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his degree institutions are in the story you loving dimwits
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Jan 10, 2014 01:12
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genderstomper58 posted:his degree institutions are in the story you loving dimwits u phoenix grad spotted
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Jan 10, 2014 01:29
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Busket_in_Posket posted:Ignore that it's from "cheezburger.com," but here's a fun compilation video: Just link the youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1TJk2VneLw
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Jan 10, 2014 03:35
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Thanks; I half-heartedly tried but couldn't find the direct link.
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Jan 10, 2014 04:26
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genderstomper58 posted:his degree institutions are in the story you loving dimwits The real moral of the story is don't get married
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Jan 10, 2014 04:43
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Busket_in_Posket posted:Thanks; I half-heartedly tried but couldn't find the direct link. idk if you were going for a rhyme thing in your username but uh... it doesn't rhyme.
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Jan 10, 2014 22:21
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hey remember when you sent a pic of your dick to your mom?
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Jan 10, 2014 22:36
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ghost bones posted:hey remember when you sent a pic of your dick to your mom? Talk about idiot!
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Jan 10, 2014 22:37
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Cole posted:idk if you were going for a rhyme thing in your username but uh... you put ur dick in a spic but now ur a lonely mick
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Jan 10, 2014 22:39
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genderstomper58 posted:you put ur dick
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Jan 10, 2014 22:39
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genderstomper58 posted:you put ur dick
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Jan 10, 2014 22:41
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ghost bones posted:hey remember when you sent a pic of your dick to your mom? yeah i do
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Jan 10, 2014 23:27
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I have a couple short ones from Nijmegen 2012: American army medic or something walking through blister so bad she bled through her boots Norwegian Veteran from WW2 getting piss drunk and walking into a one of the female marchers rooms in the Norwegian housing and pissing everywhere while they slept Norwegian Academy cadet drinking only alcohol through the third day of the march and going straight to bed when he got in. He was found by a fellow marcher who noticed he wasn't moving much. When we gave him to the ambulance we'd given him 6 litres of IV fluid. Me, bringing the wrong sleepingbag to the Netherlands in summer. I brought a down-filled winter bag, and the first night actually sweated so much the whole thing was soaked. A guy who told me he was American infantry, but who knows with the markings you people wear, he certainly didn't walk like infantry. I saw him once, refusing water by the marching route, and again when two Dutch civilans carried him over the finish line. And many, many more examples of low-grade idiocy I'm going back to staff my country's medical unit at the march next year. It's me, I'm the idiot in uniform
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Jan 12, 2014 22:29
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Nuclear War posted:Nijmegen Oh man I did it twice and it was awesome in so many ways. My only regret wasn't enjoying the area as much as I should have because I was too much of a loving loser back then  Anyways, the worst I saw was some old-rear end US army sgt who was walking bow legged. After getting closer we saw his whole rear end, crotch, and inner thighs were red from blood soaking through his combats due to XXXTREME chafing. To his credit the guy never slowed down. Whenever anybody asked if he was okay he'd turn it around on them, making it into some lame army-moto hooah thing and keep trucking. Saw him at the end of the four days with his medal, it felt pretty  to know he made it through after all that. Even if he'll probably never have kids after demolishing his nuts that way.A sgt on my team also did day 4 after a night of heavy drinking and crossed the drunk/hangover divide, had to drag him a couple miles but he pulled through. Also I heard a story about a female on another team who somehow broke her ankle after walking into the woods for a bathroom break and stumbling in a ditch or something. Of course she didn't know it was broken until visiting the medic...AFTER completing the last 10 miles, plus the 3 mil Via Gladiola. And then found out she was 12 weeks pregnant  I'd like to do it a third time. See you there, fellow idiot  e. vvvvv It's idiots all the way down 
Guest2553 fucked around with this message at 02:29 on Jan 13, 2014 |
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Jan 13, 2014 02:26
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Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:21 on Mar 31, 2017 |
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Jan 13, 2014 02:28
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50 Foot Ant posted:Nijmegan always loving rocked. 2006 was fun with the heat wave. They ran out of intensive care beds in Gelderland province after day one and actually had to cancel. 4 idiots died that day. 
