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I'm teaching my students how to write a persuasive argument paper. Me: "You might have never had to write a persuasive argument paper for school, but I bet you're all posting PS4 vs. Xbox One arguments on reddit when you're at home." Some students: "OMG our teacher knows about reddit?!" *high five each other* It took a good 2 minutes to get them to calm the hell down about me knowing what a website is.
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Feb 28, 2014 19:50
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Speedboat Jones posted:I'm teaching my students how to write a persuasive argument paper. Kids have such weird ideas about teachers' lives outside of school, don't they? Once when my oldest daughter was 7 I told her we were going to stop by her teachers house to pick up some worksheets and she was totally flabbergasted. Kid: Miss Martin lives in a HOUSE? Me: Of course she does baby, why wouldn't she? Kid: why doesn't she live in school like the other teachers? Me: Teachers don't live at school, they have houses just like everyone else. Kid: Mommy...Stop RUINING MY UNIVERSE! *said with genuine upset and lots of tears* Once we got there she went up to Miss Martin and said "I'm sorry I didn't know you were normal." Then she ran off crying again. The funniest part of all of this is that my husband is a teacher and lives at home, and it never occurred to her.
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Mar 1, 2014 17:13
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Mar 1, 2014 18:21
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I was over at my sister's place last week having dinner with her and her family. My two-year-old nephew is with us and we were asking him questions. Me: are you a big boy? Nephew: Yeah! Me: Is uncle master twig a big boy? Nephew: Yeah! Me: is your daddy a big boy? Nephew: Yeah! Me: is mommy a big boy? Nephew: No. Mommy is s LITTLE boy!
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Mar 4, 2014 23:52
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When my kid discovered the difference between boys and girls, he asked a lot of questions. "Do you have a winky?" "Yep" "Does Bailee have a winky?" "Nope" "Does mommy have a winky?" "Nope" "Does Michael have a winky?" "Yep" "Does Amber have a winky?" "Nope" "Does Aunt Marcy have a winky?" "Nope" "Does Uncle Dallas have a winky?" "Nope"
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Mar 5, 2014 14:36
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omnibobb posted:When my kid discovered the difference between boys and girls, he asked a lot of questions. Same thing with my 4 year old daughter when she saw a boy changing who was like 2 years old. Her eyes got wide and she exclaimed, "OH! Boys have one of those!" She didn't ask any questions and seems to have forgotten or doesn't care since then though.
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Mar 5, 2014 15:07
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So what's up with Uncle Dallas?
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Mar 5, 2014 15:09
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bamhand posted:So what's up with Uncle Dallas? He's my brother and I thought it was funny to have my kid think he doesn't have a winky.
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Mar 5, 2014 16:59
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Talking with my 8 year old nephew on the phone about an upcoming visit. Me: Where do you want to go to dinner when we visit? Him: Chuck E Cheese! Me: I was thinking somewhere a little nicer and with better food. Him: Chuck E Cheese is nice, mom makes me wear pants. And because we usually see them at Christmas and make cookies together. Me: I was thinking instead of making cookies that we could make some candy. What kind do you want to make? Him: JELLY BEANS! Me:  He loves to call me on his mom's phone and just chat. He called me one afternoon and was whispering "You have to talk some sense into her, she's gone crazy" I was concerned for a minute until I heard my sister in law in the background yelling "Kid, you better get out here and explain why you fed the pot roast to the dog!" I died laughing and told him to own up to it.
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Mar 5, 2014 17:04
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Wife, to 4-yo daughter: "Remember, if you don't cooperate you won't get a cookie." Daughter pauses briefly. "Oh, OK. I will stop wanting one then."
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Mar 5, 2014 18:10
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Subjunctive posted:Wife, to 4-yo daughter: "Remember, if you don't cooperate you won't get a cookie." Your child is brilliant.
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Mar 5, 2014 18:23
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Subjunctive posted:Wife, to 4-yo daughter: "Remember, if you don't cooperate you won't get a cookie." When bribery fails, you know you are boned. My 4yo son to my wife this week: "Mom, this summer when I'm a shark, will you take me to the beach so I won't die?"
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Mar 5, 2014 18:52
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Me and my toddler yesterday: Me: where's mommy's pen? Her: chip? Me: no chip, where's my pen? Her: no chip? Me: no. Her: no pen. She isn't even two yet.
