TV Trops

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Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

Mors Rattus posted:

So this man is the nexus point of OCD, autism and narcissism, isn't he?

Don't forget awful politics. Dozerfleet is a reference to the military-industrial complex keeping us safe from the evils of socialism.

quote:

After much deliberation of thought, the Dozerfleet founder allowed Dozerfleet Productions to gain its current name.

He had a vision of a story, one that would become known as Ride of the Three Bulldozers. In it, Ivan is chased out of his village when socialist infiltrators decide to create chaos within the region. But since nobody in the town is particularly rich or poor to begin with, wealth is pretty much already evenly distributed. Frustrated, the infiltrators began slaughtering at random, then seized control. Because even if there already was equality in the village, it meant nothing to the infiltrators unless there was also central control - with themselves as the central planners. That the town became what it was through the exact opposite of central planning was unacceptable to them. And they knew more than anything that Ivan's refusal to bow to their whims made his thought process too Western - so they had him exiled. But as tyranny spread, the infiltrators began to alienate the town. A counter-revolution was underway. Ivan was originally a friend of various birds, yet even they turned on him. His thoughts became industrial, and he eventually hijacked a nearby construction vehicle storage bay. From there, he helped organize a counter-revolution when the allies he acquired agreed to use the stolen construction vehicles as tanks. The fleet would clear a path for freedom from the Central Planners, and clear a path so that lovers of liberty could take back their freedoms.

One evening, the Central Planners began a scorched-earth policy to protect themselves as their power waned. They returned to slaughtering masses, as they'd always done. But their troops soon had to deal with an unruly populace that rose up. Next they knew, three bulldozers entered the main road, with infantry following close behind. Behind that were more vehicles, being used as tanks. The Central Planners were soon hunted down, and the town freed. The three main bulldozers, or dozer fleet, became symbolic to the town of the price of freedom. Ivan was never seen again.

edit: also, I thought the title of his magnum opus Stationery Voyagers was a typo, but it turns out it is literally about office supplies

The Voyagers guard Neone after her past is revealed in "Not What They Seem"."

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Nov 7, 2013

# ? Nov 7, 2013 19:38

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# ? May 24, 2024 01:25

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

No wonder he's so messed up, he's obsessed with the Three Dozer Build.

# ? Nov 7, 2013 20:37

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

edit: also, I thought the title of his magnum opus Stationery Voyagers was a typo, but it turns out it is literally about office supplies

Pencil-Breaking Troper should be the main villain.

# ? Nov 7, 2013 20:52

No More Toast: May 11, 2013; Atheist! Imperialist!!

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

I thought the title of his magnum opus Stationery Voyagers was a typo, but it turns out it is literally about office supplies

I am literally unable to comprehend the fact that this guy exists. This is all some terrible goon prank, right? The avoidance of first person, the fact he sees himself as a production company, the endless pages about people he barely knows and now a sci-fi show about pens?

quote:

A Pentel Click-It series PD-15 plays Pextel, the tragic and ill-fated Arnold Rubblindo reincarnated as a ship captain for the Voyagers' Bindaf 3000 spaceship. A pink American Crafts Ultimate Gel Pen plays Pextel's girlfriend Pinkella Goldsen, who loses her family when a factory worker commits a cruel act of betrayal. Papermate Write Bros.-series pens play Rhodney Antilles, Oceanoe Hendelbin, and Marlack Inkripe, childhood friends of Pextel's whose disappointments in life lead them to join the Voyager program. A white rubber eraser plays Erasaxo Herrick, the Bindaf 3000's official mechanic. Slowly learning about the crew's existence through prophecies and trace anecdotes are Mitchell Lomken and Eliot Brownside, Braldonian refugees living in Antia to flee persecution from enemies of the Lomken Estate. Aiding the Voyagers on missions while still on their homeworld are Skidders Garret Nobee and Katrina Mantalone.

