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your families are all terrible we develop superpowers when we're drunk, we all pile into the nearest rsl and just clean up on the pokies while screaming poo poo poo poo poo poo at each other until they call security and then we go rollicking home and brawl (but it's all in good fun) or more often we blow all our savings but we don't remember those times, either way we end up slapping each other
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Nov 26, 2013 03:03
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 04:29 |
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Whenever we have a family gathering I seem to get stuck sitting across from my grandma and her husband and have to spend the entire meal trying to ignore their horrendous chewing noises. And no one drinks. Yay. Every few years my uncle shows up and him and my dad fight over politics while everyone else pretends the entire conversation is not happening. Luckily he was just here this summer so we probably won't see him again for a while.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:05
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get drunk enough everyone speaks the same language
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Nov 26, 2013 03:05
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My mom and dad are both first generation, so I don't have a huge extended family. Both parents are awesome, and my younger brother is more or less my favorite person ever. My other brother, the one who likes jam bands, is okay but we've just never been close, it's weird
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Nov 26, 2013 03:05
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Avshalom posted:your families are all terrible yes they are can i join your family they sound way rad
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Nov 26, 2013 03:06
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yeah just drop by after about 9pm and hug everyone and we'll just assume you're meant to be there, a new cousin pops out of the woodwork every few weeks so we just go with it at this point don't worry about learning any names, they're all interchangeable
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Nov 26, 2013 03:08
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most of the time i have to get hammered or stoned with my cousins to deal with my family. we've got a huge italian family but it gets smaller every year as a result of ridiculous fights ending up in estrangements
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Nov 26, 2013 03:10
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one entire side of my family was estranged before I ever really knew them.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:15
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All of my family are recovering alcoholics, even my baby daddy's family doesn't drink alcohol. Sober holidays are pretty boring let me tell you. Honestly I'm kind of a hum bug. Going to the boyfriends' family for christmas for the first time. I don't want to for multiple reasons. I'm a very anxious and private person, so the thought of having to sleep, eat, and poop there makes me uncomfortable. Ugh, I just will trudge through it and hopefully snap out of my hum buggedness.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:15
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ngl i really enjoy pooping in other people's toilets because it feels like i'm establishing my territory i always scrub and squirt the air freshener afterward though, i'm not some sort of monster
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Nov 26, 2013 03:20
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life tip: light a match instead of using air freshener, it masks the smell completely, instead of laying an all too inadequate flowery perfume on top of your stank-rear end anal snake stench and creating something much worse
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Nov 26, 2013 03:23
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well my poop is already quite mildly scented and has a subtle - even delicate - bouquet that is all its own so i feel that to obliterate it entirely would defeat the purpose also, upon entering someone's house, i eat one [1] item from their pantry, usually a piece of cereal or a single nut i purchase a replacement to the best of my ability and leave it behind when i go
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Nov 26, 2013 03:26
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I think for me it's a fear of clogging someones toilet. It's only really happened to me once in my life but it was terrible. I didn't even know the person, but I smoked hash for the first time there, and it instantly made me need to poo poo out everything. I think someone even tried to come check on me, and I had to do the feeble, "I'm ok," whilst trying to desperately unclog the toilet quietly as possible. I was really high so I was convinced everyone could hear what I was doing. Then some bitch told me I look like Alanis Morriset and I told her I wanted to kil her.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:28
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Goobish posted:I think for me it's a fear of clogging someones toilet. It's only really happened to me once in my life but it was terrible. I didn't even know the person, but I smoked hash for the first time there, and it instantly made me need to poo poo out everything. I think someone even tried to come check on me, and I had to do the feeble, "I'm ok," whilst trying to desperately unclog the toilet quietly as possible. I was really high so I was convinced everyone could hear what I was doing. Then some bitch told me I look like Alanis Morriset and I told her I wanted to kil her. cut a bitch for comparing you to a successful artist seems about right
