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ImpAtom posted:Some rear end in a top hat won't hold the bucket steady so you can fight a monster. This is the most accurate synopsis.
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Jan 29, 2014 23:48
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chumbler posted:Edit: Okay challenge mode in this summarizing game is Dissidia and Duodecim. dabinthemiddleofenemyterritory
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Jan 29, 2014 23:49
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chumbler posted:Okay challenge mode in this summarizing game is Dissidia and Duodecim. Something something CRYSTALS! LIGHT! FRIENDSHIP! FLOWERS! 
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Jan 29, 2014 23:53
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chumbler posted:Edit: Okay challenge mode in this summarizing game is Dissidia and Duodecim. God and Satan summon a bunch of Final Fantasy characters to fight for them in an eternal war between good and evil.
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Jan 29, 2014 23:54
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Stay away! Stay away! Stay away! That's my dissidia summary.
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Jan 29, 2014 23:55
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If Final Fantasy XIII had looked like that in the first place, it probably would not have encountered the production difficulties that resulted in the plot being altered to conform to too-early-produced FMVs and excess assets being cobbled together into a sequel. The stupid lines would have been easier to digest in text box form. It might even not have caused Motomu Toriyama to become a modern-day Pygmalion. What I'm trying to say is that that video is FFXIII as it should have been.
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Jan 29, 2014 23:55
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chumbler posted:Edit: Okay challenge mode in this summarizing game is Dissidia and Duodecim. Introspective Scavenger Hunt: The Game
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Jan 30, 2014 00:04
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Toriyama became infamous because of the 3rd Birthday, not because of FF13. FF13 was a mess, but he was hardly known as a creepy dude who perved on his characters until the final entry of the Parasite Eve trilogy and the jokes with Lightning didn't even begin until the rose debacle at LR's announcement.
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Jan 30, 2014 00:09
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Sex_Ferguson posted:Toriyama became infamous because of the 3rd Birthday, not because of FF13. FF13 was a mess, but he was hardly known as a creepy dude who perved on his characters until the final entry of the Parasite Eve trilogy and the jokes with Lightning didn't even begin until the rose debacle at LR's announcement. Here is said rose presentation for those that missed it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj66f6Pvyuk It is basically a 15 minute love letter to Lightning. With much discussion on symbolism. He's very...passionate when talking about her.  Oh, and he's talking a load of poo poo about the "World Driven" aspect of the game, as if that's a brand new concept that's never ever been seen or mentioned before in regards to games in general...which is why people immediately started comparing the concept to Majora's Mask. Pesky Splinter fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 00:19
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I've been making jokes about him being head over heels for her since XIII-2's announcement. I was about as funny then as I am now. Not at all.  Also someone in here a while ago mentioned me having a theory about it and the perfect Feb 14 EU release for LR. It was a joke, dude.
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Jan 30, 2014 00:20
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closeted republican posted:FF2: Star Wars, but in medieval times. FFXII: Star Wars Special Edition, but in medieval times.
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Jan 30, 2014 00:21
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Great Lakes Log posted:I just wanna make sure people realize that this isn't a flippant recap. Caius literally growlscreams the sentence "I AM GOING TO DESTROY TIME ITSELF". He's the only good part of that stupid game The further out I get from XIII-2 the more I remember the plot as being dumb in the best way possible, as opposed to just dumb, which I'm pretty sure is what I felt when I was actually playing the thing. Either way, Caius was undeniably the best part, you're right.
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Jan 30, 2014 00:31
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You're a sportsball superstar who hates his dad and during The Big Game an extradimensional sperm whale fires out from some goddamn where and blows up everything, and the only reason you survive is because your dad's weird friend with a lovely arm shoves you into a time warp or something and you end up joining a group of assholes who are supposed to kill the whale monster but it turns out the whale monster is your dad and it turns out the whole thing is cooked up by the world church and it turns out you don't exist. That XIII-3 trailer seems like a cry for help from someone in the company to me.
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Jan 30, 2014 01:22
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An old guy tells you to save the world, so you go on an adventure and kill monsters while kick-rear end rock music plays in the background and then you destroy the evil king by healing him to death.
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Jan 30, 2014 01:25
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W.T. Fits posted:An old guy tells you to save the world, so you go on an adventure and kill monsters while kick-rear end rock music plays in the background and then you destroy the evil king by healing him to death. I would have no idea what this is but the kick-rear end rock music immediately identified it as Mystic Quest. I love it.
