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life is killing me posted:Well I mean, I just re-read that post and I found an error of my own. I'm going to go hang myself now. But at least you own up to it 
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Mar 4, 2014 20:48
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life is killing me posted:Not to be a grammar/spelling Nazi dickcunt since I am positive I do this myself, but I've detected spelling inaccuracies and small grammatical errors in posts made by persons who either told Benny he sucked at writing, or admitted to proofreading his story. Or both. I think the larger problem with his crappy story is that it makes virtually no sense.
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Mar 4, 2014 20:48
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Ursine Asylum posted:But at least you own up to it Being a writer, I pretty much need to own up to it. I had not heard of Thunder Dome before I happened upon this thread (inexplicably still goddamn going after who the gently caress knows how long), but it's intriguing to me. I want to enter Thunder Dome at some point, though I am hesitant to do so because it looks similar to what happens to American Idol contestants--most of them aren't as good as they think they are/have been told they are. I have had people proofread my poo poo of course, but loving writer's block, man. loving writer's block. My curiosity about whether or not I'm as good at writing a proper story as I think I am will probably override my apprehension sooner or later.
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Mar 4, 2014 20:56
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Robot_Rumpus posted:I think the larger problem with his crappy story is that it makes virtually no sense. Maybe if he had more fucks in the dialogue it would make more sense. Everything makes sense with more fucks.
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Mar 4, 2014 20:59
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life is killing me posted:Maybe if he had more fucks in the dialogue it would make more sense. Everything makes sense with more fucks. Or pickings... or birds that go no where... or gold that appears and is noticed by no one.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:08
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While we're on the subject of that execrable story,Death Bot posted:I think my favorite part of the story was two ostensibly Mexican guys speaking Spanish to each other, and the only way that influences the story is the one guy saying ese and holmes. What's worse is that it should really be "homes", as in "homeboy", not "holmes" as in Sherlock. Oh Benny.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:13
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Croc Monster posted:While we're on the subject of that execrable story, I think Holmes is the most entertaining of the bunch. I imagine Watson/Sherlock 'picking' away with some Mexican dude in this gold-filled bird tunnel.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:16
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LOL Benny your so bad at grammer!!
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Mar 4, 2014 21:18
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Croc Monster posted:While we're on the subject of that execrable story, Yes. I always wondered why everyone always said "holmes." You have to be able to use slang correctly in writing, dammit. Don't be like what's-her-name on that godawful TV show that's been running far too long. NCIS, I think? I hate that show and its characters, but especially the one who in real life is Hispanic but plays an Israeli in the show. Don't be like those writers, OP.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:19
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Arch Stanton posted:LOL Benny your so bad at grammer!! For im, a writer you see.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:20
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Robot_Rumpus posted:I think Holmes is the most entertaining of the bunch. I imagine Watson/Sherlock 'picking' away with some Mexican dude in this gold-filled bird tunnel. Or a bird-filled gold tunnel.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:21
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Robot_Rumpus posted:I think Holmes is the most entertaining of the bunch. I imagine Watson/Sherlock 'picking' away with some Mexican dude in this gold-filled bird tunnel. Luis picked at the pile of rocks with his pick. Sweat dripped from his thick accented brow. He look up at the person picking next to him and said "yo Holmes, it is hot, is it not?" Holmes looked over at Luis and spat an answer back at him "that is elementarilarily obvious to anyone, my dear Luis. From the angle of the sun it is 102 degrees. I can tell from the marks your pick made on the rocks you picked that it feels like 110 degrees." Luis got mad and yelled at Holmes as he ran at him with his pick swinging wildly in the air. "gently caress you, Holmes. gently caress YOU!" Angrily, Luis swung his pick at Holmes, but Holmes ducked under the swinging pick and picked up a picked rock from his pile of pickings. Holmes deftly hit Luis in his accented head, and Luis fell to the ground like a pile of picked rocks. Dully, Holmes dropped his pick and rock. A bird was circling overhead. It seemed to be telling him something, so he followed the bird. ~FIN~
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Mar 4, 2014 21:24
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Grammar is boring grammar chat is boring I am quoting this because this is absolutely hilarious and no one acknowledged itThat drat Satyr posted:Ok, so maybe it's reaching, but I think here's another little lie. I definately proofread Benny's story and gave him feedback on it... Benny why would you lie about something like that? And for someone who lies as much as you do why are you so bad at it?