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Nov 26, 2013 03:31
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There's a David Sedaris essay that's all about him going to the bathroom at a dinner party, finding someone else's huge, un-flushable dump in the toilet, and panicking while trying to get rid of it so nobody would think he was the culprit. It's pretty hilarious.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:31
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Ugh I just had a wicked nasty breakup, the worst kind. The kind where they don't even tell you to your face or even in a text they're leaving, they just ignore you and you have to find out from someone else they're gone.  Crow Jane posted:There's a David Sedaris essay that's all about him going to the bathroom at a dinner party, finding someone else's huge, un-flushable dump in the toilet, and panicking while trying to get rid of it so nobody would think he was the culprit. It's pretty hilarious. When I'm in a public bathroom and there's multiple stalls, and one of them I know has a horrible biohazardous accident in/all over it, when I'm washing my hands from coming out of a clean stall I'm always afraid the next person who comes in is gonna think I left that mess 
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Nov 26, 2013 03:34
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VanSandman posted:cut a bitch for comparing you to a successful artist I did feel bad about it later on. It was one of those things where you're really high, and you say something and it comes out in a tone that you really didn't intend. So instead of like a playful tone it was more crack head tone. But for the record I think Alanis Morriset looks kinda busted.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:34
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Suzuki Method posted:Ugh I just had a wicked nasty breakup, the worst kind. The kind where they don't even tell you to your face or even in a text they're leaving, they just ignore you and you have to find out from someone else they're gone. thats a lovely thing to do to a person and im sorry for ya but at least now you know what a gently caress they are
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Nov 26, 2013 03:35
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Suzuki Method posted:Ugh I just had a wicked nasty breakup, the worst kind. The kind where they don't even tell you to your face or even in a text they're leaving, they just ignore you and you have to find out from someone else they're gone. Yeah, people who cannot be honest and straightforward are the worst
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Nov 26, 2013 03:37
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Everyone is telling me he's an absolute shithead for doing that to me but I still feel like garbage. We were talking absolutely normally last night and everything. The last thing he said to me was I love you and goodnight and see you tomorrow after hours of hanging out t What the gently caress.I guess my best option is to really stick to my workout regimen and become super hot and too good for him (disclaimer: i am aware that no amount of pull-ups can take the neckbeard out of my soul)
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Nov 26, 2013 03:41
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working out more is a good idea regardless of context but from what i can tell you're already too good for him on account of not being a gigantic shithead he'll find an actual gigantic shithead and be so miserable and you'll be swole
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Nov 26, 2013 03:42
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Suzuki Method posted:Ugh I just had a wicked nasty breakup, the worst kind. The kind where they don't even tell you to your face or even in a text they're leaving, they just ignore you and you have to find out from someone else they're gone. here have some baby puppies perhaps they will cheer you up    literally born today within the last three hours.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:43
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I'm sorry, Suzuki Method, that sucks. Not that it matters at this point, but did he give any kind of reason?
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Nov 26, 2013 03:44
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Avshalom posted:and you'll be swole When I went over to my moms house for lunch on Saturday she told me my face has thinned down and I was like yeeeeeaaaa  I'm not fat (yet) but I've been really lazy the past year and a half and my thighs are all flabby and I went up like 4 pant sizes so yeah it's time to go VanSandman posted:here have some baby puppies perhaps they will cheer you up  Aw widdow masters so cuteCrow Jane posted:I'm sorry, Suzuki Method, that sucks. Not that it matters at this point, but did he give any kind of reason? lol hes leaving me for his ex-girlfriend who just came out of a coma I guess when she went into a coma it really shocked him and I felt bad for him and all but I guess that rekindled some flame or something??? anyway I'm not worth anything anymore now it's such a soap opera and I'm so done
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Nov 26, 2013 03:45
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work out enough that you can suplex him and be like "YEEEEAH BIIIIIITCH" and then walk away while something explodes behind you. when the rad guitar solo starts up and you put on sunglasses, he'll know he made a mistake. He'll know.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:45
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Women's Rights? posted:work out enough that you can suplex him and be like "YEEEEAH BIIIIIITCH" and then walk away while something explodes behind you. when the rad guitar solo starts up and you put on sunglasses, he'll know he made a mistake. do it this is a good idea