Eventually, the Voyagers are joined by runaway sex slave Neone Delft, portrayed by a Pilot Spotlight Supreme Highlighter Marker. The second season sees the team recruiting to their side Liquidon Ethereteel. Portrayed by a 2001-era Gillette Liquid Paper Pen. Liquidon possesses the power of teleportation. Both Cybomecs, Consto and Ribando, are portrayed by BiC mechanical pencils.

It also has its very own tvtropes page. I'm not sure if it even explicitly mentions the fact that all the characters are actual pens and pencils. How is this real?

# ? Nov 7, 2013 20:52

Saint Drogo: Dec 26, 2011

MatthewTheRaven, in the edit history posted:

Everything about the story -from the evil gay crusaders of the Crooked Rainbow, to the strange syntax and diction, to the idiosyncratic, obscure way even its TvTropes pages are written- sounds like the ramblings of a mental patient.

It finally happened. Someone out-TVtropes'd TVtropes.

# ? Nov 7, 2013 21:10

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Saint Drogo posted:

It finally happened. Someone out-TVtropes'd TVtropes.

It feels like I just went through the stargate from 2001.

# ? Nov 7, 2013 21:29

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

No More Toast posted:

It also has its very own tvtropes page. I'm not sure if it even explicitly mentions the fact that all the characters are actual pens and pencils. How is this real?

Oh my god the quotes

quote:

"They want to destroy marriage? Why would they waste their time?"
�Nika Inkista (about the Yehtzig Pirate League), "What Must Happen"

quote:

"Let me tell you...my reality!"
�Hostile customs officer (to Mitchell and Eliot)

quote:

"Well, I guess you'll never get justice now! Best you just suck it up!"
�One of Consto's teachers, shortly after the principal is found dead.

quote:

Sveniski (to Maurice): "Where da hell are you from?"
Maurice: "Not even close. Those heroes you mocked? They saved one girl. And you failed to kill the one hundred and five students who weren't in the parking lot. So much for being a villain, villain!"
Sveniski: "PUT ME DOWN!!!"
(Maruice drops him without saying a word, and he falls onto the burning parking lot and is immediately engulfed in flames)
Cindy (observing Sveniski burning alive, from a distance): "Happy Thanksgiving. Turkey's in the oven!"

# ? Nov 7, 2013 22:15

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

This is some Chris-Chan level of delusion.

# ? Nov 7, 2013 23:35

Adrastus: Apr 1, 2012; by toby

I honestly cannot make heads or tails out of that stationary voyager story, even his own explanation is confusing as poo poo:

BulldozerBegins posted:

Utah (merged with California,) Japan, and Ukraine are all that's left of the free world. Spain is an empire. [[TheWarOnTerror Pakistan]] has nearly taken over the world, but Spain wants to stop Pakistan dead in its tracks before any more innocent lives are lost. Already, Ukraine is performing kamikaze missions. It's up to Utah to convince Japan to join forces in an alliance before they're all annexed to Spain. So they send a team of diplomats to Seattle to assess the damage there, and they're nearly wiped out by a SerialKiller who has an entire library full of {{Freudian Excuse}}s.

They finally make it to Japan, only to battle ThePlague being spread in schools because Planned Parenthood defected to Pakistan. They escape from that debacle and find themselves trapped in Springfield, which has been renamed [[WretchedHive New Gomorrah]] because DepravedHomosexual mobs and angels dressed like Stormtroopers are [[DeathWorld battling each other to the death]].

And one of the diplomats begins dating a Bulgarian vampire. Suddenly, we discover that Iran has been taken over by Jared Loughner in a bobcat suit. He's renamed it [[StupidEvil New Amalek]], and only Pakistan agrees to be [[OmnicidalNeutral neutral]]. Spain and Utah join forces with Japan to defeat their common enemy in [[ApocalypseHitler Bobcat Loughner's]] nation of evil. Then the Spanish empire collapses. Utah and Japan are left to their own device to deal with Pakistan.

And ExtyYearsFromNow, Utah residents are forced to move to Spain when Pakistan drops TheDeadliestMushroom on Salt Lake City. Then, it's up to treasure hunters to make sure Pakistan doesn't find the blueprints to make a DeathRay.

