been due to the most obstructionist senate minority in national history.

# ? Oct 1, 2013 22:02

Soviet Commubot: Oct 22, 2008

Knight posted:

I flipped poo poo at the office today because one of the office managers handed out this to several employees asking about the health exchanges. She apparently received it as an email forward with "IRS" in the title and thought it was legit, not reading the parts where it blatantly asks "Are you an illegal immigrant?" warns you of "severe financial penalties and interest against your personal property" and says that you can disregard the form if Romney is elected.

Oh and something else... the huge "NOT AN IRS FORM" watermark in the background.

Literally every person at work today asked me "What the hell is wrong with your country?". Sometimes being the only American around sucks.

I hope at least some of the people who post this sort of thing are bitter and angry when the American people don't magically realize that they don't need government and throw off their statist chains.

# ? Oct 1, 2013 22:10

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Got the latest sent at me as a response to me saying that people are going to starve due to lack of foodstamps due to the government shutdown. Rebuttals? On the surface, an anecdote about one fraudster is not fraud statistics, most programs have work requirements/deal with kids/the disabled/the elderly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP_izYhdehY

I started engaging with this person when they referred to the government shutdown as "withdrawal".

The latest gem from this person is that even better than the government shutdown is the refusal to raise the debt ceiling.

Yes. You read that right. Even better. :ancap:

This is an Israeli commenting about it. Israel has many bad points, but turns out that unicameral parliamentary democracy gets things done, even if they're terrible! So.. it's kind of jarring seeing apologetics for the US system in Hebrew.
Meanwhile, the Americans in my feed only raise this issue to complain about how the results will affect them.

My personal opinion is that both Republicans and Democrats are terrible for various reasons, but in this case it's a basic governance issue. Why should anyone involved with the US government take any decision Congress makes seriously if they are liable to defund it at the last moment over bullshit? This is why they don't do the cutting-edge high-energy physics here anymore. Republicans are just bad at government, period. If I were an accelerationist Marxist, I would salute them. :ussr:

ETA: Someone from the same thread linked to this:

Israeli Freedom Movement posted:

America: The Federal Government has been shut down. For more than an hour.

Absurd Alhazred fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Oct 2, 2013

# ? Oct 1, 2013 23:30

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

My biggest crush from Jr. High posted this. Looks like I dodged a bullet.

Comes from a Facebook page called "Barack Obama's Dead Fly" which is filled with all sorts of hilariously awful poo poo.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 02:14

PrinceRandom: Feb 26, 2013

Was there ever a "Slavery Law" passed? Didn't the Gag Rule prevent any Legislative Discussion on Slavery? I'm pretty sure that the majority of slavery was an "Unspoken Law" of the land.

Of course that's dismissing the Elephant in the room that idiots are comparing cheaper Healthcare to Slavery.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 03:01

AShamefulDisplay: Jun 30, 2013

I just wanna call the dude out for the dogwhistle racism, but I dont think he would get it.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 04:01

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

Dirt posted:

That's either hilarious or sad. I'm not sure.

All I have had at work today is a huge dose of "both sides are wrong". It makes me sad.

There's wrong, and then there's WRONG.

http://chem.tufts.edu/AnswersInScience/RelativityofWrong.htm

# ? Oct 2, 2013 04:01

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

AShamefulDisplay posted:

I just wanna call the dude out for the dogwhistle racism, but I dont think he would get it.

There was a great edit of this earlier in the thread that replaced the bottom silhouette with one of an elderly person with a walker. It was great, I hope somebody reports it.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 04:12

Mister Bates: Aug 4, 2010

Hey guys, I caught a live one! One of my girlfriend's Facebook friends posted this to her wall.

quote:

Sharing from another source......But agree 100%

Hope and Change (were we not thinking of the same things?)

