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Sheldrake posted:Too bad Andress' acting talent is a swirling vortex of unholy horrors. Also they kill lots of animals on screen.
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Dec 12, 2013 05:02
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Oh hey, is the stupid bullshit with the Planet of the Apes titles finally over? New poster for the All You Need Is Kill adaptation. 
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Dec 12, 2013 05:27
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Vagabundo posted:Oh hey, is the stupid bullshit with the Planet of the Apes titles finally over? Trailer looks great, but I think they went a little too far with the helix shape there. I mean it may just be the way those missiles fire in the movie, but it really seems like they're just trying to cram some half assed easter egg down our throat.
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Dec 12, 2013 05:34
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Vagabundo posted:Oh hey, is the stupid bullshit with the Planet of the Apes titles finally over? The trailer looked insanely cool and the poster makes it look cool too so I have high hopes for this.
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Dec 12, 2013 06:31
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Lizard Combatant posted:2 Planet 2 Ape should have been the obvious choice for this film. Then we could expect Planet of the Apes: Tokyo Drift, Planet of Apes, Planet 5, Apes 6... Then poor James Franco gets mauled by a chimp.
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Dec 12, 2013 06:40
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I look forward to Planet of the 8pes!
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Dec 12, 2013 06:46
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EvilTobaccoExec posted:A XXX Parody of the Planet of the Apes This exists and is called Playmate of the Apes.
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Dec 12, 2013 10:53
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TheJoker138 posted:This exists and is called Playmate of the Apes. Please tell me there's someone dressed up like Dr. Zaius, or at least Professor Bobo from MST3K, because I know a porn production isn't going to spend a lot of money on makeup effects.
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Dec 12, 2013 10:59
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Young Freud posted:Please tell me there's someone dressed up like Dr. Zaius, or at least Professor Bobo from MST3K, because I know a porn production isn't going to spend a lot of money on makeup effects. 
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Dec 12, 2013 11:15
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OH GOD NO. 
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Dec 12, 2013 11:17
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Young Freud posted:OH GOD NO. If it makes you feel any better none of the apes are involved in any of the sex scenes. And it's also one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, even for porn. They crash on the planet because the Russian pilot and the American pilot (both ladies) decide to have hot lesbian sex all over the flight cabin to "bring (their) countries together." And the beef between the apes and the humans is that the apes think humans can't dance.
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Dec 12, 2013 11:21
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Young Freud posted:OH GOD NO.  was made for moments like this
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Dec 12, 2013 12:16
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Cacator posted:Then we could expect Planet of the Apes: Tokyo Drift, Planet of Apes, Planet 5, Apes 6... More like he let the chimp drive. 
ruddiger fucked around with this message at 12:20 on Dec 12, 2013 |
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Dec 12, 2013 12:17
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TheJoker138 posted:the beef between the apes and the humans is that the apes think humans can't dance. That is genius.
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Dec 12, 2013 12:47
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I saw it on cinemax at least 10 years ago, and it is indeed genius. Resulted in one of those strange coincidences of life where the next day at school and I said to my friends "man, i saw the craziest thing on skinimax last night", but they interrupt "holy poo poo, you saw that too?", and our minds fractured at the unlikely odds all us kids would have secretly been watching the nudie channel at 2 am the night before. In retrospect, the odds aren't all that impressive, but my memories of Playmate of the Apes still are. One of the astronauts (the Russian I think) even gets a lobotomy like in the original, and it makes her bad at dancing.
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Dec 12, 2013 13:16
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TheJoker138 posted:If it makes you feel any better none of the apes are involved in any of the sex scenes. And it's also one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen, even for porn. They crash on the planet because the Russian pilot and the American pilot (both ladies) decide to have hot lesbian sex all over the flight cabin to "bring (their) countries together." That's kind of ripping off Flesh Gordon, where Dale Ardour's plane crashes after it's hit by Emperor Wang's sex beam and the pilot and copilot abandon the controls to have sex with her. The scene features this immortal exchange: CO-PILOT: Captain, I've got a giant boner! PILOT: Well, slap it down. CO-PILOT: I can't!
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Dec 12, 2013 14:53
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Uncle Boogeyman posted:Well I mean part of it is I just think maybe you're remembering it wrong. For one, Lars Von Trier is not the person reading the voiceover at the end; Jordan Leth is. And the fifth obstruction is not "there is no fifth obstruction," it's that Jordan Leth is forced to assume directorial credit for a version of the film that was entirely prepared by Lars Von Trier, and read from a script that Von Trier wrote from Leth's point of view as if they were his own words. Essentially, the challenge of the fifth obstruction is that Leth is denied artistic input entirely and forced to take credit for a film he didn't make. Agh, it sounds like I totally did remember it wrong! The execution of it is still dreadfully moody, especially considering Lars' relationship with the other Director, but anyway - thanks for clearing that up! I feel like a jerk now though, haha
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Dec 12, 2013 15:15
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:Emily Blunt's power armor reminds me a lot of Dredd, especially that red brushed metal. I love how they have this amazing awesome power armor to protect their vital internal organs - except their goddamn brains.
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Dec 12, 2013 15:19
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LeJackal posted:I love how they have this amazing awesome power armor to protect their vital internal organs - except their goddamn brains. To be fair, I think the power armor is more for enhanced strength, their arms/legs/stomach look pretty much uncovered.