# ? Nov 7, 2013 23:53

Anticheese: Feb 13, 2008; $60,000,000 sexbot

I thought that Stationary Voyages was about shut-ins exploring realms of whatever from behind their desks. I didn't expect this. :magical:

# ? Nov 8, 2013 00:15

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

Improbable Lobster posted:

This is some Chris-Chan level of delusion.

!

I don't know about anyone else, but I'd personally enjoy making this guy the new Chris-Chan. Nothings come up with him since he came out as a transvestite, and I do enjoy all the people spergyness (really need a better word) that these people attract.

Edit:

Mors Rattus posted:

Do not touch the poop.

I know better, it's just so hard to resist.

MizPiz fucked around with this message at 00:25 on Nov 8, 2013

# ? Nov 8, 2013 00:19

Mors Rattus: Oct 25, 2007; FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

MizPiz posted:

!

I don't know about anyone else, but I'd personally enjoy making this guy the new Chris-Chan. Nothings come up with him since he came out as a transvestite, and I do enjoy all the people spergyness that these people attract.

Do not touch the poop.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 00:20

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

MizPiz posted:

Nothings come up with him since he came out as a transvestite,

He's not doing that anymore. And I wouldn't know this if someone in YOSPOS hadn't recently linked to the CWCki, but he's had some pretty :stare:

-worthy Facebook meltdowns about his high-school "gal-pals" in the past few weeks.

He's going to be around for a while.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 01:18

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Adrastus posted:

I honestly cannot make heads or tails out of that stationary voyager story, even his own explanation is confusing as poo poo:

So, wait, at what point does everyone turn into office supplies? Is it before or after Planned Parenthood starts a plague in Japan? Also, given that this dude appears to be to the right of Genghis Khan, why is he making Jared Loughner a villain? These Chris-chan comparisons are pretty accurate, but Christ, Sonichu was at least loving comprehensible.

What's up with these guys and always wanting to make huge sprawling "universes/multiverses" to connect everything they make, anyway? I can only imagine it as a combination of delusions of grandeur and copycatting the stuff they consume, because the Star Wars EU has a lot to answer for.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 01:19

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Antivehicular posted:

So, wait, at what point does everyone turn into office supplies? Is it before or after Planned Parenthood starts a plague in Japan? Also, given that this dude appears to be to the right of Genghis Khan, why is he making Jared Loughner a villain? These Chris-chan comparisons are pretty accurate, but Christ, Sonichu was at least loving comprehensible.

What's up with these guys and always wanting to make huge sprawling "universes/multiverses" to connect everything they make, anyway? I can only imagine it as a combination of delusions of grandeur and copycatting the stuff they consume, because the Star Wars EU has a lot to answer for.

He thinks Loughner was left-wing and maybe even following orders from Obama. No, of course that doesn't make sense.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 01:22

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Antivehicular posted:

What's up with these guys and always wanting to make huge sprawling "universes/multiverses" to connect everything they make, anyway? I can only imagine it as a combination of delusions of grandeur and copycatting the stuff they consume, because the Star Wars EU has a lot to answer for.

I guess it's a case of their reach exceeding their grasp, where they don't recognise that most of these big fictional universes/multiverses developed over time and weren't necessarily something the creator of their favourite series had in mind when they got to work.

I mean, you do get examples like JMS planning a specific five-year story arc and saying he'd conceived about a thousand years worth of history on either side of Babylon 5, but I'd be a bit surprised if George Lucas had had all of these ridiculously well-developed ideas about galactic politics, economics, sociology, geography and history when he was working on Star Wars.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 01:52

Funambulist: Aug 3, 2012

AlbieQuirky posted:

He thinks Loughner was left-wing and maybe even following orders from Obama. No, of course that doesn't make sense.

Yeah, saying that the guy who did the latest shooting spree was a lifelong registered Democrat has been a conservative meme for a while now.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 01:53

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Metal Loaf posted:

I mean, you do get examples like JMS planning a specific five-year story arc and saying he'd conceived about a thousand years worth of history on either side of Babylon 5, but I'd be a bit surprised if George Lucas had had all of these ridiculously well-developed ideas about galactic politics, economics, sociology, geography and history when he was working on Star Wars.