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Mar 5, 2014 19:13
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Subjunctive posted:Wife, to 4-yo daughter: "Remember, if you don't cooperate you won't get a cookie." My wife is in the military and has been gone for a couple of months now. When she first left I had a conversation with my son about how he needs to be my big boy helper and listen good and help with the baby and all that stuff. He's been kind of having attachment issues so he's been sleeping in my bed and says that Zen Aku (a bad guy from Power Rangers) is in his room and he can't sleep in there. So for the first month-ish any time he was acting up I'd say something like "hey, is that how my big boy helper acts? Do I need to make Bailee my big girl helper instead?" And he'd straighten up and do what I asked. Eventually though, that wasn't working anymore and he was saying that he didn't want to be my big boy helper anymore, so I told him that only big boy helpers got to sleep in my bed and if he wasn't my big boy helper then he'd need to sleep in his own room. Eventually, that stopped working too. So one day I told him if he wasn't good he'd have to sleep in his own bed and he goes "its ok. i like zen aku more than you now" 
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Mar 5, 2014 19:34
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LoveMeDead posted:Me: Where do you want to go to dinner when we visit? The four-year-old I babysat: "I went to a restaurant with my grandpa yesterday!" "Oh? Was it a fancy restaurant or just a regular one?" "Nope, just regular. It's called the Yacht Club."
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Mar 6, 2014 01:25
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A friend of mine and her husband had a dinner party at their house about a week ago, so I took their kids (ages 5 and 6) to the movies to see the Lego movie. While we were waiting to get our snacks, the 5 year old tells me this: 5-year old: Daddy likes the Walking Dead. Me: Oh, does he? 5-year old: Yeah! I saw it too! Me: Did you? What's it about? 5-year old: There's this family and they have a dead guy and they take him for walks.
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Mar 6, 2014 06:26
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I'm dancing with my son. My daughter objects, "No dancing. EVIL dancing!" I ask her to do an evil dance and she starts doing the Robot.
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Mar 8, 2014 17:01
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My eight-year-old cousin informed me of her theory as to where that missing plane went. She thinks it landed "in the Purple Triangle" which she insists is the proper name for it, not the "Permoota Triangle". She doesn't know what the Bermuda Triangle is.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:04
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My friend just told me a story. His step-son was watching the ultrasound of his 4 month pregnant mother. He points to the heart rate monitor and says: : The baby's on fire!
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Mar 21, 2014 09:01
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My nephew, earlier: "I don't want to be a hippie when I grow up because they all get arrested "
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Mar 23, 2014 02:23
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Speedboat Jones posted:I'm teaching my students how to write a persuasive argument paper. I don't think this actually happened did it
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Mar 24, 2014 05:03
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vaginal culture posted:I don't think this actually happened did it It actually wouldn't surprise me that much. My mom teaches 4th grade and routinely gets stuff like "You know who Spider-Man is?!  "
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Mar 24, 2014 19:25
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Yeah I can absolutely believe it. High school students in particular will try and trip you up with current trends to try and confuses you or... something. Their plans often aren't very well thought out. I had one student try and ask for an extension on a paper because he had been playing Call of Duty all day the day before. I told him: "Okay A) that's a terrible excuse, and B) I know for a fact the servers were down for maintenance yesterday." He stared at me dumbfounded, then asked me what my XBL name was so we could play together. Then all the other students asked for it too. The worst wasn't them assuming you didn't know about something current though, it was when they would horribly misjudge your age and ask you about something. I had one student ask me if video games existed when I was a kid. I was 22.
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Mar 24, 2014 23:24
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Doomsayer posted:The worst wasn't them assuming you didn't know about something current though, it was when they would horribly misjudge your age and ask you about something. I had one student ask me if video games existed when I was a kid. I was 22.
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Mar 24, 2014 23:30
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Strudel Man posted:They aren't necessarily misjudging your age. They might just be really dumb. Ignorant, more like. They also tend to assume the reverse, that the technology they take for granted has been around for much longer than it actually has. Like when I was talking to a 7-year-old at my church about his interest in Pokémon:  : You know, they had Pokémon when I was a kid, too. I had Pokémon Red, Blue, and Yellow. : Did you play them on your DS?: No! I had a Gameboy.: 
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Mar 25, 2014 01:21
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Arschlochkind posted:It actually wouldn't surprise me that much. My mom teaches 4th grade and routinely gets stuff like "You know who Spider-Man is?! Yeah, none of this surprises me. Kids have no real concept of age, or the progression of large increments of time. They also think teachers just live at the school, in little hermetically sealed boxes waiting for the next school day. When we ran into my three year old's nursery school teacher outside of school, he freaked out and cried. Because Ms Brenda WASN'T AT SCHOOL. Content: My kindergartner's betta died over the weekend, and this was such a tragedy, that he dragged his blanket and pillow out to the hallway and curled up asleep on the floor that night at bed. The hardwood floor. We found him when we went upstairs after watching a movie. When I asked him about it, he said it was because sleeping next to his empty nightstand reminded him too much of his fish, so he went into the hall. (We got him a new fish.)
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Mar 25, 2014 02:09
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About a week ago, on our way to the store, we passed by the drop-in daycare center that my son went to a few times 3-4 years ago. He's almost 7 now. "Did I used to go there, Dad?" "Yeah, a while ago." "Oh that's old school." "That's not a school, its a daycare." "I know it's not a school, I said 'That's old school.'"