For now, it doesn�t bother most Americans that the government is shut down. Most of them could care less really and that shouldn�t be a surprise. Just ask any combat veteran of any recent war and they�ll tell you �When I was at war, America was at the mall�� So most of America might think that this is just another Tuesday but the patriots who love liberty are seeing the writing on the wall� And here's what I mean by that:
Every week the government shuts down, 0.15% is shaved off of annualized GDP. This will hurt the economy, but it won't be immediately painful. A drop in GDP affects a lot of things--like food production and importation. Lord Cameron of Dillington, a farmer who was the first head of the Countryside Agency in the UK coined the phrase "nine meals from anarchy" meaning, the typical western family has enough food in their home to feed their household for 3 days... or nine meals. If things begin to collapse, like in Greece, after those nine meals, honest, hard-working tax-paying citizens become criminals to help their families survive. And it's not as if a government shutdown should be a surprise.
If by October 17th there is not a continuing resolution and budget the US will go default on her debts�that�s when we reach our �debt ceiling�. When we hit the debt ceiling on Oct. 17, Treasury will lack the legal authority to borrow any more money to close the gap between spending and tax revenue. Not to mention that when debt goes up, the fed will be forced to print even more money which will decrease the value of the dollar even more than it�s already devalued since 2006. This causes inflation to rise exponentially which means you pay more money for less stuff�a lot more. Today however, every time we turn around, the media is doing its best to make all of us get angry at each other instead of Washington. Just look at what the Martin / Zimmerman case did for unity. In my opinion, we need to concentrate on getting along better, pay more attention to what's going on and read between the lines. Obamacare is a mandate that makes Americans draw deeper lines in the sand between each other. Click here to see how bad it isn�t going to be according to the mainstream media. Are you going to believe them or are you going to start paying attention and using your own brain to connect the dots?
It�s called the �Affordable� Health Care Act, but �Affordable for whom? Tell me, why have members of Congress not adopted the Act for themselves especially if it�s such a good thing for individuals and America as a whole? Are they not citizens too? �Obamacare will increase spending for a typical family of four to $7,450 over an 8-year span�, that�s why. Think about it, who wants their health to be in the middle of that bureaucratic nightmare?
So who does this new law benefit exactly?
For years, insurance companies lobbied Congress to not be held financially responsible to cover people with preexisting conditions. Those people have high health costs and their problems eat into an insurance company�s profits! Obamacare provided a way for those companies to cover those pesky preexisting conditions without eating in to profits. Consequently, it also covers people who couldn�t give a drat about their health. It also keeps the non-profit hospitals from constantly footing the bills for the millions of drug addicts visiting every Emergency Room within a 100-mile radius, for example.
So who is going to pay for it? Full-time working, healthy individuals who have done everything correctly and currently already have insurance, that�s who.
Hope and Change (were we not thinking of the same things?)
If you currently already maintain health coverage, consider this: The new health law curbs factors that insurance companies can consider in setting premiums and insurers are barred from using your health history to set rates (sounds pretty good, eh?).
Your plan will not feature higher premiums because you are sick (one of the things it fails to mention is that you won�t get lower premiums because you aren't sick either). Instead, rates will be determined by three factors: age, place of residence and number of people in your family.
I can see the wheels eventually turning: �Wait, what? Age? So if I'm as healthy as an ox but over 60 I get charged in accordance with rates used for the most unhealthy 60 yrs olds throughout the entire nation? And gender isn�t a factor? But men live on average, 7 years less than women by virtue of many things� Like the way testosterone affects the circulatory system� and they�re drinking habits and stress levels! I�m being FORCED to pay higher health care premiums based off of fat, unhealthy, heart attack-having rednecks from nowhere even though I�m an organic eating, yoga practicing, 60 year old female tri-athlete??!!� Short answer: yes. You voted for him, get used to it.
For you folks in REALLY red states, (Like Oklahoma, where every single county voted Republican) you might want to strap in. For folks in Oklahoma City and the surrounding metro area, "place of residence" means that according to USATODAY, Oklahoma City is the most unfit metro-area in the United States. OKC has been in the bottom 5 of 50 cities in the U.S. for 5 years straight with the last two being dead-last. �But how can that be? You�re saying that OKC overall is less fit then Detroit or Jackson, MS?
But how?�
According to the data, some of the criteria used to measure a city�s overall level of health and/or fitness was conducted using something called �Personal Health Indicators.� That�s right, these are �personal� determinations, like �the amount of dog parks and swimming pools per capita� or �percentage of city land vs. park areas.� I am not kidding; those are some of the �personal health indicators� used in the study. Consequently, the twin cities landed first place as the healthiest place to live in the US. They also voted blue since 1932. These results were published by AFI, or American Fitness Index, released by ACSM or American College of Sports Medicine and. This research and the findings were financially backed by the "non-profit" organization called Wellpoint, through their charitable arm, the Wellpoint Foundation, which received, (without disclosing singular, private contributions) just more than $122 million in local and national grants last year alone. Since the advent of Obamacare, lobbyists have been chomping at the bit to make their lobby-investments pay positive dividends. Among the most aggressive in its lobbying efforts was WellPoint, the second largest health insurance company in the nation according to Fortune Magazine. That�s right, they sell health insurance� but not to Oklahomans��they don�t offer it there. Last quarter, WellPoint spent $1.25 million lobbying on health issues, down only slightly from $1.5 million in the first three months of the year (those are quarterly lobbying dollars, not annual). During