Ironically enough, if the stories I've heard are right, George Lucas actually did have a lot of that stuff planned out, but it was sufficiently boring and irrelevant that his various collaborators convinced him to trim the fat. It would be a pretty good object lesson in the value murdering your darlings, if Tropers were capable of taking that phrase in a non-Silent-Girl context.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 02:46

Kaiju Cage Match: Nov 5, 2012

Something something cavewoman boobs:

Ayla's entry in the Chrono Trigger character page posted:

Boobs of Steel: The bustiest and strongest character.

A minor example. They're not that big, but they're certainly not small either. They certainly are the biggest in the party, but that's mainly because Marle and Lucca are flat-chested teenagers who haven't really quite finished puberty. If her breasts were proportionate to her superhuman strength in a fully played-straight version of this, they would be ridiculously, unbelievably massive...

# ? Nov 8, 2013 02:55

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

Something something cavewoman boobs:

Here, I have a reference that might help you understand what I'm getting at:

# ? Nov 8, 2013 03:07

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Antivehicular posted:

Ironically enough, if the stories I've heard are right, George Lucas actually did have a lot of that stuff planned out, but it was sufficiently boring and irrelevant that his various collaborators convinced him to trim the fat. It would be a pretty good object lesson in the value murdering your darlings, if Tropers were capable of taking that phrase in a non-Silent-Girl context.

Haha! Well, how about that?

Maybe it'd be more accurate (since you mentioned the EU) to say that Lucas hadn't thought out this whole expansive backstory for every single one of the aliens who made up the crowds in the Mos Eisley cantina or Jabba's Palace, while some folks would think that was indispensible world-building!

# ? Nov 8, 2013 03:13

DaveWoo: Aug 14, 2004; Fun Shoe

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

Something something cavewoman boobs:

Yeah, boobs are a pretty big subject among tropers. You've got Boobs of Steel, I Have Boobs, You Must Obey, Gag Boobs, Under Boobs, A-Cup Angst, D-Cup Distress, Breast Attack, Breast Expansion, Big Breast Pride, Buxom is Better, and many, many more.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 03:21

Count Chocula: Dec 25, 2011; WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN

No More Toast posted:

I am literally unable to comprehend the fact that this guy exists. This is all some terrible goon prank, right? The avoidance of first person, the fact he sees himself as a production company, the endless pages about people he barely knows and now a sci-fi show about pens?

It also has its very own tvtropes page. I'm not sure if it even explicitly mentions the fact that all the characters are actual pens and pencils. How is this real?

So it's a Star Trek version of Appliance Wars?

# ? Nov 8, 2013 06:25

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

Count Chocula posted:

So it's a Star Trek version of Appliance Wars?

It sounds like the stuff I'd come up with in third grade when I was bored out of my mind fiddling with the stuff in my pencil case.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 07:38

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Assorted quotes from the Pokemon Fanfiction Thread. The context is exactly what you think it is.

quote:

Nature brought the tornado, Team Rocket got them stuck in it, Age caused the building's collapse, and Bad Luck did the rest. But none of them are to blame for electrocuting Ash to the point of brain damage.

quote:

That sounds like an interesting idea. Are you going to show how Ash came to the conclusion that he'd rather be female, or how it affects the rest of his life, because that might be a good plot branch.

quote:

In-story, human/Pokemon Interspecies Romance is stated by the main character to be an almost universal taboo in all of the world's countries, and at least in Hoenn is treated even worse than zoosexuals are in real-life (read: immediate lynching even if you were a respectable, well-known Gym Leader). How likely is it that that is true to the canon setting?

# ? Nov 8, 2013 07:41

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Sham bam bamina! posted:

He's not doing that anymore. And I wouldn't know this if someone in YOSPOS hadn't recently linked to the CWCki, but he's had some pretty -worthy Facebook meltdowns about his high-school "gal-pals" in the past few weeks.

