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Benny the Snake posted:I'm a liar by nature. Lying is as easy as breathing to me and it should be: I'm a writer, after all. Does anyone have the psyduck that sprouts tentacles covered in other psyduck heads? For some reason I can't seem to find it in my gif folder.
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Mar 3, 2014 04:35
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Hey I said lying came natural to me: I never said I was any good at it. lexan posted:Then for the love of god, why didn't you tell the Sears manager that you used to work at Target and had a good record pushing the credit card?
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Mar 3, 2014 05:00
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Benny the Snake posted:Hey I said lying came natural to me: I never said I was any good at it. We found our new thread title. Benny the Snake: It comes natural to me; I never said I was any good at it.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:04
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Benny the Snake posted:If they didn't bring it up, I wasn't going to bring it up. If you have ever been to a Sears, you know that nothing is more important than pushing the credit card. You have experience doing exactly that in a retail setting, and it's something you were actually good at. I can't imagine why you wouldn't share that.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:04
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lexan posted:If you have ever been to a Sears, you know that nothing is more important than pushing the credit card. You have experience doing exactly that in a retail setting, and it's something you were actually good at. I can't imagine why you wouldn't share that.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:10
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Benny the Snake posted:the elephant in the room. Doesn't this mean there is a topic that both parties are aware of, but neither party wants to talk about?? Or am I losing my mind?
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Mar 3, 2014 05:14
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adventure in the sandbox posted:Doesn't this mean there is a topic that both parties are aware of, but neither party wants to talk about?? Or am I losing my mind?
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Mar 3, 2014 05:16
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Benny the Snake posted:I'm a writer, after all. This thread is loving hysterical. I can't remember if leaving Target off your resume was advice from your job counselor or not, but as many others have said, if Target is like any other retail job all they'll do is confirm the dates that you worked for them. Serious question: do you even want or need a job at this point? You seem to have it made at home. Edit: And I might be wrong but what the hell. I think in order for it to be an "elephant in the room" the people at Sears would have to already know you were fired from Target. Am I correct? Greg Legg fucked around with this message at 05:18 on Mar 3, 2014 |
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Mar 3, 2014 05:16
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Aqua Bear posted:This thread is loving hysterical. EDIT: Now that I know that Target won't go into details why I was let go, I'll bring up Target and my redcard successes on my next interview. I guess I'll BS why I was let go then. Why I didn't get the job on the spot is because I'm not their only candidate. The first interview then was them weeding out the bad candidates from the good. Benny the Snake fucked around with this message at 05:24 on Mar 3, 2014 |
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Mar 3, 2014 05:18
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Benny the Snake posted:I want a job. It's why I showed up at the interview an hour earlier The gently caress man, why? 15 minutes is courteous and professional. 60 minutes shows you had nothing better to do with your life, like practice responses to common interview questions. When the hell is it ever normal to show up an hour early somewhere in a business setting?
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Mar 3, 2014 05:27
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Benny the Snake posted:Yes I meant that. My interviewers most definitely know about Target. I wasn't willing to bring it up if they wouldn't. Your Sears interviewers knew about Target? Didn't you leave Target off your resume and also not say anything about pushing the Target credit card?  I think I am losing my mind.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:27
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OP please describe the manager's reaction when you awkwardly shuffled back into his life shortly after the interview and gave him a hand written thank you note
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Mar 3, 2014 05:34
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adventure in the sandbox posted:Your Sears interviewers knew about Target? Didn't you leave Target off your resume and also not say anything about pushing the Target credit card? I thought so too and I am now very confused. He's probably lying. Again.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:34
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I think he put Target on the Sears application but not on his resume.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:36
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HiHo ChiRho posted:The gently caress man, why? 15 minutes is courteous and professional. 60 minutes shows you had nothing better to do with your life, like practice responses to common interview questions. Oh god, how did I miss that. It's actually rude to show up more than fifteen minutes early. It makes the interviewer feel like they have to rush the things they were set to do before your arrival, is distracting, and just goddamn awkward.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:38
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HiHo ChiRho posted:The gently caress man, why? 15 minutes is courteous and professional. 60 minutes shows you had nothing better to do with your life, like practice responses to common interview questions.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:41
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Croc Monster posted:I thought so too and I am now very confused. He's probably lying. Again. Well, it comes naturally to him. Benny, you do know that "it comes naturally", in reference to a skill of any sort, is usually understood as "naturally good at it", right? You may want to add that definition to your writing repertoire there. e: Benny the Snake posted:It was in a mall so I walked around and applied to a couple of other places before my interview. So you didn't show up an hour early, because "showing up" means "in the lobby", not "somewhere in the general vicinity". Alliterate Addict fucked around with this message at 05:44 on Mar 3, 2014 |
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Mar 3, 2014 05:42
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Benny the Snake posted:It was in a mall so I walked around and applied to a couple of other places before my interview. Yeah, in that context it is perfectly fine, since you didn't actually show up inside Sear's for your interview and twiddle thumbs for 45 minutes, which was the vibe I was getting from the previous post.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:49
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Is it really that common to submit a resume when applying for a retail job? I guess I haven't applied in that sector for many years, but I recall never needing more than an application.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:49
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Robo Boogie Bot posted:Is it really that common to submit a resume when applying for a retail job? I guess I haven't applied in that sector for many years, but I recall never needing more than an application. Yeah, it is. When I worked retail I always brought one with me just in case. Some interviewers seemed to like 'em, others didn't give a poo poo, but I never got the impression that just having one was a mark against me. I don't think that one's worth getting down on Benny for. There are other, far funnier things to wonder at here.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:52
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Benny the Snake posted:Because I didn't want to bring up the elephant in the room. You brought it up when you put it on the application. If you're going to pretend it never happened, don't put it on your resume. If you're going to put it on your resume, then don't play dumb about it in the interview. Pick one and stick with it.