Hope and Change (were we not thinking of the same things?)
that same period, WellPoint's own overall medical loss ratio was 82.9 percent � that is, 82.9 cents of every patient dollar were spent on medical care but somehow they had millions to lobby with every quarter (yeah, they�re non-profit alright).
I can hear it now: �What does any of this matter?� It matters because organizations like JFK University of Government (an arm of Harvard) used these findings to help support Obamacare by �reporting the number of individual lives covered by various health insurance organizations in the United States.� This means that on 1 October, 2013, when it becomes actually mandated, Oklahomans are going to pay higher premiums for health insurance because OKC spent land and money on a Bombing Memorial instead of a dog park.
This law is not good. Worse, it pins society against each other on another front. As rates rise, healthy people are going to eventually become privy to the fact that they are paying more for health insurance they don�t need so someone who appears unhealthy (on many occasions, fighting against something they have no control over, like genetics), or who appears to be doing an unhealthy act can have the same, if not better coverage and at a fraction of the cost. At this rate, the X-games may as well cancel!
So who do we blame?
But both sides of the aisle are being boneheaded for not bending. But regardless, the wheels of motion have already begun spinning and won't be stopped either way�because one side HAS to bend for it to stop and everyone wants to be re-elected when the smoke clears. Constituents of conservatives never wanted Obamacare. But they haven�t had representation to combat it prior to November, 2010 when Republicans regained control of the House and it�s not as if the House could have, out of nowhere, just brought up the idea of shutting down Obamacare at any time they chose (because at that point, it�s just people whining about something they don�t like). Their first opportunity and the only way they could combat the idea of Obamacare was to propose a one-year delay, tied to the continuing resolution�which they did. The Senate said �You�re crazy, HELL NO!� So now, both sides are holding America�s financial clout hostage because it�s come down to a fundamental difference in beliefs. Obama said on more than one occasion �help spread the wealth� and that�s what the Affordable Health Care Act does: it takes money from people who have it and gives the money to people who don�t and who feel entitled to it. This originates from many different things, one of which is that a quarter of the people who�ll reap the benefits of Obamacare, think they�re getting �free� health care from the government, not from the already working, tax-paying citizens. It�s true! Opinion Research Corporation, a demographic, health, and market research company based in Princeton, New Jersey conducted a poll in March of 2009 and found that 24% of Americans think "The government has its own money."
So you can't act like Republicans signed and agreed to Obamacare in by announcing "This law was passed through the house, got 60 votes in the senate, was signed by the Pres... It�s the law!" It�s the law of the 24% who think the government is giving them this health care for free, it is the law of the 129
Hope and Change (were we not thinking of the same things?)
million Americans who can�t get health care due to pre existing conditions and it�s the law of the nonworking and already
uninsured.
As stated, Republicans didn't regain control of the house until November of 2010. This means that the people they represent weren�t represented while the Liberals were writing this law for all of America. Democrats were in control of everything (Presidency, House and Senate) in March of 2010, when it passed so don't try to make it look like conservatives had anything to do with it passing. It�s their job to have a stand-off about this and represent their constituents.�even if it means a government shutdown.
It's no different than the bailouts and TARP funding: Announce to everyone that we'll be filling wheel barrels with money for a single loaf of bread unless we bail out corrupt corporations that ended up failing and/or going bankrupt anyway all to delay the inevitable. But just because you tie someone's hands to coerce them in to doing something doesn't mean they whole-heartedly agree with the outcome. (And surely you liberals know what I'm talking about, right? I mean don�t try and say you didn�t feel disenfranchised when Gore lost the election with a majority of the popular vote.)
Even the majority of Federal workers (who are severely and personally affected directly by a government shutdown) don�t want this health care act. And if you think for a moment that the majority of Americans have their fingers pressed more firmly against the political button of America than Federal workers whose livelihood actually depends on decisions of Washington then you�re living in a fantasy.
This is a pivotal moment in American history and future generations will judge us by our resolve or lack thereof. It�s the responsibility of conservatives to dispute this law tooth and nail and for as long as it takes. This law will immediately destroy a liberty--a freedom of choice and I can�t see how, if it passes, we avoid it contributing to an eventual demise of our economy and free market�not to mention, a new kind of hatred between Americans toward each other.
We only run the risk of a collapse sooner if the democrats, who made it a law, refuse to find an alternative to Obamacare and choose to defund it for a year while they concoct a solid plan that represents all of America, not just their constituents. If Republicans do their job and hold steadfast through this shutdown, then in a little more than two weeks, on October 17th, the US will go default on her debts. Although that�s no guarantee that it�ll lead to a worldwide financial panic and a massive global depression, it�s also honestly no guarantee that it won�t. Nobody knows what will happen because that�s never happened before. One thing is certain: funding Obamacare could prove disastrous and going default on our debts could prove to be disastrous. Only if the Senate opts to delay funding the law for a year, as the House proposed, and find an alternative which represents all of America can we be guaranteed a glimmer of real hope and change.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 04:30

CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

Sigh.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Oct 2, 2013 05:54

miscellaneous14: Mar 27, 2010; neat

"OBAMACARE SUCKS SO MUCH THAT THE IDIOT THAT CREATED IT DOESN'T WANT IT"

Wow, I've seen some disingenuous lines of argument before, but that's taking it to a new level.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 06:01

The Dark One: Aug 19, 2005; I'm your friend and I'm not going to just stand by and let you do this!

miscellaneous14 posted:

"OBAMACARE SUCKS SO MUCH THAT THE IDIOT THAT CREATED IT DOESN'T WANT IT"

Wow, I've seen some disingenuous lines of argument before, but that's taking it to a new level.

I'm sure the guy at the Heritage Foundation who proposed it in the mid-90s is feeling pretty bad right now.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 06:11

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Talking to my father today, it's strange to see him take his usual "All politicians are crooked, but also I vote straight Republican" stance. Primarily because he works for federal law enforcement and is now doing so without pay indefinitely, and my sister who is in the same field is now on unpaid leave. She has two kids and suddenly no way to pay her bills.

But yeah, no, please continue supporting the party that has now actively hindered you and your family's livelihood, and who I'm just sure will willingly approve backpay after their gently caress-up gets fixed some days or weeks from now. This poo poo is too loving depressing

# ? Oct 2, 2013 09:12

myron cope: Apr 21, 2009

What is the "sneaky abortion clause"? Is that like something where if you can get into a clinic/doctors office/hospital without being detected that you get a free abortion?

Didn't Republicans (and a bunch of Democrats) make double sure that abortions wouldn't be part of it? Or something with insurance had to offer it but are precious tax dollars wouldn't cover it?

# ? Oct 2, 2013 10:06

OAquinas: Jan 27, 2008; Biden has sat immobile on the Iron Throne of America. He is the Master of Malarkey by the will of the gods, and master of a million votes by the might of his inexhaustible calamari.

myron cope posted:

What is the "sneaky abortion clause"? Is that like something where if you can get into a clinic/doctors office/hospital without being detected that you get a free abortion?

Didn't Republicans (and a bunch of Democrats) make double sure that abortions wouldn't be part of it? Or something with insurance had to offer it but are precious tax dollars wouldn't cover it?

The Hyde amendment is still law. No federal dollars can go towards abortions. Even gay abortions, much to the chagrin of smart elephants everywhere.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 10:40

Laranzu: Jan 18, 2002

Welp this is what we're up against. I don't even know what some of those words are. Two posts down she says "Sorry, autocorrect changed my words". I'm sorry but autocorrect doesn't make non-words.