He's going to be around for a while.

Is there still a moratorium on Chris -chan in PYF? I'm curious about this.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 08:15

Jay O: Oct 9, 2012; being a zombie's not so bad
once you get used to it

DStecks posted:

It sounds like the stuff I'd come up with in third grade when I was bored out of my mind fiddling with the stuff in my pencil case.

Goodness, 3rd grade you was bizarrely homophobic and obsessed with Syria!

...oh wait, you meant...oh.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 10:11

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Heath posted:

Is there still a moratorium on Chris -chan in PYF? I'm curious about this.

Regardless of whether or not there is (there is), shouldn't there be one? Just look it up yourself.

Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 13:27 on Nov 8, 2013

# ? Nov 8, 2013 12:22

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

DStecks posted:

It sounds like the stuff I'd come up with in third grade when I was bored out of my mind fiddling with the stuff in my pencil case.

TVTropes page posted:

The initial premise for this series was its creator as a bored third grader passing time with a pencil in one hand and a red correcting pen in the other. The classroom was imagined as a desert; the desks were plateaus like in a Road Runner cartoon. The memory lingered, until that bored third grader was a high school sophomore with a sudden, renewed interest in anthropomorphic stationery. Eight years later, the series' modern form began to take root. The means of passing time on summer break morphed into a lifelong passion.

A lifelong passion for sci-fi with pens.

DOZERFLEET FOUNDER posted:

It's obvious: Obama wants to rebuild the Ottoman Empire. He wants Kenya to be annexed to said rebuilt empire. Everything he does is about rebuilding the Ottoman Empire - with the most corrupt of the corrupt bands responsible for its original downfall to be put in charge. It's petty revenge by that faction for not being allowed to have total control of the empire a century ago. Blaming those Muslims who were not interested in being controlled by the Brotherhood for the empire falling apart when it was really the Brotherhood's fault all along.

The Brotherhood is trying to once again shift the blame for something they did wrong over a century ago. And this rebuilding effort is little more than them seeking validation of what their ancestors did over a century ago. They cannot tolerate history judging them and deeming them unfit for rule because they backed Kaiser Wilhelm.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 12:56

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Can we just take a moment to consider the beauty of the sentence "it's obvious: Obama wants to rebuild the Ottoman empire?" It's like some sort of procedurally-generated conspiracy theory. All it needs is a reference to Monsanto and maybe some death panels.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 13:17

ArchangeI: Jul 15, 2010

Antivehicular posted:

Can we just take a moment to consider the beauty of the sentence "it's obvious: Obama wants to rebuild the Ottoman empire?" It's like some sort of procedurally-generated conspiracy theory. All it needs is a reference to Monsanto and maybe some death panels.

I feel a proper conspiracy theory needs Jews and/or Freemasons. But "It's obvious: Obama wants to rebuild the Ottoman Empire" really is one of the greatest sentences ever written.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 13:22

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

This wiki is a black hole of crazy. I can't stop being pulled in.

Shrimp on a Treadmill Index posted:

The Shrimp on a Treadmill Index is a sorting algorithm developed by Dozerfleet Labs, designed to help measure the ludicrousness of government spending on any one particular project involving allocation of taxpayer funds.

Basic formula

p = (t * b)/165

Vileness defines how morally wrong or unnecessary that allocation of taxpayer dollars is... Cost measures in brackets approximately how much money a group of taxpayers is forced to pay for the given project.

This is followed by a list of tiers of increasing "vileness", which gets amazing toward the end.

quote:

Tier 7: Unnecessary Projects in the Name of "Science"

Why can the National Science Foundation waste millions on Jell-O wrestling? Why do we have lobbyists that want human cloning, in spite the ways it could be misused in violation of the 14th Amendment? Why do we want embryonic stem cells that create tooth tumors when adult stem cells produce the real results? (Hint: [not actually, but theoretically] justifying abortion, ahem *cough*.) Why do shrimp run on treadmills? Why do we blow millions to determine how much liquor it takes for college girls to agree to casual sex? Not really for science; but for self-interest. Some whack wants to know what would happen; puts out some BS about how humanity might benefit from the discovery, asks real nice for free monetary handouts from a politician hungry to get votes, and...voila!!! Instant government grant!