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Mar 3, 2014 05:52
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HiHo ChiRho posted:Yeah, in that context it is perfectly fine, since you didn't actually show up inside Sear's for your interview and twiddle thumbs for 45 minutes, which was the vibe I was getting from the previous post. Yeah, but you know that soon an emended statement will specify that he actually did that, though. He walked back and forth outside the door for 45 minutes, huffing impatiently at the receptionist and practicing his awesome subterfuge lines out loud. Nobody would spot the deception!
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Mar 3, 2014 05:54
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Benny, how often do you lie? Do you lie about minor, inconsequential things all the time, and do you do it during your job interviews? Some people are habitual liars, but combined with your complete lack of self-awareness you could be coming across as a terrible liar in your interviews.
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Mar 3, 2014 07:44
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Benny the Snake posted:Lying is as easy as breathing to me and it should be: I'm trying to be a writer, after all. Your writing sucks because you believe this. This loving thread.
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Mar 3, 2014 08:33
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Quantum Finger posted:This loving thread.
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Mar 3, 2014 09:02
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That was a really gross and enlightening post. Thanks for that, Benny. Now we have found the actual root of all of your problems. Your life is a mess because you are a bad person, Benny. That's all there is to it. You don't get jobs because you have this gross smugness about yourself that you use to parade your successes and mask your failures. Whenever you mention your mistakes you sound like you are congratulating yourself, both for having negatives and for being sentient enough to recognize them after the fact. But you never change them. You have the inane ability to make even humble moments entirely about yourself and how "great" you are. What I'm saying is that your biggest problem is you are an rear end in a top hat and should work on that before you work on anything else. That's the core problem. Give up on getting a job and think about why you have no interpersonal skills and then actually get some.
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Mar 3, 2014 09:30
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So at the moment you have no good employment references. You know how you get a good reference? You volunteer. Find a nonprofit near where you live. Go in there a few hours a week and stuff envelopes or sort mail or clean bird cages or something. Do it well and they'll give you a good reference. Easy as that.
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Mar 3, 2014 09:43
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echopapa posted:Do it well and they'll give you a good reference. Easy as that. I think I've spotted a major flaw in your idea. "I have a better way to stuff an envelope!" and many bird deaths will occur. e: although I do yearn for him volunteering at an alcohol abuse support group and calling in hungover one day 
franco fucked around with this message at 12:01 on Mar 3, 2014 |
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Mar 3, 2014 11:55
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franco posted:
It would make for some rather strange surprises coming through the post if he combined the two.
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Mar 3, 2014 14:31
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Benny the Snake posted:And just to let you know, if I won't tell the truth then I just won't say anything. There's plenty that I've been holding back from you guys because it's in my best interests to do so. It just works out better that way. What have you been holding back, Benny??? The world must know!
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Mar 3, 2014 14:46
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Womens Jeans posted:What have you been holding back, Benny??? The world must know! I didn't even notice this line at first. Holy poo poo. Tell us, Benny. Tell us.
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Mar 3, 2014 14:50
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There is just no way someone could be this stupid and form words in a somewhat coherent way. This has to be a troll.
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Mar 3, 2014 14:52
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CrazyTolradi posted:There is just no way someone could be this stupid and form words in a somewhat coherent way. This has to be a troll. Not true. Have you read the book flowers for algernon?
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Mar 3, 2014 14:55
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Have to say, I never expected Benny to reach the "dance, puppets, dance" phase.
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Mar 3, 2014 15:11
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No Longer Flaky posted:Not true. Have you read the book flowers for algernon? I'm not sure how that even relates, it's a work of fiction and thus not about real people. Benny, as portrayed in this thread, can't be real. No real person could be that god drat stupid and oblivious to what is in front of them and yet, communicate in a manner that isn't simplistic grunts and growls.
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Mar 3, 2014 15:26
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CrazyTolradi posted:I'm not sure how that even relates, it's a work of fiction and thus not about real people. What? That book isn't non-fiction?
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Mar 3, 2014 15:28
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No Longer Flaky posted:What? That book isn't non-fiction? Benny the Mouse
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Mar 3, 2014 15:32
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Benny is Ignatius J. Reilly
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Mar 3, 2014 15:38
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Arian_Samurai posted:Benny is Ignatius J. Reilly I caught myself thinking this at least 3 times now. The *only* way you can really screw up a retail interview from a huge chain like Sears or Target or anything like that is to demonstrate that you are a little weird. They just want to hire some normal people that they know aren't going to go off the deep end one day and are at least semi-reliable. For interviews like that, do *exactly* what the generic interview advice says and don't go the extra mile. 10~ minutes early. Dress nice, but don't suit/tie it. Answer questions as honestly as possible and remember that you'll be in front of other humans in your job. The interview is by in large a test to see if you can communicate with another human without you freaking out, and without them freaking out about you. Canine Blues Arooo fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Mar 3, 2014 |
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Mar 3, 2014 15:49
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CrazyTolradi posted:I'm not sure how that even relates, it's a work of fiction and thus not about real people. You don't visit E/N that often do you. We had a thread about a kid who crossed a red light and got hit by a car that wanted to sue the driver because "he got screwed over". You're also forgetting that the beginning of this thread had pantshitters telling Benny that he should sue his mom over comic books. Canine Blues Arooo posted:I caught myself thinking this at least 3 times now. Can someone explain how the retail job interview process works? I'm still perplexed I didn't get a single interview as a HS kid with a 4.0 GPA while my other friends were swimming in minimum wage jobs.
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Mar 3, 2014 15:52
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