Edit:

FEMA Region 3!!!!

SOME TRUCKERS SAW THINGS! WHY WERE THEY DELIVERING EMERGENCY SUPPLIES TO FEMA!?> THE UN!!

Laranzu fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Oct 2, 2013

# ? Oct 2, 2013 13:32

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

God dammit UN, hurry up and take over already, I'm tired of waiting.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 14:15

Neptr: Mar 1, 2011

VideoTapir posted:

God dammit UN, hurry up and take over already, I'm tired of waiting.

Your state or local government needs to be on board with Agenda 21 first, so that they can accommodate the UN troops.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 14:18

Knight: Dec 23, 2000; SPACE-A-HOLIC; Taco Defender

seiferguy posted:

Comes from a Facebook page called "Barack Obama's Dead Fly" which is filled with all sorts of hilariously awful poo poo.

This page is a wonder. About a week ago they put up an image macro of Bush hugging a man in fatigues declaring that Obama would never do this. The page then started getting flooded with the thousands of photos of Obama hugging enthusiastic troops to which the page creator tried starting a different argument before deleting all the replies with images in them.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 14:22

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

seiferguy posted:

My biggest crush from Jr. High posted this. Looks like I dodged a bullet.

Comes from a Facebook page called "Barack Obama's Dead Fly" which is filled with all sorts of hilariously awful poo poo.

Slavery was legal ... in the CSA's Constitution :smug:

Anyway, what's the 'joke' in the name "Barack Obama's Dead Fly"? I don't get it.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 14:29

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

gradenko_2000 posted:

Slavery was legal ... in the CSA's Constitution

Anyway, what's the 'joke' in the name "Barack Obama's Dead Fly"? I don't get it.

It's a reference to the time he slap-killed a fly on some daytime talk show. I don't get why it's funny either though, aside from unintentionally.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 14:34

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Neptr posted:

Your state or local government needs to be on board with Agenda 21 first, so that they can accommodate the UN troops.

UN troops need walkable cities because their electric humvees don't have much range.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 15:18

JakBauer: Nov 13, 2003; BAH BAH BAH

From a Patriot/civics expert on my FB feed

I keep hearing people talking about the members of the house that have taken the GOP caucus "hostage."

I guess that this is really the fundamental difference between a pure Democracy and a Republic. If 30-40 reps in the house have a constituency that agrees enough with them that they were sent to congress, then those 30-40 reps aren't just the whining minority who should shut up and sit down. They're the voice of the people who they represent who aren't happy with the status quo. The Republic that we have, with our bi-cameral legilsature, was designed to give certain powers to the people and certain powers to the states. Thus the devision between the House and Senate. Any resolution that pertains to finance has to originate from the House, and as much, has to be acceptable to "the people." If the States (the Senate) are filled with such hatred for the people that they won't even consider the Continuing Resolutions that keep being put in front of them, how can the 30-40 reps that are the voice of the people be blamed for the problem that we're having? Our system was designed so that gridlock would ensue when the majority refuses to consider the voice of the minority. The minority HAS A VOICE! THIS IS A REPUBLIC! It's the responsibility of the Senate to take up a CR passed in the house and bring it to the floor for a vote! Take it to a conference committee with the House and come to a compromise! You can't negotiate when the other side is completely petulant and refuses to take their fingers out of their ears until they get exactly what they want, and not a drop less, regardless of who is silenced or disenfranchised as a result of it. The failure here lies with the majority. Not with the vocal minority who refuse to be silenced. This IS the way that our government was designed. It is our leaders decision, at this point, to govern by crisis.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 16:14

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

JakBauer posted:

You can't negotiate when the other side is completely petulant and refuses to take their fingers out of their ears until they get exactly what they want, and not a drop less, regardless of who is silenced or disenfranchised as a result of it.

Yes, that does seem to a problem we're having right now, doesn't it

# ? Oct 2, 2013 16:19

Hulk Krogan: Mar 25, 2005

I've seen a number of people pull that "The Senate won't even consider the House CRs" line, but isn't that uh...completely false. I mean yeah Reid is immediately moving to table them as they come but that still requires a vote, correct? If the Senate wanted to consider the CRs they could vote against tabling them, but they're not. Do I have that about right?