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Mar 25, 2014 02:54
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Pththya-lyi posted:Ignorant, more like. They also tend to assume the reverse, that the technology they take for granted has been around for much longer than it actually has. Like when I was talking to a 7-year-old at my church about his interest in Pokémon: My sister has an iPhone case that looks like a cassette tape. Nothing in my life has made me feel quite so old as when my eight-year-old niece couldn't identify what it was meant to look like.
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Mar 25, 2014 03:37
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Doomsayer posted:The worst wasn't them assuming you didn't know about something current though, it was when they would horribly misjudge your age and ask you about something. I had one student ask me if video games existed when I was a kid. I was 22. Pththya-lyi posted:Ignorant, more like. They also tend to assume the reverse, that the technology they take for granted has been around for much longer than it actually has. My mom is in her 60s and gets both. She had a kid ask her what age she was when she got her first cell phone. "Oh... about 50." "...W-what? "She likes to tell them about listening to records, and when her stepdad's friend down the street got the first color TV in the neighborhood. edit: The first time I had a kid tell me I was old was a couple of years back when I told my 9 year old cousin I was born in the 80s and she acted like that was staggering. I look forward to being incredibly old and being that little old man that makes young folks go "Wow, he was born in the NINETEEN EIGHTIES can you believe it?" Arschlochkind has a new favorite as of 05:02 on Mar 25, 2014 |
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Mar 25, 2014 04:58
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Doomsayer posted:I had one student try and ask for an extension on a paper because he had been playing Call of Duty all day the day before. What sort of idiot thinks "I spent all day playing video games" is a reasonable excuse for not having your work done? How dumb is this kid to think a teacher would accept that as an excuse?
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Mar 25, 2014 05:00
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When my cousin was 4 or 5, she asked me how old I was. Me: "23 (or 24)." Her: "But you're not married yet!"Apparently she thought that people got married when they hit 20 and that I was still a teenager. Thing is, I celebrate my birthdays with that side of the family, and each year she blows out the candles on my birthday cake, so I have no idea how she didn't know I've been twenty for quite a few years.
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Mar 25, 2014 06:20
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Pththya-lyi posted:Ignorant, more like. They also tend to assume the reverse, that the technology they take for granted has been around for much longer than it actually has. Like when I was talking to a 7-year-old at my church about his interest in Pokémon: I have a similar story, only the kid in question was 12. : What was the first Pokémon game you played? : The first one.: Whoa, you're old! You're like an ancient historian.I'm 20.
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Mar 25, 2014 07:57
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My aunt, cousin, and his kids were visiting today, and my cousin's 4-year-old son just asked him why Grandma calls him "Danny."
Dr Christmas has a new favorite as of 04:58 on Mar 26, 2014 |
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Mar 26, 2014 02:57
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My 8-year old niece just started using the word "insulted" in the best context (note: she has braces) "The only thing that really insulted me was that popcorn stand" "I didn't get the chocolate pretzel flavor because I was really insulted by it"
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Mar 26, 2014 05:16
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The younger kid was really intent on scaring me at work one day, and decided to tell me a scary story, but that I should be ready for nightmares because it's REALLY SCARY. "Ok, once, there was a monster. Then, an EVEN BIGGER MONSTER came and ate him. Then, an EVEN BIGGER MONSTER came and ate HIM. Then a shark came and ate HIM. And then a whale came and ate the shark. Then a GIANT PENGUIN AS BIG AS THIS HOUSE ate the whale. The end."
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Mar 27, 2014 02:05
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My daughter at 3, greeting a very pregnant friend: "The baby is going to come out of your girl parts, and it's going to HURT, HURT, HURT."
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Mar 27, 2014 02:08
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My six-year-old's class had to write on a poster a sentence saying what they were good at, like "I'm good at playing baseball" or whatever. He wrote, "I'm good at ignoring people." My older son, when he was five, made up a superhero called "Serious Boy". His power was, "He's VERY SERIOUS."
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Mar 29, 2014 08:58
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My cousin, an American who lives in Germany, has a six year-old son. She and her German husband try to raise him with both of their cultures. During the 2012 election, they learned that he thought that Barack Obama and Angela Merkel were married.
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Mar 31, 2014 02:14
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My 2 year old nephew woke up from his nap. "I had a dream." The daycare worker was intrigued. "What did you dream about?" "Cookies!"
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Mar 31, 2014 03:56
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Sponch posted:The younger kid was really intent on scaring me at work one day, and decided to tell me a scary story, but that I should be ready for nightmares because it's REALLY SCARY. This post reminded me of the perfect Youtube channel for this thread. Adults have some kids imagine up a script while they record the audio. Then the adults go out and act out the scripts but keep the kid's audio dubbed over. It's pretty freaking adorable. Spooky Stories https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rap9yNbzpmc Salesman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsRk0TXYXuA
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Mar 31, 2014 05:06
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