And why not? Politicians who don't play along get chased down by mobs naive enough to believe that "for science" is always a justifiable excuse. Violence from those mobs is not unheard of either. Why are they not all rounded up and put on chain gangs for their rioting? Because that would be "inhumane."

quote:

Tier 9: Loony Lefting

-In spite the guy who started belief in global warming now arguing against it, world governments spend trillions every year on summits to fight global warming. And their argument: Gaia (a pagan goddess) is mad that mankind exists. Therefore, man is responsible for climate change. Therefore, modern society (meaning, just the United States and any other country that dares to practice capitalism) must be destroyed.

Monies allocated to these causes are not only dishonest and extortionist of taxpayers, but are also a way for Euro-snobs to punish Americans for existing by forcing them to put their money in the idolatrous offering plates of world leaders bowing before the whims of a pagan goddess.

-Taxpayers forced to fund all abortions, period. Even the most absolutely vain ones and even ones that are clearly forced or coerced. You must pay, even if you believe it is murder and find it appalling. In past centuries, this was called tyranny.

-We must rebuild every single country wherein which we fight a war to depose a despot who has become a threat to all life. Even if the locals routinely whack off to thoughts of murdering us in our sleep. Billions wasted on building soccer camps in Baghdad with al-Queada watching in the distance only half-amused? Gotta be done, because Uncle Sam said so.

-We must go around the world "apologizing" for our ancestors sticking up for themselves, and apologizing for myths invented by Deconstructionists of abuses that our ancestors supposedly committed against the ancestors of outsiders. Outsiders who have blisters on their spanked monkeys for all the times they have fantasized about murdering us in our sleep. We must force-feed this pre-engineered guilt down the throats of Kindergarteners�all at taxpayers' expense and sometimes without their knowledge or consent.

I guess we've found the one Troper who doesn't like deconstruction.

quote:

Tier 10: Appeasement gimmicks for entitlement-minded extortionists

This includes Eurotrash, Greek-originating civilians, and others who believe in cradle-to-grave socialism and that they should be able to have everything for nothing. The slightest chance that they don't get something they want, and they threaten to start riots and get the press involved and vilify the state for not being a nice nanny and giving them their pacifier when they ask for it.

This tier also includes appeasement for degenerate illegal immigrants who threaten to shoot police to get what they want. Instead of being engulfed in flames for resisting deportation, they're allowed access to rewards that someone else worked hard to earn. They rewrite history to suit their agendas, and manipulate liberal guilt to convince leaders to rob a modern man's fortunes and give it to the lowlifes because of what may or may not have been done to those lowlifes' ancestors by a different man's ancestors.

To appease these seditionists by giving in to their demands for federal funds is tantamount to aiding and abetting terrorism. And for the Obama or any other presidential administration to make that standard policy is itself an act of sedition. In fact, since a lot of the ultra-violent crybabies are not even US citizens, it's tantamount to treason.

Do you work hard? Too bad! A lazy Mexican can rob your entire life's savings away from you. Because if the government says no to his demands? Gasp! He'll loot a store! And his cousins will help him! We don't want to look bad taking bullets to all of them, do we? Wouldn't they spin that to make it look like genocide? (Never mind their talks of killing gringos.)

quote:

To use the SoaT algorithm, merely multiply the vileness tier of a government spending project by the cost bracket. The product of these two factors divided by the highest product possible for the scale is the SoaT index rating for that government project. Values lower than 0.01 are automatically rounded up to 0.01, so that the end result score may be listed as a percentage.

-Example 1: Shrimp running on treadmills "for science" (i.e., the NSF's self-interest) → Tier 7 x Bracket 3 = 21 / 165 = a SoaT rating of 13%.
-Example 2: Obamacare → (Tier 9 + 0.75 ) x Bracket 15 = 135 / 165 = 89%, almost three times the amount of unjustifiability required by the scale to be deemed wasteful in the first place! That's like having three times the legal limit of alcohol in one's blood when caught driving drunk!
-Giving money to Egypt while under the rule of the Muslim Brotherhood ranks at 78%! The same goes for giving money to Libya. That's over 2-1/2 times the minimum requirement!