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Mar 4, 2014 21:26
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Croc Monster posted:Luis picked at the pile of rocks with his pick. Sweat dripped from his thick accented brow. He look up at the person picking next to him and said "yo Holmes, it is hot, is it not?" You. I like you, you. You person of undetermined gender, you. I don't know, I keep picturing Luis with this over-sized wool shirt buttoned all the way to the top, wearing a skullcap even though it's 110 degrees outside. Oh, and with gold teeth, because that fits the story.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:28
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life is killing me posted:Being a writer, I pretty much need to own up to it. Where did you get this feeling that TD is like American Idol? Pretty much everyone who competes in TD thinks they write terrible stuff, including those who have won multiple times. In fact, those who have won usually get held to a higher standard and if they slack off, their pieces get crit to shreds. I highly encourage you to try TD for yourself. Just out of curiosity, you say you're a writer, but your last sentence seems to say that you've never shown off your fiction to anyone. Are you a reporter or blogger or something else?
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Mar 4, 2014 21:37
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Walamor posted:Just out of curiosity, you say you're a writer, but your last sentence seems to say that you've never shown off your fiction to anyone. Are you a reporter or blogger or something else? I have always done creative writing, but I haven't written in a long time. The last time I wrote was for Helium.com, and they suck now. Also, you can't make money on Helium.com for CW. And I have shown it to people, but mostly people close to me who are more or less obligated to not crush my dreams by saying I suck. My AP English teacher in high school loved the poo poo out of my writing for some reason. She read my stuff to the entire class more than once. It sort of made me uncomfortable. I have blogged but I'm not all that committed to it because I run out of subjects about which to write. I am not a reporter.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:51
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Croc Monster posted:Luis picked at the pile of rocks with his pick. Sweat dripped from his thick accented brow. He look up at the person picking next to him and said "yo Holmes, it is hot, is it not?" loving gold right here.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:52
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life is killing me posted:You. I like you, you. You person of undetermined gender, you. My profile and AYB indicate that I am penis-having! The description of Luis is perfect. I will be sure to reference it in The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Luis Pedro Gonzalo y Merino.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:53
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That drat Satyr posted:Ok, so maybe it's reaching, but I think here's another little lie. I definately proofread Benny's story and gave him feedback on it...  Welp, I was feeling depressed for a moment, then I read about how big of a duplicitous shithead you are OP. Thanks for that.
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Mar 4, 2014 21:54
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Croc Monster posted:My profile and AYB indicate that I am penis-having! Is this Luis? 
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Mar 4, 2014 22:05
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life is killing me posted:I want to enter Thunder Dome at some point, though I am hesitant to do so because it looks similar to what happens to American Idol contestants--most of them aren't as good as they think they are/have been told they are. I have had people proofread my poo poo of course, but loving writer's block, man. loving writer's block. Literally the worst thing that can possibly happen to you in the Thunderdome thread is that people will tell you that they don't like the thing you wrote, and why. (There's an outside chance you might get an avatar out of it but frankly there are worse avatars you could have bought for you than the Thunderdome Loser one. Like most of them.) If you're ever going to pursue writing seriously (and bear in mind I'm saying this as someone who has no intention of ever pursuing writing seriously), hell, if you're ever planning on doing anything seriously, a handful of people on an internet forum being harsh critics of your work is the least significant hurdle you will ever, ever face, and if you feel unable to handle that, then you probably need the practice. THIS GOES FOR YOU TOO, BENNY.
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Mar 4, 2014 22:30
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docbeard posted:Literally the worst thing that can possibly happen to you in the Thunderdome thread is that people will tell you that they don't like the thing you wrote, and why. (There's an outside chance you might get an avatar out of it but frankly there are worse avatars you could have bought for you than the Thunderdome Loser one. Like most of them.) True, true. I should just quit being a little bitch. When I find myself with some time, I will look more into it.
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Mar 4, 2014 22:36
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That drat Satyr posted:Ok, so maybe it's reaching, but I think here's another little lie. I definately proofread Benny's story and gave him feedback on it... Missed this the first time around, and  As to why, it's because "poor me my story was poo poo because only one person proofread it a bloo bloo  " sounds better than "I got people to proofread it and ignored their advice".As one of the people who proofread it (and this is directed at any of the 1-3 other people as well), did he actually take any of the advice provided?
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Mar 4, 2014 22:46
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Ursine Asylum posted:As one of the people who proofread it (and this is directed at any of the 1-3 other people as well), did he actually take any of the advice provided? More importantly, what kind of advice did you give? A friend of a friend once found out part of my job is editing and sent me a novella of what I assume was her teen angst Highschool poetry asking me to edit it as she was hoping to publish it. It was all awful and I had no idea how to respond. Finally I just told her I was too busy to do it for free and quoted her my hourly freelance rates. I am not sure what I would have done if she offered to pay. There are times where editing should involve telling them to junk it all and start over.
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Mar 4, 2014 23:01
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life is killing me posted:Is this Luis? It is now! That's holmes on the right. This is a scene right out of the next adventure.
