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mind the walrus posted:I like to imagine it's jizz sorcerer in metric jizz warlock
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Dec 31, 2013 03:59
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Shannonmcn posted:He WAS a Methodist, so maybe in the past but not anymore, apparently. And no. Also before this she had never gone 2 weeks without sexytimes for like 6 years, she's a goddess and I hate to see her sad. Also he sits like 2 desks away from me in work so solutions I can send on a post-it are optimal. he gay
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Dec 31, 2013 04:00
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:he gay He is super into cricket and tigers, is that gay? EDIT: Also he is a super virgin.
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Dec 31, 2013 04:02
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Pick posted:put salt on the brussels sprouts and then eat them roast them with walnuts and cranberries
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Dec 31, 2013 04:07
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Shannonmcn posted:He is super into cricket and tigers, is that gay? EDIT: Also he is a super virgin. gay
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Dec 31, 2013 04:08
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Shannonmcn posted:He is super into cricket and tigers, is that gay? EDIT: Also he is a super virgin. Ugh, dating a virgin must be the worst.
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Dec 31, 2013 04:08
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Shannonmcn posted:He is super into cricket and tigers, is that gay? EDIT: Also he is a super virgin. homo
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Dec 31, 2013 04:08
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Shannonmcn posted:He is super into cricket and tigers, is that gay? EDIT: Also he is a super virgin. because he is super gay
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Dec 31, 2013 04:09
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post a profile of him in the fabgoon thread and see what they have to say
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Dec 31, 2013 04:09
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Pollyanna posted:post a profile of him in the fabgoon thread and see what they have to say I wouldn't. The attraction is purely on personality (I assume). Like this dude is my friend but he is punching so far above his weight then not even punching that  I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT!
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Dec 31, 2013 04:15
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mind the walrus posted:I like to imagine it's jizz sorcerer in metric Gives a whole new meaning to "a metric fuckton"
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Dec 31, 2013 04:16
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Shannonmcn posted:I wouldn't. The attraction is purely on personality (I assume). Like this dude is my friend but he is punching so far above his weight then not even punching that gay or linux user
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Dec 31, 2013 04:18
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Formerly religious virgin with an extremely hot girlfriend but he is also not very good looking himself? I'm not sure I could get it up, either. I'd be a nervous wreck from the layers of anxiety any time we tried to start making out. Basically they need to have an uncomfortable conversation or he's gonna never gently caress her. Captain Candiru fucked around with this message at 04:26 on Dec 31, 2013 |
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Dec 31, 2013 04:24
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Cricket is the mincingest British fuckin sport where dudes dress in whites and do fuckall in a field for days at a time (with tea breaks tho) so yes. I've forgotten what the question was now cause I'm high but if the question was "is poo poo prancingly gay" then the answer is "yes, it is as gay as cricket". E: oh yeah, yr mate. Best plan is to offer encouragement without getting too involved. When it all falls apart, suggest he take up lifting. Errbody have a muscle. Shithouse Dave fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Dec 31, 2013 |
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Dec 31, 2013 04:27
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Captain Backslap posted:Formerly religious virgin with an extremely hot girlfriend but he is also not very good looking himself? I'm not sure I could get it up, either. I'd be a nervous wreck from the layers of anxiety any time we tried to start making out. This is maybe it. But dude won't even give it a good Methodist try. It's ridiculous how much I want them to have fucktimes, I can't stand her sad sexless face anymore. Can I ethically spike this dude for NYE? (He also doesn't drink and we are both boozehounds) EDIT: He is really really good at cricket, their first date was an awards ceremony for his cricket expertise.
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Dec 31, 2013 04:29
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She's got to talk to him and say "I want to bone." Straight men who hear that like that, I have it on authority.
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Dec 31, 2013 04:30
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My husband loves cricket. People always tell me they thought he was gay when we were younger. (We're the gay dude and lesbian couple everyone knows one of.) What kind of tea is customary?
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Dec 31, 2013 04:30
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Earl grey and cucumber sandwiches probably. I have a Pavlovian sleep response to cricket commentary though so some of my impressions of cricket may not reflect reality.