# ? Oct 2, 2013 16:23

Keshik: Oct 27, 2000

A cousin just posted an RIP Tom Clancy to facebook, effusive with praise. I feel like trolling the Texas conservative wing of my family by copy pasting the absolutely worst, most horribly racist and shitheaded Clancy quote possible. Any suggestions?

# ? Oct 2, 2013 16:33

Strom Cuzewon: Jul 1, 2010

I finally got one in the wild. Just appeared on Facebook.

quote:

POLICE INFORMATION

The first bit is mainly for women, but gents , please read it and send it on to any women you care about. The second bit is a warning to all of us!

Some sound advice for us all, as we all sometimes forget to take our commonsense with us when we go out.
This is from Northants Police Women.....

Please read, and pass on.

An important message from the Police -
please pass this along to all the women you know.....

This actually happened a few weeks ago on the M3 FLEET SERVICES!!!

It was early evening, and a young girl stopped to get petrol. She filled her tank and walked into the store to pay for her petrol. The cashier told her, 'Don't pay for your petrol yet......walk around the store for a while, and act as if you're picking up some other things to buy. A man just got into the back of your car. I've called the police, and they're on their way'.

When the police arrived, they found the man in the back seat of the girl's car and asked him what he was doing. He replied, he was joining a gang, and the initiation to join is to kidnap a woman and bring her back to the gang to be raped by every member of the gang. If the woman was still alive by the time they finish with her then they let her go. According to the police that night, there is a new gang forming here, originating from London . The scary part of this is, because the guy didn't have a weapon on him, the police could only charge him with trespassing....

He's back on the street and free to try again. Something similar to this happened at the Tesco garage on Cardiff Road in Newport recently, but luckily the cashier saw the man get into her car. Please be aware of what's going on around you, and warn your family and friends.

LADIES, you or one of your family or friends could be the next victim. Please forward this on to everyone you know. Please do not discard this message; it is very important that everyone knows what is happening. Please be careful when leaving your vehicle, and make sure it is ALWAYS LOCKED to prevent this from happening to you.

MET POLICE

In light of the recent kidnapping and now murder of Leigh Mathews, I think it is important to read the following info for your own safety. Things women should know to stay safe: Please take the time to read these pointers. There may be just one or two you hadn't thought of. After reading this, forward it to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. if a robber asks for your handbag, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you..... He is probably more interested in your handbag than you, and he will go for the handbag. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. if you are ever thrown into the boot of a car: Kick out the back tail lights, and stick your arm through the hole and start waving. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their cheque book, or making a list). DON'T DO THIS! A predator could be watching you and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, and attack you. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in car park:

a) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, look at the passenger side floor, and check the back seat.

b) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most attacker’s surprise their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the shop, or work, and get guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the lift instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone, and the perfect crime spot.

7. if the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT BE A VITAL ORGAN

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women, He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another safety point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her, 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way. Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes, thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls from women saying that they hear babies' cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life.

It's clearly an American one (predator, store, tank, Ted Bundy) with UK places badly inserted (the Met don't work in Hants, what are London gangs doing in Newport?) and then someone has bizarrely referenced a 9 year old south african murder.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 16:46

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Keshik posted:

A cousin just posted an RIP Tom Clancy to facebook, effusive with praise. I feel like trolling the Texas conservative wing of my family by copy pasting the absolutely worst, most horribly racist and shitheaded Clancy quote possible. Any suggestions?

Just be aware the vast majority of his books are ghost-written. Could blow up in your face if you pick the wrong one.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:00

Nyarai: Jul 19, 2012; Jenn here.

Laranzu posted:

Welp this is what we're up against. I don't even know what some of those words are. Two posts down she says "Sorry, autocorrect changed my words". I'm sorry but autocorrect doesn't make non-words.

For a second, I thought it said, "My dad was killed by Doctor Who." Too much time in the tumblr thread.