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Mar 4, 2014 23:04
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I feel compelled to address the person two pages back who suggested house cleaning. Ammonia and bleach are common cleaning agents. Benny's chlorine gas bomb would drop everyone faster than a bunch of germans defending a trench.
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Mar 4, 2014 23:19
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life is killing me posted:Being a writer, I pretty much need to own up to it. This week is basically a comedy prompt so jump in because everyone's going to be terrible. But with 30+ entrants these days all you have to do is not be the worst, it's not that tough.
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Mar 4, 2014 23:30
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Yeah, if you're thinking about doing the TD, do it. I am not a good writer. But I am also not the worst writer, and just knowing that gives me the juice to keep going and get marginally better each prompt. (Now that I have said this I imagine I will lose next week but oh well). Benny, any volunteering prospects on the horizon? No need to lie about this. Also, my job is literally finding or creating volunteer opportunities for actual children. If you are actually going to listen, I can point you towards some resources or opportunities. I doubt you will take me up on this. Or else I imagine you will tell me that it will become your "nuclear option".
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Mar 4, 2014 23:36
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Tasty_Crayon posted:I feel compelled to address the person two pages back who suggested house cleaning. That would be me. I really didn't think that part through, did I? Do you think literally "shovelling poo poo" would be gently caress-upable? If so, I'm all outta ideas. Ah, I forgot the "Can you reliably travel to the manure farm Y/N?" question. I got nothing. happyflurple posted:If anyone in your family owns a car, lay down behind it, get them to back over your legs, claim disability, sorted. ^^^ go with this instead.
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Mar 4, 2014 23:58
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Benny, I write only to inspire you to keep entering thunderdome. Through you, I am alive. The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Luis Pedro Gonzalo y Merino Chapter 2: Cold is the Darkest Night Holmes was following the bird he saw, but the bird only went in circles, so Holmes stopped following the bird in circles when he was dizzy. By then Luis was getting up groggily from the out of focus ground. He gritted his teeth, and his gold teeth gleamed maniacally in the sunlight. He was wearing a knit cap and a thick wool shirt buttoned all the way up, the way his people did in a village back then in México. Holmes walked over to Luis and forcefully put out his sullen hand. Luis looked up at the right hand and said to it "Buey, I'm sorry. You know I have a bad temper. You are like my family, and I would never hurt you, not even after an oracle once told me I would murder my entire family." Holmes looked down at Luis and spoke up. "I know, old friend, I know. We must one day find the root of your anger and help you get better. I will play my violin and solve this case." Luis grunted a loud grunt and stood up and shivered coldly. "It is getting dark, ese. We should head back." Holmes answered distractedly "Yes, Luis, we should. There is only a sliver of a moon this evening. Pull down your hat, old friend, and keep your shirt buttoned, for cold is the darkest night."
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Mar 5, 2014 00:07
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Xenocides posted:More importantly, what kind of advice did you give? A friend of a friend once found out part of my job is editing and sent me a novella of what I assume was her teen angst Highschool poetry asking me to edit it as she was hoping to publish it. It was all awful and I had no idea how to respond. Finally I just told her I was too busy to do it for free and quoted her my hourly freelance rates. I am not sure what I would have done if she offered to pay. There are times where editing should involve telling them to junk it all and start over. Hooray for Pidgin chat logs? Honestly I didn't give him a whole lot of crit, but I did definitely mention the part where he finds the gold and then gets it out was strange and rushed. http://pastebin.com/F6FFiDhb That Damn Satyr fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Mar 5, 2014 |
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Mar 5, 2014 00:13
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That chat log basically reads as Benny just going 'Okay' over and over, like when you want your relatives on the phone to poo poo up before you talk. Then he talks about a TV show he likes. Which gets to my point: Holy poo poo Benny you probably don't even know what makes a mystery. Do you know Van Dine's 20 rules? Knox's 10? Do you know how they influenced mysteries and mystery writing in general? You do realize that mysteries, thrillers, and crime dramas are all entirely different genres with different purposes? Have you ever even heard of Agatha Christie? You are an English major, if you want to write mysteries or crime novels you should have learned about the differences between them. It's this kind of poo poo that frustrates me. Benny's smug autofellatio whenever he can reference something he thinks he understands but clearly doesn't. 'Look at me, I learned all of my life lessons from TV shows! One liners and cliches are awesome!' I guess that actually makes a lot of sense.
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Mar 5, 2014 00:29
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That drat Satyr posted:Ok, so maybe it's reaching, but I think here's another little lie. I definately proofread Benny's story and gave him feedback on it... Quoting this again because I am actually really interested to hear your reply. What does Benny do when he is caught in a straight out lie? Own up to it? (heh) Blame someone else? Say he forgot how many people critiqued it? I think he's going to go with this one even though it's another really obvious lie. Benny you are a fascinating person help us understand how your mind works.