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Jan 30, 2014 02:02
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Amppelix posted:I would have no idea what this is but the kick-rear end rock music immediately identified it as Mystic Quest. I love it. I figured it out when he said "healing him to death". That's one of my favorite things about Mystic Quest.
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Jan 30, 2014 02:03
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Mega64 posted:You're a guy who gets fired for feeling bad about stealing and go off to blow up some town. After recruiting the little girl whose mother you murdered, you go collect monster dung to revive your dehydrated girlfriend so she can teach the little girl to burn things. Then you help another guy punch stuff until your best friend steals your girlfriend and a sea monster ruins your day. You go to the place where you murdered a bunch of people and the leader sends you to climb a mountain with two five-year-olds, after which you become a holy man while the old guy learns how to kill stuff with space rocks. You go murder the fake king while the children petrify themselves and go to a magnetic cave to beat up an elf so you can take a crystal to a floating tower and rescue your girlfriend. While inside the tower, the old man pelts the villain with space rocks and dies. Then you go underground, meet the little girl who somehow aged ten years in ten days, and watch some guy jump off an airship and blow himself up mid-air, only to survive. Then you get a claw on your airship and recruit a ninja who becomes more powerful after fighting his monster parents. Then your best friend becomes brainwashed again and you have to take a spaceship to the moon where you meet your moon uncle who tells you to go back to your home planet and blow up a mechanical giant, which you do. Upon which you discover the antagonist is your brother and you have to go back to the moon and beat up the real bad guy, some racist moon jerk. Then you do so and everything's happily ever after until Square-Enix decides to ruin a perfectly sensible story with a sequel. Also you beat up the elf with the power of singing and a remote-control harp. Also the Ninja's nemesis is a flaming flasher. Also the spaceship is a whale.
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Jan 30, 2014 02:09
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The stupidest thing is that pretty much the exact same events happen in the sequel.
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Jan 30, 2014 02:18
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Please someone try to do one of these for a Kingdom Hearts.
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Jan 30, 2014 03:14
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Mazed posted:Please someone try to do one of these for a Kingdom Hearts. Somone already did
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Jan 30, 2014 03:18
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Mazed posted:Please someone try to do one of these for a Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts 1: Boy battles evil heart-stealing monsters. Kingdom Hearts 2: Boy battles the bodies of people who had their hearts stolen. Kingdom Hearts BBS: A pair of idiots do stupid poo poo and their friend has to clean up after them. Kingdom Hearts 3DS: Don't even loving ask. Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days: Thinly veiled homoromanticism and sea salt ice cream.
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Jan 30, 2014 03:25
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Games are art
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Jan 30, 2014 03:45
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Pesky Splinter posted:It's SE NA's offical Youtube account. This owns. Waiting for Square to make this a full gamw. "Caius has become Triple Bahamut" 
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Jan 30, 2014 03:50
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ImpAtom posted:Kingdom Hearts BBS:
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Jan 30, 2014 03:58
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Butt Ghost posted:This sounds like the best thing. It is, go play BBS.
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Jan 30, 2014 04:12
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Butt Ghost posted:This sounds like the best thing. Also the competent friend who cleans up the mess gets screwed in the end.
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Jan 30, 2014 04:44
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CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:Also the competent friend who cleans up the mess gets screwed in the end. Everyone gets screwed in that game.
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Jan 30, 2014 05:18
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Sex_Ferguson posted:It is, go play BBS. Wait for HD 2.5, it'll be in there and will own bones. I'd have just gone with "Simple and clean" for them all.
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Jan 30, 2014 09:31
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I cannot wait for a BBS that does not run its co-op off of the awful systems the PSP used, it is going to be great.
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Jan 30, 2014 09:45
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The world ended five years ago except it didn't and you have to stop the evil empire, go collect crystals by killing demigods and then destroy the empire's demigod-killing machine to stop them from killing the demigods, pick up a sweet-rear end magitek armour to ride around in while you're at it, and watch everyone else around you do the same. Also, sex. Refreshingly simple, really.