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Dec 31, 2013 04:47
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Shannonmcn posted:This is maybe it. But dude won't even give it a good Methodist try. It's ridiculous how much I want them to have fucktimes, I can't stand her sad sexless face anymore. Can I ethically spike this dude for NYE? (He also doesn't drink and we are both boozehounds) EDIT: He is really really good at cricket, their first date was an awards ceremony for his cricket expertise. You don't brag about your cricket expertise. Cricket is a sport where the announcers literally spend most of their time talking about random crap completely unrelated to cricket because so little happens and there are so many tea breaks and rain breaks and wee breaks and whatever else in the days it sometimes goes on for. It's more like a posh dudes' radio chat programme, sometimes interrupted by a sudden shouting of words that sound like they came from a Lewis Carroll book.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:04
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don't let your man play cricket, it may seem innocent at first but before you know it you'll come home and find him in your underwear and a pink feather boa mincing around to Cyndi Lauper
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Dec 31, 2013 05:13
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Pollyanna posted:gay or linux user
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Dec 31, 2013 05:19
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Thx ladies, I will tell her that she picked out a homo by accident. And I totes agree cricket is ridiculous and stupid and I swear to god if I go to this NYE party and its full of cricket boys I will cry myself to death (or go home with my bf who does not play sports, like a normal) Srsly might spike him tho.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:23
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See, I think not having sex at all might be better than having sex with a nervous virgin
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Dec 31, 2013 05:28
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tell her, "virgin homo crickets do not survive winter" and then hand her a fresh vibe
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Dec 31, 2013 05:28
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what'st he man version of the yoga pant
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Dec 31, 2013 05:29
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he gay or micropenis micropenis sad option unless its the 'amazing atheist' then its high comedy
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Dec 31, 2013 05:29
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wiggle your buttcheeks with your hands as you talk to her to make it look like your butt is talking
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Dec 31, 2013 05:30
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Crow Jane posted:See, I think not having sex at all might be better than having sex with a nervous virgin look man, you just gotta get out the ol' 'in case of emergency' sledgehammer and break him in a few times.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:30
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Crow Jane posted:See, I think not having sex at all might be better than having sex with a nervous virgin We both know of awkward virgins, but not for several years. It'll be like time travel or something. I don't know how to feel about possible micropenis because on one hand, lol, and on the other hand, oh dear you're a nice person so sad.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:33
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Crow Jane posted:See, I think not having sex at all might be better than having sex with a nervous virgin Well somebody's gotta do it or they'll just be a virgin forever.  I don't know, it doesn't seem that weird to me but then I didn't lose it until I was 23. He's probably just super-nervous and she doesn't want to push him too much or something, but then I don't know the individuals involved.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:37
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Crow Jane posted:See, I think not having sex at all might be better than having sex with a nervous virgin
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Dec 31, 2013 05:38
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I think it's really sad some people can't muster a hard-on after two months with someone they care about whereas I can gently caress someone I first dated at a Rainforest Cafe.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:39
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Well it may not be helping if the general attitude about virgins is "lol I never want to gently caress them because they're so bad at sex."
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Dec 31, 2013 05:40
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Pick posted:I think it's really sad some people can't muster a hard-on after two months with someone they care about whereas I can gently caress someone I first dated at a Rainforest Cafe. penises are fickle sometimes, check your nodick privilege
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Dec 31, 2013 05:40
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Kimmalah posted:Well it may not be helping if the general attitude about virgins is "lol I never want to gently caress them because they're so bad at sex." I'd just be too afraid of either spoiling or scarring them for life
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Dec 31, 2013 05:42
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Pick posted:I think it's really sad some people can't muster a hard-on after two months with someone they care about whereas I can gently caress someone I first dated at a Rainforest Cafe. I had a dream the other night that he walked around all day with a boner but she wasn't allowed to touch it. That is how involved I am in this relationship and I really need to get out of this and oh god will they please not make the sex so I can stop hearing about it... Also can I say Virgin sex is grand because you get to teach them stuff the right way. gently caress finding someone who learned clit manipulation from a numb weirdo who likes biting. Ow. teenytinymouse fucked around with this message at 05:44 on Dec 31, 2013 |
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Dec 31, 2013 05:42
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Crow Jane posted:I'd just be too afraid of either spoiling or scarring them for life I only brought it up because I've seen a lot of people post that over the years and wondering if that's what people thought about me didn't really help my nerves about the whole thing. I didn't mean it as anything against you in particular.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:45
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Pick posted:I think it's really sad some people can't muster a hard-on after two months with someone they care about whereas I can gently caress someone I first dated at a Rainforest Cafe. You just loved those animatronic gorillas.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:51
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Oh, none taken, and sorry if I came across as flippant. I'm just not a very good teacher, I doubt that me taking someone's virginity would be a good experience for either of us. I mean, I'm fine giving pointers to someone who knows the basics, but starting from step one sounds terrifying Crow Jane fucked around with this message at 05:54 on Dec 31, 2013 |
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Dec 31, 2013 05:51
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Crow Jane posted:Oh, none taken, and sorry if I came across as flippant. I'm just not a very good teacher, I doubt that me taking someone's virginity would be a good experience for either of us. I have taken a whole 3 virginities and it is no weirder than just having first-sex with a non-virgin IMO. poo poo is 70/30 awkward or good from natural talent.
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Dec 31, 2013 05:56
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