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Mar 5, 2014 01:26
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Benny the Snake posted:I wanted to bow out of the Thunderdome, but I decided to post because I had to see this through. That's why I keep coming back to the Thunderdome. I don't want to be stuck in an echo chamber and pumping out crap nobody reads thinking it's great like Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces. I ask that question to myself every so often: what's separating me from Ignatius J. Reilly? In one sense, I'm actually getting my writing out there for other people to see. I'm curious as to why you would say this, because judging from your writing, you clearly do not display the same degree of determination or effort towards writing. Taking the American Idol analogy as someone else has mentioned (lol I'm beautiful), it's like a contestant going onstage, saying "I AM REALLY COMMITTED TO AMERICAN IDOL, I WILL DO ANYTHING TO BE HERE, TO SHOW EVERYONE WHO I AM, I WORK SO HARD AND LONG FOR THIS I MUST DO IT!!!" and then singing absolutely poo poo because the person obviously put way less effort into improving their singing, and chose a song that is unsuitable for him/her because "ehhhh gently caress it I like this song anyway (selects Creed)".
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Mar 5, 2014 01:48
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Queen Elizatits posted:Quoting this again because I am actually really interested to hear your reply. What does Benny do when he is caught in a straight out lie? ITS NOT HIS FAULT OK!?! Those people didn't wink and send the right passphrase before giving him feedback. Also, he was reading a comic at the time and how can he be blamed for just wanting to read instead of listening to others?
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Mar 5, 2014 01:48
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Queen Elizatits posted:Quoting this again because I am actually really interested to hear your reply. What does Benny do when he is caught in a straight out lie? Going by thread history, he ignores it and hopes it will go away. BTW, Benny, last time we talked was LAST YEAR. I told you then to go volunteer, you said okay. I told you to maybe go back to school and get a degree that might, perhaps, get you a job somewhere. You said okay. I told you to lie your rear end off about why you were fired (it's been like 10 years since I worked retail and I couldn't remember if they mentioned voluntary or involuntary termination.) I told you to STOP GOING ON OKCUPID and do everything you can to get a loving job. You have done zero of those things. Go back to your grandmother and tell her you want that car because right now that's the only thing that could potentially make you actually hireable.
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Mar 5, 2014 01:58
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TrisIsPluto posted:Go back to your grandmother and tell her you want that car because right now that's the only thing that could potentially make you actually hireable. He'd just crash it. Not even kidding. The only reason all this started a year ago is that Benny's cocoon was threatened but since then it's been safe with no dramas, at least none he's reported lately. So since there's no threat of anything pushing him now, he's gone back to being the complacent dependent that got him into this whole position in the first place.
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Mar 5, 2014 02:04
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Benny the Snake posted:So a little bit of background. My parents are devout Christians. Not going to say which specific denomination. Me and my brother are adults. We still live with our parents and neither of us are employed. I just graduated college and I'm in an internship while my brother is still studying. Both our mom and dad have made it clear that they don't want any form of media that could be considered against the Bible in our house, but for the longest time we've maintained a sort of unspoken truce. As long as we keep it to ourselves and away from the family, they tolerate it. I can't watch an R-rated movie on the TV in the living room, but I can watch it on my laptop away from everyone else. That sort of thing. Moving on. Devout christian? Hahahaha. That's where you begin sucking. Shut up and be a man!
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Mar 5, 2014 02:11
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TrisIsPluto posted:I told you to STOP GOING ON OKCUPID Holy loving poo poo Benny has an OKC? gently caress please tell me it's at least as good as The French Army's profile. This could be the most promising thread crossover in the history of E/N.
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Mar 5, 2014 02:15
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Queen Elizatits posted:Quoting this again because I am actually really interested to hear your reply. What does Benny do when he is caught in a straight out lie? I'm curious about this as well, even though we all know the answer is he'll say he forgot or something like that. Benny's lies don't really bother me because they're so obvious. What's irritating about him is refusal to take responsibility for anything ever. Benny if you're not going to tell us what you do all day when you should be looking for work at least tell us how long you spend playing video games and going through okcupid. Oh poo poo! I asked you if you even needed or wanted a job and you said you wanted one. Was that a lie? Because I didn't catch that one. Edit: THIS CrazyTolradi posted:The only reason all this started a year ago is that Benny's cocoon was threatened but since then it's been safe with no dramas, at least none he's reported lately. So since there's no threat of anything pushing him now, he's gone back to being the complacent dependent that got him into this whole position in the first place.
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Mar 5, 2014 02:32
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