# ? Nov 8, 2013 14:14

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

loving RAPESLUTS IN MY MEGAVERSE

quote:

The Gerosha Chronicles Sex and Murder Statistics - Female Edition

The male edition could take some time. The stats are now in for what one can expect of women in the Gerosha universe of Dozerfleet Comics. And the behavioral trends, in spite a universe full of men who can walk through walls and women who can rot wood with a simple touch, are not entirely off from reality.

The least realistic result of the survey can be faulted on the fact that only 45 women had their entire biographies in Cataclysmic Gerosha only surveyed. Previous universes, like Classic Gerosha, were not taken into account. Also, only a handful of major characters were surveyed. There are hundreds if not thousands more whose names and experiences were not considered.

But of the 45 surveyed the following was discovered:

- Women in Cataclysmic Gerosha, according to this survey, are 9% likely to die as virgins. This could change if character�s histories are re-written or developed in more detail. But as it stands as of this post, that�s the official number. According to Softpedia, the number of actual adult Americans who die a virgin is 4%.

- Women are 47% likely to only have one sex partner their entire lives. Which means, almost half of Gerosha women are monogamous. Pretty good statistic, overall. Real life is believed to be a smaller number.

- And 22% of women in the Gerosha universe will have sex with only two men their entire lives.

- 9% of women will have exactly three sex partners throughout their lives.

- A mere 13% will have more than three. More than three is considered promiscuous. �Slutty� is more than 8.

This may seem like a very conservative set of numbers. However, the psyches of women in Gerosha are not entirely unscathed:

- 58% have had some form or another of premarital sex. In the modern United States, it�s becoming common for up to 80% of adults to have had it. So amazingly, Gerosha women are still more self-controlled. But still somehow too loose.

- 49% have had oral sex at least once and sometimes twice. Two is the magic cutoff number. Most women have never had it more than twice. In fact, only 18% can claim to have done it routinely (more than twice in a lifetime.)

- And 36% have had anal sex at least one time. For most of them, one time is all they need to know not to do it again. Only 7% have gone on and done it more than once.

- A mere 7% can admit to having engaged in some form of prostitution. Stung Hornet was a honey trap hired by the Chinese government to seduce espionage targets, before being reassigned to a task force to hunt down Hebbleskins. Miriam had to essentially prostitute herself for a chance to flee to Hong Kong. The global likelihood in real life of any particular woman becoming a prostitute is closer to 0.6%. If you adjust the survey to 5000 random women in Gerosha and 100 or so have been in some form of prostitution (such as prisoners in the Gleeful-N-Young brothels alluded to in �Blood Over Water,�) then that still results in twice as many prostitutes existing in the Gerosha universe as do in real life.

Now for the rape stats:

- Gerosha women have a 16% chance of being raped at least once in their lives. According to The Hathor Legacy website�s rape statistics, an American woman in the 21st century actually has a 26% chance of being raped at least once. So even with all the mutants and supervillains running around, women in the Gerosha universe are STILL less likely to be raped than in real life!

- Only 7% of Gerosha women have been raped repeatedly or gang-raped. In the real world, gang rape is starting to replace regular rape as the trend.

But here�s where it gets really ugly:

Of those surveyed, 31% have been murdered or killed in war or else in some other way died by the hand of another. If those surveyed were a fair representation of the overall Gerosha universe picture (and for this exercise�s purposes, they�re not); then that would mean the Gerosha universe has a murder rate 50 times that of Honduras.

Meaning, life is a constant war zone and everything is trying to kill you. Which may explain partially why there is so little sex compared to real life: nobody has time for sex when they�re being cut to ribbons or crushed by falling debris!

- A mere 4% can claim to have been near-murdered, and brought back from the brink of what should have been certain death.