It seems like your friend is a lovely typist and hit the key next to the intended one in a lot of words. So I'm a bit worried about what reads, "My mom is a diabetic and I have taken her off 11 prescription drugs." :stare:

Hope that's stdh.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:10

Dalmuti: Apr 8, 2007

Agents are GO! posted:

There was a great edit of this earlier in the thread that replaced the bottom silhouette with one of an elderly person with a walker. It was great, I hope somebody reports it.

smash all baby boomers:

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:11

LtStorm: Aug 8, 2010; You'll pay for this, Shady Shrew!

I was trying to catch up on this thread, but the shutdown got people making GBS threads on my wall, so have some stupid bullshit from the dregs of the country;

A True Patriot posted:

DID ANYONE SEE WHAT REPRESENTATIVE STEVEN PALAZZO DID TODAY AS MISSISSIPPI'S WWII VETS TOOK THEIR HONOR FLIGHT TO WASHINGTON DC IN THE MIDST OF THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN? Congressman Steven Palazzo was willing to go to jail. The representative from Mississippi�s Fourth Congressional District was standing on the Washington Mall Tuesday � outside a barricade that had been erected around the World War II Memorial. He was standing shoulder to shoulder with members of the Greatest Generation � 91 Mississippians who fought valiantly during World War II. Their families had also gathered along with eight members of Congress. They had traveled many miles only to be told the open-air memorial was closed � on account of the federal government shutdown. The memorial that had been built for the aging warriors was barricaded and roped off with yellow tape. The water features were turned off and the bathrooms were locked. Armed park police stood nearby. The congressman worked in vain to try to convince the National Park Service to open the memorial. He called the Department of Interior but they did not intervene. He even wrote to President Obama � pleading with him to open the memorial so that the elderly men could lay flowers and pay their respects to fallen brothers. But the president remained silent. �They did not lift one finger to help these veterans,� Palazzo told me. �It is sad that they would not even make an exception for our World War II veterans.� And so it was on a cool autumn day that the congressman from Mississippi stood alongside his constituents and he felt a stirring in his soul. �I was nervous but my number one priority was the safety and welfare of the veterans,� he said. �This is something they wanted to do. This is their memorial. It was built to honor them.� They even asked park officials on the mall to reconsider � but they would not budge. So Palazzo gathered together his colleagues. There was Sen. Roger Wicker from Mississippi and Rep. Louie Gohmert from Texas. Rep. Michele Bachmann from Minnesota was there along with Rep. Steve King from Iowa, Rep. Alan Nunnelee from Mississippi, Rep. Bill Huizenga from Michigan, Rep. Gregg Harper from Mississippi and Rep. Spencer Bachus from Alabama. Palazzo had decided to crash the gates and break through the barricades. And the United States being a constitutional republic � he decided to put his idea to a voice vote. It passed unanimously. Someone had a video camera and recorded the moment when the crowd applauded as Palazzo and Gohmert unhitched the barricades and opened the gates to the memorial. �These are people who were not stopped by the Nazis, not stopped by fascist, not stopped by kamikazis. It just didn�t seem right that some little bicycle racks should be able to stop them,� Gohmert told me. Bagpipes played "Amazing Grace" as the gentleman from Mississippi escorted his constituents to their memorial. They laid a wreath at a memorial for the Magnolia State. There were tears and smiles and memories � memories of a generation that changed the world. �It�s been a huge emotional roller coaster,� the congressman told me. �This morning we were heartbroken. We were mad. We were angry. We were uncertain. We didn�t know what to expect. It turned out great.� Gohmert called the decision to barricade the open-air memorial mean-spirited and beyond the pale. �This is an open-air memorial for heaven�s sake,� he said. �It�s beyond outrageous to say that people have to walk around the exterior instead of walking across the middle. You have to be pretty hard-hearted, pretty petty to say we�re going to keep these guys away from their own memorial.� Park police were on hand � but no one was arrested and they did not intervene. �They did the honorable thing and stood down,� Palazzo said. �We don�t fault them or the staff there one bit.� And while the Mississippi veterans were able to pay their respects, it�s unclear what will happen with other Honor Flight guests. A spokesperson for the organization tells me nearly 1,000 veterans are expected to visit the World War II Memorial this week. Some have been on a waiting list to visit the nation�s capitol for more than a year. �It�s very disheartening to know these veterans are flying across the country to see this memorial that they�ve waited for years to see and they�re being locked out of the memorial,� Executive Director Diane Gresse told me. She said for many this is a one-time, one-shot trip of a lifetime. A lot of these veterans will not be alive next year,� she said quite frankly. It�s unfortunate that President Obama did not respond to Palazzo�s reasonable request. But this president has a penchant for being petulant. Nevertheless, the good people of Mississippi�s Fourth Congressional District should hold their heads high. They were well served by their representative � a man willing to go to jail to defend the honor of the Greatest Generation. Rep. Palazzo � you are a great American. And should you need bail money, give me a call. - Todd Starnes � FOX News / Mike Graham - Pascagoula, Mississippi