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Jan 13, 2014 22:42
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Was in the field for 45 days. Hopped in the back of a LMTV around six at night and went straight to sleep. Woke up like two hours later back at the field site. I was pissed the guys in the cab didn't wake me up to grab a shower. Turned out that they pulled the LMTV that had the Water Buffalo attached into the small shoppette that sold liquor. My unit was literally two feet away from the shoppette. They could have parked the LMTV and walked the ten feet to the Shoppette and no one would have been the wiser. However the Sergeant Major of post happened to be stopping by to pick something up and watched a CPL buy liquor and hop back into the cab of a LMTV that was left running. The poo poo storm that night was harsh as gently caress. The Commander was tearing thru everyones poo poo looking for alcohol. He only stopped this when the CPL snitched on the NCOIC saying that he gave him the money to buy it. But the Story ends like how I have read most army stories do. The CPL is now an E5 and the NCOIC just got moved to another section. To this day I swear it was the Water Buffalo that was attached that pissed most of the people off.
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Jan 16, 2014 02:12
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Today the guy who has had about three other car wrecks since he has been here backed into another car while leaving PT. The other car was a giant rear end truck that had already pulled all the way out of the space and then he backed into it. All the new kids in my shop are terrible drivers. Another one was turning left at a light and pull out in front of a van going the other way. He refused to accept any outcome other than "It was both of our fault."
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Jan 16, 2014 02:16
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Cojawfee posted:"It was both of our fault." Innocent until I'm proven guilty. Deny everything! I had a female coworker whose husband tried to kill the two of them while driving. This wasn't a PTSD thing, the guy had never deployed, he was just a giant vagina and she told him she was going to leave him for a guy that didn't throw a hissyfit when she didn't pamper him like the princess he thought he was. They have an argument, he starts crying and steers into a cement barrier at about 70mph. They both get hosed up but walk away. She stayed married to him for another two years. And pumped out another kid with him. It's idiots all the way down.
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Jan 16, 2014 15:28
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BexGu posted:I remember renting a movie called The Beast in the late 90s about a Russian tank crew terrorizing the local Afghans. One of the Russians was getting drunk off the brake fluid (" Added a little nuts and spices, its not bad!") who know it was based off reality? we watched this movie in AIT, it was excellent
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Jan 25, 2014 21:29
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We've got a couple of E-5s sharing a house with some other people, one of their arguments just escalated to the point that one drew a swastika on the other's cat with a permanent marker.
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Jan 27, 2014 16:18
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Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:21 on Mar 31, 2017 |
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Jan 27, 2014 18:25
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Fitting, as cats are literally as bad as Hitler.
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Jan 27, 2014 18:26
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Casimir Radon posted:We've got a couple of E-5s sharing a house with some other people, one of their arguments just escalated to the point that one drew a swastika on the other's cat with a permanent marker. Did Herr Artist get his rear end kicked?
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Jan 28, 2014 16:00
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gfanikf posted:Did Herr Artist get his rear end kicked? Edit: he also owns the house so the other guy is probably going to end up out on his rear end. Casimir Radon fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Jan 28, 2014 |
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Jan 28, 2014 20:02
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Casimir Radon posted:The guy who owns the cat is with me on an exercise right now, so not yet. I would think the guy will be coming out ahead if he only gets tossed out on his rear end.
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Jan 29, 2014 16:49
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Yeah that kinda deserves an rear end beating. You can't go around making swastikats and expect to not get a beating. Was it a kitler at least? Moustache and all?
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Jan 29, 2014 17:19
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I don't know. I think the swastikat is hilarious.
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Jan 29, 2014 19:45
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Mr. Nice! posted:I don't know. I think the swastikat is hilarious. Same. I just like that a human adult got so mad he felt his only recourse was drawing a 70 year old political symbol on another man's household pet
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Jan 29, 2014 19:55
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I can see how the guy who owns the cat could begin to grate on you after living with him for a while. He's 27, acts like he's 18, plays video games all night long, and has some nerdy friends who are always hanging around. The guy who did the drawing is probably at least 35.
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Jan 29, 2014 20:28
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Casimir Radon posted:I can see how the guy who owns the cat could begin to grate on you after living with him for a while. He's 27, acts like he's 18, plays video games all night long, and has some nerdy friends who are always hanging around. The guy who did the drawing is probably at least 35. So instead of acting 35 and and finding a more hospitable place to live, he stoops to the 27 (18) year old's level with cat graffiti. Let's talk about idiots. I love it. 
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Jan 29, 2014 20:52
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Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Mar 31, 2017 |
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Jan 30, 2014 02:16
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At least draw a penis on the cat
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Jan 30, 2014 02:18
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whatspeakyou posted:So instead of acting 35 and and finding a more hospitable place to live, he stoops to the 27 (18) year old's level with cat graffiti. Let's talk about idiots. I love it.