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Nov 26, 2013 03:46
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Suzuki Method posted:Everyone is telling me he's an absolute shithead for doing that to me but I still feel like garbage. We were talking absolutely normally last night and everything. The last thing he said to me was I love you and goodnight and see you tomorrow after hours of hanging out t I had someone do this for me, although they stretched it out over a long time. Its the single most painful thing anyone has ever done to me, and it kind of permanently made me less trustful of people, which trust wasn't something I had a surplus of anyway.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:47
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hes a bodybuilder so thats not going to happen maybe I'll just hire Shine to have a swole accident happen at the gym glowing-fish posted:I had someone do this for me, although they stretched it out over a long time. Well right now I'm not sad anymore, right now I'm just upset with how much of an rear end in a top hat this guy is for breaking up in that fashion. Like really? I don't even need to 'talk it out' I just wanted to hear a 'well it's over' or something jesus christ. He just blocked my number and yadda yadda and moved the gently caress on overnight without me knowing at all. I found out by accident. What a loser
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Nov 26, 2013 03:48
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Sometimes I forget how absolutely hellish dating can be. If my boyfriend and I ever break up, I seriously think I'm just going to take up knitting, buy a sybian, and call it a day.
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Nov 26, 2013 03:53
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Suzuki Method posted:Well right now I'm not sad anymore, right now I'm just upset with how much of an rear end in a top hat this guy is for breaking up in that fashion. Like really? I don't even need to 'talk it out' I just wanted to hear a 'well it's over' or something jesus christ. He just blocked my number and yadda yadda and moved the gently caress on overnight without me knowing at all. I found out by accident. What a loser drat dude how long were you guys together?
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Nov 26, 2013 03:59
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That's a really good idea and I think that should become the default e/n response to any problem Q. Help my bf is cheating on me but I still like him? A. take up knitting, buy a sybian, and call it a day Q. how do i get my boss to stop pissing al over the floor A. take up knitting, buy a sybian, and call it a day Q. I want to gently caress my stepmom? A. take up knitting, buy ur mom a sybian, kill yourself Goobish posted:drat dude how long were you guys together? Not long enough to move in with each other so it won't be a big loss in the long run, just hurts right now. Real blow to the self esteem is all.
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Nov 26, 2013 04:01
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Suzuki Method posted:That's a really good idea and I think that should become the default e/n response to any problem  but seriously getting dumped sucks. even by a lovely person in a lovely way. it still hurts.
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Nov 26, 2013 04:10
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sorry your families are terrible, mine is Lilo and Stich
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Nov 26, 2013 04:15
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my famlies good except my grandads a horrible racist and i want to date a black girl :/
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Nov 26, 2013 04:16
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seriously being on the internet makes me so grateful for my family, most of the men are hopeless (except for two of the uncles, they're cool) but the women make up for it a flock of drunken screeching violent generally-nude harpies fighting each other over scrabble and brie
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Nov 26, 2013 04:17
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Amazing Atheist posted:my famlies good except my grandads a horrible racist and i want to date a black girl :/ SA forums poster GRANDPAS A RACIST may be related to you I live with my neckbeard uncles and my entire family is worse than them. Literally worse than hoarder neckbeards with actual anime wallscrolls. loolllll
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Nov 26, 2013 04:18
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oh also northern europe has the world's only domestic cheese moose moose who make cheese it's the world's most expensive cheese
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Nov 26, 2013 04:18
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my family is pretty cool, especially my mum's side of the family (she's one of six sisters/no brothers so i got indoctrinated into the matriarchy before i was even born  )
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Nov 26, 2013 04:20
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Pick posted:oh also northern europe has the world's only domestic cheese moose wanna taste that cheese
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Nov 26, 2013 04:24
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i live in rural georgia, so does my entire extended family, they enjoy hilarious jokes like "why don't you run over a friend of the family riding a bicycle?? BECAUSE IT'S YOUR BIKE!!" last friday my grandmother brought up The Birth Certificate gonna basically just stuff my face tune everybody out and leave early
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Nov 26, 2013 04:41
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