tl;dr: Steven Palazzo is a conservative shithead rep from Mississippi who is culpable in the loving government shutdown. He's getting billed as making the day "special" for these veterans after he made it loving worse but then slightly less bad. It's such a transparent loving PR move with no intention other than shifting the blame off him and I am going to be arguing about this on Facebook for days no doubt.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:20

ClothHat: Mar 2, 2005; ASK ME ABOUT MY LOVE OF THE LUMPEN-GOBLITARIAT
protip: trust no links I post

Strom Cuzewon posted:

I finally got one in the wild. Just appeared on Facebook.

It's clearly an American one (predator, store, tank, Ted Bundy) with UK places badly inserted (the Met don't work in Hants, what are London gangs doing in Newport?) and then someone has bizarrely referenced a 9 year old south african murder.

I hate these fearmongering urban legends so much. Snopes has a pretty comprehensive breakdown here: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/madmen/backseat.asp. There's actually an entire section on incorrect gang legends: http://www.snopes.com/crime/gangs/gangs.asp.

You could try talking about how this sort of nonsense promotes rape culture but that will probably be a little too sophisticated and you will get some sort of reply about common sense, and how it's better to be safe than sorry. You could try talking about how gangs absolutely do not operate this way also, but if the person you're talking to has a simplistic world view of CRIMINALS = BAD MEN you're not going to have much luck.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:24

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Strom Cuzewon posted:

I finally got one in the wild. Just appeared on Facebook.

It's clearly an American one (predator, store, tank, Ted Bundy) with UK places badly inserted (the Met don't work in Hants, what are London gangs doing in Newport?) and then someone has bizarrely referenced a 9 year old south african murder.

This is literally an episode from the (excellent, a David Simon thing) 1990 cop show Homicide.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:29

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

Mister Bates posted:

Hey guys, I caught a live one! One of my girlfriend's Facebook friends posted this to her wall.

First I was reading along and thinking drat, this is all over the place. Then as I got closer to the end I got a weird sense of deja vu, that I'd read this all before

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:55

lament.cfg: Dec 28, 2006; we have such posts
to show you

An Idiot posted:

How the gently caress can you bitch about Obamacare but be ok with drones and NSA spying??? FOX is really no different then the other garbage news outlets. All socialist propaganda!! Thank god I found alternative news outlets and made the right choice in voting Libertarian!!!!!

Holy poo poo. Holy poo poo. Fox News. Socialist propaganda.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 17:59

AlliedBiscuit: Oct 23, 2012; Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?!!

Strom Cuzewon posted:

I finally got one in the wild. Just appeared on Facebook.

It's clearly an American one (predator, store, tank, Ted Bundy) with UK places badly inserted (the Met don't work in Hants, what are London gangs doing in Newport?) and then someone has bizarrely referenced a 9 year old south african murder.

My aunt shared the American version of this one a while back. It also contained a bit about how if you're being mugged, you should take your wallet/purse and throw it as far away from you as you can. Since, apparently, the mugger will go after it and you can run away, preferably in a serpentine pattern, because you'll only MAYBE get shot in the back, and don't worry, it probably won't be a vital organ! That whole part reads like parody.

And the really elaborate initiations people think gang members do is just bizarre. Street gangs aren't bands of "Gentlemen, to evil!" types.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 18:19

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# ? May 12, 2024 22:45

EightBit: Jan 7, 2006; I spent money on this line of text just to make the "Stupid Newbie" go away.

People spreading these letters are so far from anything resembling poor that they can't conceive of any other reason to join a gang, like having food to eat, or your role models are in a gang too, etc.

# ? Oct 2, 2013 18:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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