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Dec 12, 2013 15:33
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Since being able to see the actors' faces is very important, characters in movies wear helmets a lot less often than they 'should.'
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Dec 12, 2013 15:36
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Vagabundo posted:Oh hey, is the stupid bullshit with the Planet of the Apes titles finally over? Is that a Space Cricket Bat? Best weapon ever!
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Dec 12, 2013 15:45
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Paper Jam Dipper posted:Is that a Space Cricket Bat? I hope it's a sword made from a rotor blade. I want that recruitment poster with Emily Blunt holding the sword over her shoulder.
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Dec 12, 2013 15:52
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Vagabundo posted:New poster for the All You Need Is Kill adaptation. Looks good, and it probably will be good, but All You Need Is Kill would still be so much better as the title. Edge of Tomorrow just screams "generic sci-fi" whereas the original title was the exact opposite!
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Dec 12, 2013 16:16
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Nikaer Drekin posted:Looks good, and it probably will be good, but All You Need Is Kill would still be so much better as the title. Edge of Tomorrow just screams "generic sci-fi" whereas the original title was the exact opposite! Live Die Repeat is also a much better name. Edge of Tomorrow just doesn't convey much. I'm hyped as hell for the movie until the twist turns out to be something mindbogglingly stupid like the aliens have his brain in a jar and are using him to determine every possible weakness of their invasion and then succeed in completely rolling earth.
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Dec 12, 2013 16:53
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Edge of Tomorrow's not too bad. He can never get to Tomorrow so he's always on the edge of it. But yeah, All You Need is Kill was cooler even if it conveys the least about the premise.
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Dec 12, 2013 18:33
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All You Need is Kill is a fantastic name and I'll still call it that. Is there a more recent trailer that's out? Also, Emily Blunt looks nothing like she does in that poster.
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Dec 12, 2013 18:56
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EvilTobaccoExec posted:I saw it on cinemax at least 10 years ago, and it is indeed genius. I, too, watched it on Skinemax at like 2 am a decade ago. Those were wonderous times, indeed.
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Dec 12, 2013 18:57
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Hand of the King posted:All You Need is Kill is a fantastic name and I'll still call it that. Is there a more recent trailer that's out? As far as one sheets go very little photoshopping was done on their faces. So she actually looks just like that. We just released the teaser yesterday. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eog5ecp1SpI
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Dec 12, 2013 19:04
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The MSJ posted:I hope it's a sword made from a rotor blade. In the novel, it was a battle axe. 
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Dec 12, 2013 19:08
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This is probably the best light novel you could have adapted into a movie. The majority of the medium nowdays is crap with obnoxiously long titles about wanting to date your little sister.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:12
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kiimo posted:As far as one sheets go very little photoshopping was done on their faces. So she actually looks just like that. That vocoder in the music is fantastic. Whichever parties were responsible for scoring that trailer did a fantastic job.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:18
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 I tried looking up funny clips on youtube earlier, but the only comprehensive thing was this terrible "porn critic" gimmick. Still though, everyone should watch this... PRO CLICK ZONE HERE (  )http://blip.tv/theporncritic/playmate-of-the-apes-review-5830233 Just ignore all the parts with the reviewer and it becomes a really good review. The movie is even more surreal and funnier than I remembered. Anyone that checks those clips out will probably agree... I think we found the next movie of the month. Sockser posted:I, too, watched it on Skinemax at like 2 am a decade ago. Who would have ever suspected teenagers of trying to watch porn? You and I share a bond of brothers that transcends space and time... maybe spacetime too. I dunno much about that, I'm no astronaut.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:33
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EvilTobaccoExec posted:Just ignore all the parts with the reviewer and it becomes a really good review. This is true in the same sense that going to the dentist is fun if you ignore them drilling your teeth.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:43
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Waffleman_ posted:This is probably the best light novel you could have adapted into a movie. The majority of the medium nowdays is crap with obnoxiously long titles about wanting to date your little sister. What's a light novel?
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Dec 12, 2013 19:48
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DNS posted:What's a light novel? It's weeaboo for young adult fiction. (I had to look it up)
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Dec 12, 2013 19:48
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Slim Killington posted:It's weeaboo for young adult fiction. Pretty much. They're shorter novels that often feature illustration are usually part of a serial series. Sorry for not defining it.
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Dec 12, 2013 20:19
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Starring Misty Mundae, what a surprise.
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Dec 12, 2013 20:57
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I found Play-Mate so ridiculous when I first saw it (also as a teenager at 2 am on Cinemax) that I actively watched for it to come on again, and then taped it next time. I still have the VHS somewhere. I also watched "Spider-Babe," also starring Misty Mundae, but it was not even close to the levels of insanity that Play-Mate hit. Neither was Lord of the G-Strings.
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Dec 13, 2013 00:57
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For some reason I have it in my head that Spider-Babe is the most well known/most seen of all those Misty Mundae movies.
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Dec 13, 2013 04:07
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:For some reason I have it in my head that Spider-Babe is the most well known/most seen of all those Misty Mundae movies. It's definitely the one I've seen. It used to be on all the time.
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Dec 13, 2013 04:08
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