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Jan 30, 2014 11:59
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Terper posted:The world ended five years ago except it didn't and you have to stop the evil empire, go collect crystals by killing demigods and then destroy the empire's demigod-killing machine to stop them from killing the demigods, pick up a sweet-rear end magitek armour to ride around in while you're at it, and watch everyone else around you do the same. Also, sex. I'm sorry but FFXIV is actually just Kingdom Hearts. Crystals are the Keyblade, the empire and Primals are the Disney villains and the Ascians are Nobodies. Also the power of friendship and light versus dark.
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Jan 30, 2014 13:21
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Ok, so I finally beat Seymour Flux. The fight was extremely easy when I just had everyone in overdrive. I cast haste on Yuna, so she could quickly summon all her friends and do 9999 damage, while I let the other characters use their overdrive and then switch them to another character so they could use their overdrive, mostly for 5000-9999 damage. Seymour was able to do three attacks; the lance + full-life twice for 666 damage against Lulu (who was wearing blessed armor) and once reflect+flare against a protected Auron that did a whopping 40 damage.
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Jan 30, 2014 16:16
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More incredibly simplified FF plots FF2: There's an evil empire and a bunch of rebels have to take it down, but not before they beat the poo poo out of each other to make sure they're strong enough. FF4: Super-powerful dude on the moon mind-controls and brainwashes a friendzoned man child and a literal child in order to bring about world domination. FF5: Some evil tree spirit thing is gonna gently caress things up, and it's up to a bunch of people who met by complete random happenstance to take him down. FF6: Evil nihilistic clown actually manages to bring forth the apocalypse, but he's defeated and the world is restored because love or something. FF7: Two guys get injected with some kind of crazy alien cells to make them powerful. One is convinced said alien thing is his mother, tries to destroy the world to get to the promised land or something. The other guy stops him but not before having a psychotic break and suffering ridiculous delusions of grandeur because he was so desperate to impress some chick from his hometown.
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Jan 30, 2014 20:12
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dolphinbomb posted:More incredibly simplified FF plots FF9: Dude saves the world so he can get his dick wet
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Jan 30, 2014 20:14
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The White Dragon posted:FF9: Dude saves the world so he can get his dick wet More proof that IX is the best Final Fantasy. A young man must ruin his dad's job, cripple his brother, murder his new friend's mom, and force his girlfriend to dye her hair, after getting in a snowball fight and reading an old book
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Jan 30, 2014 20:52
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Actually it was his friend's dad too. Not only does he ruin his new job, he forces the dad back into alcoholism.
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Jan 30, 2014 20:54
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Final Fantasy 11: Become a marauding interdimensional terror; destroy all the rear end in a top hat divinity, then travel to numerous alternate universes specifically to find more of it to murder.
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Jan 30, 2014 21:09
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ImpAtom posted:The PSP one is too. Figured as much. I wish someone would buy the IP and just continue off the original 1-5's world. Make 6, set it in Harmonia and wrap up everything at the very least. Mokinokaro posted:The main reason Suikoden 2 hasn't seen a rerelease is that it's a very buggy game. Nothing that really breaks it but Konami is unwilling or unable to fix the bugs needed for a PSN release. Only the US version is buggy, while the EU version had been fixed up heavily I thought? Note that this also includes fixing the gate between the Knightdom and Muse, so no going in and power leveling off of a fight you manage to find and win, or getting Futch and Humphrey far earlier than you should have. No seeing Futch spout machine code gibberish if he's sent along as a party member for when you try to pass yourself off as a student either since he shouldn't be able to be there and thus has no lines. I still have all of my Suikoden games in working order (only one I don't own is the PSP one) and it's fun to play them but getting a PSX to work is hell at times, and an emulator doesn't randomly decide now's a good time for your memory card to fail so say good bye to hundreds of hours of save games, again.  dolphinbomb posted:More incredibly simplified FF plots You forgot about the part where your power hungry best friend is not ruler of the evil empire thanks to your actions.
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Jan 31, 2014 01:12
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FFVIII - A ragtag team of give-'em-hell freelance commandos free an empire from a swole Sorceress. Also, a subplot involves the son of one of the man characters overcoming his crippling social disabilities to ask a girl out.
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Jan 31, 2014 01:22
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Evil Fluffy posted:No seeing Futch spout machine code gibberish if he's sent along as a party member for when you try to pass yourself off as a student either since he shouldn't be able to be there and thus has no lines.
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Jan 31, 2014 01:26
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