- However, 62% have been threatened with the early termination of their lives by something other than old age or disease.

- 11% of women in the survey are at some point beheaded. Meaning, 1 in 10 may as well live in Mexico.

- 0% of women in this survey have endured an actual rape-murder combo. Since Dolly didn�t actually die in the Ameristani death camp, the gang rape and attempted execution don�t count. Had the power outage not saved Dolly�s life, then the stats would read that women have a 2% likelihood of being rape-murdered.

What this survey means:

Women in Gerosha like sex almost as much as in real life. But are also much more likely to die horribly and young. Unlike a typical horror movie, virginity doesn�t save you either: All virgins on the list are also murder victims at some point.

Calculating the percentage of women in your Sims 3 fanfic megaverse who get raped: A Completely Healthy Thing

# ? Nov 8, 2013 14:42

Oxxidation: Jul 22, 2007

Antivehicular posted:

So, wait, at what point does everyone turn into office supplies? Is it before or after Planned Parenthood starts a plague in Japan? Also, given that this dude appears to be to the right of Genghis Khan, why is he making Jared Loughner a villain? These Chris-chan comparisons are pretty accurate, but Christ, Sonichu was at least loving comprehensible.

What's up with these guys and always wanting to make huge sprawling "universes/multiverses" to connect everything they make, anyway? I can only imagine it as a combination of delusions of grandeur and copycatting the stuff they consume, because the Star Wars EU has a lot to answer for.

Making tons of irrelevant lore helps distract them from worrying about characters, which none of them can write. It also lets them talk about writing, but without actually writing, which is the ideal state for most of these people.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 14:50

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Oxxidation posted:

_{what even the heck}

My thoughts exactly.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 14:59

Thinky Whale: Aug 2, 2012; All that most maddens and torments; all that stirs up the lees of things; all truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Fry.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

Politicians who don't play along get chased down by mobs naive enough to believe that "for science" is always a justifiable excuse. Violence from those mobs is not unheard of either.

world governments spend trillions every year on summits to fight global warming. And their argument: Gaia (a pagan goddess) is mad that mankind exists.

This guy gets a way more interesting version of CSPAN than I do.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 15:00

FairyNuff: Jan 22, 2012

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

loving RAPESLUTS IN MY MEGAVERSE

Calculating the percentage of women in your Sims 3 fanfic megaverse who get raped: A Completely Healthy Thing

Is he making these 'surveys' up or has he got a very strange version of the Sims?

# ? Nov 8, 2013 15:08

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin: Jul 19, 2000; Oven Wrangler

Geokinesis posted:

Is he making these 'surveys' up or has he got a very strange version of the Sims?

It's hard to piece together exactly what's going on because of the huge walls of text encompassing every imaginable detail (that still don't tell you whether something actually exists outside the author's mind), but it seems like about five years ago he made a lovely superhero webcomic by adding text bubbles to photoshopped Sims 2 screenshots. He had a huge number of sequels planned for when Sims 3 came out but claims to have cancelled them or put them on hold because EA supports gay marriage. Now he just makes "concept art" and writes lovingly detailed character biographies, which I think is where the data came from. I don't think this has anything to do with Pen And Pencil Trek but who the gently caress knows.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Nov 8, 2013

# ? Nov 8, 2013 15:29

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

I cannot get over this Dozerfleet thing. It's like Nabokov's Pale Fire in real life.

# ? Nov 8, 2013 18:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 01:25

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Geokinesis posted:

Is he making these 'surveys' up or has he got a very strange version of the Sims?

He is mentally ill. That is the only explanation for such a total disconnect from reality that I can think of.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

This wiki is a black hole of crazy. I can't stop being pulled in.

This is followed by a list of tiers of increasing "vileness", which gets amazing toward the end.

I guess we've found the one Troper who doesn't like deconstruction.

Also racist, sexist, fixated on rape ( :tvtropes:

) and an idiot. Did you know that the "shrimp on a treadmill" study was a small portion of a much larger study regarding the populations of common seafood species and the effects of environmental changes on them?

# ? Nov 8, 2013 18:51

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