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Jan 30, 2014 03:21
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Snowdens Secret posted:At least shave a penis on the cat
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Jan 30, 2014 03:29
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Snowdens Secret posted:At least draw a penis on the cat Dickbutt Casimir Radon posted:I can see how the guy who owns the cat could begin to grate on you after living with him for a while. He's 27, acts like he's 18, plays video games all night long, and has some nerdy friends who are always hanging around. The guy who did the drawing is probably at least 35. In other words, goons
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Jan 30, 2014 06:15
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Snowdens Secret posted:At least shave a penis on the cat
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Jan 30, 2014 18:18
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A few of mine: Glover: Glover is a goddamn idiot. This wonderful human deployed with me from 2008-2009 for almost 15 months in Iraq. Now, let me get a few things out of the way. Glover was disgusting. He would constantly take food back to the room, eat half of it, and leave the rest in the room for days on end. He almost never showered, and during CLS training, when I had to wipe him to get a vein, a large patch of black came away from his skin (he is black) that was dirt to my knowledge. Disgusting right? Since he never showered or cleaned his uniforms, and kept his side of the room filthy, the room I stayed in always had a disgusting smell to it. To the point where my first line would walk in, gag and walk back out. He blamed it on me, but considering that the smell lingered when I was away (and seemed to follow him to the office) we all knew it wasn't. He was one of those people who were a constant one upper and the type of person that would tell a lie and believe it. He stole a TMP once under the guise that he was going to go wash it and clean it out. He was gone for 3 hours before he came back. He does not have a driver's license. This also carried over to when we had snow patrol, and had to clear off the driveways for the CG. Hopped on the snowplow/gator and smashed right into the CG's vehicle. But back to his disgusting side. Anyone who has been deployed will tell you about the pissbottles. The pissbottle was something you kept for late at night when you woke up and had to piss. You kept this away from the case of water you had in your room. One night, I took a piss, and reached in the case to get a new bottle of water. I unscrewed it, and was about to drink it when I caught floating stuff in the bottle from the glow of the alarm clock. I turned the light on, and realized this loving moron put his full pissbottle in the goddamn clean water. This caused such a commotion (mainly me yelling at him) that our 1SG came down to our SHU and told us that we needed to knock it off. I explained the situation to him and he guaranteed it would be taken care of. It didn't, as I still had to live with the oval office, but they staggered our shifts so I didn't need to spend too much time in the room with him. He eventually got kicked out, after trying for almost a year and a half. He got promoted to E3 4 times before we convinced our CSM that he needed to go. Because "NCOs don't give up on soldiers." Well, there's a point where you need to. Lynn: CPT Lynn was a disgusting fat blob of a woman. She sounded like Fran Drescher and Roseanne had a demon baby. She was completely incompetent in every aspect of her job and being a person. She would routinely show up at PT tests smoking a cigarette, and drinking a can of MT Dew yelling at soldiers to push themselves, despite being grossly overweight. The disgusting part really came early on in our deployment. You see, she had a lady accident in a chair. Though we didn't know this at the time. She just yelled "NOONE SIT IN MY CHAIR!" so, being a smartass, I immediately went to her chair and was about to sit down until I saw a red blotch in the seat of her chair. I stared in horror at the mark as the rest of the office looked to see what the commotion was about. The stain sat there for months, before our OIC finally caught wind of what the stain was after sitting in her chair for a meeting. Que him, in front of everyone, jumping up and yelling at her for being a disgusting woman and told her to take it to the dumpster pronto. She looked at me and said "Soulex, I need you to-" to which he interrupted "I told you to loving do it!" Nothing made me happier in that moment seeing her disgraced in front of the Fusion Cell. I should also mention she was a CPT for 12 years. When her OER came around, he put "recommend to stay at current rank." I'm unsure if she got to stay in after that, but I really hope she got out. Sadly she might have gone reserve to get her oak leaf. I'll add more as the thread grows, but a few that I have are Ricky Bobby, New Army means New Breed of People, Psychotic Woman and her long list of JAG claims, Momma's boy in Basic, and a few more if I can have my memory jogged enough.
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Feb 3, 2014 16:00
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My experience has been Chick Captains and Majors (regardless of gender/race/etc) who wear glasses are always the worse
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Feb 3, 2014 16:17
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Booblord Zagats posted:My experience has been Chick Captains and Majors (regardless of gender/race/etc) who wear glasses are always the worse She did. Actually she wore contacts downrange despite being told not to.
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Feb 3, 2014 16:29
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